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Saku doesn’t know when it happened. Perhaps it wasn’t one significant event like it is in all terrible romance movies, but many small things building up like waves on a beach.
And now the tsunami was drowning him.
If he had to pinpoint something specific, the late night meetings at the sky garden came to mind first. Saku came up to smoke. Amagi said he came up to get a better view of the stars. They’d gotten to speaking, that first night. After that, Saku found himself going up there for Amagi’s company more than his nicotine fix, some nights. Most nights.
They’d gotten closer after those first few meetings, soon finding themselves meeting in the day too. Usually at Cafe Cinnamon. Hindsight is a bitch. Maybe that was the reason he couldn’t look Shiina in the eyes anymore. After Shiina had watched them spend their afternoons laughing and joking together.
Just to make things worse, Saku doesn’t even like inexperienced guys. Though, his obvious virginity didn’t stop Amagi from being a good flirt, when he really wanted to. Saku had sincerely expected him to blush and sputter when Saku came onto him. Instead, he was often met head-on or by enthusiastic yet oblivious eyes.
And yes, Shiina had witnessed those moments too. Yeah. That definitely played a big part in Saku’s avoidance of him. He’s sure Shiina appreciated the break from his antics.
Saku’s phone buzzed in his pocket, pulling him out of his obsessive spiral.
“Meet-up at Cinnamon? I am free in 20 minutes!”
Shit.
Back to the spiral he goes.
Saku was overly aware of Shiina’s eyes on them. Of course. Of fucking course Shiina needed to have a shift right now. Why not? After all, Saku was nothing if not the universe’s laughing stock. He’d learned he was a cosmic joke years ago, back in his teenagehood when fate destined him to having his life fucked over by Tenshouin–
Okay, that’s a spiral for another day.
Back to Amagi. Right. Amagi. Stupid, cyan eyes that are so huge, staring back at him with such enthusiasm. Dumb, red hair, looking so effortlessly perfect despite Saku knowing the idiot definitely doesn’t style it properly. And that smile. There aren't even words to describe that smile of his.
“And Aira has gotten much better at staying in-sync with everybody!”
Honestly, it was the same boring nonsense that Saku had heard Amagi go on about again and again. Blah-blah job went well. Blah-blah has nailed a move. Blah-blah idol blah. Doesn’t matter. Saku’ll listen to the same monologue a hundred times over just to listen to the joy in Amagi’s voice as he speaks. He makes such a good idol.
Fuck, there is seriously something wrong with him.
And apparently, Shiina thinks so too, because it’s not long before he’s using his break to drag Saku into the staff kitchen, using some excuse about an emergency only he can fix. As if. Saku doesn’t fix things, he just makes them worse. Constantly.
Fine. If Shiina wants to play, then he’ll play.
“Niiiki-nikiiii~! This is sooo mean! I’m on a really awesome date right now with a suuuper handsome guy–”
“Does Rinne-kun know how often you come to this cafe and make fuck-me eyes at his little brother?!”
Not even Saku could immediately mask his surprise at that. Especially not when it’s coming from Shiina of all people.
“Uhmmm… Yeah, totally! Actually, he likes to watch!”
“Saku-kun!”
“What?? I was hesitant, too, at first. But hey, they grew up in a very different culture–”
Saku’s ramblings were cut off by Shiina’s hand over his mouth. Bastard.
Shiina pulled it back in disgust when Saku licked it, and with a long-suffering sigh, turned to scrub it clean with soap that looked more appetizing than most of the food in this place, in Saku’s honest opinion.
What Saku hated most about Shiina was his uncanny ability to make Saku open up to him by just… being there.
“No. No, he doesn’t know.”
Shiina let out a strangled noise that could’ve been anything from a laugh to a sob to the start of a heart attack. Saku wasn’t sure.
“Is that why you’ve been skipping practice?”
“Yes. Yes, I’ve been skipping Crazy:B practice to get my dick wet inside our leader’s little brother– No, not the hand again, it’s wet! Have mercy!”
Shiina let out another sigh, drying his hands with more force than necessary.
“Do you really like him?”
Saku felt those words more than he heard them. A sharp shiver went down his spine, his body already kicking into its usual fight-or-flight response saved specifically for moments of vulnerability.
But Niki didn’t push. Didn’t demand. Just waited, pretending to still be drying his hands, looking at Saku without judgment. Concern, sure. Exasperation, absolutely. But not judgment, not really.
Saku felt his body calm, eventually.
“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”
Niki smiled. More weary than his usual cheerful grin. But a smile nonetheless.
Saku smiled back.
“You do get kind of cute around him.”
“I’m always cute.”
“Nevermind.”
Saku was sure there was much more going on in Niki’s brain than Saku acting “cute”, but honestly, he wasn’t eager to find out what. Or maybe Niki just didn’t want to waste any extra calories on the confrontation. That wouldn’t surprise him, either.
In the end, Saku escaped Cinnamon’s kitchen with his sanity and dignity mostly intact, and returned to his table to hear more nonsense about idol jobs, Aira, and - if he’s lucky - Hiiro himself.