Chapter Text
It was in the summer, where Yoshiki finally accepted and confirmed: his best friend, Hikaru, is dead.
He saw the body in the start of the year, but he kept convincing himself, he was alive. That made him… so delusional. Hikaru, his best friend that he saw that day, was supposed to be dead. His body was cold, and although he didn’t have injuries that were serious, it felt impossible for him to suddenly come back from that mountain unharmed. Yoshiki curled up in his bed, the night wasn’t cold, it was hot, like he was going to get boiled alive… Then, a notification popped up in his phone, ‘Hikaru’, he asked if he was free tomorrow, why? He didn’t answer at first, for a couple of minutes, he stared at the blinding light, before typing a straightforward response: ‘yes.’ Yoshiki turned off his phone, and attempted to sleep, even when he was haunted by the real Hikaru, oh, he still remembers him...
He was selfish to want him to stay, Yoshiki didn’t want to be alone, and he knew that. Hikaru… why did you have to leave that day?
Morning came. It was even worse than yesterday, the heat instantly rose and didn’t plan to stop. Yoshiki got ready, but just wondered, what will ‘Hikaru’ want to do with him today? Last week, ‘Hikaru’ wanted to buy ice cream with him, and play around in the arcade. So, curious, Yoshiki was.
Yoshiki dragged his legs over to ‘Hikaru’s’ House. Then, he saw Asako and Yuuki there, he tilted his head, as he looked around to find ‘Hikaru’. Asako and Yuuki greeted Yoshiki cheerfully, they were one of Yoshiki’s close friends. They were eating watermelon, that’s a good choice, seeing the temperature outside right now. ‘Hikaru’ grabbed Yoshiki from the back to catch him off guard, obviously, it worked. These two were friends ever since they were young! Ahh, what a nice love story, too bad this Hikaru ain’t Hikaru! Heh.
“Yoshiki!!” ‘Hikaru’ called out, putting his weight in Yoshiki, which made him almost tip over like a building, “Look, look, look! You couldn’t even see me because of your long bangs!” He laughed. Yoshiki got back his composure, before looking at ‘Hikaru’.
The way he smiles, laughs, teases, acts, are all like Hikaru. But who is he kidding? This monster could never replace Hikaru.
Asako smiled, “Hikaru is right, Yoshiki! But if you don’t wanna cut it, just pin it up, easy!”, she suggested.
Hikaru got off Yoshiki, he paused, touching Yoshiki’s bangs, he brightened up at an idea, he smiled at Yoshiki… his smile… ah, why even think of that? A guy and another guy can’t be romantic with each other, it’s weird, and it feels so… wrong. Why does it feel so wrong? Is it because of how society is..? Or is it because Yoshiki knows that his mother would for sure hate him for it. Either way, Hikaru would never feel the same. It’s the monsetr’s feelings, just like ‘Hikaru’ confirmed.
“I know, I know!!”, ‘Hikaru’ said with joy, snapping Yoishiki back to reality.
“It’s simple! I’ll cut his bangs-” immediately when ‘Hikaru’ suggested that, Yoshiki panicked.
“No. Anything but that..!”
Oh, why is he scared of his dear trusted friend cutting his bangs! Well, err… you see, Yoshiki did that before with Hikaru, and, let’s say Hikaru made a a small mistake! Pfft! Who cares if the problem is small, right! It shouldn’t be that bad? Yeah. Hikaru laughed when he accidentally cut off Yoishiki’s entire fringe- or bangs? What’s the difference! Yoshiki held a grudge after that day, but even when he’s mad at him, he isn’t truly angry at someone like Hikaru… someone who guys by his side until the very end. Someone who died on him, someone that he actually liked… every night, Yoshiki would question… ‘why did Hikaru go up that mountain anyways… it’s dangerous, he knows that.’, so why. And why does Yoshiki care so much about this idiot!
“Yo…hiki….!”
Why. Why… why did Hikaru leave him alone?
“YOSHIKI!” Yuuki called out, she seemed concerned, she continued, “What are you zoning out for!”
Finally, at least someone did it again. Yoshiki looked deadpan, he turned away, not looking at ‘Hikaru’.
“Yes… I’m just sad you two ate all this and didn’t even think of me.”, Yoshiki said, which made Asako turn red in embarrassment.
Asako and Yuuki both ate the watermelons without Yoshiki, lolz. Yuuki found it funny, Asako felt guilty.
These two are certainly a duo. (LESBIANS ALERT!!)
‘Hikaru’ kept his eyes on Yoshiki, eyeing him up and down, he smirked. For what reason? Heh… even I don’t know, but who cares! Hours passed of them bonding, playing games, doing dares, calling each other out, an arm wrestle that Asako would always win in. Yeah! That was a fun day. Asako and Yuuki left first, they wanted to go to the beach! ‘Hikaru’ let them. For he was left alone with the emo, sad, neglected pou long lost brother. Yoshiki! Who doesn’t love Yoshiki! Soo silly, so happy, so depressing tbh mushi moshi
‘Hikaru’ smiled, hugging him again, while Yoshiki was just depressed and shit.
“Yoshiki!!”, ‘Hikaru’ called his name out. Which didn’t quite catch his attention for a second there, but sooner, it did.
“Hikaru..”, Yoshiki’s voice was soft, “What is it?”
‘Hikaru’ smiled, that same smile Hikaru would give him all the time… so cheerful, so happy, so—
“I wanna know, what was Hikaru like?”, he questioned sheepishly, but his smile never faltered. No, not yet, at least?
Hikaru… he was so…
“Now you’re asking?…” Yoshiki paused, trying to think of what to say, the list goes on… he could talk forever about Hikaru.
“Hikaru… was like a main character of a manga. He was great in sports, but weak in studies… the seniors disliked him for being rude and disrespectful, but the underclassmen loved Hikaru so much.. there were rumours of girls liking Hikaru, and he always would hype himself up thinking when they would confess their love to him. But in the end, they would end up with someone else.”, that, made Yoshiki laugh softly, ‘Hikaru’ got even more curious, “Hikaru never cried. Not even once, sometimes.. I wished when he wanted to. Hikaru… he was very happy. He always would get ice cream with me at the end of the day.”
Yoshiki’s smile faded. How he had missed his dear friend so much…
‘Hikaru’ kept silent for a moment, he sensed that Yoshiki was feeling down. He took in all the information, and then smiled, as always, so cheerful.
“He sounds fun! Say, what about we turn that frown.. UPSIDE DOWNN!!~”
‘Hikaru’ grabbed Yoshiki’s face and made him do a forced smile, and deep down, Yoshiki found him so endearing. Even when this ‘Hikaru’ can’t replace the one he had always liked… this, was better than being alone, than crying in his room every night, hoping he would come back. It.. felt so good, the way Hikaru had always made him so happy. They both laughed, it was a light atmosphere.
Yoshiki… liked it. He loved it. Hikaru can always make him so happy. ‘Hikaru’ did the same.
Gosh, it’s so darn hard to tell them apart, huh? It’s even harder when you think of them both in you dreams.
…
“What.”
That’s all he asked. He wanted a clear understanding of what ‘Hikaru’ just said. Yoshiki looked… frustrated, desperate, worried, and.. ah, this love is so doomed after all, huh? Ain’t nobody can be happy. But this duo is so frickin’ doomed. Let there be angst I guess?
“Well.. you heard me.. it’s the most reasonable plan, right?”, ‘Hikaru’ continued, “And, I don’t wanna hurt anyone. That lady said I attract impurities right? Well… I also don’t want ya to get mixed. I don’t want ya to get hurt by an impurity—”
“No!” Yoshiki cut him off, he seemed so emotional right now, he usually is so… emotionless.
“No! No! I won’t let you!!!” Yoshiki snapped, “I don’t care if it’s a reasonable plan! I… You ain’t leaving me again, Hikaru!!”
Yoshiki, he sounded so angry for the first time in years, so desperate. But who could blame him? His best friend, his childhood friend, his one and only left him for dead that day, six months ago. Does it look like he would let him go again? You could say, Yoshiki is in depression, denial, and just sad in general. ‘Hikaru’ froze. He had never expected Yoshiki to freak about him leaving for his— well, everyone’s own good! Hikaru…
He never knew what it was like to be human, he’s just an intruder in a human’s body after all. He doesn’t know how scary death is, he’s a god to grant wishes. ‘Hikaru’, he was between, life, death, and rebirth. He’s always questioned who or what he even was. Yoshiki wanted to find out, he did research every night, read every history book, art book, and asked every elderly that was aware of the Indos and their responsibility of that mountain god. Yoshiki came to a conclusion that the mountain god, Nonuki-sama, was that monster that’s intruding his dead best friends’ corpse. But.. with Hikaru gone, the days progressed slowly with Yoshiki crying in his sleep, wishing he came back and that day must’ve been a dream. An nightmare. But, was it truly? But when ‘Hikaru’— I mean, Nonuki-sama came to replace Hikaru, he didn’t want it anymore. As if he made his choice long ago. But, did he really not want ‘Hikaru’? It was better than being alone, but, wouldn’t that be selfish? It would, wouldn’t it?