Chapter Text
When Ahsoka lands in the main hanger of the 134th Legions ship, the Vanquisher, she thinks there must be something wrong with their air circulator because the atmosphere is suffocating. She hasn’t even stepped off the ship and it’s difficult to breathe, it takes her a second to realize that’s it’s not actually the air but rather the whirlwind of emotions that strangle her in the Force.
She was already a ball of nerves about meeting her new Master, now she can feel her own nerves tangling with the sense of dread, fear, and bitter denial that seems to be almost embedded in the ship, and it’s smothering. Ahsoka’s first couple steps towards the ramp are wobbly, but she manages to straighten out and take a breath before officially leaving the transport.
“Commander on Deck!” The shout jolts her as she turns her attention to the trooper who called, standing ramrod straight while saluting. It admittedly takes a little longer than it should for her to realize the salute was for her.
“Oh, um, thank you…uh” She waits for a name but receives silence in return. Several other troops snaped up at the call, many seeming to have stopped midway through their tasks, all standing with the stiffest postures Ahsoka has seen. She stumbles for a second unsure what to say, having only started to study military code a couple weeks ago, when she learned about being assigned to the front.
“At ease…?” Ahsoka didn’t really mean for it to sound like a question, and she’s not sure she even got the term right considering the confusion that seems to color the troopers in the room. Instead, she turns to the trooper who made the initial call, practically all the soldiers sport white armor minus the spot of black paint here and there, but he seems to have a pauldron and a Kama, marking him as at least some kind of commanding officer. She smiles at him and tries to diffuse at least some of the tension in the air, though it seems to have the opposite effect.
“Hello, could you direct me to Master Krell? I’m Ahsoka Ta-…”
“Padawan Tano.” Ahsoka glances around to see Master Krell approaching and she turns her attention to him and bows her head.
“Master Krell, greetings. My name is Ahsoka Tano, and I’ve been assigned as your padawan learner by the council to complete my Jedi training.” She does her best to be polite, there are several rumors of how…stringent Krell could be and the last thing she needs is a terrible first impression. She needs to show that she should be here.
“Yes, I am well aware of the council’s decision.” The tone is so detached and contains an edge of sneer that catches Ahsoka off guard. “Be that as it may, while you are under my tutelage you shall follow my rules.”
“Of course, Mas- “
“One, you shall speak only when it is asked of you. Two, you shall follow my orders without question. And three, should there be any form of disobedience you shall be punished for it.” A shiver runs down Ahsoka’s spine as she starts to wonder what’s she’s really gotten into.
“But Master- “
“Is that understood?” The edge in the tone is uncompromising, and contrary to the Creche master’s beliefs, Ahsoka can read the room, empathy was one of her more innate skills. But understanding the atmosphere and agreeing with it are completely different things.
“I understand Master Krell. However, I am here as a learner, I can’t improve if I don’t ask questions. The temperature in the hanger seems to plummet and her stomach churns with unease, she’s starting to regret wearing a tube top to greet her new master as she resists the urge to rub her arms to warm up. Beside her, the command trooper straightens out even more, which Ahsoka didn’t even know was possible.
“Padawan Tano, your lightsaber.” Ahsoka hesitates. A moment too long, if Krell’s outstretched hand is anything to go by. She unhooks the weapon from her side and places it in Master Krell’s palm.
“I’m sure it has been well taught by the masters’ that this weapon is your life.” Ahsoka nods uncomfortably as Krell begins to disassemble it, letting the parts levitate in the air as they detach themselves, screws creaking in protest at not quite being disassembled properly. She tries to reach out, but her wrist is caught by one of Krell’s free hands and the strength of the grip has her frozen.
“What are you- “As the disassembled saber floats in the air, Krell reaches to pluck the kyber crystal and any breath Ahsoka could hold in her lungs immediately is squeezed out.
“As long as you are my padawan your life is my responsibility. This is a battlefield, not a playground. You will listen to my commands, or you will die. If I have made myself clear, familiarize yourself with the ship and your quarters which CT-9812 will guide you to, we begin training at 0700 on the next standard rotation in training room four and when I deem you ready, we begin our next deployment. Understood?” Ahsoka does her best to suck in a breath as she nods.
“Understood, Master.” Krell looks her over before letting go and stalking away from her, pieces of her saber clattering to the ground as Ahsoka barely manages to catch the crystal that Krell drops, cradling it close to her chest as it seems to hum a dreary song. She takes a moment to focus on breathing, listening to crystal’s dissonate sound before kneeling to the ground to pick up the scattered pieces. Putting it back together will take a bit, especially considering she’ll have to comb through the pieces to see if anything needs to be replaced from the forceful disassembly. Though not like she’s entirely sure where she would get new parts anyway.
Loneliness bites at her mind. Training under a master is far different from what she expected.
From the edge of her vision a hand outstretches, offering a piece of her emitter. Ahsoka stares at it, taking it gently while turning her attention to the trooper with the pauldron. All the clones in the hanger seem to be still standing at some form of parade rest and the bitterness that seemed to sit in the hanger when she landed has lessened, replaced by more weariness and confusion.
“Thank you…um…CT-9812?” The hand twitches and Ahsoka can sense his turmoil turn into something like resolve, his nerves nipping at the edge of her force signature.
“When we’re not around General Krell, most people call me Captain Void, sir.”
Ahsoka can feel her eyes start to sting and she takes a steadying breath, the atmosphere not feeling quite as thick and she brings herself to stand on her feet, lightsaber pieces in hand, giving the sincerest smile she can muster.
“Nice to meet you, Captain Void.” She turns to the rest of the hanger where eyes still rest on her, and she gives a deep bow. “I am Padawan learner Ahsoka Tano, as of today I will be your Jedi Commander, I have much to learn, but I look forward to working with you all.” The tension finally dissolves somewhat, one trooper even coming up to nudge Captain Void’s shoulder, smelling faintly of oil and smoke.
“Kriff, Void, she’s barely a cadet. How old are you commander, six?” Ahsoka bristles a bit at the accusation.
“I’m fourteen, Master Yoda agreed it was time for me to become a padawan.” At the trooper’s confused look Void lets out a heavy sigh.
“Standard years, Jumpstart, she’s seven in clone years.” A look of understanding lights in Jumpstart’s eyes and Void glances over to Ahsoka before continuing to elaborate. “Sorry Commander, clones age at about twice the normal human rate, deployment age in standard years is about ten. He meant no disrespect, he’s one of the best pilots in the battalion, designation CT-6676.” Something akin to realization and horror settles into Ahsoka’s chest.
“None taken, nice to meet you Jumpstart.” It’s as if calling his name was some kind of catalyst because relief seems to permeate the air, several more troopers approaching, one glancing nervously at her lightsaber pieces before speaking up.
“I’m CT-1324, the name’s Tinker, I can help you with that if would like Commander.” Her heart warms, but her reluctance to hand over the pieces must show on her face because he backs off quickly.
“Thanks Tinker, I could maybe use some spare parts, but putting a lightsaber together is a very…personal activity for a Jedi.” Awareness and discomfort wash over the group, fully coming to terms of the extent of Krell’s actions.
Tinker examines the parts in her hands as he nods to himself, a few seconds later he starts to rummage around in a side pack before pulling out a couple screws and a bolt, offering them to the commander.
“From what I can tell this should be good for the stripped pieces and nothing else seems to have too much damage.” Ahsoka can’t help the pure gratitude she projects outwards as she takes the pieces and she can tell, to some extent, the troopers feel it because they all seem so surprised.
“Thank you, Tinker.” She hesitates for a second, glancing at the crowd, unsure. “If Captain Void is willing to wait and you’d like to see it put back together I can try and fix it now. Of course, any of you are welcome, but you are dismissed to your duties if you wish. Captain Void does a stiff shrug and Tinker absolutely lights up.
“You’re the one who is eating into your rest time before training Commander.” Ahsoka nods before sinking into a meditative pose. A couple troopers join her on the ground, some stand nearby wearily, and a few seem content to return to their various jobs. Ahsoka sorts through the pieces and true to Tinker’s word, only a couple screws and a bolt seem to need replacement. As she meditates the pieces begin to float and she can feel the curiosity from the troopers, Tinker’s especially is like a star in the force, the moment he reaches and taps one of the floating pieces Ahsoka’s control wavers and the pieces wobble though she smiles at him gently.
“Putting together a lightsaber is one of the most delicate processes a Jedi can do with the Force, if you’re not in tune with your weapon, the pieces never quite come together properly. Many masters say this weapon is our life.” Ahsoka’s never had to explain something like this before, but she imagines it feels a little bit like teaching at the Creche, she always thought she’d dislike teaching but it’s kind of nice. She brings her crystal to float gently above her hand “The kyber crystal is the power source and heart of the weapon, Jedi often meditate with it in the same way you may clean your weapon to make sure everything is tuned up properly. The mental state of the Jedi often can affect what color you see. Some schools of thought put meaning in these colors, though I’ve never had a master explain it to me fully.”
Tinker stares, fascinated, but holds his tongue as a look of concentration etches itself on the commander’s face. Several minutes later of pieces aligning themselves and slotting together and the familiar form seems to be emerging, some of the troopers who were standing took to sitting or began to tend to their original work, glancing over now and again. The final screw slots into place and the air almost seems to hum with something otherworldly, slowly drifting back down to the Commander’s hand. If Void had to guess it would be all that force osik the Jedi are known for, though it never quite felt like this around Krell.
“What color is your saber, commander?” Tinker asks a curious jitter in the way he bounces his knee. Ahsoka smiles slightly as she flips the hilt in her hand and ignites the saber. A bright green glow envelopes the area, though Ahsoka pauses to stare, it seemed a bit lighter in color then the last time she remembered igniting it. A startling awareness seeps into Ahsoka as she notices that the previously dispelled tension has ratcheted back up. She looks around at the tense troopers as her smile drops, turning off the saber.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean- I should have asked if it was alright.” It occurs to Ahsoka now that she basically flicked off the safety for a weapon near a bunch of war-trained soldiers.
“It’s alright commander.” Void speaks up. “It’s just, we’ve seen how destructive a lightsaber can be.”
It hurts Ahsoka’s heart to have what it’s supposed to be a peacekeepers protective shield described as destructive, though she supposes that they’re not entirely wrong. But it’s not the first time since landing that she’s wondered, “What is Master Krell like?”
It’s the wrong thing to ask, she knew it was before the spike of fear went through the air, but she can’t just ignore it.
“General Krell is...strict.” Captain Void answers hesitantly. “He’s dedicated to the mission and doesn’t tend to deviate when he sets out a path.”
“I think you meant he’s a kriffing psycho who thinks we’re a bunch of flesh droids.” Jumpstart cuts in, for which Void elbows him in the ribs, fear coming from the captain in waves.
“He means no disrespect commander; casualties tend to be high out here on the front and it earns him some weariness from the troops. There are only a few remaining from the first initial deployment, Jumpstart and I included, our previous clone commander died on the last deployment, and he was already the second. Though I don’t think we’ll get another clone commander with you here now, Commander Tano.
Ahsoka sighs heavily, unsure what to do, unsure if there is anything she even should do. Maybe this was normal. It didn’t quite sit right with her.
“May I see your faces?” The hesitation is back but when Captain Void removes his helmet, several others follow suit, their faces are startlingly similar, though some scars differentiate them, that, and something even more fundamental that she heard Master Yoda talk about when she was assigned as a padawan. Ahsoka takes the time to look into the eyes of as many as she can. “You are not flesh droids, Master Yoda taught me to not always look with my eyes, in the force you all shine so differently that there’s no way to be mistaken as the same person. If there is anything I ever do wrong or you think I can help with something I want you all that you can approach me at any time, good or bad reason.” The idea seems to settle on the group, but doesn’t quite take root, and Ahsoka smiles at them, she doesn’t mind working for it.
The chats die down a bit and with a promise to Tinker to explain more about her lightsaber later, Ahsoka follows Void out of the hanger and around the ship. He walks with purpose, obviously with a destination in mind, but still takes time to point out important rooms and passages, training areas, barracks, mess hall, armories, etc. When Captain Void comes to a stop, Ahsoka is a bit confused, the large door obviously isn’t for her quarters, and he hasn’t stopped his pace until now.
“This is medbay. Deployment wasn’t too long ago so it’s still rather full, but it’s good to have a look around. Medics tend to get the least sleep so please be considerate Commander.” Captain Void states, Ahsoka raises an eyebrow, but nods her head in understanding. She should have guessed from the pain and cloudy confusion that seeps into the hall along with the faint smell of antiseptics. The door swishes open with a chime and sure enough there are several beds occupied along the walls, a couple of medics scurrying about, though several spots seem to be open. It’s the first time she’s seen troopers doing duties without a helmet on. A trooper walks up to them, and he keeps his face schooled, but she can feel his surprise as he straightens to a salute. Ahsoka immediately becomes slightly flustered as she tries to find the right words.
“As you were, trooper.” She sighs out, already able to tell this will get tiring. The confusion is less masked this time as his eyes flick over to Void, and out of the corner of her eye Ahsoka can make out some rapid-fire hand signs that piques her curiosity.
“This is CT-8421, Jinx.” Void says aloud this time, and Jinx’s eyebrows visibly shoot up at the use of his name. “He’s one of the head medics and probably the best doctor on board. He can take care of your wrist for you.” Ahsoka can’t help but huff out a laugh, the throb of her wrist where Krell had grabbed her had long gone in the background of her mind, though she could see an edge of purple bruising peeking out from the edge of her vambraces. Void was a bit slyer then Ahsoka gave him credit for.
“Nice to meet you Jinx, I suppose I’ll be in your care.” To his credit it only takes a couple blinks before he seems to regain himself.
“Likewise, Commander Tano. May I?” Ahsoka shrugs and follows him over to a station where she presents her wrist after unbuckling the vambrace. The coloring is honestly a bit darker than she was expecting, but she can already tell nothing major is wrong.
“Captain Void mentioned you’re the best doctor on board, it’s just some bruising, I can patch it up with a kit later if you give me one, it looks like you have more pressing matters.” Ahsoka states while glancing around the room at all the occupied beds. Jinx shakes his head and prods the tender area, flicking on a scanner as he does so.
“Treatment of Jedi and Commanding officers take precedent, no matter the injury extent commander.” Jinx recites, as if it’s been long drilled into him. A rock settles in Ahsoka’s stomach, the pain in the air doesn’t help, and it’s gotten increasingly difficult to avoid being sick.
“That’s not right.” Ahsoka states, “Please don’t tell me that’s an actual rule.”
Jinx glances over to Void as they have another one of those silent conversations before turning back to Ahsoka with a light smile and a shrug.
“Now what happened to your wrist commander?” Jinx asks, sidestepping her comment as he starts twisting the appendage checking for mobility. “Let me know if there’s pain.” She doesn’t appreciate the deflection, but also doesn’t want to push it, so she lets it drop.
“Master Krell grabbed it, probably tighter than he meant to. Togrutas have a bit more brittle biology than Besalisks, built more for dexterity than toughness.”
Jinx’s gentle persistent prodding halts and she can feel dread start to grow in his force signature, mumbling under his breath speaking several words Ahsoka can’t understand though she thinks might be mando’a, if it wasn’t for her sensitive hearing she wouldn’t have even picked it up. Void clears his throat, a clear warning, prompting Jinx to glare at him and stiffen his shoulders slightly before turning his attention back to the commander.
“It’s best to be careful around General Krell.” Jinx says cautiously, soothingly rubbing some bacta on the bruises before wrapping it. Ahsoka huffs and rolls her eyes.
“I’m starting to get the sense of that. The council thinks he’s good for my ‘discipline’ issues.” Jinx almost curls in at the words, humming in thought.
“Well, you cleared to go commander, if you have a physical on file or can come in to get one done for our records in the next few rotations, that would be appreciated.”
Ahsoka nods and heads out with Void, the walk continuing to her quarters. It’s quiet. The troopers they pass snap to salute and Ahsoka does her best to wave them off. When they arrive at her door she takes in the small blank room, it feels a bit lonely. It would be the first time she had a room completely to herself. Ahsoka turns to Void who even with his helmet on, she can tell is giving her an odd look.
“Thank you, Captain Void. I hope I’ll be seeing you around?” He stares for a moment longer before nodding stiffly.
“Of course, Commander Tano.” And with that he’s on his way, leaving Ahsoka to make her way into her room to settle for some rest, though it turns out to be fitful at best.
