Archive of Our Own

He wasn’t wearing the ring.

She tried not to be too obvious that she was staring at Chase’s hands on the wheel, cutting glances out of the corner of her eye from where she sat in the passenger seat. He was wearing gloves as usual but…no, they were form-fitting and she didn’t see any telltale bumps under the fabric where a ring could potentially sit.

An odd aching sensation began to bloom in the pit of her stomach.

She turned to stare out her window instead, chewing furiously at her bottom lip as the streets of Los Santos flew past. Did he hate it? Had it been too awkward to refuse it in the moment? She’d thought…oh, she didn’t know what she thought. Or—well, she’d known as she was rambling and handing over the ring that it was, perhaps, not precisely the done thing to do, but he’d seemed okay with it. A little surprised, maybe? They’d both acknowledged that it felt “stupid” and a little too wedding-like, but they’d laughed about it! He played along with her silly vows idea. She thought they’d understood each other!

There was an uncomfortable tightness in her chest, the aching sensation spreading until the ball of dread was centered behind her sternum. She rubbed at it, trying to breathe through the anxiety.

This was ridiculous, she told herself, scolding. He was allowed to feel however he wanted about the ring and do whatever he wanted with it! It was a gift, given freely. And she of all people knew exactly what it was like to get gifts she hated and never asked for; exhibits A-Z: every present her grandparents and extended relatives had ever given to her throughout her entire childhood. And god forbid she didn’t show enough enthusiasm when she opened said gifts, god forbid she didn’t wear that dress or that hair bow the next time they visited. God forbid she be “ungrateful,” like that was the worst crime a child could commit.

She couldn’t do that to Chase. What right did she have to call him to account and ask him to perform gratitude for her? For what purpose? Her own ego? God, the idea of being anything like—

“You okay there, 67?”

“Wha—huh?” she said reflexively, startled out of the anxious spiral of her thoughts. She turned to look over at Chase as her brain took a moment to process his question. He cast her a puzzled glance before returning his attention to the road as a car cut in front of them, clicking his tongue in annoyance. “Oh! Uh, I’m fine.”

“Yea?” He still sounded skeptical. “You seem awfully quiet this morning.”

Ugh, why did he have to be so perceptive? She needed to think up a suitable excuse.

“No, yea, just tired. Yesterday was a lot and I went to bed late and woke up earlier than I wanted and couldn’t go back to sleep. So.”

Which wasn’t a total lie. She’d been so giddy last night after the high of the sakura festival, it’d taken ages to calm down enough to fall asleep. But Roku Nana wasn’t allowed to have nice things, so she’d been plagued by dark, unsettling dreams, the details of which she couldn’t recall upon being rudely awakened by Winter’s insistent paws, batting at her face at 6 AM, imperiously informing Roku that it was Time For Breakfast. And then Buddy needed to go out for a walk and by the time she’d gotten back into her apartment, it wasn’t worth trying to get any more sleep since she had to be back at work soon anyway. She genuinely was more tired than usual, but she felt the echoes of those dreams haunting her still, which only exacerbated her current anxieties.

Chase hummed vaguely in agreement. “Yesterday was a lot. You wanna make a coffee run? Perk you up a little?”

She was about to say no when it occurred to her that it might be better to give him a task to focus on besides prying into her low mood. “Yea, sure, thanks.”

“You got it,” he said, immediately and smoothly executing a U-turn to head towards the Uwu cafe. A moment later he fiddled with his phone and the jaunty tunes of what was probably another Kevin Macleod masterpiece started playing over the car speakers.

Roku turned away towards her window, trying to hide her smile as he started humming along, slightly off-key. Idiot, she thought fondly.

He refused to let her pay for her coffee.

Idiot, she thought (decidedly less fondly), as she tried, unsuccessfully, to hand him cash again. “Their prices are highway robbery,” she argued. “Just take the money.” It wasn’t like she couldn’t afford it.

“It’s one coffee, you can get me next time,” he said firmly, shooing her away. “Go pet some cats, de-stress a little.”

She huffed and sulked away to do just that. A few minutes later, she was still annoyed at his fussing, but maybe it did make her feel a little better—not that she would admit that to him. She was aware that there was something slightly irrational about her irritation over something so minor, but she didn’t have it in her to analyze the hows and whys at the moment.

She was petting a sweet calico whose belly was not a trap and contemplating whether it would be worth sacrificing her dignity to bury her face in its fluff when he came back with their drinks. She shot him a frosty glare as she took her coffee, just to make sure he knew she was still unhappy with his unasked-for chivalry.

If it bothered him, it didn’t show on his face. “You ready, 67?”

She took a sip of her drink. Iced Americano, no sugar, no cream, just how she liked it.

Ugh! How dare he know her so well? And yet somehow he—whatever, she wasn’t going to think about it.

“Good?” he asked, a sly glint in his eye, like he knew what she was thinking.

Annoying man! “It’s fine,” she replied curtly.

“Uh-huh,” he said, heading towards the cafe entrance. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“...thanks.”

“Mmhmm,” he said, holding the door open for her. “You know, you can just let me treat you sometimes, right? Friends cover small things for each other like that all the time.”

Right. Friends. Well…maybe she didn’t know that. But admitting she didn’t know how the intricacies of friendship worked felt especially galling right now. She grunted in response, sipping her drink as an excuse not to talk.

“And if you’ve got something on your mind, you know you can always talk to me about it, right?”

She sighed and mumbled, “I know.” Even though she really could not—not about this—for all the reasons she was brooding over before.

“Okaaaaay,” he replied, as he unlocked the car, clearly unconvinced.

“I do know,” she insisted, sliding into the passenger seat, “but I promise you I’m just tired. And honestly? Probably a little overstimulated by,” she waved her hand around vaguely, “you know, everything these past few days.”

He slid into the driver’s seat, slamming the door shut. “Hold on,” he told her, then said into the radio on his shoulder, “007 and 67, going 10-8.”

She turned on her own radio in time to hear the responding chorus of “oooohs” and a “welcome back, lovebirds” from Shelby. Inexplicably, the familiar teasing rankled.

Chase rolled his eyes as he started up the car and backed out of the parking spot, and that, too, smarted. What was going on with her?

“Hey, I get it,” he said, picking up the conversation again once they were back out on the streets. “And if you need me to be a little more quiet today, I can do that. Just…let me know what you need.”

“...thanks, Chase.”

“Anytime,” he replied, the way he always did. But today? Right now? Somehow it failed to comfort her.

Any benefits from the cat-petting serotonin did not last long and Roku was, once again, brooding. Her tendency to wallow was probably her worst quality, but she couldn’t help it. It was just…so difficult to see past her pain to a solution sometimes. And the caffeine, while it did perk her up, also turbo-charged her navel-gazing tendencies.

The truth—if she had to admit it—was that there was a horrible, feral, unloved…creature inside of her that didn’t know how to react to kindness, that mistrusted a gentle hand, always expecting the worst. Until recently, it only knew how to snarl and snap and bare its teeth, to hurt before being hurt. It wasn’t until she met Chase and the rest of the LSPD that she learned that she could be soft, that she could expose her vulnerable underbelly and be met with understanding and care.

But old habits were hard to break, even though she was trying. She knew, rationally, that Chase had no obligation to like or wear the ring. But the wounded animal part of her only saw the rejection and it howled and scratched inside of her, unsettling her nerves, goading her to lash out at the only person who saw her clearly. And it wasn’t fair. She knew it wasn’t fair to take her pain out on him, to be irritable and short with him when he’d done nothing to deserve it and was, in fact, being remarkably patient with her.

Aside from the perceived rejection, she was also mortified at the idea that she’d misstepped somehow, that the terrible unloved creature in her—desperate to keep the first source of warmth it’d found in years close—had pushed too hard, too early. It hated—feared—making mistakes and now it prowled the cage of her psyche, hypervigilant, conditioned to expect pain for its shortcomings and wondering where the first strike would come from.

Except it would never come, because Chase wasn’t built like that. He didn’t lash out like her. If he had a creature in him, it swallowed its teeth, preferring instead to curl itself protectively, armor-like, around his pain. It left her feeling wrong-footed, like a missed step in a familiar dance routine. There was a part of her that only understood violence as punishment for her transgressions. Adler had understood that about her, but Chase, she knew, would sooner die than raise a hand to her and she didn’t know what to do with it.

She wished she wasn’t so screwed up. She wished she had any idea of how to be a good friend. She wished she could stop making the wrong choice over and over. But she simply had no frame of reference.

And, well…maybe that was the solution. She needed information. Maybe trying to figure out romantic love was too advanced a subject to start with. She needed to figure out the rules of friendship first.

And she knew exactly who to ask.

But after they responded to this “shots fired” incident. Crime didn’t stop for self-realization journeys, unfortunately.

There was no one at the scene by the time they arrived. They elected to divide and conquer: Chase went looking for nearby witnesses who might have information about what they’d seen or heard while she scoured the area for evidence. It felt good to have something to do that didn’t involve ruminating over her many flaws. There was just the mission and it felt cleansing to shut out the noise, at least for a little bit. Twenty minutes later, she’d found two blood traces and bagged a few bullet casings.

“Anything?” she asked, as they met up at the cruiser.

Chase blew a raspberry. “Not much,” he said. “Most folks weren’t at home. One of the neighbors said he’d heard the shots, but was too far to see anything and too scared to go looking, which is fair, honestly. You get anything?”

“Some blood and a few bullet casings,” she confirmed, climbing into the car when Chase unlocked it.

He sighed, starting the engine and pulling out onto the road. “Well that’s something at least. Let’s take it back for processing, see if we can’t get a hit.”

“Sure,” she agreed, pulling out her phone as she settled in for the car ride. She scrolled down to her text conversation with Orly. It was time for their usual check in and today, at least, they’d have more to talk about beyond their usual, “You good? Okay, me too.”

NS
How are you today?

Orly responded almost immediately.

Orly
Hi Nana!! I’m good! How about you?

NS
I’m fine. Actually, I had a question I could use
your advice on

Orly was the perfect person to ask about this. Since she wasn’t in Los Santos, Roku didn’t have to worry about looking her in the face if it turned out she was actually an antisocial weirdo who’d made the biggest friendship faux-pas this side of the Pacific.

Orly
Oh? Sure, what’s up?

NS
So, hypothetically: if you bought a friend a
ring, would that be…weird?

There was a pause. The typing bubble popped up. Then disappeared. Another pause. More typing. She could feel herself starting to sweat.

Orly
Oh! Well, what kind of ring are we talking? Like
a Ring Pop ring or…?

NS
Just…the regular kind. Like from a jeweler.

Orly
Oh. So…a RING ring?

NS
I mean, is there another kind?

Orly
Would it happen to be a diamond ring?? 👀

NS
No? It’s an emerald.

Orly
And…how much was this ring?

Roku paused, debating. It was probably better to be honest right? To get an informed opinion?

NS
Um. Like. 400k.

Orly
AKL;SDFJKASKD

400k?????

I’m pretty sure my bike cost less than
that!!!!

Oh my god, DID YOU PROPOSE?? DID
YOU ELOPE??

Wait you bought this for Chase right??
Is this you soft-launching your relationship??
Or I guess hard-launching???

Her eyes widened as Orly’s messages came in rapid-fire, one after the other. Oh. Oh no…oh she had to fix this immediately.

NS
No, I didn’t propose!! It’s a thank you
ring! Not an engagement ring!

Also, this is hypothetical!

She wasn’t sure what her face was doing, but as if sensing her internal panic, Chase frowned and looked over at her. “Everything good?”

“I’m fine,” she replied, trying to sound nonchalant, but her voice sounded weirdly strident, even to her ears. “Just…checking in on Orly.”

“Oh. Well, tell her I said hi.”

“Yea, sure, of course,” she said, distractedly, waiting on tenterhooks for Orly’s response, watching the typing bubble pop up, stop, then pop up again, for what felt like forever.

Orly
Right. Hypothetical. Okay, well… I
guess it depends on how your
hypothetical friend reacted? Like did
he seem weird about it?

Nana shot a look at Chase out of the corner of her eye. He did seem pretty normal, which was…good? But also…annoying! Because what did it mean?

NS
Well, he seemed okay with it…

Orly
Okay? So we’re worried because…?

NS
Well, what does it mean if he’s not
wearing it? Hypothetically.

Orly
🤔 I mean, there’s a lot of reasons. Did
you ask him why?

NS
No, because if he hated it, it would make
it awkward for him. And me.

Again, hypothetically.

Orly
I guess that’s true... Well, I think if he’s
acting like things are normal you’re
probably fine!

NS
Okay, but is it weird? To buy a friend a
ring? Like, in general?

Orly
I think it depends on the friend! Like if
you bought me a ring, I’d think it was cute!
And I’d be really touched!

Not saying you need to buy me a ring btw

But if someone I didn’t know as well did
that then yeah, I might think it was weird

NS
Right. Well, thank you for your perspective.

Orly
Of course! And if hypothetically you bought
Chase a ring, that’d be very cute 😊

She suppressed a groan.

NS
Right…He says hi, by the way

Orly
Tell him I say hi back!

And just talk to him! I’m sure it’s all fine!

She was absolutely not going to do that. But in any case…

NS
Again! Hypothetical!

Thanks Orly. Talk to you later.

Orly
😂 Alright, alright. Bye! Stay safe!

Roku sighed and put her phone away. Okay, so that had been a miscalculation. She’d been so focused on proximity and avoiding facing her shame in person that she’d forgotten Orly was biased towards them and would of course think it’d be fine. She had to come up with a different angle of attack…friends were clearly a no-go here…

“How’s Orly?” Chase asked, interrupting her train of thought.

“Hmm? Oh! Um, she’s fine. She says hi back.”

“Yea? You uh…looked like you guys were having a pretty intense conversation.”

She turned to look at him, trying to parse his tone and body language. He’d said it all nonchalant, but…hmmm.

“I wouldn’t say intense,” she replied carefully after a beat. “She just wanted my opinion on something that happened with a friend back home.”

“Is everything okay?”

She was about to make an excuse about it being privileged “girl talk” but was saved by Dispatch reporting a bank robbery.

“Call it in, 67,” said Chase, all business now, turning on the lights and hitting the accelerator.

“67 and 007 en route to the robbery,” she reported dutifully, setting the GPS for Chase and letting the adrenaline calm her nerves. Thank god for crime. Which gave her an idea…

It was the Batchelors. Of course.

The chase was long, but it was a damn good one. Chase, Shelby, and Omi were locked in today, Hillby was killing it up in Air One even without Adler, and they finally ran the gang aground up in Vinewood Hills, which had been nervewracking given the tight streets. The Batchelors had bailed out of the car and taken off on foot, leading to chaos for several minutes as the LSPD split up to run them down.

Roku found herself chasing down a familiar blond and managed to drag him down in someone’s backyard as he was attempting to climb the fence.

“Hi, Officer Nana,” groaned Sonny Briscoops, as she cuffed him and read him his rights, then dragged him back up on his feet to walk him back to the police vehicles.

“Well, well, Mr. Briscoops,” she said, helping him out of the yard and up a hilly embankment. “Just the man I wanted to talk to.” It occurred to her that maybe what she needed was perspective from someone who didn’t like her and wouldn’t try to sugarcoat things. So the fact that it was the Batchelors robbing the bank and more importantly, that it was Sonny she’d managed to apprehend, seemed to be a sign from the universe that she was on the right track.

“Oh, uh, really?” he asked in response, sounding genuinely surprised. Then, “Ohhhh, about the Thing you asked me to keep an ear out for. Uh…” he took a look around to make sure no one was close enough to hear, then turned his head towards her, lowering his voice, “I’m really sorry, I’ve been asking but I haven’t heard—”

“It’s fine,” she interrupted him, curtly. “I got the information I needed.”

“Oh!” said Sonny. “Um, that’s great! It is good, right?” And he seemed sincerely interested.

“It’s…something,” she said, with no intention of elaborating. “But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“No? How can I help you then?”

“Um, one second,” she said, as they approached the knot of police cars. She’d mostly been tuning out the radio chatter, but now she focused her attention towards it. Over the comms she heard Chief asking for a sitrep on who’d been arrested. It sounded like they’d gotten everyone but Luca, whom Shelby was still chasing. In the meantime, they were waiting on EMS to come treat Yukyun and poor Dweemer, who were both down somehow.

“Right,” she said, walking Sonny over to Omi’s car, which was parked farthest away. Omi himself was crouched down next to Dweemer on the front lawn of one of the neighboring houses, apparently reassuring him. She stopped Sonny on the far side of the car, where they could have relative privacy. “So…I have a question. It’s um…it’s a little personal. I just need some outside perspective.”

“Uh, okay?”

“From someone who doesn’t like me and therefore won’t be biased to just telling me what I want to hear.”

Sonny paused for a few seconds. She could imagine him blinking behind his mask. He cocked his head, seemingly befuddled. “But…I do like you?”

Roku sputtered. “I—but? No, we’re on the clock! You’re a criminal, I’m a cop, we don’t like each other. I’m literally arresting you right now!”

Sonny shrugged. “Well, sure, but I mean, that’s the job. It’s not personal.”

“I don’t like you,” came a slightly muffled voice. “You could ask me?”

“Kyle?” asked Sonny. He and Roku turned around, trying to locate where his voice was coming from.

“I’m in the backseat,” said Kyle.

Roku and Sonny both leaned down a little to look in the window. Sure enough, there was Kyle. He waved at them with his cuffed hands.

She scowled. “This is a private conversation. You’re not invited.”

“You’re literally having it right next to me though?”

“You don’t have to listen!”

“Again, I’m right here. It’s not like I can go anywhere.”

“Just—be quiet,” Roku snapped, then took a few steps away from the car with Sonny.

“Sorry about him,” Sonny said. “I, uh, can promise to try to be objective? Even though I don’t hate you?”

Roku sighed. She guessed it was close enough. “Okay, so…hypothetically. Would it be weird to buy a friend a ring? As a gesture of appreciation?”

Sonny paused. “Wow, uh…not where I thought this conversation would go.” He leaned his head back in thought, looking up at the sky, rocking back and forth on his heels. “Ummm…I mean, I guess it would depend on what kind of friend it is? Like…if it was from your homie, that’s just your bro. That’s not weird.”

That…seemed promising. “Okay, so it’s not weird between good friends?”

He made a hesitant noise, wiggling his head. “Wellll…again it’s about the type of friend. Like, your homie is like…super platonic, right? You know that there’s nothing more intended. But like…if you gave me a ring, let’s say, I’d be like, ‘whoa, is she into me? Is Officer McCarthy going to kick my ass?’ because we’re not homies like that. You know?”

Roku spluttered, utterly lost for words. There was…so much that was wrong about what was just said, she didn’t know where to start.

“I think it’s weird no matter what,” Kyle called from the car. “Everyone knows rings are romantic.”

“Shut up, Kyle!” she snapped, at the same time as Sonny said, “Not helpful, Kyle.”

How had he heard that? Ugh. Roku dragged Sonny farther from the car, before rounding on him.

“First of all,” she said, pointing accusingly at Sonny. “We’re not friends—”

“Ouch?”

“—you’re my informant. Don’t give me that face, I can tell that you're pouting at me behind the mask. This is a professional, collegial relationship.”

“Harsh, but okay...”

“And!” she continued fervently. “I don’t see what Officer McCarthy has to do with this at all!”

He cocked his head, seemingly stunned into silence for a moment. “But…” he said uncertainly. “Aren’t you dating?”

Where were people getting this information!? She shook her head, flabbergasted. “What? Are you talking about? Of course we’re not dating!”

“But you were just on a date yesterday! At the sakura village?”

“We were not,” Roku snapped, even though…no, it wasn’t a date.

He shook his head. “I don’t understand? Officer McCarthy said you were!”

She brought her hands up to her temples, massaging them, utterly bewildered. What. Was. Happening? What bizarre reality was Sonny inhabiting? “When did he say that?” she demanded, voice embarrassingly shrill.

“He said—” Sonny paused, as if replaying the conversation in his head. “Okay, so maybe he didn’t say it himself actually. But! I asked him if you guys were enjoying your date! And he said you were!”

Roku cast her mind back, trying to recall that conversation. They had seen Sonny, but…there was no way. He must have misheard. “I…I think he maybe thought you said day and not date?” she said desperately. That was the only explanation that made sense.

He made an unconvinced sound. “I mean…maybe, I guess. If you say it wasn’t a date, I guess it wasn’t a date. My bad.”

“It wasn’t,” she insisted.

“Okay, sure,” Sonny agreed, in a tone that seemed like he was humoring her. She grit her teeth in annoyance. Whatever, they had to get back on topic.

“So…it’s only weird if…if it could be misconstrued as romantic?” she summarized.

He bobbed his head from side to side as he considered it. “Yeah, that’s kind of the long and short of it, I think.”

She sighed and scrubbed her face with her hands. This was…potentially not looking great for her.

“You, uh…you doing okay there, Officer Nana?” Sonny asked hesitantly.

“I’m great,” she lied flatly, towing him back towards the police car.

“You sure?”

“Yup.”

“Hmm…so…were you the one getting the ring? Or the one giving the ring?”

She shot him a glare out of the corner of her eyes. “This is hypothetical. So it doesn’t matter.”

“I mean, it matters a little,” he said, as she brought him around to the other side of Omi’s car.

“What matters a little?” asked Kyle.

“None of your business,” she groused, as she opened the door.

“Whether she’d be the one giving or receiving the ring,” Sonny said. She made an inarticulate noise of rage and elbowed him in retaliation.

“It’s weird either way,” Kyle said, nodding sagely. “That is distinctly ‘I-want-to-be-more-than-friends’ behavior.”

“It doesn’t have to be!” Sonny protested as Roku pinched the bridge of her nose in exasperation. “Can’t a homie give another homie a ring?”

“No?!” Kyle shot back, baffled.

Sonny scoffed, clearly disbelieving. “You’re saying you’d be like, ‘no thanks,’ if I gave you a ring?”

“Yes! Obviously!”

“Bruh!”

“Don’t ‘bruh’ me, it’s weird! Rings are for romantic declarations!”

“Nah, nah, you’re saying if all us zads got like, a gold ring to represent our brotherhood, it wouldn’t be sick?”

“That is clearly not what we’re talking about here.”

“Nah, nah, nah, because you can get class rings! And pro athletes get championship rings all the time!”

“Those are for achievements, you dummy. You don’t just give someone a ring just because!”

How was this her life? Roku reflected, a little helplessly, as she listened to two criminals debate the legitimacy of friendship rings. She’d brought this on herself.

“Alright, that’s enough,” she interrupted, putting Sonny into the car and making sure he didn’t bang his head on the way in.

“I’m not going with you?” asked Sonny.

“She probably doesn’t want Officer McCarthy to know what she was talking to us about,” Kyle said, smirking.

“There’s no ‘us,” because I wasn’t talking to you, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you.” She scowled at Kyle, then pointed a stern finger at the both of them. “We never had this conversation. You—” she pointed at Kyle, “—never heard anything. And you—” she pointed at Sonny, “—this is confidential information. Do you hear me?”

“Sure,” said Sonny breezily. She squinted at him, mistrustfully.

“I make no promises,” said Kyle.

She grunted in frustration and slammed the door shut. That smug, little—ugh! She stomped away, speaking into her radio. “Omi, I put Briscoops in with your perp, since you’re headed back to PD anyway.”

“10-4,” he responded.

“Also, Briscoops might’ve knocked his head when I took him down. If he says anything weird, it’s probably the concussion talking.”

“Uh, okay?”

“It might be contagious, so if Kyle Byfire says anything too, just ignore it.”

“Uhhh…yea, sure? Should I have EMS take a look at them?”

“Uh,” Roku hedged.

“This is 55, Luca Santos has been apprehended,” came Shelby’s voice over the comms, sounding slightly winded, but triumphant. Oh, thank god.

“Good man!” praised Chief. “Nice bloody work, all. As soon as EMS is done, let’s get them all to the precinct and processed. I’m very proud of each and every one of you. What’s EMS’s ETA?”

Roku sighed in relief as the conversation turned to discussing logistics. She opened the passenger door and slid into her seat. She leaned her head back, closing her eyes as she considered the information she’d received. The message continued to be…mixed. Sonny, who admittedly didn’t dislike her, essentially told her what Orly had; which was, once again, potentially biased information. Kyle, who didn’t like her and unfortunately therefore may have a point, seemed to be of the opinion that it was, in fact, weirdo behavior. Damn it. She covered her eyes with her hands miserably, blocking out the light.

She startled and sat up as she heard the driver side door open. “We’re not taking Briscoops in?” Chase asked, arching a brow at her as he started the car, then buckled himself in.

“No, I figured it’d be easier for Omi to take him in since he already had Kyle Byfire in his car. Plus, this way we can just get back out on patrol.”

Chase hummed. “Makes sense, I guess.” He paused and looked her over, brow furrowing. “You okay?”

She blinked at him. “Uh, yea, why?”

The corner of his mouth quirked, unhappily. “I dunno. You seem a little…” He made a vague gesture with his hand. “Plus, the whole ignoring the perps if they say something weird thing? What was that about?”

She froze, mind blank. “U-um.”

Chase’s face hardened. “Did one of them say something to you?” he asked, immediately unbuckling his seatbelt.

“No!” she said quickly, reaching out to grab his elbow when it looked like he was making to leave the car. “No, it’s…it was nothing. Please don’t worry about it.”

“Nana, if they said something to you—”

“They didn’t! Or—okay,” she conceded when Chase snorted in disbelief, “they might have said something, but nothing inappropriate or worth you getting involved over.”

“Then why are you upset?” Chase demanded.

“I’m—” she paused, cutting off the automatic denial, brain working frantically to come up with an explanation. “I’m more annoyed than upset,” she said eventually. She tightened her grip on his elbow when his green eyes flashed, clearly coming to his own conclusions about what had happened. “It wasn’t that bad,” she insisted. “They were just teasing and I’ve been having an off day, that’s it.”

“What about?” he ground out, his left hand still grasping the door handle.

She sighed. “What does everyone in this damn city tease us about?” There, that was plausible and kind of the truth.

Chase blinked, the fight melting out of him as he thought about it. He coughed, a little awkwardly. “Oh,” he said.

“Yea.”

“We did see Briscoops yesterday at the…”

“Yep.”

He cleared his throat, letting go of the door handle. She let go of his elbow in turn, no longer concerned that he would try to…defend her honor or whatever it was he’d been planning to do. (She felt a little warm, in spite of herself, at the display of protectiveness.)

“Uh…so,” he said, slowly buckling his seatbelt again. “You’re…okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” she said firmly.

He nodded, eyes fixed on the steering wheel. Instead of driving, they sat in silence for a little longer, until finally, he asked, “Are…are we good?”

Roku felt a pang of guilt. None of this was his fault—it was all her. Her and her insecure arse fumbling this friendship thing like you wouldn’t believe.

“We’re good,” she confirmed quietly.

He turned and looked at her, expression cautious, gauging her reaction. She wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but he nodded eventually and pulled out onto the road.

She breathed out, turning her gaze to the world outside. She needed to get a grip. She’d been going at this all wrong, trying to talk to people who knew her and had a vested interest in her reaction, whether positive or negative. She needed a truly objective perspective.

She pulled out her phone, bringing up her browser. Surely someone else on the internet had also gone through this exact situation. This had to be a friendship etiquette question that had been asked before.

Right?

The internet was not being particularly helpful. She’d done several searches with variations on the “can you give a friend a ring?” question in between visiting the mechanics to fix their vehicle, patrolling, responding to a shots fired call at the Pier (it’d been that damn shooting game again), and responding to an altercation between Lucky and some locals.

She felt she could safely discard all the articles from jewelry companies, who, of course, advised that it was totally normal to buy a friend a ring as a token of your friendship, here’s some examples of some rings you can purchase, blah blah.

There were several posts on a website called Seddit, which seemed to be an advice forum, that kind of resembled her situation? She saw some comments reassuring the writer that gifting friendship rings would be okay, but those usually involved two women. Unfortunately the ones involving people of different genders mostly seemed to be from men wanting to know if it was acceptable to give their female friend a ring, and further investigation usually revealed that the poster or OP had romantic intentions towards said female friend. It seemed obvious in these situations that it would not be okay to give that friend a ring.

There didn’t seem to be any posts about giving your co-worker/friend a ring with totally platonic intentions.

Roku huffed in frustration. She needed answers and the process to get questions answered on Seddit appeared to be to make a throwaway account in order to post somewhat anonymously. She hesitated briefly, before tapping the “sign-up” button and going through the set up and account verification process. Typing on a phone was incredibly annoying, but she grit her teeth through it as they drove Lucky to the hospital, Chase chatting idly with him while she tried to describe her predicament with enough context to be helpful without giving away too much identifying information. She hit the “post” button as they arrived at the hospital and sent Lucky off.

“You’ve been on your phone like, non-stop,” Chase observed as he guided their car out of the hospital parking lot. “What’s going on?”

“Just…checking in with informants, talking with Orly,” she said nonchalantly, fighting the urge to check her phone to see if there were any comments yet.

“Yea?” said Chase, looking both ways before pulling out onto the streets. “Anything we can move on?”

“Not yet. I think my drug dealer is still out of town,” she replied. Chase grunted in response, disappointed.

She was spared from further conversation when a call about a house burglary in Rockford Hills came in. The burglars appeared to be long gone by the time they arrived, which was apparently the theme of the day, but they made sure to enter the home and do a sweep just in case. She could feel her phone buzzing almost non-stop as she bagged likely evidence and took pictures. The homeowners arrived as she was clearing the second floor and she took the opportunity to sneak a look at her phone while Chase questioned them.

Her eyes widened. That was…a lot of notifications. Was that…bad? Or good? She resisted the temptation to check, shoving her phone back in her pocket and finishing up her sweep before joining Chase as he wrapped up with the owners. Chase gave them his contact information, encouraging them to send over a list of what they suspected was missing once they’d gone through their belongings, before bidding them farewell.

“Man, what a day,” said Chase, blowing out a raspberry as they got into their car.

Roku hummed in agreement, already pulling out her phone, impatient to check the comments.

“We should probably head back to PD,” said Chase, backing out of the driveway. “Process the evidence, write up reports, all that.”

“Mmhmm.” She opened up her post and scrolled down.

“We need gas too.”

“Sure, let’s do that,” she replied, absently, furrowing her brow as she started reading.

Oh.

Oh, it was bad.

Oh no, it was really bad.

The top comment said: “Girl, a RING????? For a co-worker you’ve known for less than 2 weeks????? WAY too much, WAY too fast. I don’t care how much ya’ll trauma bonded or whatever, that’s incredibly inappropriate and ESPECIALLY for a professional environment. If I were him, I’d report you to HR, that is INSANE.”

The reply under it said: “Seriously were they out of gift baskets?! Why not just a gift card or even a nice heartfelt letter? You could of just bought him lunch even! But a ring??? A RING??? OP you must be THIRSTY because there is no platonic explanation for this!!!”

She scrolled down, skimming, insides twisting with dread. Most of the comments fell along the same lines: lambasting her professionalism and judgment and calling into question her boundaries or lack thereof. Which…however hurtful wasn’t anything she hadn’t already been taken to task for (albeit for different reasons). Several of the comments were unnecessarily mean, diagnosing her with autism or some kind of personality disorder, which…yea, she knew she was traumatized but they didn’t know her! Where were their medical degrees and who did they think they were?!

Her post’s comment section had also apparently devolved into an ideological free-for-all for arguments. There was a several-comment-layer-deep debate about whether workplace relationships were a good idea and another about whether rings were inherently romantic/their meaning in different cultures that was, frankly, getting incredibly ugly (what did “Western cultural hegemony” even mean?).

And yet, she couldn’t help but keep scrolling, keep reading, despite the ice in her gut and the hollow feeling yawning in her chest. More comments about how didn’t she know how this would look? More comments about how she was trying to force an intimacy she wasn’t entitled to on a poor, unsuspecting coworker who was probably trying to figure out how to get away from her gracefully. More comments suggesting she was unwell mentally and needed to see a therapist.

Which wasn’t to say there weren’t some comments trying to take her in good faith. But even then they were essentially saying the same things, just…with less vitriol. Instead of telling her she was a “red flag with poor boundaries” they gently suggested that she’d mistaken a compassionate ear during an emotionally vulnerable conversation to mean that there was a deeper connection than what actually existed.

Dimly, she became aware that the car had stopped moving. She blinked, looking up, as Chase got out of the car.

Oh. They’d made it to the petrol station.

With nerveless fingers, she turned off her phone and put it away, staring unseeingly out of the windshield.

So, in summary:

• A ring was categorically a bad idea between people who could potentially be romantically interested in each other.
• She was, in fact, an antisocial weirdo who didn’t understand personal or professional boundaries and what real friends should or shouldn’t do
• Chase almost certainly understood this was antisocial weirdo behavior, but because he knew her backstory for why she was an antisocial weirdo, he didn’t tell her a ring was a weird gift to give because he felt bad for her and he probably wasn’t wearing it because he didn’t want to have to awkwardly explain to anyone why he suddenly had a ring on account of it being a weird gift from a weird person and oh god, she was going to be sick.

Roku leaned forward, bracing her arms against the dashboard and ducking her head, trying not to hurl. She could feel her heartbeat in her face, hear it pounding in her ears. The ice in her gut had spread down her spine, out to her extremities, and she fought the urge to shiver, feeling flayed and exposed, like a raw nerve. Anxiety and shame curdled her stomach, tightened her chest until it was hard to breathe. She was so stupid. So stupid.

“Nana? Nana, what’s wrong?” Chase’s voice was distant, muffled under her pulse in her ears, but even so, she could hear the panic in it. She felt his hand on her left shoulder, shaking her. “Nana, talk to me!”

God, she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t face him. She curled into herself tighter, like a coward, swallowing down bile and recrimination.

She heard him mutter a curse, felt him let go of her shoulder, and exit the car. A few seconds later, her door opened and she flinched, full-body, wanting to hide but having nowhere to go.

“Nana, come on, talk to me,” he pleaded, putting one hand on her knee, the other rubbing her back. “Are you sick? Are you hurt? What’s wrong?”

“...feel like’m gonna throw up,” she mumbled, knowing he wouldn’t give up unless she told him something.

“Okay…okay, can you sit up? Come on,” he coaxed, gently pushing at her until she leaned back against the seat. Her brain was screaming at her to resist, but the feral, unloved thing inside of her keened and simpered, wanting only to lean into him, keep his hands on her, and it won.

She reluctantly met his worried gaze as he cupped the side of her neck, urging her to turn towards him. He hissed, brushing her hair out of her face. “You’re so pale,” he muttered, pulling a glove off so he could feel her forehead with his bare hand. She fought back a whimper at the feel of his palm on her clammy skin, dry and warm and slightly callused; the creature inside of her craved more, missing him when he pulled his hand away.

“I don’t think you have a fever,” he said, frowning. Then his eyes widened. “When’s the last time you ate?” he asked, even as he pulled his phone out to check the time. He didn’t wait for her answer, just cursed and pocketed it again. “Sit tight,” he ordered, turning and sprinting into the petrol station mart.

She closed her eyes and waited, trying to breathe through the panic and the nausea. She probably did need to eat, but food was absolutely the last thing she wanted right now.

Minutes later she could hear him returning, opening her eyes to watch him approach at a jog with protein bars and a sports drink. “Eat,” he urged, pressing one of the bars into her shaking hands.

“I can’t,” she protested weakly, trying to pass the bar back to him.

“You have to eat,” he insisted, refusing to take it back. “Or you’re gonna pass out.”

She shook her head, stubborn. “I’ll just throw it up.”

His mouth twisted unhappily and he breathed out hard through his nose in frustration. “Fine,” he bit out. “I’ll take you to the hospital then, maybe they can fix whatever’s wrong while you’re passed out.”

Oh, god damn it. “I don’t need the hospital,” she argued. There was nothing they could do for her, not for this.

He shot her a disbelieving look. “Yes, you do,” he ground out. “Something is clearly wrong, let them check you out.”

“Ugh, fine! I’ll eat!” she snapped, trying to tear open the wrapper. Infuriating man! It would serve him right if she threw up all over this car and why wouldn’t this stupid thing open?

He sighed and grabbed it out of her hands, tearing it open and folding down the top half of the wrapper before passing it back to her. He watched her, eagle-eyed, as she resentfully bit into the bar. It was almost sickeningly sweet, dense and sticky, and she chewed it with effort, making herself swallow and praying it wouldn’t make a forceful re-entry into the world. He continued watching her eat with intense focus, and only got up after she’d gotten half of it down, closing her door and getting back into the driver’s seat. He finished his own bar long before she managed to choke the rest of hers down and passed her the sports drink he’d already opened for her.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, when she’d gotten most of the drink into her.

She took stock of herself. She did feel…less shaky. She swore she could feel the protein bar, sitting heavy in her stomach, and while she didn’t feel comfortable exactly, she at least didn’t feel she was in danger of actively throwing up. There was nothing a protein bar and electrolytes could fix about the intense shame and embarrassment that still plagued her, however.

“Better,” she admitted, a little petulant.

His jaw worked as he watched her in silence for a few seconds, as if trying to decide if he believed her, before he turned to buckle himself in. “I still think you should go to the hospital,” he said, starting the car.

She sighed. “I’m fine now, you were right, I just needed to eat.”

He shook his head as he pulled out into the streets. “Something’s not right. It’ll take the docs like, two minutes to check you out—”

“There’s no point in wasting EMS’s valuable time,” she insisted, knowing they wouldn’t find anything wrong with her (except for whatever was wrong in her head. Maybe she did need Dr. Ashe, but she wasn’t up to therapy today.) “I just…I think there’s been too much excitement. Just take me back to PD and I promise I’ll take it easy and do boring paperwork for the rest of the day.”

He made grumbling noises of disapproval but turned the car down the familiar route towards the precinct. “Maybe we should drop by the drug store instead,” he suggested. “Maybe you need an antacid. Or a Pepto.”

Roku struggled internally for a moment. On the one hand, she wanted him to just leave her alone to lick her wounds. On the other hand, the needy creature in her loved being the center of his attention, all the ways he was doting on her. Stop that, she scolded. It was a creature of pure emotion; it didn’t understand how humiliating it was, how that attention was almost, but not quite what she…they wanted.

“It’s fine,” she said finally. “Maybe later, if I’m still not feeling well.”

“Or,” he countered, “we go now so we already have it in case you need it later.”

“The precinct is literally right around the corner,” she said, gesturing in its direction.

“Fine, fine,” he groused, and made the turn.

She leaned back in her seat, relieved. All she had to do was get through a few more hours of boring busywork where she could mostly turn her brain off and not think. And then she could go home and wallow in peace.

Chase hovered the entire walk into the PD, as if she needed his close supervision just to make it to her desk, and she both hated and loved it. Then he insisted she sit down while he took care of running all their evidence to the lab. At that point she didn’t even care how patronizing it felt, she was just glad to have some time to herself and didn’t bother protesting.

Out of habit, she pulled her phone out of her pocket, intending to charge it, then remembered she’d shut it off entirely before her freak out. She hesitated for a second before turning it back on, watching in trepidation as it went through its boot-up sequence. It started buzzing non-stop once her home screen loaded, as notification after notification alerted.

She should have ignored it. She knew there was no good reason to subject herself to the comments again, but she looked anyway, driven by…masochism? Morbid curiosity?

It was more of the same, with varying levels of vitriol. And there weren’t just comments. There were private messages now and some of those were even more vile. Even as she wondered what reason anyone could have to berate and degrade her about something that had nothing at all to do with them, an ugly voice inside of her whispered to her that they were right.

It was a familiar voice, one she’d been hearing her whole life. It reminded her that there was a reason her mother had left her, that there was a reason why no one loved her, why no one ever stayed. She always said the wrong thing, did the wrong thing. She was too angry, too cold, too hard, too judgmental. She’d driven away every one who’d ever mattered to her, was this all so surprising?

She stood abruptly, feeling the bile rising in her throat again, her seat rolling back with a sound that startled Valentina, who’d been working at her desk nearby.

“Are you okay?” Valentina asked, looking worried.

Roku swallowed convulsively a few times, nodding jerkily. “I…bathroom, sorry,” she croaked, before turning tail and practically sprinting down to the ladies’ room. She stumbled into the last stall, fumbling the latch closed, and sat on the toilet, resting her elbows on her knees and clutching her head as she tried not to burst into tears or puke. Her phone buzzed against her scalp and she jumped. She didn’t bother to see what the alert was for, shakily setting her phone to “do not disturb” mode.

No more notifications. No more. She just…needed a moment.

She didn’t know how much time had passed while she sat, miserable and trying to get a grip on herself, before she heard the restroom door swing open and footsteps enter. She held her breath, hoping whoever it was would do their business quickly and leave.

“Nana?” came a tentative voice. It was Valentina. “Are you here?”

Roku hesitated before answering, “Yea, I’m here.”

The footsteps came closer. “Are you feeling okay?” she heard Misty ask, as they stopped just outside her stall.

“I—I’m fine,” she stuttered, and winced at how obviously not-okay her voice sounded.

The silence that followed was loaded and she could imagine the significant looks Valentina and Misty were giving each other.

“Well…if you’re fine, you might want to let McCarthy know. He was kind of freaking out about not being able to find you and not being able to reach you on your phone?” said Misty, her tone careful.

“I let him know you said you were going to the bathroom, but, yea…” Valentina added.

Roku cursed inwardly and unlocked her phone. Sure enough, she had 4 missed call notifications and several text messages.

C.C
where did you go?

hello???

is your phone dead??

nana pick up

valentina says you’re in the bathroom?
are you sick again??

i’m sending valentina and misty down

Roku let out a quiet groan and quickly tapped out a response.

NS
I’m sorry, I forgot I put my phone on
dnd. I just thought I might throw up
again

I’m so sorry,” she said to Misty and Valentina as she was typing. “I’ll let him know I’m okay. I didn’t mean to inconvenience you, you can go back to work.”

Almost immediately she got a response from Chase.

C.C
not to say i told you so but i TOLD
you

i’m going to the drug store rn

She sighed, knowing there was no point in stopping him, and just tapped the thumbs up react.

“It’s not an inconvenience!” Misty insisted. “Is there anything we can do? Get you a ginger ale from the vending machine, maybe?”

Roku covered her eyes with a hand. Why couldn’t she be a better liar? Was everyone just going to hover now? God. “No. No, it’s okay.”

Instead of accepting that she was fine and leaving her alone, Valentina said, “Nana? Can you come out and talk?”

She froze. “...what about?” she asked cautiously.

“Well,” said Valentina, after a deliberate breath. “You seemed…really distressed before you came down here and I noticed you’d been looking at your phone just before that. And Chase might have mentioned you’ve been really off all day and that you’ve been spending a lot of time on your phone. So…”

This was the problem when your friends were detectives. It was really hard to put anything past them. But…what was left to talk about? She’d been talking it out all day. She was all talked out.

The old Roku Nana would’ve been snapping at them to leave her alone already. She could feel the feral thing inside of her, bristling in defensiveness, and fought it back. She wasn’t that person anymore and Misty and Valentina didn’t deserve it.

“Thank you,” she said haltingly, “for trying to help, but I…I don’t think I want to talk about it. I’ve been doing it all day and I don’t think it’s helped. Or…maybe it’s more like what I’ve heard has been…maybe I needed to hear it but...it’s been hard.”

Another pregnant pause. “Okay,” said Misty. “But honey, what I’m hearing is that you’re not okay. And if it’s so bad that you’re hiding in the bathroom and feeling sick about it…”

“Like, have we considered that you’ve been getting bad advice?” Valentina put in. “Who have you been talking to?”

“Just…Orly. And some other people I know,” Roku said vaguely.

“And not McCarthy?” asked Misty.

“No,” said Roku, entirely too forcefully. She cleared her throat, embarrassed. “I mean…I can’t talk to him about this.”

“Why not?”

“Because—” Roku started, then stopped, not knowing how to explain herself.

“...because it’s about him?” asked Valentina gently.

Roku crumpled in on herself a little, covering her face with her hands. “Maybe?” she admitted, miserably and slightly muffled.

“Come out, sweetheart,” said Misty, coaxing. “Let us help, we’re your family.”

Humiliatingly, Roku could feel herself tearing up again. “I can’t,” she bemoaned. “It’s so…pathetic and embarrassing.”

Misty and Valentina both made sounds of protest.

“Nooo, I’m sure it’s not,” Misty soothed.

“We promise not to judge!” said Valentina.

Roku took a shaky breath, pressing the heels of her palms against her eyes, trying to will the tears back. After another deep breath, she reluctantly stood up and unlocked the stall door.

Misty made a sympathetic noise when she saw Roku’s face. “Oh, honey, can I give you a hug?” she asked.

Roku stepped forward, wordlessly, and Misty wrapped her arms around her, Valentina embracing her from the other side.

The door to the bathroom opened and Justine and Aurora entered, looking around curiously.

“Hellooo, is someone having hot girl tummy—oh, uh…is everything okay?” Justine asked, sounding thrown.

Roku froze, still sandwiched inside the group hug. Misty patted her on the back reassuringly.

“Nana’s having a bit of a tough time is all,” she explained.

“What’s going on?” said Aurora, walking over with Justine in tow. “McCarthy asked us to check up on you guys?”

Roku groaned internally. God, more witnesses to her humiliation. She wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

“Well, we’re hoping Nana will tell us,” said Misty, pulling out of the hug. Valentina let go too, but stayed by Roku’s side, leaving a comforting hand on her back.

Roku scrubbed her face with her hands, trying to figure out how to start. The problem was…she couldn’t phrase it like a hypothetical because it would be obvious to everyone that it wasn’t, but given the reaction from Seddit…she felt too ashamed to even say it out loud.

Although, now that she thought about it…did she even need to say it out loud?

She unlocked her phone, opening up her Seddit post and, face burning, passed it to Misty.

Misty took it with a curious look and Aurora, Justine and Valentina crowded around her to read. Misty mumbled the words just under her breath as she scrolled, brows furrowing as she got further down.

“You bought him a ring?!” Justine burst out, flabbergasted. “Girl, that is crazy work.”

“Justine!” Misty scolded, as Valentina shushed her with a hiss. Roku flushed even deeper, crossing her arms defensively.

“What? It is! Ow!” Justine complained as Aurora elbowed her.

“Okay, but it’s McCarthy and he likes her crazy, so I think it’s fine!” said Aurora.

“Neither of you are being helpful right now!” Misty snapped. “This is a no judgment zone!”

“Sorry,” said Justine, sheepish. “I mean…I didn’t necessarily mean it in like, a slash /derogatory way! Just…that’s wild! Why not, like, a watch or something?”

Oh my god…a watch would have been a better gift, wouldn’t it? Roku buried her face in her hands despairingly.

Misty gasped. “Oh my goodness gracious, why are people so mean?! Nana, is this what you’ve been reading all day?”

“God damn, they are cooking you in these comments,” said Justine. “Oh, okay, that one was just unnecessary, like chill, dude.”

“Okay, that’s enough. Nana, I’m just going to delete this post and your throwaway account,” Valentina said, decisively. “You don’t need any of this in your life.”

Roku shuffled backwards until she felt the wall against her back, then slid down to sit on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest.

“Oh, Nana,” Misty sighed, sitting next to her and rubbing her shoulder soothingly. “Don’t listen to anything those people have to say! They don’t know the first thing about you or Chase.”

“No, but they’re right,” Roku insisted, eyesight blurring with unshed tears. “Justine said it too. The ring…it’s weird! It was stupid!”

“Look what you’ve done!” She heard Aurora hiss to Justine quietly.

“Well I didn’t mean it the way the comments meant it!”

“I wouldn’t call it weird,” said Misty, “just…unexpected.” Which, as far as Roku was concerned, was just another word for “weird.”

“Nana,” said Valentina, coming to sit on Roku’s other side and passing the phone back. “Why did you choose a ring?”

“I—I don’t know, it just made sense! At the time!” Roku said, helplessly. “I saw someone advertising their jewelry business on Birdy and when I got there, none of the necklaces were right, none of the earrings were masculine enough, none of the bracelets seemed suitable…but the rings seemed like something he’d wear!”

“And…it didn’t occur to you that it might seem kind of…matrimonial?” Aurora asked.

“Well, not when I was buying it! But…” she hunched in on herself, “...it may have occurred to us…when I gave it to him…”

“What did he say?” Justine asked, with avid curiosity. Aurora, Misty and Valentina all leaned in as well, waiting for Roku’s response.

God, her face felt so hot she probably could have cooked an egg on it. “Uh…um…,” she stuttered. “We…um, we might have…exchanged fake wedding vows?”

The silence that followed this pronouncement was incredulous. Roku didn’t dare look up at their faces.

“How…do you have fake wedding vows?” asked Valentina.

Roku picked at an infinitesimal piece of lint on her pants. “You know,” she mumbled. “Just making up vows but without any kind of official around to witness it? Because it’s just a joke?”

“Right, because I make jokes about marrying my partner all the time,” said Aurora, deadpan.

“I mean…” said Justine.

“Okay, but I wasn’t making those jokes, that was everyone else!” Aurora retorted. “And anyway, he immediately transferred to the other side of the country, so...”

“Let’s get back on track,” said Valentina. “So…you gave him a ring. You both threw yourselves a fake wedding—”

“That’s not really what happened—”

“And we’re freaking out about whether it’s weird to give a ring to a guy who agreed to exchange fake vows with you because…?”

“Because he’s not wearing it!” Roku burst out, then clamped her mouth shut, mortified.

“...okay? Um…did you ask him why he wasn’t wearing it?” Misty asked, delicately.

“How could I?” Roku groaned. “It’s so…needy and pathetic to be like, ‘hey, why aren’t you wearing the gift I bought you?’, isn’t it? And now I know it was massively weird to do it in the first place! So like, it would be so awkward to put him in a position where he has to come up with some excuse as to why he’s not wearing the weird gift I gave him because he feels bad for me and doesn’t want to hurt my feelings!”

“I’m going to be so honest, I don’t think he thinks it’s weird,” said Justine. “In fact, I’m pretty sure he’s decided you’re married for real. You literally put a ring on it and he’s up there right now, worrying his little head about his wife who he thinks is sick—”

“Then why isn’t he wearing it?!” Roku demanded again, in frustrated disbelief.

“Maybe he’s worried about damaging it?” Misty offered. “Especially given our line of work.”

“Yea!” Aurora agreed. “He might just be keeping it somewhere safe.”

“Also, I really don’t think Chase could ever think meanly of you,” said Valentina, frowning.

“It’s not that I think he’s going to be mean,” Roku argued. “That’s not what I’m worried about. It’s…” she trailed off, struggling to put it into words.

“No, I heard you the first time,” said Misty. “You said you don’t want his pity.”

“Yes.”

“I don’t get it,” Justine complained, wrinkling her nose. “So you did something a little cringe! And sure, maybe it feels awkward but…” Justine shrugged. “I mean, isn’t that the point of it all? Don’t we want someone to stick around even when we embarrass ourselves? I don’t think that’s pity. That’s just part of being human.”

Roku ground her teeth in frustration. “It’s not…that’s not what it is!”

“Well, what is it then?” asked Justine, baffled.

“It’s because he knows!” Roku exploded, her voice echoing off the tiles of the restroom, her chest heaving and eyes stinging. “He knows I’m…I’m broken. That I don’t know how to be a person or—or relate to people normally! He knows that I’m—” her voice cracked, catching on a sob, “I’m unlovable and that no one in my life has ever stayed and so…even if he hates the ring, he’d never tell me! And he’d think he was being kind but it…the idea of it kills me. And—” she shoved a hand over her mouth to muffle her sobs, unable to continue.

“Nana!” Misty cried in dismay, throwing an arm over her shoulders and pulling her in, trying to comfort her. “What are you talking about? None of that is true about you!”

Roku shook her head. She didn’t understand. None of them understood.

“Nana.” Valentina crouched in front of her, grabbing the tops of her knees and squeezing reassuringly. “I don’t know what you’ve been through,” she said, voice shaking a little. “I can make a guess, based on your scars but…that’s your business, and if you ever want to tell us, we’ll listen. But Nana, you are so loved. By us, the rest of the LSPD, Orly…and I promise you, we’re here to stay.”

“And with the way this man is blowing up my phone right now? Asking for updates on how you’re doing?” Aurora said fiercely, waving her phone with a screen full of text notifications at Roku. “This is not the way a man who’s only sticking around because he feels sorry for you acts! Give McCarthy some credit.”

“Should I…should I go get him?” Justine asked, looking freaked out. “I feel like maybe—”

“No!” Roku shook her head violently. “No, I don’t want him to see.”

“Okay, okay,” Justine soothed, lifting up both hands defensively. “But um…he definitely knows something is up and…I don’t know, you might want to think about what you want to tell him.”

“Honey, I think you just need to be honest with him,” said Misty, stroking Roku’s hair. “Because what’s the alternative? Are you just gonna keep carrying this around, doubting his intentions or what he’s really thinking about you? That’s no way to live. That’s not fair to you or him.”

“I’m scared to,” Roku gasped out between sobs.

“I know,” said Valentina sympathetically. “But listen to me…I know maybe those people on Seddit got into your head and maybe reinforced some ideas that you’ve been struggling with. But maybe trust us, the people who know you two the best. I would literally bet a million dollars right now that he doesn’t hate the ring or secretly pity you or whatever.” She jogged Roku’s knee to emphasize her point, locking eyes with her.

“You do yourself a disservice by jumping to the worst possible conclusions when there are perfectly reasonable explanations for the things you’re worried about. You don’t know that he hates the ring. All you know is that he’s not wearing it, and like we said before, there are so many innocent reasons for him not to wear it: he’s worried it’ll get damaged, maybe he doesn’t want us to tease you guys for it, maybe he just forgot because he doesn’t normally wear rings. But you don’t know until you ask.”

Roku hiccuped disconsolately against Misty’s shoulder, wiping at her cheeks with her hands. Even as the creature inside of her howled and wailed, convinced that everything was ruined forever, Roku couldn’t help but see the sense in Misty and Valentina’s words. It didn’t make the prospect of having to have a conversation with Chase any less daunting, though.

It sent a spike of guilt through her, as she remembered the promise she’d made to him about not keeping her guard up around him anymore. Look how long that resolution had lasted, she thought bitterly.

“Are you feeling a little better?” asked Misty, rubbing Roku’s back.

Roku sniffed. “I don’t know about ‘better’,” she croaked, “but I feel a little calmer.”

“Well, that’s a start,” Valentina said encouragingly.

“Come on, let’s get up off this floor,” Misty said briskly, giving Roku’s shoulder a squeeze before standing up, holding out a hand to help her up.

Valentina threw her arms around Roku in a tight hug as soon as she was standing and held on. “Everything’s going to be okay,” she murmured in Roku’s ear. “And no matter what happens, I have your back.”

“Do not make me cry again,” Roku warned, eyes stinging, voice still a little waterlogged. She squeezed Valentina back, gratefully.

“Group hug!” Justine cheered, throwing her arms around them. Misty and Aurora joined in, laughing, and for the first time in several hours, Roku genuinely felt like…things might be okay.

She’d girded her loins, prepared to face the music with Chase as they returned to their desks. Instead, she was granted a temporary reprieve as they were greeted with an empty bullpen. According to Justine, who’d still had her radio on while they were down in the bathroom, the rest of the PD had responded to a robbery by the Aura gang.

There was a plastic bag on her desk when she got to it. Confused, she opened it and found a truly ridiculous number of medications to combat nausea and alleviate gastrointestinal issues. “Oh…my god,” Roku muttered to herself as she pulled out her phone to check her messages.

Valentina came up next to her, curious, poking through the bag herself. “Oh my god,” she echoed. “Was this…Chase?”

“Uh-huh,” Roku confirmed absently, opening up her message app.

“Did he just go down the aisle and buy one of everything?”

“Probably,” said Roku, sighing. She opened up their text conversation:

C.C
i’m back. left you some meds on your
desk

everything okay?

let me know when you’re done

have to go respond to a robbery

don’t leave without me. we need to
talk

Roku closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath and letting it out. She typed back an “I won’t,” turned off “do not disturb” mode, and plugged in her phone to charge. She sat down and was about to set to work, writing up her reports, when she heard a camera shutter sound. She spun in her seat, looking at Valentina who was typing on her phone.

“Did you…take a photo of me?”

“No,” said Valentina, a little too innocently. She put her phone away and smiled at Roku. “Good luck with your reports,” she chirped, and sauntered away.

Roku watched her walk off with suspicion. And then her phone vibrated. Then vibrated again. And again. She snatched up her phone, finding multiple notifications for a…LADIES OF LSPD group chat? Since when did they have a group chat? She tapped the notification.

LADIES OF LSPD GROUP CHAT

Valentina
[IMG2039.JPG]

Look what Chase left on Nana’s desk! 🤭

Misty
!! Oh that’s boyfriend material! 😍

Claire
???????

Aurora
wait that’s SO HUSBAND-CODED

Claire
I think I’m missing something…

Oh god. “Valentina, you snitch,” Roku hissed under her breath.

NS
STOP

Adler
Why am I in this group chat??

Justine
GET YOU A MAN THAT’LL BUY YOU
MEDICINE FOR YOUR HOT GIRL
TUMMY ISSUES WITHOUT NEEDING
TO BE ASKED

Claire
Oooohhhh, I’m connecting the dots…😏

Misty
@Adler YOU’LL ALWAYS BE OUR
CAPTAIN!!

Adler
🧡

I’m also connecting the dots… 👀

Even Adler was in this chat?! And what dots??

NS
STOOOOOOOOOP IT’S NOT WHAT
YOU THINK

Muscat
HAVE THERE BEEN ROKUCHASE
DEVELOPMENTS????? NOOOOOO
WHY ON MY DAY OFF??? 😭😭

MY SHOW!!

Aurora
GIRL YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE

Lexi
i want to know the tea!! SOMEONE
SPILL

Lucy
Wait me too!!!!! Tell me!!!

Oh for the love of—was everyone here and chatting?! Ugh, she couldn’t read this, she had actual work to do.

NS
I AM MUTING THIS GROUP CHAT
GOOD BYE

Grumbling, she muted the chat and opened up her text conversation with Valentina:

NS
TRAITOR

Valentina
😇

It was cute! I had to share! 😊

NS
Do NOT spill ANY tea!

Valentina
I promise not to betray any confidences!

But the people yearn for rokuchase
crumbs!

NS
😤

The ring stays a secret!

Valentina
Of course! 🫡

Roku rolled her eyes, setting her phone face down on her desk, and started writing up her first report, the sounds of her irritated typing carrying in the empty space. After a few minutes, she also turned her radio back on. It’d be useful to know when they were on their way back, so she could prepare herself accordingly.

It had been about 15 minutes now since they’d radioed that they were on their way back, and Roku had been keeping one eye on the hallway to the stairs ever since. Misty, Justine and Aurora were huddled around Valentina at her desk, “just chatting,” but Roku knew they were mainly there to rubberneck. Maybe for emotional support? But mainly to be busybodies, she was sure.

Dweemer was the first one to make it back. “Hiii, Officer Nana,” he called cheerfully. “I hope you’re feeling better?”

“Thanks, Dweemer, I’m okay,” Roku responded fondly. She flicked her eyes towards the hallway, trying to see if Chase was behind him.

“The bathrooms here are a good place to take a poop if you need to,” said Dweemer sagely. “I would know.”

“O-oh.”

He gave her a wave and trotted off. She shook her head, chuckling to herself. Classic Dweemer.

Omi walked in with Claire and Musashi, and they stopped by her desk as well to check in on her, Claire’s eyes sparkling at her knowingly as she reassured them she was feeling much better. She was starting to feel slightly flustered by all the attention.

Regal, thankfully, only offered a general greeting to the room before heading to his office, but Chief Serpico asked after her with real concern, and was in the middle of telling her about a honey ginger lemon tea his wife used to brew when Alice was feeling poorly when Chase arrived.

“Hey 67,” he said, expression inscrutably neutral, as she started, caught off-guard.

“Ah, Detective,” said Chief, over her stuttered-out attempts at a greeting. “Take our girl home, huh? Make sure she gets some rest.”

“Sure thing, Chief,” he said.

“Oh, um, I was still working on—” Roku began, gesturing weakly at her screen.

Chief waved away her protests. “Finish it tomorrow. You’re relieved of duty, Detective.” He patted her on her shoulder paternally before walking away, leaving her alone with Chase—and the avid audience she could see watching them out of the corner of her eye.

“Let’s go,” he said, jerking his head towards the stairs.

Deflating, she closed down her computer and gathered her belongings, following him down to the garage. She looked back nervously at the girls before she left and they sent her encouraging waves and thumbs-ups.

Chase was unnervingly silent the entire trip to the garage. She kept her own mouth shut, not even knowing where to start with the conversation and unable to read his mood. The creature inside of her paced anxiously. Was he…angry? Disappointed? Both? She imagined both…

He’d brought Parker today and she got into the passenger seat meekly. She was unsurprised when she saw him fiddling with the GPS; she’d assumed it wouldn’t be a straightforward ride back to the apartments.

He took a deep audible breath before starting the car and heading out of the garage. “So,” he said at last, as they waited for the garage door to open. “You ready to talk to me yet?”

She looked down at her lap, fiddling with her fingers. “Yes…” she replied, glumly.

He grunted. “Okay, then…so what’s been going on with you today, huh?”

“I…I, um.”

“You mad at me or something?”

“No!” she protested, then, at the disbelieving noise he made, “I mean, maybe a little, earlier, but it…it wasn’t really at you.”

“Giving me mixed signals here, Roku Nana.”

“I—” she blew out a breath, rubbing at her eyes with the heels of her palms as she scrambled to find the words to describe the tangled mess that was her thoughts. “I’ve just been feeling…a little insecure. And I was taking it out on you at first—I know you noticed—but...I was really mad at myself. None of it was your fault and I’m sorry for it.”

Chase paused, then nodded. “Okay, forgiven. What were you feeling insecure about?”

“I was…having second thoughts. About the ring.”

The car jerked and weaved for a second as Chase whipped his head around to look at her. He muttered a curse and the ride smoothed out, his gaze returning to the road ahead of them. “Sorry, I—the ring? What, you…do you regret giving it to me or—?”

“I wouldn’t say regret,” she hurried to explain, unclenching her hand from the door handle, which she’d grabbed reflexively. “I was second-guessing myself, is all.”

“Why?” asked Chase, sounding baffled.

She looked at him, equally baffled. “Because you’re not wearing it?”

“Is that what this is about?!” he asked, incredulous.

“Yes!” she burst out, actually a little irritated now.

“And you couldn’t just ask me because—?”

“Because that’s so…pathetic!” she spluttered. “People in my family did that to me all the time growing up. They’d buy me things I hated because they didn’t know me at all and then they’d get mad if I didn’t sound grateful enough or I didn’t wear it or use it the next time they saw me and…I didn’t want to do that to you!”

“I—okay, I get that but—”

“And if it was because you didn’t like it, I didn’t want to make it awkward by making you have to come up with an excuse for why you weren’t wearing it!”

“But why would you assume I didn’t like it?” Chase demanded, frustrated. “Did I…did I do something yesterday to make you feel that way?”

“...no,” she was forced to admit. When he made a wordless gesture that clearly communicated “okay and so??” she continued, “I don’t know! I just got…thrown a little when I saw you weren’t wearing it and then I got in my own head about it so…I went looking for some other perspectives because I couldn’t trust myself! I needed to know if I’d done something wrong!”

“Who did you even—wait, is that what you were talking to Orly about?”

“Yes! I figured she’d be a good person to ask because she knows us and she doesn’t live here anymore so in case it turned out I was a weirdo, I wouldn’t have to look her in the face.”

“Did she call you a weirdo?!”

“No, she thought it was cute. But that was how I knew it was a mistake because of course she’d say that! She’s my friend and she likes us together so she’s biased!”

Chase groaned. “Nana…”

“And so obviously I needed to talk to someone who didn’t like me and wouldn’t try to protect my feelings!”

There was an ominous silence as Chase digested this. “Nana…do not tell me you talked to Sonny Briscoops about this.”

“Well…”

“Nana!”

“He’s one of my informants! And he was right there. It made sense!”

“Oh my god…” He sounded like he was actually in pain.

“And he said it wasn’t weird if you were ‘homies’ but he doesn’t actually hate me anyway, so I'm not sure if I’d be inclined to believe him. And then Kyle Byfire—”

“Kyle Byfire knows about this too?!”

“Well, I wasn’t talking to him,” she said, feeling annoyed about it all over again. “He happened to overhear and kept giving his opinion even though I didn’t ask! But he actually doesn’t like me and he said it was weird. So there were mixed messages!”

“Nana…”

But at this point she was on a roll, “And so I realized that my mistake was trying to talk to people who were biased in one way or another. The ones who liked me would sugarcoat their opinions and the ones who didn’t like me might be trying to make me feel bad on purpose so…” she took a deep breath and continued, “I decided what I really needed was a completely objective opinion.”

They slowed down to wait to merge at a yield sign, and she could feel the suspicious look Chase was giving her, boring into the side of her head. “...and who was this completely objective opinion?”

She became deeply engrossed in picking at the skin around her thumbnail as Chase merged into traffic. “...Seddit,” she mumbled.

“Seddit?!” Chase practically yelled, aghast.

“Well, I was trying to search for anyone who was in a similar situation and there wasn’t anything really equivalent and it seemed a lot of people asking were getting advice from Seddit!”

“You asked Seddit?” Chase repeated in disbelief, as if he hadn’t heard her.

“They were really mean,” she admitted in a small voice.

“Yea, because it’s Seddit,” Chase cried. “It’s a cesspool. I—” he cut himself off, frustrated. “I’m sorry I need to pull over.” He did just that, hitting the hazard lights. He unbuckled his seatbelt so he could turn in his seat and give her his full, infuriated attention. “What terrible advice did they give you?”

She hunched in her seat, miserably. “They said I was unprofessional and a red flag with boundary issues and that I should be reported to HR and that I probably made you really uncomfortable and you were probably trying to think of a way to get away from me—”

“And you believed them?”

She swallowed around the lump in her throat. “I mean…maybe a little? They might have had a few points…”

He dragged his hands down his face, breathing audibly through his nose and out through his mouth. “Nana,” he said, his voice tightly controlled, “is this why you were freaking out at the gas station?”

She nodded despondently.

“Nana, why didn’t you just ask me?!”

“I just told you why!” She winced internally, not loving how whiny she sounded.

“Yea, I was there for the part in this conversation where you talked about how you asked everyone in the world except the person whose opinion actually matters,” he shot back heatedly. “I’m not buying it, Roku Nana! Did you think I would lie to you?”

“Yea, maybe!”

“Why would I—”

“Because you feel bad for me!” she cried, interrupting him, finally unable to hold back the wounded unloved thing inside of her. “Because you know that I’m—I’m broken and I have mommy and daddy issues and I don’t know how to—to be a normal person!”

“Nana,” he began, and he sounded so…so shocked and sad and she couldn’t bear it. Humiliated tears sprang in her eyes.

“I know, okay?! I know I'm hard to love! No one has ever stayed and it’s for a reason! I don’t know how to…to do friendship—”

“Nana—”

“—and I do the wrong thing all the time and push people away. And I—”

“Rikka, stop!”

She snapped her mouth shut, mortified, still fighting back tears.

“Rikka, look at me.”

It was so unfair for him to use that name in this moment. She had no defenses against it. Reluctantly, she met his eyes.

“I don’t think any of those things about you,” he said fiercely. He held up his hand when she opened her mouth to protest, “No, just listen to me. You think you’re broken? Yea? So am I!” He spread his arms wide in emphasis. “You have mommy and daddy issues? Same! You push people away? Maybe at first, but I didn’t give up and that’s not you anymore! Hell, I shut down on you and you didn’t stop trying either!” He swallowed, and continued, his voice quieter now, but no less insistent.

“There is nothing you have told me about yourself that I haven’t related to in some way. And there’s nothing about you that makes me pity you. I…do you even know how strong you are? Can you even see how much you’ve grown?” he implored, eyes beseeching.

She couldn’t look away, desperately wanting to believe him even as that ugly voice in her head insisted he was wrong, that he wouldn’t be saying this if he really knew her.

“I know that I haven’t always been…truthful with you. Like about Parker, and why I didn’t like smoke. But that was me protecting myself. And it’s not like I just blindly agree with you either. When have I ever not spoken up if I didn’t agree with something you said? Or if I didn’t like something you did?” He arched an eyebrow at her, daring her to disagree. Which she couldn’t, because that was something she liked about him, that they could actually talk if they didn’t see eye-to-eye.

“Exactly,” he said, when she dropped her gaze from his, wordlessly conceding the point. “I’m a grown ass man. If I don’t like something, I promise I’ll tell you.” He reached out, tilting her chin up. He held her eyes, expression patient and steady. “So just ask.”

She licked her lips, nervous. “Wh-why aren’t you wearing it?” she asked, voice cracked and raw.

The eyebrow he quirked at her was…almost smug. “Who said I’m not wearing it?”

She jerked back, surprised, then glared pointedly at his conspicuously ring-less hands.

His mouth twitched and he reached inside the collar of his shirt, pulling out a chain and…

“...oh.”

“Yea, oh.”

There it was—an emerald ring, dangling on the chain next to an oval-shaped pendant.

It was so embarrassing, but she couldn’t help it: she burst into tears.

“Rikka?” Chase sounded alarmed. “What’s wrong? I wasn’t trying to make you cry or nothing, I thought you’d be happy!”

“I am happy!” she wailed, then hiccuped. “And I feel s-so stu-u-pid!”

“No, you’re not stupid,” he soothed. “Come here.” He pulled her into a hug, which was awkward with the center console in the way, but they tried their best anyway. He reached between them to unbuckle her seatbelt so he could pull her closer. She buried her face in his neck and continued to weep.

“You’re not stupid,” he repeated quietly, leaning his cheek against her hair and rubbing her back. “But I wish you’d just talked to me to begin with. We could’ve solved all of this with a five minute conversation and you wouldn’t have had to make yourself sick worrying about this.”

She let out another sob, knowing he was absolutely right. She had always been her own worst enemy.

“And for the record? I don’t hate the ring. Obviously,” he said. “And I didn’t think it was weird when you gave it to me either. I was actually really touched. And I—” he paused and let out an incredulous huff. “Why would I play along with the whole vow thing if I thought it was weird?”

She snuffled, making an “I don’t know” noise into his shoulder, unable to think of an excuse.

“Uh-huh,” he said dryly. He fell silent and continued to gently stroke her back, as her sobs slowly began to subside. “Look,” he said, “would I recommend buying someone a ring in general? Probably not. But not everyone is you and me. I knew what you meant by it.”

She went very still. “...do you?” she asked, quietly.

“Yea, I do,” he said, sounding very certain. “I mean, I got you flowers, didn’t I?”

She laughed, still a little teary. Maybe he did understand. “I had a feeling about that.”

“Well, there you go,” he said simply. “Here.” He pulled out of their embrace, leaning forward to open the glove compartment to retrieve some tissues. He passed them to her and she wiped her face and blew her nose gratefully. “And uh,” he continued, clearing his throat, “don’t go around buying anyone else rings, okay? Or I might feel a kind of way about it.”

She hid a smile behind her tissue as she wiped her nose. “Oh yea?”

“Yep.” His face looked very serious, but there was a warmth in his eyes that sent butterflies dancing in her stomach.

She cleared her own throat and gestured at the chain. “May I?”

He leaned forward, in response. She leaned in as well, grasping the pendant and angling it to catch the fading light of the sunset. It was engraved with a winged angel, sword in one hand and shield in the other. “What is this?” she asked curiously.

“St. Michael,” he answered. “He’s the patron saint of cops and first responders. My uh…my ma gave it to me when I graduated from the police academy.”

She hummed. “Is she religious?” She knew so little about his mother: she was a single mom who had to work a lot, Chase was convinced she blamed him for Parker’s death…but this pendant was proof that she cared more than he thought. At least in Roku’s opinion.

Chase snorted. “Hell, no. We never went to church or Mass for anything except a wedding or baptism now and then. I don’t think she believes in God at all, but uh…” He scratched his beard, “It’s hard to explain. She’s not religious, but we had a picture of the Virgin Mary in our house and she’ll ask St. Anthony to help her find her keys…I think she likes the tradition of it, not that she actually believes.”

“I’d like to meet her,” Roku said, a little wistfully.

“I’ll take you to meet her one day,” he said and her heart soared at the promise inherent in that statement. “She’ll love you and tell me you’re too good for me.”

She bit her lip around a smile. “No, I think it’s the other way around.”

“Oh, no,” said Chase, his own mouth twitching at the corners. “I’m not having this argument with you.”

“You absolutely shouldn’t,” she agreed. “Since I’m objectively correct.”

“No, no—”

“It’s true!”

“Nope, not arguing with you, which doesn’t mean you win,” he said lightly, pulling back to his side of the car.

A thought occurred to her suddenly. “Why on a chain and not your finger?” It was a burning question she’d gotten distracted from asking in their earlier conversation.

“A couple of reasons,” he said, shrugging. “It’s a hard job where we use our hands a lot and I didn’t want to worry about damaging it or hurting my hand in a way that would mean we’d have to cut it off. And also I didn’t want to give Shelby or Hillby any encouragement.”

“That is so valid.” She couldn’t help but agree. She loved them, but god, they could be so annoying.

“I’m not ashamed of it,” he said, looking her directly in the eyes, deadly serious. “I just…wanted to keep it private. That’s all.” He patted his chest where it hung next to the pendant. “Gifts from the two most important women in my life? I figure it’s safer where I can keep it under my body armor.”

Oh. Oh that wasn’t fair at all. Since when did he get so smooth?! She could feel herself flushing but hoped the deepening shadows hid it as night began to fall in earnest.

He went to buckle his seatbelt, paused, then said, “You know what? We’re off duty.” She watched as he unclasped the chain, pulling off the ring, and slipped it onto the fourth finger of his right hand.

“Y-you don’t have to—”

“What? It’s my ring, I’ll wear it if I want to,” he said nonchalantly. He turned off the hazards, looking over his shoulder to see if there were any oncoming cars in his blindspot. “Well, we didn’t make it to where I was planning to have this conversation but…”

“No, it’s good that we didn’t get too far,” she reassured him. “I really need to be getting home anyway.”

He shot her a confused look before easing his car back on the road. “What are you in a hurry for?”

“I need to get back to walk Buddy, and then I have to feed him and the cat.”

“Who’s Buddy?” he demanded. “Wait, you got a dog? And a cat?!”

She frowned at him, befuddled. “Yes? I—” she cast her mind back over yesterday’s events, then blinked. “Oh! Oh, we got so busy, I forgot to tell you!”

“You think?” said Chase, pulling a U-turn. “What kind of dog? What’s the cat’s name?”

“Buddy’s a golden retriever! And the cat’s named Winter.” She could see him visibly melting when he heard the cat’s name.

“Rikka,” Chase scolded. “This is vital information and I can’t believe you forgot to share this with me. I could’ve been petting them both right now.”

“I’m so sorry,” she said, laughing. “It was thoughtless of me.”

“Very thoughtless,” he agreed, stepping on the gas.

“Chase! That was a red light!” she gasped reproachfully.

“We’re police officers responding to an urgent animal welfare case,” he said dismissively, weaving around the cars in front of them.

“Sure, sure.”

“This is very important,” he insisted. “I’m doing this for you.”

She smiled helplessly as the light from the passing streetlights glinted off the emerald on his finger.

“Ah, right, of course. Well...thank you.”

He grinned back at her, just for a second, before returning his gaze to the road, gunning the accelerator.

“Anytime.”