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It starts with a picture.
Ok. No. That's a lie.
It started years ago, when he was a probie, a pile of books cradled in his arms after a Q-word shift. (He’ll never use the real word ever again, thank you very much.)
That's when it started.
Maybe it would be more accurate to say that it ESCALATED with a picture.
Eddie had taken it one afternoon, Buck face down on the couch in the tightest gray boxers, his tshirt riding up, showing a sliver of pale, freckled skin. Ravi finds out later that Eddie had sent it to Hen with the caption “My roommate snores so loud what do I do?”
The oblivious idiot.
How the hell do you have someone so incredibly sexy as Buck mostly naked on your couch with his ass in the air and NOT do something about it?
Ravi wouldn't have been able to resist. He's had a massive crush on the man for years, since the first time he saw him, his books tumbling to the ground when those blue eyes focused on him.
There's a reason he'd accidentally jinxed the house. His brain was a puddle.
They are partners now, since Eddie moved to Texas and came back as a paramedic. Every day he's right next to Buck, fighting fires side by side.
If he thought he stood a chance, he'd do something about it, but everyone knows there's only one person Evan Buckley has eyes for, and it isn't Ravi.
To Buck, he's still just his probie.
-
It has actually been a Q-word shift, and everyone's gathered in the loft. Buck’s in the kitchen baking, Eddie and Hen are at the table playing cards. Chim's working on paperwork, bitching under his breath.
Ravi peers over Eddie's shoulder at his cards when his phone lights up with a text.
Holy shit.
“That’s…uh…quite the lock screen you've got there, Eddie." He picks up the phone to look closer at the bubble butt, his mouth open, blood quickly receding from his brain.
“Hey. Give that back!” Eddie grabs for it, but he doesn't want to let go.
No, he'd rather just stand here awestruck. But Eddie's so close to reaching him, he blacks out the screen and tosses it to Hen. “Catch!”
“Fucking hell, guys. Gimme my phone.”
Hen tosses it at Chim, who tosses it back to Ravi, Eddie chasing them all around the loft.
“This is awfully familiar.” Buck smirks - they’d done this to him after Tommy dumped him. “Why do you need your phone so bad, Eds?”
The man flushes bright pink. “No - no reason. It's just…mine.”
Buck picks the phone out of Ravi's hands and turns the screen back on, his bright laughter bursting out. “Eddie Diaz. You told me you'd keep that private.”
Wait.
What?
He didn't think it was possible for Eddie to turn even more pink, but he does. “I just…wanted to look at it more often.”
Buck leans on close to his ear. “You get to see it every night. Change it back to the one of us at the zoo with Chris. I like that one.”
“So you two…” Chim's eyes flash between them. “Since when?”
“Not long. We thought you would have figured it out by now. Eddie even sent the pic to Hen!”
“You called him your roommate.”
“I mean, he is. But…yeah. I was TRYING to come out to you and you just sent me a puke emoji.”
“Ouch.” Ravi laughs, trying to pretend like his heart isn't getting crushed on the floor. It's not like he didn't know this was gonna happen, but damn. Hurts a little worse than he thought it would.
Buck and Eddie were always inevitable. He wasn't fooling himself. But god, he wants the man for his own.
The team teases Eddie for a long time, until Cap pulls the two of them into the office to sign forms for HR.
There's a cake next shift, and a month later, he's sitting in a rented white chair watching the two men swear their lives for each other.
He may get a little drunk that night.
Ok. Really drunk.
He wants to be happy for them. He is. He is happy for them.
It's just a stupid crush.
So why does it hurt so damn much?
-
It's been six months and Ravi has totally forgotten the picture.
Absolutely.
100%.
He definitely did not steal Hen’s phone when she left it on the table and sent the photo to himself.
Ravi is so much better than that.
He's not that pathetic.
Not pathetic at all.
Except…dammit, he SO is. He does keep the picture he totally didn't steal in a password protected folder and only opens it up on very rare occasions.
Like last night, when he was pent up and alone at home in bed.
It was an emergency.
Ok, so maybe he's got a little bit of a problem. It just…helps him shove his crush down when he's actually around Buck, so he doesn't act like a complete idiot.
It might come back and totally bite him the ass some day but…
Fuck. He wants to bite Buck’s ass.
His train of thought is interrupted when the man himself strides into the locker room with his husband hot on his tail.
Stop thinking about Buck’s tail.
“Hey Rav. What's up?”
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just…work. I’ll uh, see you two later.”
Smooth.
So smooth.
In reality, the three of them have become pretty good friends now that the house has settled back into its normal rhythm after Bobby died. They hang out sometimes, and as much as Ravi wishes it were him, it's so good to see Buck happy. He hadn't been, for a long time - dark and alone and depressed.
Ravi had tried to help as much as he could, checking in and keeping watch.
But Eddie was really what the man needed. Buck still has tough days sometimes, but it doesn't last long.
He's glad.
Really.
Eddie's great, he's always liked Eddie. There's nothing wrong with him except for Ravi's intense, unreasonable jealousy.
It’s so fucking unreasonable.
He doesn't even WANT a relationship - that's the thing. Ravi does not do relationships. It's too dangerous, too risky. You love someone, you lose them - that's how it works.
Not that he loves Buck. Just...yeah...
Better to just be Good Friend Ravi.
It's safer.
-
“Car off an embankment!” Chim calls over his shoulder. “Buck, Ravi - you'll go over, assess and stabilize. Hen and Eddie will be at the top ready to assist with any vics. We don't know how many people were in the vehicle so be ready for anything.”
A round of ‘Copy Caps’ spreads through their headsets.
“We haven't had a good cliff jump in awhile.” Buck nudges him. His partner loves the ropes, and he's so damn good at it, moving gracefully in his harness in a way he never does on flat ground.
Ravi used to be on the winch, and Buck never tangled his lines. Even that one day when the bridge collapsed and he hit the ambo windshield, he danced though the rubble to get the 118 to safety like it was just another day.
It's like watching a freaking ballet.
“Rav, you ready?”
“Oh, yeah, sorry, just visualizing.”
“We will get the car set and then I'll take the driver's side, you take the passenger. Once we know what we're dealing with, we'll go from there.”
“Sounds good.”
It's an older woman and her daughter - they find out later the driver had a stroke and lost control of the car. She was long gone before they got there. Fortunately, the passenger was ok - just banged up a bit.
He and Buck get them both out, sending the daughter up to Eddie and Hen. Chim calls a coroner to pick up the mom.
“Ready to head up?” Buck hollers at him.
“Yep. Let's go, right behind you.”
They're about halfway up when there's a loud crack and rumble, and he screams Buck’s name as the cliff breaks apart.
It happens so fast - the jolt, the rocks, and suddenly Buck is basically sitting on his chest.
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Ravi, you ok?”
“I’m good,” he grunts. “Are you?”
“Um, maybe don't let go.”
“I won't, but why?”
“My rope’s gone.”
“Fucking christ. Ok, I’m gonna slide you down just a bit so I can get a better hold on you. Can you grab my rope?”
Muscles straining, he slowly adjusts until he can get his arms around Buck’s waist. The man is pale, his face furrowed in concentration, and his powerful biceps are flexed as he holds onto the remaining rope for dear life.
“Ravi.”
“I know, I've got you.” He turns his face to his radio, ”Cap, you gotta bring us up right now. Fast but careful. We are down to one line.”
“Working on it, Panikkar. We have to pull the trucks back a bit so we don't lose any more of the cliff. Can you hang for a minute?”
“Not much longer than that, but yeah.”
He can see the sweat rolling down Buck's neck. He's not gonna be able to stay in this position long.
“Think you can spin around? I won't let go, just try to get your legs around me.”
“Do NOT drop me, Ravi.”
“Wasn't planning on it.”
Slowly, so slowly, with Ravi's legs braced on the rock wall, Buck manages to face him, those thick thighs around his waist.
“Ok. Ok. Good. That's better. Thanks. Wasn't gonna be able to hold myself up on the rope much longer.” Buck's panting.
“I know. You're ok. I've got you.”
“Bringing you up.” Chim's voice returns to the radio.
“Copy. We're ready.”
They make it to the top, and Ravi lets go, but Buck doesn't. He clings, wrapping his whole body around him. “Fuck Ravi. You saved my bacon down there.”
It doesn't last long. “Buck! Oh my god, baby.” Eddie comes sprinting over to them and Buck trades one hold for another, collapsing into his arms.
That was terrifying. If he hadn't caught Buck…
Well.
He doesn't want to think about that.
It's not until later, laying on his back in his bunk staring at the ceiling, that the feel of Buck's body against him comes back.
The heavy softness of his waist, the thick thighs, and…
Oh.
God, his ASS. His ass had been right in Ravi's face. It had been right there.
In another situation, it would have been a fucking dream.
When he'd turned around, he was close enough to kiss, and in this little fantasy, he does. But real life had been so different - he doesn’t see Buck scared that often, the man is a machine at work. Those eyes though, normally so damn blue…they'd turned to steel with fear, big and wide and intense.
“Go lay down, baby, I'll be there in a sec.” He hears Eddie whisper. They either don't notice Ravi or don't care. Chim doesn't like them to sleep on the same bunk, but looks the other way after a bad call. Still, they usually only do it when no one else is around.
“Almost lost you today. Thank God for Ravi.”
“I was so scared, Eds. He stayed calm through it all though. Just talked me through what was happening.”
“You've trained him well. Could hear him on the radio, he sounded just like you - the way you get when you're focused.”
He puts in his ear buds so he doesn't hear anything else not meant for him. Eventually his adrenaline fades and he rolls over to sleep.
-
“May, I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this.”
She hands him another beer before collapsing next to him on the couch. “Do what?”
“Buck.”
“Oh. This again.”
“I’m going insane. This stupid crush won't go away.”
“Maybe you just need to go out, find someone to sleep with, or even date for a while.”
“A distraction.”
“I mean, you could always accept one of your parents' marriage arrangements.”
“You know I don't want that.”
“You can't keep pining for someone who won't ever see you as more than a friend. It isn't healthy.”
“I know that. Don't you think I know that?” He snaps. “Sorry. I really thought it would go away after they got married, and now I just feel sick any time I see them together.”
“You don't feel sick. You like them, they are your friends. You're just a little lonely. Look, you're moving again soon, right? This place is finished.”
“Yeah, I'll have tenants in a couple of weeks and then I'll start next door. What's your point?”
“Go out and get laid, throw yourself into the reno. You've told me a million times you don't want what they have - Buck’s pretty, but he's not the actual sun.”
“He's your brother.”
“He is. And I love him a ridiculous amount. But you, my friend, are stunning. The entire city of Los Angeles lays down when you walk into a bar. You've got millions of people to choose from. Buck’s just a guy.”
“Yeah. You're right.”
“And delete that picture off your phone. It's not helping your obsession.”
“Picture? What picture?”
May just gives him a look and holds out her hand. Ravi hesitates, but she looks so much like Athena sometimes is scary. So he passes over his cell and watches as she clicks into the secret folder and deletes it.
“How do you even know about that? And it was password protected!”
“Rav. Baby, honey, sweetie. We've been friends for YEARS. I know how pathetic you are.”
He slams back against the couch. “Fuck. I AM. It's so stupid. Ok. I'm done. No more. Come on, get up. We're gonna go to The Pink Penguin.”
“Deal. Let's go get you laid.”
-
May was right. He just needed to get out there again, go back to being his promiscuous self. A new person every week.
It makes it easier, now that he's not alone with his fist and that picture anymore. He's able to be regular friends with Buck, even getting to know Eddie better.
It's good.
It's all good.
Until he makes one massive error.
-
The three of them are in the locker room, chatting about nothing. Buck asks him what he did over their shift break and Ravi tells them about a new club opening up soon.
“That sounds amazing! We should go, it's been ages since we've done anything fun, honey.” He looks at his husband, full-on puppy dog eyes. Eddie has an even harder time resisting that look than Ravi does.
“Sure, why not. Not usually my scene, but I don’t get to dance with you often, baby.”
Well, fuck.
Buck’s right, though, it has been awhile since they've done anything just the three of them without the team. “Awesome. Meet you two at 8?”
“With bells on, Ravi.”
Dammit dammit dammit.
-
He looks good. He knows he looks good. He's wearing an outfit May picked out - wide legged white pants and a matching crop, and he recently figured out he could wrap his curls into a kind of faux hawk, a Jerry curl hanging over his forehead.
The good cologne, a designer watch, his gold chain.
There's no way he will be leaving the club alone tonight. But first, he'll drink a bit with the boys, scope out a few prospects, and dance.
Just have fun, he tells himself. Guys night with two of his closest friends.
It's gonna be great.
-
No Vacancy is packed, bodies upon bodies and every one of them is hot.
But no one shines as bright as the men he’s with - look, Eddie is fucking sexy too.
There's no denying that. It's hard to focus standing next to them.
Buck points out different people, trying to get Ravi to go hit on them, but no one really catches his interest more than pretty faces to look at, so he settles in to people watch.
Eddie comes back from the bar with another round of drinks and tucks in close to his husband. “You look so damn good, baby. Everyone is staring.” He leans into Ravi a little bit. “They are staring at you both. Think I've somehow landed the prettiest men in the room tonight. Everyone is jealous.”
Oh. Well. The heat that flashes down his spine at Eddie's lowered voice is overwhelming, and he shudders.
“We were just scoping out to see who Ravi should dance with, honey.”
“Lots to choose from. Anyone you want?”
Ravi shakes his head. “Think I'm content to drink for now.”
Eddie's eyes are so damn dark, a contrast to how much light reflects in Buck’s under the strobes.
Stop. You've come out with your FRIENDS, who are MARRIED, and you've finally gotten over your obsessive crush on one of them. Do NOT notice how attractive the other is.
This is dangerous.
Eddie looks dangerous.
Thankfully, Buck drags him out to the dance floor and Ravi is able to breathe a little bit.
Still, he can't quite look away from them, grinding against each other on the dance floor. Buck has his back to Eddie, and Eddie wraps his huge hand around his husband's throat.
They look SO good, like a fucking wet dream.
They might be a wet dream later if he doesn't get out there to dance with someone.
And then Eddie looks up.
Oh.
Oh fuck me.
He's looking straight at Ravi, a sly smile on his face, and he doesn't break eye contact as he leans in to whisper in Buck’s ear.
Eddie's hand cups Buck's jaw and turns his head and he watches those blue eyes widen, he sees the nod, sees his own name on those pink lips, and Eddie tilts his head.
Come here.
He couldn't resist even if he were tied to the table.
“Will you join us, Rav?” Eddie asks. “No is a perfectly acceptable answer. You can walk away and this will never have happened.”
Fuck oh fuck oh fuck. Is he asking what it sounds like he's asking?
“And if I say yes?” He takes one hopeful step closer, not quite into their space, but it's an answer to Eddie's question.
Buck grins, grabbing his waist. “Then you're about to have a REALLY good night.” He looks up at Eddie. “May I?”
Eddie nods. “Of course, Mi Sol.”
Suddenly, Buck's mouth is on his and it's better than any one of his fantasies. The man of his literal dreams is kissing him. He hopes it never, ever stops.