Chapter Text
They all have their fair share of ailments and corresponding prescriptions; they may look beautiful and untouchable on stage but they’re far from invincible. That doesn’t mean Nicholas has to like it, though, when he visits the company doctor again for a refill of his regular asthma medication. He doesn’t get why they can’t just give him a bigger batch each time, or why he can’t just collect the medication and go, but he knows that taking care of his health has bigger repercussions than just his physical comfort; he doesn’t want to let the members or his fans down again, so he submits to the doctor’s usual examination with only minimal sulking. At least the clinic is within the company building, so it’s just a matter of making a quick stop before their regular schedules.
He’s seated in the waiting area for them to call him again so he can collect his medication, leg bouncing impatiently, when he hears the pharmacist call a number and someone who is unmistakably Yudai stands up. They’re all in caps and masks here, both for hygiene and privacy reasons, so Yudai hasn’t noticed him there. Yudai approaches the counter and Nicholas sees the pharmacist hand him some pills and a black rectangle of fabric - a knee brace, Nicholas realises, as the pharmacist pulls the velcro straps and quietly talks Yudai through how to wear and adjust it. He can’t see the expression on Yudai’s face, but he takes the knee brace and shoves it into his bag quickly, like a high schooler buying a pregnancy test. Yudai keeps his gaze lowered as he exits, gone before Nicholas can even process what he’s seen.
Now, Nicholas is no stranger to injury; he’s not clumsy like Euijoo - he prefers to think of it more like he’s a free spirit, and sometimes his body doesn’t quite get the memo. He understands the physical pain of it, knows what it’s like to walk that dangerous tightrope between grinning and bearing it, versus aggravation and exacerbation. He tends to lean towards the latter, much to Euijoo’s constant consternation, but no matter how much he protests it like a cat being forced to take a bath, the worry and concern from Euijoo and the others is what keeps him in check, and he’s grateful for it.
What has always been harder to deal with is the mental strain that comes hand-in-hand with any injury or illness. He can’t imagine what it’s like for artists in other fields but theirs is one where it’s almost a process of natural selection, wherein only those who are insanely dedicated and hardworking can survive - emphasis on the insanity part, because no sane human being would regularly put themselves through twelve hours of dance practice a day every day without falling apart. Being put out of commission by some paltry weakness of the flesh is quite possibly the one thing that would break Nicholas’ soul - he’s fine with being papped and criticised online by all and sundry but failing to put in his 100%, missing one or two days of work when each day is so crammed with important schedules feels almost like life or death to him. The stress of falling behind, the guilt of letting so many people down - those are worse than the aches and pains from a high fever or a torn ligament.
So he can see why Yudai would try to disown the knee brace and pretend nothing is wrong as they run around filming variety content or rehearsing for live performances. But he knows he owes it to Yudai to make sure he takes care of himself.
The thing is, though, Yudai is very good at hiding. On the scale of expressiveness, Nicholas is a solid 10, heart on his sleeve, open book, whereas Yudai is actually probably only second to Fuma, way on the other side. Sure, Yudai may be affectionate and loud but he is also incredibly good at filtering, only letting out what he wants others to see. And a knee injury is definitely not one of those things.
Nicholas tries his best, anyway. He waits for when they happen to be next to each other, when he could maybe sneak in a quiet question about Yudai’s knee, but there’s always someone else around, and Nicholas doesn’t want to make things awkward or out Yudai before he’s ready. He tries to peek at Yudai in the changing rooms, feeling a little like a pervert as he watches for the telltale patch of black on his knee, staring at his sweatpants for any odd shapes underneath, but as far as he can tell, the knee brace is probably getting very comfortable buried under everything else Yudai has in his bag.
“Ugh, this is worse than when I had that cold war with Yuma.” Nicholas has his head pillowed on Euijoo’s lap. He’s supposed to be helping him study English, but Yudai’s knee is bothering him probably more than it bothers Yudai himself.
“What is?” Euijoo’s English textbook is propped open right by Nicholas’ ear, arms bracketing his head, and his eyes are so big behind his glasses as he looks down questioningly at Nicholas.
Ah, Nicholas and his stupid big mouth. He turns and buries his face in Euijoo’s tummy, hoping that will exempt him from having to give an answer. He can feel Euijoo’s muscles flexing as he shuts his textbook and leans forward to toss it onto his desk.
“Nichol, did you fight with someone again?” Oh no, now Euijoo has his leader voice on. Nicholas heaves a sigh and hauls himself upright. He figures if he has to talk to someone about this other than Yudai himself, Euijoo would be his best bet. Plus, he could never really say no to those round eyes.
“I’m worried about Kei-hyung’s knee. I think he’s strained it somehow.” He expects to see surprise or shock on Euijoo’s face, but there’s only resignation. “Juju, you knew?”
Nicholas knows he’s hit a sore point because Euijoo pulls a pillow into his lap and starts kneading it forlornly, eyes fixed on an indeterminate point on his bedsheet. Euijoo is the best leader the group could ever have asked for but Nicholas is well aware that he struggles sometimes, especially because Yudai is older and Euijoo isn’t the type of person to wield his authority and make demands.
“I first noticed he was favouring his right leg, I guess, a couple of weeks ago? So I tried asking him about it but he brushed me off, and…” Euijoo trails off, biting his lip.
“It’s been awkward ever since?” Nicholas totally gets it. In some ways, he and Euijoo are so alike. He joins Euijoo in kneading his pillow, just to keep his hands busy. He wants to help Yudai, and he wants to help Euijoo, but he’s at a loss on both fronts. His brain is swirling with thoughts of the both of them when the Venn diagram suddenly clicks into place - the one person they could turn to, sitting squarely in the overlap.
“Fuma-hyung! Why don’t you talk to Fuma-hyung about it?” Their sub-leader happens to also be Yudai’s boyfriend! In Nicholas’ mind this is the perfect solution to their conundrum. He slaps his palm on Euijoo’s pillow, triumphant, but Euijoo’s lips only turn down into a tiny little frown. It is the cutest frown in the universe and Nicholas would be happy to stare at it all day, but a sad Euijoo is quite high on Nicholas’ list of things he would like to eradicate at all costs, so he panics, just a little. “What, what, why, what’s wrong?” He nudges urgently at Euijoo’s shoulder.
“I tried talking to Fuma-hyung but he shut me down completely,” Euijoo sighs, fingers pressing deeper into his pillow.
Nicholas’ eyebrows shoot up. “That’s not like him! He’s usually so great at listening to you, no?”
Euijoo is quick to agree, nodding so hard his hair flops back and forth. Nicholas knows that Euijoo relies so much on Fuma, that he couldn’t fulfill his duties as their leader without Fuma by his side, and it’s probably really difficult for Euijoo to even formulate a negative thought about him.
An irrational surge of anger starts building in Nicholas’ chest. If Euijoo can’t confront Fuma, then it’s up to Nicholas to do it for him! He’s been shadowboxing so much lately for a reason, and that reason is to slay Euijoo’s enemies, be they undersea dragons or very broad and muscular sub-leaders! Nicholas is perhaps only a tiny bit intimidated by Fuma’s athleticism but he won’t let that stop him! Probably!
“Nichol,” Euijoo has placed a calming hand on Nicholas’ arm, which he hadn’t even realised he’d raised up in a boxing stance. He lowers his arms, quickly deflating at the pointed look Euijoo throws him.
“Fuma-hyung said he’d handle it.” The look in Euijoo’s eyes turns resolute. “I’d be lying if I said I was totally comfortable with that, but I trust him.”
Nicholas purses his lips. He trusts Fuma too, and definitely trusts him much more than he trusts his own ability to beat him in a fair fight. He feels his shoulders sag, partly from the tension that drains out of him, and partly from the relief of his Yudai problem becoming Fuma’s Yudai problem. And really, that’s what Fuma’s been doing for them all this time, isn’t it? Taking on everyone’s worries and gently soothing them away.
Nicholas gets a text from Maki asking if he wants to go for karaoke and he quickly taps out an affirmative. Yelling into a microphone in a soundproofed room for a couple of hours would probably be good for him right now, what with all the weird pent-up stress he’s been holding in. He leaves Euijoo to his studying, pleased to see that his little boxy smile is back on his face. Frowny Juju was already enough to make Nicholas want to battle mythical creatures for him, so he can’t begin to imagine the emotional strain Fuma is under, when Yudai won’t even frown to let him know he’s hurting and the bad guy is a malfunctioning part of Yudai’s body - not exactly something Fuma can punch into submission.
Outside, it’s cloudy and the wind has picked up, the moon barely visible in the sky. Nicholas is confident it won’t rain but Maki grabs a couple of umbrellas anyway, chattering away excitedly about some new song or other that he wants to try singing. Nicholas shakes his head, trying to clear his murky thoughts out and give Maki his full attention. Like Euijoo said, Nicholas will just have to put his trust in Fuma: if anyone can fix this, it’s him.
Nicholas surfaces from his reverie just in time to save himself from tripping on an uneven tile in the pavement, arms windmilling before he grabs Maki for support. Maki’s loud Bro! has Nicholas frantically shushing him; they’re in a residential area past midnight, for crying out loud, but as Nicholas leans into Maki, both of them consumed with barely restrained laughter, Nicholas finds himself relishing the feeling of freedom it brings. He slings an arm around Maki’s shoulder and they sing under their breaths all the way to the karaoke place, happy to cast aside their worries, if only just for a little while.