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Tsukishima barged into the house, closing the door not too quietly behind him. His mother, probably shocked by the sudden loud noise, popped her head out of her kitchen and asked what happened. Tsukishima quickly apologised but made his way quickly up the stairs to his bedroom, ignoring questions from Akiteru about the volleyball camp.
All he could hear was his voice.
Shouting an excuse along the lines of being too tired and that he would not be having dinner with them, Tsukishima bought himself some time to be alone by himself.
Slumping down on his bed, Tsukishima buried his face in his pillows.
His arms. His eyes. His hair. His breath. His voice. They were all trapped in Tsukishima's mind as it played over the scene continuously in his brain.
*
It had been the last day of the training camp and Tsukishima had spent his evening practicing in the third gym with Kuroo, Bokuto and Akaashi. Hinata had to leave abruptly at the end, nervously stuttering about having to meet Kageyama somewhere before taking his leave while Lev had been caught by Yaku for ditching receiving practices and with a pinch of his ear, Lev had been brutally dragged out.
After a few spikes, sets and blocking of the ball, the four of them decided to call it a day and pack up. They finished cleaning the gym and headed their separate ways back to their respective dorms after saying their goodbyes. The dorms were split by schools so Bokuto and Akaashi headed in the same direction while Kuroo and Tsukishima made their way to their own dorms.
Tsukishima yawned after a day of relentless training and could not wait to get into the shower and head to bed. He had no doubt that he would be lights out once his head reached his pillow. But although he was looking forward to going back home, had been ever since he stepped into the campus, he was also slightly reluctant to leave. After all, he did find back his passion for volleyball and he definitely would not argue that this camp had been fruitful.
But most of all, he didn't want to leave Kuroo.
Tsukishima thought that his feelings towards him at first were purely respect and admiration from a junior to a senior. Completely natural. But he seemed to find himself looking at Kuroo's direction every chance he could and more often than not Tsukishima would share the same feelings Kuroo had. When Kuroo was happy, so was he. When was sad, so was he. Perhaps this is what one call an attraction, an infatuation or maybe... even love?
Shaking his head, Tsukishima tried to forget about it, but was interrupted by a warm hand on his shoulder. Spurning his head around, Tsukishima came face to face with Kuroo, the one person he'd rather not see at the moment.
"Hey, Tsukki." His heart skipped at how Kuroo said his nickname.
"Uh... I've got something to tell you. Do you have a moment? So we can talk?" Kuroo rubbed his hand over the back of his neck, something Tsukishima noticed Kuroo would do whenever he was nervous or in deep thought.
"Can it wait till tomorrow? I'm a bit tired from the whole day of... training." Tsukishima replied, yawning mid-sentence.
"Tomorrow's gonna be a little too late for it. Could you spare me a moment? Please~" Kuroo was practically begging for Tsukishima's company.
"Why would tomorrow be too late?" Tsukishima needed a little more conviction if he was going to risk his precious sleep for some chat with a senior, even if he had a crus on him.
"It's cause... I wouldn't be able to ask you face-to-face if it is tomorrow." Kuroo seemed to be thrown off-guard by Tsukishima's question. "I mean...I could always text you or call you about it but I didn't think you'd want to give your number away so easily."
It was true that he never gave his number away, especially to people he didn't know well. But Kuroo... he was different. Tsukishima would have given him his number in a split second if he had ever asked for it. But now Tsukishima was intrigued. What could Kuroo possibly want to ask him? He decided to play along.
That was mistake number 1.
The cold wind rustled Tsukishima hair as a both of them strolled along the pavement which snaked through the garden in the school. Kuroo wasn't talking and Tsukishima didn't want to be the one to break the tension, which was increasing with each step they took.
At that moment, Kuroo turned around to face Tsukishima. Startled by the sudden movement, Tsukishima jumped a little but it was barely noticeable. Seemed like Kuroo was finally starting to talk.
"So...uh..." Tsukishima could hear the hesitant in his voice as he attempted to find the words to say.
Finally, just when Tsukishima was getting irritated at his muttering, Kuroo splurged out, "I...I have a crush."
What?
Kuroo, the high and mighty Kuroo Tetsuro (at least that's what he calls himself), was going all flustered all because of a crush?
"Pfft. I can't believe you would be one who would fall in love." Tsukishima couldn't help but tease Kuroo for it. But there had been a nagging feeling tugging at his heart even as he smirked.
"So, who's the lucky girl?" Tsukishima said as his curiosity got the better of him and he got straight to the point.
Mistake number 2.
*
"KEI! It's already 8! Are you sure you're not hungry? We're keeping the dishes!' Akiteru's voice startled him and he jumped a little.
"I'm fine!" Tsukishima shot a quick reply. Unknowingly, sweat started beading down his forehead. His room was getting stuffier and hotter by the minute, causing the shirt to cling onto his body.
Discomfort got the better of him and Tsukishima decided to take a shower, hoping to get rid of the sweat and the memories in his head.
*
"Well..." Kuroo's hand-rubbing habit kicked in again. "He isn't really of the female gender."
Tsukishima widened his eyes. The person Kuroo liked...was a guy?
That was news to him.
But why was Kuroo telling him all of this in the first place? Unless...
Kuroo walked over to the bench not too far away but that moment of silence gave Tsukishima enough time to have one in a million thoughts about Kuroo and his "mysterious" crush.
I mean what other reason could it be that Kuroo would suddenly tell him about his crush? Tsukishima could feel his heart beating faster as blood rushed to his face threatening to turn it a bright shade of red.
As they settled down, Tsukishima tried to not let his happiness show and pulled off the best poker face he could manage. He felt that he may have overdone it because Kuroo cocked his eyebrow in puzzlement. But he didn't paid much attention to him after that and started gazing at the stars above them.
"Aren't the stars beautiful tonight?" Kuroo suddenly asked.
"Uhh.. yeah" The words were stuck in his throat and he couldn't get what was happening at the moment. Tsukishima always knew about the "butterflies in the stomach" cliche but he never knew that the butterflies would be having a fucking party in him.
"Do you know who else is beautiful?" Oh god. OHHH GOD. This could not be happening. Sweat beaded down the back of his neck despite the cold wind and his heart was pounding wildly, threatening to burst out of his chest.
"Wh..who?"
This was it.
"Kenma."
"Come again?" Tsukishima couldn't believe-wouldn't believe would be a better choice of words-what he was hearing.
"Kenma. Kenma Kozume? Ring any bells?" Kuroo emphasised his name over and over again, a name that Tsukishima thought would be his.
"Oh...Oh yea. Kenma. That setter from Nekoma. He's been your best friend for...how long?" Tsukishima quickly regained his senses and tried to hide his disappointment with light conversation.
"For as long as I can remember," Kuroo resumed gazing at the stars, "He had been there with me through most of my life and I can't believe it took me this long to figure out that he was the one."
Tsukishima felt his world shatter around him with every word Kuroo said. Every word Kuroo said was like a stab in his heart and his emotions threatened to spill as if he was a glass filled with water to the brim.
"So what do you want me for?" Tsukishima could hear the poison in his own voice but he couldn't care less. He just wanted to get this over with.
"Oh.. uh..." Kuroo stopped short at the sudden interruption. "I was thinking, well, I heard that you were pretty good with the ladies and I was just wondering if you have any tips you could give me to help me and Kenma."
Tsukishima was speechless.
"I know I literally just met you and you probably think this is the most stupidest thing you've ever heard but I've got no one else to ask."
Kuroo wanted Tsukishima to be... to be his wingman?
"You...you're asking me to be your wingman? Why don't you ask Bokuto instead, you two seems pretty close already, I don't see why you have to ask me." Tsukishima felt like he was suffocating with every passing minute.
"I can't ask Bokuto about this! He'll freak and who knows if he'll even keep his mouth shut." Kuroo waved the comment away in disgust.
"Pleaseeee. I'm begging you." Kuroo inched closer to Tsukishima and a firm hand landed on Tsukishima's shoulder. Tsukishima felt a tingle down his spine and Kuroo's fingers shot electricity wherever it touched. In a heat of the moment, Tsukishima couldn't find his words and his mouth slipped.
"Sure."
Kuroo's face lit up almost instantaneously. Kuroo's hands somehow wrapped around Tsukishima's and he shook them violently while gushing out words of gratitude.
Tsukishima smiled gently as he watched Kuroo do his little victory dance and it seemed as if they were the only ones that mattered in this world.
"Well, if that's all then I guess I should head back." Tsukishima stood up from the bench and dusted for any dirt off his pants.
"Wait, hold on a minute." Kuroo fished out his phone from his pocket and grabbed Tsukishima's arm to stop him from leaving.
"Let me get your number so I can contact you easier and um, maybe you could give me some relationship advice." Kuroo had already flipped open his phone and appeared more than ready to have Tsukishima type in his number. If it had been before all this happened, Tsukishima wouldn't have minded. But despite Tsukishima's unwillingness, he had already agreed to help Kuroo and rejecting to exchange numbers would be a weird choice of actions, especially if he didn't want Kuroo to suspect anything.
And Tsukishima did as so, but he never imagined how typing in his own number on his crush's phone would have felt so painful.
"Thank you! You have no idea just how grateful I am right now. I could...I could just kiss you!" Tsukishima knew that it was just meant to be a figure of speech but how he wished that Kuroo had meant it.
"It's really getting dark now, I'm gonna head back to my dorm." Tsukishima forced his most nonchalant voice but even he could tell that his it was this close to cracking.
"Oh yeah ok. Sorry for holding you back for something like this."
"It's no problem." Tsukishima waved it off, turned his back and headed back to his initial direction. Now he just had to fight back his tears as they threatened to flow down his cheeks. His heart felt like it was about to burst as emotions continued filling it up to the brim. Tsukishima never felt this way before, not even when he found out about his brother, but he didn't like it.
He didn't realise his feelings for Kuroo had gone to the point of no return and he hated the feelings that came with this unrequited love.
*
Tsukishima finished drying his hair with a blow dryer and was about to dive back into his pile of unfinished homework when a 'ping' sound caught his attention.
It was a text.
Tsukishima knew exactly who he was and though he hadn't calmed down just yet, he unlocked his phone. With a text from that dark-haired cat whose love he could never get, it read:
"Thanks for agreeing to help me, I appreciate it. You really are a great friend."
Friend. A word he never thought he'd come to hate.