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"I never thought―" she starts, throat bobbing, eyes wide with shame and fear. He can smell it on her. He knows he wasn't wanted. Why else would he end up in the Constrictai chamber as a baby? He's always wondered if he was supposed to die, if she assumed the Serpentine would consume him instead of look after him, take him in as one of their own young.
When he tries to ask this, it dies on his tongue, bitter. He doesn't swallow it, doesn't let it drag down his throat, but he doesn't spit it out either. He ends up standing dumbly behind his twin brother, watching as she regards Lloyd and then Pillar.
"You thought you'd never see us again, but you were wrong. We're going to win, no matter what," Lloyd says, determined, even as he swallows hard, nodding his head. He grabs onto Pillar's hand.
"I have no doubt that you will," she says, ever softer. Her gaze drops to Pillar. "I never― what were you named? I never got to name my only daughter."
"Daughter?" echos Kai from somewhere behind him. Pillar's ears ring.
He shakes his head, forcing himself not to tremble in place. Whip used to do that, shake like he wanted to burrow into the ground and hide. He doesn't want to think about Whip, not anymore. The necklace of scales presses hard against his chest. "I am not your daughter," he declares, voice sharp, "I am the son of Boa of the Constrictai tribe. Do not talk to me like you know who I am."
His tail flicks anxiously out behind him, making a rattling motion. He does not look like a girl, and the Constrictai do not have the same notions of gender that the humans do. Nothing was ever enforced, not like it is on the surface. He was sure he does not look feminine or girly or anything wrong. He knows he's a boy, and he's always known. He's the Champion, why does it matter what gender he is?
"Oh. I'm sorry," she apologises, then, "I would like to know you. Both of you."
Lloyd scoffs. "You shouldn't have left then," he reminds under his breath, ears pinned tightly back. Pillar squeezes his hand.
"And I will always regret that―" she tries, "but I have a good reason. It's about you, Lloyd, and your destiny. I always knew you were going to be the Green Ninja, that you would would be the one to fight your father. I tried to find all I could about the prophecy. I was hoping I could stop it."
"Well, is there?" asks Jay, shrill.
Pillar thinks over her words. He knows Lloyd is the Green Ninja, he knows that he is much more important than Pillar is. He doesn't particularly care about the surface stories, about any of it. He is starting to notice that his mother prefers Lloyd over him. Is it because Lloyd is the Green Ninja? What was the point of splitting them up? What was the point of dropping him into the Serpentine den just to shut it closed again, shunning him from the outside world? He knows he is supposed to be a bridge for humanity and Serpentine. He knows that he is the Champion. His mother doesn't see this. Why does he want her to? This woman is not his guardian and never will be.
"There may be. But, I don't want to talk about prophecies now. I want to get to know my son. Both of my children," she responds. Pillar notes she didn't say both of her sons. He doesn't know if that's worthwhile. He doesn't know her. Maybe he doesn't want to talk to her.
He has to, though, doesn't he?
"We should leave them," Wu tells the Ninja.
Lloyd shakes his head, turning towards the other Ninja. He lets go of Pillar's hand. "No. I'm coming with you, I don't want to be around somebody who didn't want me."
"Lloyd—" starts their mother, but then she sighs, turning her attention to Pillar. Her son.
"Pillar, come on!" calls Lloyd. He looks between the two. His brother, the Green Ninja, or his mother, who abandoned him? Abandoned both of them without a care in the world? Does she even like him? Does she care about him? Why did she name Lloyd and not him? He is thankful for his guardian, always thankful, for the name that was bestoed onto him, but why was he not named by the woman who gave birth to him and then gave him up?
How can he be both advocates for humanity and Serpentine kind when he does not even want to speak with his own mother? He really is so selfish. He palms at the outline of his necklace under his skin, Whip's scales encased in amber. He needs to do this.
He inhales, exhales, reminds himself who he is. "I think I'm going to speak with her," he tells his brother, tail twitching anxiously. "Give her a chance to explain." His words come out much harsher than he thought they would, and when he looks over his shoulder, his mother's face is stricken with hurt. Maybe he shouldn't have said that. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe Pythor would have killed him in the snake pit, maybe he would be dead and Whip would be alive and he wouldn't have to deal with any of this.
(When he was a boy, head spinning with thoughts and feelings and ideas he could not possibly understand. He would go to his guardian. They would braid strips of his hair, comb through the various knots from his day of roughhousing, and give him a straightforward answer. When that answer didn't work, or seemed too embarrassing for him, he would go to Whip. Whip would laugh at him, and usually, he had witnessed whatever trouble Pillar had gotten himself into. Then, he would give him advice. Stupid advice, little kid advice, but advice nonetheless. Now, both his guardian and Whip are dead. Who can guide him? Who can guide him that knows him? He wants to cry, a little, he thinks. He wants to curl up as small as he can make himself and go back to the Constrictai chamber, back before he had met any of the Ninja or his brother or his father. He wants to go back to a simpler time, where his biggest worry was becoming Champion.)
"Fine. Do that then," Lloyd says, and he too looks hurt, eyebrows pinched, He can't win. Everybody will despise him for something. He has to do this. He has to speak with humans.
Pillar frowns as Wu tells the other Ninjas to give them space, and all of the sudden, Pillar is alone with the woman who didn't want him.
"Please," she says, "come and walk with me." She motions her head to the hallway, and Pillar starts walking, cautious.
"I never got your name," Misako reminds. "Lloyd called you Pillar?"
"Pillar of Hope," he answers, "that's what my guardian named me."
"I see why you didn't change it," she says, "it's a beautiful name."
He shrugs, trying not to let the subtle twitch of his tail show his emotions. "It sounds better in Serpentine," he informs.
"Oh? You speak Serpentine? I've always wanted to learn but I've just never had the time. It's a very nice langague, I've heard."
He looks at the paintings stretched in a row across the wall, all about Lloyd's prophecy. "It's my native language―the Constrictai dialect, at least."
She nods, polite. Does she care? Why did she give him to them? Why did she not name him? Did she think him unworthy of a name? Lloyd is the Green Ninja, he's written in every history book, in every ancient text. What is Pillar? Who is Pillar with Lloyd? He knows he's the Champion. He knows how important he is to Serpentine tradition, maybe more than Lloyd knows, maybe more than his mother will ever know.
They step into a room with a pit at the end, and more texts about the prophecy lining the walls. "This is a part of my research," she informs. "I've been trying for a long time to stop the final battle. There's some information on it, but unfortunately, it is all academic right now. As soon as I saw Lloyd I knew that he would become the Green Ninja, and that he would have to fight his father."
He knows that stopping the final battle, keeping father and son from killing each other for the world is more important than anything else. However, he cannot help but wonder what she saw when she first looked at him? He would never change his life for anything, and yet, things could have been different.
"How is he taking it? Being the Green Ninja?" she inquires.
He shrugs. "It's hard on him, I guess. He can't really be a kid. I didn't really know him before he found out he was the Green Ninja, though. A couple days, maybe. I couldn't tell you what he was like before, you would have to ask the others."
"I knew you two would find each other," she says, softly.
Did you? he thinks, you knew the snake chambers would be open? You knew the Constrictai would treat him as a baby instead of as a meal or as a slave? It's not as though the Serpentine tribes have a good track record for being kind amongst the humans.
Finally, he stops biting his tongue. "Why did you split us up?" he questions. "Lloyd and me."
Misako swallows, hard. She shudders into herself, gaze flying across the depictions of the Green Ninja ― of her destined son. "I worried about what would happen to you. I fear your father would have corrupted you, made you a part of his dark army. I felt like the Serpentine was the only place you could have hidden, even if it meant I could never see you again. I checked in on Lloyd, and I knew even at that school, his goodness would have prevented his father from taking him over. But I couldn't be certain about you. I didn't want the curse to keep on with you two: brother versus si― brother. I did not want you two to be pitted against each other like your father and uncle are."
That makes sense, he supposes. She says she checked up on Lloyd, but how true is that? Lloyd hates her, feels abandoned by her. Would her studies keep her from looking after him? Why does he feel so suspicious when he has no proof of her lying?
"Well," he starts, "I didn't get corrupted. And father didn't try to turn me evil or whatever when I met him." That's positive.
She smiles at him. "Yes, he didn't. In hindsight, he wasn't too focused on his children back in those days. Maybe if things were different, you two could have grown up together."
He shrugs. "Maybe."
"Well, it seems like the Serpentine treated you kindly, at least. I don't know much about them and their culture, but I know you were not born with those spots under your eyes. What do they represent?" She moves her hand over, lifting his chin up softly, so softly as if he would crumble to dust under her touch.
His eyes flutter slightly, the ghost of his guardian prickling across his skin. "They mean that I've been accepted as a Serpentine. I got them when I was very young. 5, I think? They aren't really tattoos, I dunno what they are. It's made out of venom, scales and ink, I believe. I didn't ask many questions."
"They compliment you. Do you consider yourself Serpentine? I suppose you would. I had never thought about that before," she admits.
He nods. "Yeah, I'm Serpentine. I don't― I'm not as human as you are, I guess." His tail lashes out behind him. "I grew up Serpentine, I'm considered Serpentine. I dunno. I just don't care to be human."
She moves her hand away, wiping her fingers on her green pants. "I'm sorry about that. I wish I could have brought you and Lloyd with me. I really do, but it was much too dangerous for two infants. There were times even I didn't think I would survive."
"It's fine," he counters, "I guess― for me at least. I dunno about Lloyd, but I am happy with how I grew up. I wouldn't give it up."
Her expression flashes with something he can't pick up fast enough, gone in the twitch of a hare's tail. Her smile tighens. "I see. I should talk to him. Any tips?"
"Remember that he's still my age, even if he doesn't look it," he says.
"Oh, I was going to ask about that but I felt it wasn't appropriate."
He shakes his head. "It's a long story. Not exactly relevant. He can tell it, if he wants to."
She nods. "I wish he wasn't so upset. You understand why I had to leave."
Pillar's eyebrows furrow. "I was under much different circumstances than Lloyd was." Pillar grew up with his guardian, who taught him everything he knows, taught him to be right to his name, taught him to keep going despite his differences. He had a very good friend all his life, who kept by his side despite the fact that he was different. Lloyd had none of that, he was subject to bullying and hardship and friendlessness, never living up to his father's reuptation because his father was the only role model he had to look up to.
Misako bites on her lip. "Yes, you're right." She puts her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it. It feels much more parental than he feels she has the right to be. However, he takes it because he knows she must miss her children. "You know, Lloyd may be like your father, but I think you're the most like me."
He doesn't think he's like her at all. He doesn't know her. He doesn't respond, instead says, "I should go see where the others went." Keeping steady eye-contact he watches her nod. He pulls back, feeling her hand linger on his shoulder.
Lloyd does not want to speak with Misako when they return to the group. Pillar slinks over to stand beside Zane, his arms crossed over his chest, tail lashing.
Misako looks upset, but lets Lloyd be, excusing herself and stepping into another room.
"That's your mother, are you sure you don't want to speak with her?" asks Kai.
Lloyd nods. "I don't want to have anything to do with her, she abandoned me."
"For a good reason: she wants to stop the prophecy. Maybe she can stop you from having to fight Garmadon. Don't you think you should?" he counters.
"Stop pushing, Kai. I can handle this on my own." Lloyd stalks off in the direction of the front entrance. Pillar looks at the Ninja, and then follows him out the door.
"What did she say to you?" his brother asks, blond hair glinting in the sunlight.
He figures it is a little rude to spill everything she had told him. "Uhm. I dunno if it's my place to say. It was all about protecting you, though," he answers.
"And leaving you with the Constrictai?" he wonders.
"Protecting me, I guess." He shrugs, but his heart isn't in it
Lloyd lets out a bitter chuckle. "Trying to protect us by never being around. I think father has protected us more than she has. At least he did something worthwhile."
Pillar frowns. He doesn't say anything at all.