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It's just before Bridgette and Aaron are set to close that Terry steps out behind the restaurant to find Nicole sitting there on the curb, a cigarette in her hand.
"You didn't go home with Ruby?" He tries to keep his tone light and conversational but can't mask the worry in his voice. Nicole had finished out her shift after her parents left despite his and Joey's reassurances that it was fine for her to go home.
Joey had scoffed and said something about young people and their hero complexes, but Terry had understood her. How many times, as a server, had he been subject to the worst situations imaginable and put his apron back on without even taking a minute to decompress in the walk-in first? He got the need to keep busy. After her shift ended, though, Nicole had robotically gathered her things and gone out back. Which is where they are now.
She lifts her head slightly to look up at him, a glazed look in her eyes. "Oh. No. I was supposed to, I mean, I didn't bring my car today because I was going home with her, but. I don't know. Fuck, why did I... I told her I needed some time to myself. She understood. I didn't wanna bother her."
Terry nods, pretending he understands what she's trying to say. "May I sit?"
Nicole hesitates, then nods and moves over to make room for him. She's surprisingly talkative for someone who hasn't said a word since her parents left, but the glassy shine in her eyes betrays the tears that are threatening to spill out.
He takes a deep breath.
"You alright there? I know that was a lot today. With your family coming in and all. I just want you to know... you can talk to me." He nods, proud of himself for making an effort to connect with his employee. Instead of launching into what was bothering her like he'd hoped, she just stared at him, confused.
"Why would I tell YOU?" Her shoulders visibly tense. "No offense, Terry, but like... you've literally never shown interest in my life before. I don't want your pity."
Damn. He's going to have to actually try.
"You know, Nicole... I've been there. Where you are. And- and I know it hurts, but..." When you get kicked out, you learn you can't trust anyone else ever again and don't let anyone close to you for twenty years so you don't get hurt? He can't say that. So instead he just sits there awkwardly next to her. Until she finally breaks the silence.
"What would YOU know? I thought you were out to your family," she spits. "They probably ran you out because they figured you were too much of a pushover to amount to anything, not because you're a..." She trails off. It's an awful thing to say- she knows how conservative the town he grew up in was- but Terry just looks up at the powerlines overhead and smiles. Not a real smile, but one that shows that he knows she'll apologize tomorrow. When she's cooled off from whatever this is.
He turns back to her, looking her in the eyes even though she's guiltily trying to avoid his gaze now. "Nicole, why do you think I moved out here to California? I had to. My family weren't about to run me out of town, like, but sometimes you just have to accept the fact that the way you are just isn't something they're ever gonna want from you."
She's staring at him, and he knows he's lost her. He looks up into the overcast night sky again, trying to think of what she might be feeling. He gets the sense it's not what he felt, packing up his car and making the two day drive to Bakersfield. No, Nicole wasn't the type to run away from her problems like he was. But... back there, at that table...
She drops her head and starts to cry before Terry can do something idiotic like tell her her family's reaction wasn't that bad in the grand scheme of things. That isn't what she needs to hear right now, he knows, but he can't stop the tiny part of him that's jealous at her ability to tell people what's what. Maybe if he'd done that the first time his sister found out he could have stopped her outing him altogether.
And then what? He asks himself bitterly. Stayed in Murfreesboro, married a nice enough girl that my mother loved, and died without knowing how things could be if I just... had just let myself...
"I don't want you taking this out on Aaron, now," he finds himself saying. He knows it's the worst thing he could tell her right now but he just can't think of anything else. Clint's the one who's good at this stuff, not Terry.
But Nicole just turns her face toward him and sighs. "I KNOW. It's my own fucking fault, anyway. If I'd just been less of a fucking coward and-" She cuts herself off.
"You're not a coward, sweetheart. I didn't like the way your mother was speaking to ya, even the last time they came in here. I'd imagine anyone would be nervous, family like that."
Nicole nods and wipes a tear off her face. " I, like, tried telling Ruby about this, but. I don't know. She grew up in Marina del Rey and came out when she was like 12. I know she's had to deal with a lot in this industry, but..."
"She doesn't get it." Terry fills in the blank for her, leaning forward to hold Nicole's gaze when she shifts away with a guilty expression. "Hey, I get it. People like us... It's hard to explain what growing up in a family like that can do to ya. Or what it's like to not be able to tell your sibling about your first crush. Or what it's like to wake up every morning to pray to God that..."
"That maybe you'll wake up normal," Nicole mutters angrily. "Or that you won't wake up at ALL, and your family will finally-" Nicole sets her jaw and turns away again, but Terry sees the glimmer of worry behind her eyes.
"Yeah. Don't worry, Nicole, I get it. Sometimes it's easier to think about not trying at all than to hope for the world around you to change to accept you."
She's still not looking at him, but her shoulders relax slightly. "I wasn't really raised religious. But sometimes I wonder- I don't know. If I'm doing enough with my life, or whatever. My mom's always been... was always my moral compass. I know she doesn't really show it when she comes in here, but she really is proud of me. Used to be, I guess."
Terry nods and opens his mouth to speak but Nicole buries her face in her arms and starts to cry.
"I just want my mom to be proud of me."
Terry looks up and sighs, trying to recall the manager trainings that covered how to deal with crying employees. "I know, honey." He moves closer to her. "You, uh. You want a hug?"
Nicole nods and leans into his shoulder, letting him wrap his arms around her. He notices for the first time just how thin she is- her tall frame and brash personality do a lot to disguise it. Now, in the faint glow of the fluorescent street lights, she looks small and younger than her 36 years would suggest. He's reminded of his younger sister, and realizes with a pang that he'll never get to hug her again. He turns his focus back to Nicole instead of following that line of thought, smoothing her hair down.
She finally pulls away, wiping tears from her eyes. "Okay. That was like, so cringe. I should call my Uber, probably, I- I don't wanna keep you."
She's embarrassed, he can tell. He still isn't satisfied- he needs to know she'll be alright. "What are you gonna do when you get home?"
"Cry, probably."
He chuckles. "Fair enough. But I want you to make sure you talk to Ruby about all this, you hear? I've seen the way that girl looks at you. She'd never think you were a burden."
Nicole looks a little taken aback. "All right."
"And, Nicole?"
"Yeah?"
"I just want you to know... you can always talk to me. About anything. I know we have our differences at times, but... well, I like to think of us all as a family, like. So if anything's bothering you, you know, you need me to do anything, you can come to me with it. Even if it's getting your family 86'd from the restaurant."
Nicole giggles at that. "Oh God, that would be so embarrassing. I should probably talk to them tomorrow, I think... I think my dad was starting to come around. I was maybe being a little dramatic. Earlier. Sorry."
Terry shakes his head. "Don't apologize, hon. I would have been scared after all that, too. I think you handled it well. Considering you didn't kill Aaron the second they left."
She laughs. "I might, still."
Terry grins and rises, reaching out an arm to help her up. She accepts.
"You want a ride home?"
She nods gratefully. "Yes, PLEASE. I was NOT about to walk home alone after all that. God knows I can't afford that, not on what you pay me."
Terry smiles, choosing not to make a remark about Nicole pocketing her cash tips. "Yeah, yeah. Come on."
They leave through the front, Terry walking ahead to make sure Aaron isn't still in the parking lot. He's sure there'll be a fallout, like there always is, but he'd rather not make Nicole deal with it tonight.
As she gets out of his car after a drive spent in comfortable silence, she suddenly turns around and grabs Terry's side mirror to keep him from driving away. "Thank you. For staying with me. It, uh, was actually nice of you."
She's trying to be nonchalant, but he can tell she's grateful. "Of course, Nicole. And if you ever need anything else..."
She smiles - the first genuine smile he's seen from her all night. "I'll talk to you."
He watches her walk into her dimly lit apartment. Tomorrow will bring it's own challenges, but for now, he knows she'll be alright. Terry smiles and puts the car back in drive.