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Doran has a crush.
A crush so unbelievably strong that he has to keep telling himself to stomp on those feelings knowing he'll only get hurt in the end. So he hides said crush.
In a world between mortals and immortals, a mere mortal like Doran cannot possibly covet the immortal grace. He learns from his past heartbreaks. He's not worthy and will only hold back the supreme being from furthering their success.
After a night of vulnerability and dark passing, he was forced to believe that no matter how big he loves or how long he endures, he will never be enough.
So he stops longing for anything. For anyone.
Until HE happens.
His third love.
A very pretty girl sits opposite Doran. Chovy had just gotten up to use the bathroom for a moment which left the two at the table. Doran didn’t know it was a date and that he'd be a third wheel. It was Chovy's fault, really. They scheduled to watch a movie Doran had been wanting to see for the past week and Chovy promised to go with him. However, Chovy forgot and double-booked the same date with a girl he had been recently talking to. And now here they are.
“You’re kinda pathetic,” the girl says while inspecting her red-manicured nails.
Doran thinks he heard her wrong so he leans forward to hear her more clearly. “Hm?”
The girl rolls her eyes in response. “I see you,” she begins her accusation. “You like him. With the way your eyes follow his every movement, peering at him like a lost dog, and with the way your body subconsciously leans to his touch. You're so gay.”
Doran's body stiffens. He looks at her with a frightened expression, feeling completely exposed. He says nothing because what is there to deny. She sees right through him.
“I won't tell on you,” the girl continues. “I was just giving you a warning. Jihoonie's on his way to becoming the next Faker. You liking him will only bring him down. Think about it. The scandal. The secrecy you'll both have to keep if he does, and I say IF he does accept your feelings. But if not, the team will break apart and the responsibility will fall you. So if I were Player Doran, I'd get rid of those feelings and face reality. Focus on your failing career and don't drag anybody down with you. For all our sake."
Doran doesn’t wait for Chovy to get back from the bathroom. He gets up from his chair, walks to the counter to pay for their meal then calls an uber to take him back to the dorm. He wasn’t about to take this humiliation from some girl he doesn’t even know. When Chovy asks him why he left the restaurant without informing him, all Doran can do was give out an excuse that he wasn’t feeling well.
Chovy, who had been feeling upset at being left behind, quickly forgives his sick roommate. He brings in a cup of warm water and tylenol from the medicine cabinet then places them on Doran’s bedside table. "I'm gonna shower," Chovy says as he grabs a change of clothes from his closet. "You should drink medicine before you sleep."
Doran doesn’t drink the medicine and Chovy gets mad. But that's exactly what Doran wants from him. For the next couple of days, Doran causes trouble that makes Chovy visibly irritated with him.
"I don't care anymore Choi Hyeonjoon!!" Chovy spats in anger. "I will never care about you again!!"
As soon as the nexus explodes and GEN G. is eliminated from the World Series, it isn't the deafening cheers that echoes into Doran’s ears; rather it's the unforgettable words he was once forced to listen to that tear his heart apart.
Focus on your failing career and don't drag anybody down with you.
As if Doran was being shaken into waking up, he finally comes to terms with the choice he had to make.
"I'm leaving GenG," he says as he drags his packed luggage towards the door.
“Don't you have feelings for me?” Chovy asks in shock while swiftly grabbing Doran’s wrist to prevent him from going passed the door. “Why are you leaving?”
Doran spins around with a look of contempt. "Where did you get that idea from?"
"Ahri told me," Chovy says innocently. "She says you give me the same looks she gives me."
Doran snatches his wrist away from Chovy's grip with boiling emotions.
“Well she's wrong,” he utters coldly, hoping he doesn't stumble on his words. “I never liked you. And if it looked like I did, it was all in your head.”
His first love ends just like that. Because he realizes that Chovy’s girlfriend was right; that he should just give up rather than choose to fight a long and losing battle.
To Doran, loving his first love means falling into the pit of self-destruction.
Jeong Jihoon = His Secret and Unrequited Love
Viper was rough around the edges but was ultimately kind to Doran. Despite his blunt words, he was attentive to Doran's cravings like buying him a bulgogi kimbap every time he made a trip to the convenience store buy his dalgona coffee. Or how he'd casually drape a blanket over Doran's body who had fallen asleep on the couch so he doesn't catch a cold.
Doran catches himself falling and knows he has to put a stop to it.
So the moment he hears Viper approaching the door to their shared room, he pretends to be in a phone call with someone.
“I really don't like rooming with Dohyeon,” he complains into the phone. “He's always making me feel guilty. Like one time he put his jacket over me because I hadn't brought mine when we went out for dinner and the next day he got sick. What did he want me to do? Feel bad and take care of him the entire day? I even lost my earphones just last week and instead of helping me find them, he bought me new ones! Does he think I'm broke?!”
It was the pettiest argument Doran can ever make in his entire life but he was also naive when it comes to love and even more scared to face his looming feelings. So he did what he thought was best; lie his way into hurting Viper and disappearing into his guarded shell.
As soon as Doran hears the footsteps slowly walk away from the door, he drops the phone that had dialed no one. He holds his tears in, embarrassed to let them fall knowing he had orchestrated everything. The next day Doran sees Viper silently packing his things to move into Peanut’s room, but he offers no words of comfort. However, before Viper officially left their shared room, he stops by the door to say a few words. "Take care of yourself, Hyeonjoonie," Viper says with a stiffed tone. "Since I won't be here to do it for you anymore."
For the second time in his life, Doran tramples on his budding emotions and feels another wound bleed through his heart.
His second love ends just the same as his first. He thinks he can get used to this pain. So he can keep reminding himself to not want what he cannot have.
To Doran, loving his second love is like being stuck in the wallows of self-pity while everyone around him moved on forward.
Park Dohyeon = His Right Person, Wrong Time Kind of Love
Choi Doran doesn't believe in many sayings.
But there is one particular saying that tends to stick out amongst the many. "Third time's the charm."
Because Doran's third love occurs where he least expected it.
With Lee Sanghyeok = ?
At 5AM, Doran sneaks back into the dorm in exhaustion. He just spent 6 hours solo queueing after they lost the match against DK and now he is absolutely tired. He had been trying out Anivia Top, Varus Top and getting the groove back with Jayce and Gnar again when an illuminated figure in the living room startles him from immediately going to his room.
“You’re still awake?” he asks as he quints at Faker sitting on the sofa with a lamp on, seemingly watching something on his phone.
“I was vod reviewing,” the man says casually. “I figured the change of scenery outside my room would help me analyze the game better. Did you just finish ranking?”
Doran timidly nods, feeling a bit embarrassed that it took him this late to get back to the dorm. “Yes.”
A beeping sound from the microwave interrupts the quietness between them that had Faker standing up from his seat. “Right on time, I just heated up some crab soup. Come eat with me.”
“I’m not really-”
“Pro gamers have the responsibility to look after their health,” Faker explains while grabbing two bowls to split the soup between them. "How else will they be able to perform well on stage?"
He diligently sets up the table before turning to Doran to gesture at the seat beside him. After a moment of hesitation, Doran drags his weary body to the chair Faker had pulled out.
“I'll only eat a bit,” the top laner grumbles, “Or I won't be able to sleep later."
Faker secretly smiles to himself as he hands a spoon over to Doran’s awaiting hand.
“I’ll eat the leftovers; don’t worry.”
The soup is warm, too warm and Doran immediately feels the way it soothes his upset stomach. He hadn’t eaten anything all day except for a single cream bun and a blue gatorade. His mood brightens and before he knows it, he's devouring the entire soup. As he stares at the empty bowl and contemplates on how to tell his captain that he was still hungry, Faker slides his bowl towards him.
“On second thought," Faker exclaims, "I’m not that hungry either.”
Doran blinks before looking up at Faker to wonder if the other person could read his mind. He gratefully accepts the food with a small “thank you” then scoops the soup to fill his hunger. He lets out a satisfied hum as he savors the creamy broth. Faker watches him with a fond look.
After a hearty meal, they stand in front of their respective doors to tell each other goodnight.
“Goodnight, Sanghyeok hyung," Doran mumbles.
“Goodnight, Rando," Faker responds with a soft and careful tone. "I hope you sleep well.”
Doran can't help but feel shy so he immediately runs to his room to surrender for the night.
Doran takes notice of him.
Every time Doran stays out late, he would be greeted by the sight of Faker lounging in the living room either reading a book or watching a vod on his phone. And somehow it always leads to them sharing a meal in the kitchen that Faker would coincidentally be heating up in the microwave.
But Doran also sees the eyebags underneath the mid-laner's glasses and the hidden yawns they try so hard to supress. He feels this heavy urge to confront the man. He wants to ask him, no demand him, to answer why they were choosing to lose sleep over him.
Meekly, the top laner chews on his bottom lip with an unpleasant feeling rising in his chest.
*There's no way, right?* he worries anxiously. *He's the Faker of League while I'm just...Doran.*
He shakes his head to get rid of such absurd thoughts. *Sanghyeok hyung is just being nice. He cares about everyone on the team. And that includes me.* He reassures himself with this logic as he steals a glance to his right side where Faker was munching on his sandwich deliciously.
As if sensing his stare, Faker turns to look right back at him. A mischievous glint crosses the mid-laner's eyes and before Doran knows it, Faker is reaching over to wipe the mayonnaise at the corner of his lips.
Doran's eyes widen in embarrassment which has Faker chuckling in response. "Sorry Rando," he teases. "You had sauce all over you and now you really do look like a squirrel. Cute."
Doran's brain short-circuited but before he could even formulate his thoughts, Faker is already getting up from his seat. "Let me get some water," the man says. "Do you want ice in yours?"
"N-no," Doran stammers. "But hyung- did you have to- I mean- you could have just pointed at the mess."
"Hm?" Faker asks him innocently.
Doran bows his head to hide his red-apple-cheeks. "Nevermind."
From the kitchen, Doran can hear Faker laughing again, probably because of how flustered he looked and it made something inside of him churn uncomfortably. *Why does he have such a pretty laugh,* he whines inwardly. *It’s not fair at all.*
On one particular night however, Doran isn’t expecting the same sight to greet him at the dorm. Everyone had gone home to their respective cities for a short break. And it just so happens that Doran arrived a day earlier than everyone else so he went to the stream room to grind more rank games. As soon as he opens the door to T1’s dorm, he sees the kitchen lights turned on that halts him in his tracks.
“Is that you Rando?” a familiar voice he didn’t know he missed so much calls out to him. “Perfect timing I brought pasta that I cooked this morning. Want to have some now?”
Doran stares at Faker in bewilderment. “Why are you back so soon hyung?” he asks very quietly. But Faker still hears him (always hears him) as if his brain is geared to pay attention to the top laner at all costs.
“I wanted you to evaluate my cooking,” Faker laughs as he tries to plate the pasta as pretty as he could onto the table. “You rejected my invitation to hang out at my place so I came here to show you what you missed. Come eat with me. It’s rosé sauce.”
But Doran doesn’t move from his spot. Instead he peers at Faker with even more confusion. “Hyung,” he starts off, suddenly feeling very nervous in front of his captain. “Why-” he hesitates. While Faker watches him with all the patience in the world. “Why are you doing all this?” he ends up asking out of all the questions running through his head.
Faker perceives the way Doran’s shoulders are hunched close to their chest, looking at him with so much anxiety. So he decides to speak the truth.
“I want to take care of you,” Faker answers with a soft-spoken tone, showing Doran a glimpse of his bare heart.
“At 5 o’clock in the morning?” Doran interrogates him, full of doubt. “You do this every time I come home late.”
“Yes.”
“Why though?”
“Because I want to.”
“Because you want to?”
“Yes.” Nothing more. Nothing less. Because Doran is looking at him with terrified eyes and Faker knows not to push.
“What if I don’t want you to,” Doran whispers while clenching his fists by his side.
“Then I'll take a pause,” Faker says honestly. “I won't do anything you don't want me to do. I promise I won't."
Doran doesn’t understand what Faker is telling him.
He doesn’t understand because no one has shown him such patience all his life. All Doran knows is that loving someone like him is hard. He was deprived of affections, needlessly seeking attention from anyone available then leaving them once they’ve given him what he wanted. He never lingered too long because he was afraid to fall knowing that nothing could ever come out of it. He was profoundly insecure and hid those weak parts of him under the disguise of being an independent laner.
So he never expected that of all the people he would meet in his life, it would be the God of League of Legends who would personally seek out the vulnerable existence of Choi Hyeonjoon who gave up on finding love.
“I want you but I can’t," Doran confesses.
Faker takes a step forward towards the anxious top laner.
Doran takes a step back; surprised at the sudden closeness between them.
Faker stops and waits.
“If I'm someone you want,” Faker says gently, afraid of startling the other once more. “You can have me.”
“H-how do I have you?”
Faker grins at him cheekily. "Well you already have my heart," the mid-laner exclaims. "You can have my body too; just tell me where you want me."
Doran stares at him in wonder, trying to assess whether the words that came out just now were true or not.
Faker extends both of his hands out and says, "I'm all yours."
*Mine?*
Doran inspects the delicate long fingers outstretched towards him. He doesn’t take them just yet, expecting the man to get impatient and drop them as he continues to leave the joints hanging. Because in his mind, he believes Faker's feelings for him are temporarily. So Doran closes his eyes and counts to five. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.
As soon as he opens them, he sees Faker still holding their hands out, while smiling at him affectionately. Then Doran remembers Faker’s wrist injury from a few years back that immediately springs him forward into grabbing the extended hands.
They both jolt at the sudden skin-to-skin contact.
Faker looks on with a pleased smile while Doran looks on with a sudden case of curiosity because his captain’s hands felt so soft against his own. Briefly he wonders if Faker uses hand lotion every hour of the day for it to be so fair and smooth. He caresses the long fingers before he pauses to realize what he had just done. "Uhm-"
Before he could explain his own actions, Faker tugs at their entangled palms to bring them towards the dining table. “Let’s eat Rando," Faker leads. "I’m confident you’ll like my cooking. Do you want me to feed you?”
"What?!" Doran splutters, thoroughly aware of the warmth spreading through his fingertips. "I can feed myself! Don't say such embarrassing things!!!"
Faker only grins at Doran’s adorable reaction. His heart still beating rapidly since the moment the top laner opened their dorm door. He missed him so much and now he can see him again.
*Rando...my second love.*
Faker thinks the world is quite mundane.
Many people adores him, worships him even. But the countless attention has slowly started to lose its spark for him. Being regarded as the God of League of Legends Esports makes him feel alienated. As if he was an entirely different being than every other human in the world.
He loses motivation as fast as he loses his grip on his humanity. He gets angry at every single mistake he makes on stage. He gets physically harmful towards himself after every game lost. He becomes irritable and arrogant at the team members who can't seem to pull their own weight. Until eventually, the constant turbelence causes him to get benched from the team.
He gets scolded and counciled. Time off the game made him reminisce the feeling of hearing the loud cheers of fans who watched his gameplays in awe. He looks at the young promising talents that mirrored his old self and finds a new reason to keep playing.
He tells himself that he wants to be a good role model and offer a helping hand to these new guys.
It hadn't been anything more.
T1's new top laner is awkward with their stiff posture and quirky personality. But what sparks Faker's interest is the adorable face they show every time they smile with their bunny teeth out.
Faker is smitten.
"Faker-nim?" Doran calls out to him as they set up Chained Together to be played on stream.
Faker chuckles, "You don't need to be formal with me just speak casually."
"Okay, then uhm, Sanghyeok hyung?"
Thump. Faker pauses to momentarily stare at the discord icon of his new top laner. His fingers twitch to place itself against his chest because he knows that if tried feeling it right now, he'd feel the loud beating of his once slumbering heart.
He thinks his mind is playing tricks on him because suddenly, the world seems so much brighter and the air no longer felt suffocating to breathe in. And at the center of these changes is a brunet with crystal-clear eyes, a heart-shaped mouth, a cute button nose and a high-pitched laugh that resounded in his ears.
Because if League of Legends is Lee Sanghyeok's first love, then Choi Hyeonjoon is undeniably the second love that woke his once decaying heart.
After cleaning up the dishes, Faker takes Doran hand once again to lead them to Doran's room. Inwardly, Doran starts panicking thinking Faker would want to sleep with him tonight, but then the mid-laner stops by the door; waiting.
Doran looks at him nervously. "D-did you want to come in?" he stammers.
Faker shakes his head with a smile, "Another time. I know you need time to process everything that just happened."
Doran bites his lips as he feels a sudden surge of insecurity seep inside of him. "What did happen?" he whispers in tiny.
Faker squeezes Doran's hand and says, "I like you Rando. I like you a lot. I'll tell you again tomorrow in case you forget." Doran stares at him in shock, wondering how the other man could confess such words so effortlessly. "So please consider my feelings. You don't have to give me an answer any time soon. But I would like to take care of you as long as you'd allow me."
Hesitantly, Doran asks, "How can you be certain you like me?"
"Both my heart and mind tells me I do," Faker chuckles. "And trust me, they always disagree on everything except for when it comes to my feelings for you."
Doran tries to pull his hand away to cover his face from embarrassment. But Faker doesn't let him shrink away. Instead, he tugs Doran close to his chest to steal a short but warm hug. "Excuse my greedy self," the mid-laner whispers into his blushing ears. "But me being a gentleman doesn't mean I won't grab any chance to touch you. I do like you after all."
Finally, Faker steps back to release the flustered top laner from his dark desires. "Goodnight, Rando. Dream of me."
The moment the door closed, Doran fell on his bed with weakening knees. He places a hand on his chest to feel his rampaging heartbeat and just sits there in contemplation. *What. was. that. Sanghyeok hyung likes me?*
It's safe to say that Doran barely gets any sleep that night and when he tries to hide away in his room the rest of the day, Faker is already one step ahead of him.
*KakaoTalk notification*
Faker-nim
> Good afternoon
> 1V1 practice session today
> 4:00PM
> Room 5
> See you
When Doran arrives on time (because he's still a professional), he does not expect the iced Americano or blueberry cheesecake waffle to greet him. "You can't focus on an empty stomach," Faker simply points out as he drags Doran to the delicious food.
"I get that hyung," Doran grumbles as he chews on the soft bite Faker fed him with. "But why are you feeding me?"
"For more boyfriend points," Faker states.
And if it weren't for the iced Americano, Doran swears he would've choked to death. "Boy-boyfriend?" Doran stares at him like he'd gone crazy. "What happened to our 1V1 practice session?"
"This is the practice session," Faker says bluntly. "Our 1V1 dating session."
Doran's jaw drops.
"HYUNG! You're unbelievable!"
He finishes the waffle and the iced Americano, and doesn't forget to thank the older man for the meal.
"So what's your evaluation?" It was Faker's turn to look shy and Doran can't help but find him incredibly cute at the moment.
"+1 Point," he answers truthfully.
Faker moves to steal another embrace, and Doran knowingly snuggles into those sturdy arms. For the first time in his life, Doran can't find it in himself to shove aside such sincere gestures. *I want to experience how to be loved by you,* he thinks. *Please be patient with me.*
It's funny because if there's one thing Faker has always been when it comes to him, it's that; patient. He doesn't pressure Doran to do what he doesn't want to do, but doesn't let him hide in his shell either knowing Doran might trap himself in his head again. Faker slithers his way into Doran's heart, leaving sticky notes to remind him that someone loves him and wants to take care of him, and makes sure he's within sight. *Hey, Rando, I'm not going anywhere. I'm one call away. One reach away. One breath away.*
Just like how Faker gives his all to League of Legends, Lee Sanghyeok gives his all to Choi Hyeonjoon.
Peyz. Of course it's Peyz.
The first member to notice the change between the mid-laner and the top-laner's dynamic is Peyz.
One evening, Faker is glaring at every person his eyes would happen to land on because the hot pot place they usually go to had to close for the day after an unexpected gas leak. Now everyone is left to suffer the wrath of the unkillable demon king.
"We could grill some barbecue at—" Keria doesn't even finish his sentence when Faker cuts him off.
"No. I want hot pot."
"But hyung," Oner complains, "the restaurant is closed. We need to change our menu for tonight."
"I don't care," the stubborn mid-laner says. "It's hot pot or I'm not eating."
"What if we have hot pot at T1's headquarters?" Doran perks up with an idea while fiddling with his fingers. "We could buy the ingredients at the grocery market then attempt to make our own sauce with what we can find."
"We can't do that, Hyeonjoon hyung," Keria explains. "The reason we go to that hot pot place is because of their signature sauce that Sanghyeok hyung likes—"
"That's a good idea!" Faker agrees with a smile. "Good job, Rando. You're so smart." He says while proceeding to reach over to ruffle Doran's fluffy hair.
Doran giggles at the compliment.
While Oner and Keria are both complaining about wanting to eat something else, Peyz is more focused on the tips of Doran's ears flushed in red and the soft gaze Faker throws at their resident top laner.
*Ah. Are they? Hm. I think so ^^.*
It's always the quiet ones who are the most observant.
Doran thinks he can get used to this: waking up to Faker making him a homemade caramel latte in the morning, Faker helping him with his stretches by showing him the correct postures, and Faker personally texting him about every little thing that interests him (from cat memes to theoretical life questions) while keeping a short and professional tone in their team chat. He feels heard and seen. But most importantly, he feels loved.
And he endulges himself in it, happily.
Until.
His past fear comes chasing after him in the form of ugly jealousy and massive insecurity.
"Who's that?" he spats at Keria the second he walks into their waiting room and sees a beautiful lady cozying up to Faker.
"That's Vexana!" the support says excitedly. "She's a rookie kpop idol! Her songs are so good you should listen to-"
Doran tunes out Keria as he watches Vexana placing a hand on Faker's arm while laughing about something he couldn't hear. His stomach drops; unable to stop his wild imaginations from envisioning pink flowers bloom around the two oblivious individuals.
But before he could say or do something about the ugly feeling welling up inside him, Faker catches him by surprise by casually stepping back from the idol, all the while maintaining a professional grin for the cameras. The idol appears taken aback from Faker's reaction but quickly recovers by continuing on with the interview.
Again, Faker surprises him as he glances at Doran from the corner of his eye to throw him a warm smile. *I see you. I only like you.* Because of course Faker feels him the moment Doran stepped into the room; a proof of how consistently his mind and body zones into Doran's every being.
Doran feels choked up, getting the sudden urge to cry in front of everyone. He turns around to hide his wet lashes and speedwalks into the bathroom to freshen himself up. The feelings were too overwhelming as he comes to realize once more how much Lee Sanghyeok loves Choi Hyeonjoon. He's never had this with anyone else before. And he's so scared to fuck it all up.
*KakaoTalk notification*
Sanghyeok-hyung
> Where did you go
> Why are you not at dinner with us?
Choi Doran
I went straight back to the dorm <
Took a different ride <
Enjoy your meal <
With that, Doran turns his phone off and places it on the head of his bed. He sighs as he turns to face the wall while nestling deeper into his blanket. He knows he's hiding but he really didn't want to deal with his emotions right now. All he can think about is grabbing Faker by the shoulders and yelling at him. *Are you happy now?! I might like you too but I'm scared I'll be the downfall to your steadfast career!*
Doran has thought about it. If they do date, officially, Faker might get too distracted with their relationship, with Doran's whirlwind of differing moods and start declining in performance. If that really happens, Doran will never be able to forgive himself. Or what if Doran gets too jealous that he ends up suffocating Faker from interacting with anybody he meets privately. That sounds even more terrifying.
As Doran busies himself with frenzied thoughts, he doesn't notice the panting breath and hurried footsteps running towards his bedroom door.
"Rando?" a familiar voice calls out. "Can I come in?"
Doran holds his breath while clutching onto his blanket tighter. "W-why are you here?" he stutters.
"I wanted to see you," Faker says with deep yearning. "Can I please see you?"
"Hold on!" Doran panics as he instantly shoots up from his fetal position. "I-I'm not-"
"It's okay," Faker reassures him. "Take your time. I'll be here." And he waits. Just stands there by the door and waits for his queue to move.
Doran exhales a shaky breath then rubs his hands together in self-comfort. "Okay," he decidedly responds. "You can come in."
The moment Doran sees Faker's face, he doesn't know what came over him but suddenly he was full-on crying and it spurs Faker to immediately reach over to him.
"Oh no," Faker tries to console him. "Why are you crying? Who made the baby cry?" He gently strokes Doran's back while whispering words of comfort. "Tell me. I'll scold them for being too harsh on you."
Doran sniffs. "M-my head is being mean. It keeps telling me to push you away."
Faker stiffens but his hand doesn't stop from patting the top laner on the back. "Why does it tell you to do that?"
"It keeps saying I'll drag you down with me. That you'll lose your fame. That you'll lose yourself." Doran sobs. "But I don't ever want that to happen!"
Hearing the heartwrenching cries makes Faker unable to hold himself back any longer. In one swift motion, Faker presses Doran's trembling body onto the soft mattress, making sure that the younger man is unable to hide anymore.
“Rando,” Faker whispers in the dark. “You got it all wrong baby." He tucks a falling hair behind Doran’s reddening ear, “Your existence is what motivates me to get up every morning because I never want to go through a day without being near you."
He places a light kiss onto Doran’s forehead then to his cute nose before hovering over those plump bitten lips. “I've had a long career and it's not so fragile that it'll break from any mishap in my life," he reassures the top laner. "And if ever I do lose myself to you, I'll be right where I want to be."
The tears continue to fall from Doran’s eyes as he stares at Faker’s blazing eyes solely focused on him. “Hyung,” he hiccups while gripping at the bed sheets underneath him. “What if we don't work out?"
Faker wipes the tears away with his thumb. "I really want to erase those dark thoughts swirling inside your pretty little head and replace them with all the love and affection I have for you." Then he mischievously grins. "Also, the only way you’re allowed to drag me down is if I’m on top of you like this, making you moan while you hang onto me out of pleasure.”
Doran’s eyes widens in shock. “Hyung?!”
“Don’t think of anything else,” Faker continues while planting a tender kiss on Doran’s chin. “Only think of me. Only want me. And I will give you everything out of my own free will. Without regret.”
“But-”
“Do you love me?”
Doran stills at the question. Does he love Lee Sanghyeok? He asks himself. From the way those strong arms held him with a firm grip, from the way that back stood in front of him to shield him from the cruel world and from the way they stare at him like he’s the only person in the world. He already knows the answer to that.
“Because to me,” Faker confesses as he presses his forehead onto Doran’s forehead with care, “loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”
His breath tickles Doran’s nose. Those precious words makes Doran's heart quiver with want and longing. After a moment of hesitation, Doran makes the next move to lift his chin up and press his lips onto Faker’s patiently awaiting ones.
"I-I do,” Doran whispers as he was finally done lying to himself that he didn't feel the same way. "I love you, too. You’re in my head without announcement. And you’re in my heart without a chain. Loving you is like...every pieces falling into place." As natural as breathing.
Faker beams at him looking like the happiest person in the world. Because at that moment, he truly was the happiest. He leans in for another kiss and deepens it with more force. *I love you so much.* Doran wraps his arms around Faker's neck and kisses back with newfound excitement. *I do, too.*
To Doran, loving his third love means being unaware that he has already fallen deep and fast without warning.
It isn't easy to admit. But it does become easy to do.
Lee Sanghyeok = His Greatest Unconditional Love
Loving you is me finally learning how to love myself the same way you taught me how to love.
End.