Work Text:
"You ready for this, Probie?"
"Not particularly."
"What, afraid of Ziva's driving? Don't worry, I'll make sure she sits in the back."
"I don't know if that would be better or worse than her driving, honestly."
"Huh. Good point." Tony turned his attention to said backseat then, surprised to find it littered with papers. "Rough night, McGoo? Looks like your desk exploded back here." He started shuffling the papers into a loose pile, then caught sight of something brightly colored jammed into the crease between the seat and the seat back. "Oh, what do we have here?"
McGee's head shot up from his phone at the tone of Tony's voice, his eyes wide. He had no idea what it was that Tony had found. . .
. . .until Tony turned around, swinging a shocking purple thong from his index finger.
McGee stared at the undergarment for a minute, then turned his attention back to Tony, who now had a huge Cheshire grin on his face. "Looks like somebody was getting a little McFreaky last night," Tony said.
McGee continued to gape at him, then closed his mouth, reaching out to yank the thong from Tony's hand. "It's none of your business, Tony."
Tony suddenly made a face and backed away from him. "They're not yours, are they? That would be really McFreaky."
"Of course not. Don't be ridiculous."
Tony put his hands on his hips. "Well, then, who's the lucky lady?" He gave McGee a pointed look, and as they stared each other down, the last of their carpool arrived at the scene.
"Good morning, you two. I see you have already begun arguing about something, which does not surprise me in the. . ." She trailed off, then said, "What is that in your hand?"
McGee broke the staredown to look over at Ziva, who looked up from the thong in his hand to his face, and he imagined the look on his face mirrored the one of wide-eyed horror on hers.
They didn't say anything, and it only took Tony a few moments of looking from McGee to Ziva to the thong and back to his partners again before he figured it out.
"Oh!" he exclaimed, pointing at them as though accusing them of a crime. "Oh! Oh my God! You and you and oh God, my eyes!" He slammed his eyes shut and began bouncing around like someone had stepped on his foot, while making strange yipping noises like a wounded puppy.
Ziva and McGee turned their attention to their partner, then looked at each other again.
"This is going to be a really long road trip, isn't it?" McGee asked.
Ziva didn't answer him, just glared as she reached out and snatched her thong from his hand and shoved it in her pocket.
THE END!