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Fa looked in his eyes and saw nothing in them. Kamille's beautiful eyes, the ones that always had an intense blue-green flame burning behind them, were now blank. his eyes were open, staring in her direction, but not at her. she counted the stars reflecting from the small window in the Argama's medical room to those eyes.
2,
4,
6 in each eye.
Fa felt more like a helpless child than ever. It was usually easy to forget her own age because of all the responsibilities forced onto her, but she was really only 18. If she had been living a normal life, would her and Kamille be graduating right about now? going to parties? You know, normal teenage stuff, like making bad decisions and learning from them, or stressing about what to do for the rest of their long lives together. Fa felt so detached from that reality of a normal life now. She had only been on the Argama for a few months, but she didn't see anything past it in her future.
Fa cups Kamille's soft face with her hand. His chest slowly rises and falls, but other than that he shows no movement at all. "Its going to be okay Kamille. We'll get you to a hospital soon." Fa says, reassuring herself more than the boy in front of her. She lets a few of her tears drip on to him. they stay like that for a few minutes.
Fa's crying is interrupted by Dr. Hasan coming in to the room. He said he would give her 40 minutes alone with Kamille. Had it been that long already? The young pilot quickly wipes away her tears to look slightly more presentable. The doctor looks at her with a concerned face, and she quickly averts her eye contact. Hasan takes a deep breath, obviously upset about Kamille's situation as well. "I need to run a few more tests on him. you've been very helpful, but what you need now is sleep. It will be good for both you and him."
"NO!"
The yell coming from her mouth surprised even herself. Fa cringes at her tone a little, it came off more agressive than she had intended. "I-I mean no, thank you for the concern, but I won't. I can help with whatever tests or- or anything!" The words came out more desperate than she wanted them to sound.
The doctor sighed, that concerned face still put on. "Please Fa. I know this has been tough on all of us. What you need in this moment is a short break. Even the captain is resting right now."
"How can he rest right now knowing hes directly responsible for this situation!" She can't stop herself from letting the nasty words spill out of her mouth. Something snaps in her and she lets herself keep going.
"Fa, stop yelling! You know thats not-"
"It is! Captain Bright is the one leading everyone to their deaths! Katz, Lieutenant Emma, Lieutenant Quattro, and now maybe even Kamille! Its easy for him to sleep now because all he does is sit around and bark orders while us pilots are being wiped out!"
"Fa!" Doctor hasan doesn't attempt to argue with her, knowing it will only rile her up more. He looks... tired. More than Fa had ever seen him. He suddenly looked at the open doorway nervously. Hearing slow breathing, coming from a third party, Fa quickly turns to look as well.
Bright Noa, someone she always saw as stable and strong, looks more pathetic than ever standing in the doorway to the medical room. There was no physical indication that he was unwell to someone who might not know him. But Fa could tell. The way his breaths were shallow. His perfect posture was the slightest bit more hunched than normal. his eyes were slightly red, as if he had been crying. Before seeing this image, Fa couldn't even imagine the man crying if she tried.
Bright avoids eye contact and keeps going down the hallway, past the medical room. He had obviously heard what she said. Being this outspoken was out of character for Fa, and in this state she wasn't thinking rationally. Guilt and regret shoot through her, as she puts her hand on her temple to ease the headache.
"Please. Sleep. Kamille isn't going anywhere." The doctor returns his gaze to Fa, ignoring the encounter. He talked in a gentle voice like he was talking to a child. Fa hated it. His attempts at comforting her only made her feel more useless.
Fa gives up, knowing if she doesn't leave she'll just be forced out. She mumbles a soft "okay" and bolts out the door, the opposite way that the captain went. It takes longer to get to her room this way, but she can't risk running into Bright after that unfair outburst. She goes down the hallways as fast as she can with the low gravity, moving towards her room. She hears Shinta and Qum in the distance chatting, slowly getting closer. As they laugh, Fa moves faster and as soon as she gets to her room, closes the door behind her. She hears her name being called out by Shinta, trying to get her to open the door. Fa sits on the floor, back against the door and hands over her ears.
As the children gave up on calling her after a few minutes, the room falls into silence other than the quiet hum of the ship. Fa stays seated, and lets herself close her eyes. She prays that some sort of mysterious newtype magic will come in and bring Kamille back. She knows it won't happen. The exhaustion hits her hard as she slowly drifts away into sleep. Maybe she can dream about the war ending.
Maybe Kamille will be back to himself in her dreams.