Work Text:
“Alright, babe. What’s wrong?”
Tyler flinched at the unexpected hand on his shoulder. He looked up into his boyfriend’s eyes. “What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong,” he tried to smile but failed miserably.
Josh sighed and sat down on the sofa next to Tyler, who was hugging his knees with his hands. “Ty, we’ve been together for about six years now. I think I can tell when something’s wrong.”
It was Tyler’s turn to sigh. He was stupid for thinking Josh wouldn’t notice the purple bags under his eyes, creating as a result of countless sleepless nights Tyler had cried his eyes out, wishing his feelings would change. He hated himself for pulling Josh into the pit of hell that was his mental state in the first place.
“I…” Tyler could feel the tears beginning to form in the corners of his eyes, so he stopped talking before they could burst out.
“Ty, come on. You know you can tell me anything. Seriously, you’re scaring me.”
“I’m so sorry, Josh,” Tyler couldn’t stop the salty tears from falling down his cheeks, rolling towards his chin.
“Tyler, are you okay? Talk to me,” Josh’s widened eyes were glued to Tyler’s, making it even harder for him to say what he was about to.
“I… Okay, please let me finish this. You can yell afterwards, you can hate me all you want, just please let me finish, alright?”
After a small nod from Josh, and a sob from himself, Tyler continued. “Okay… I’m just gonna say it. Recently, I’ve been feeling that this – between us – is… dying out? I mean, you’ve been great, seriously, but… I feel like I’m drowning. I’m drowning, Josh, and I try to swim up, to gasp for air but something is pulling me down, pulling me deeper. I-I don’t know what it is but I’m afraid. I’m afraid for myself and I’m afraid for you. Because I… I can’t do this anymore. I’m so sorry. Six years of a relationship and now… now, I don’t feel anything. Josh, I don’t think I… love you anymore. I know you’ll never forgive me for this and I’m not asking you to understand, I’m just asking you- no, I’m begging you to let me go and live on. I’m sorry.”
Tears were falling on Josh’s cheeks now too. His voice and breath were shaky when he spoke. “Tyler how… How do you expect me to just… move on? I can’t… I…”
Taking a deep breath, Tyler stood up. His heart was aching, it was crushing to pieces. He didn’t love Josh anymore, but he did still care for him a lot and it hurt seeing him like this.
“I know… I’m sorry.”