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I know you won’t ever read this and knowing that breaks my heart.
The fact that sparring with you is now nothing but a distant memory. The sound of You grumbling when we would walk through the rain still echoing in my ear. Your complaints still etched into my brain.
And although a small part of me is relieved that I won’t hear your complaints, my heart tells me that I won’t ever hear your complaints anymore… and that rests heavy. The thought that I’ll never hear your shouts down the halls of U.A. Or your criticism on how the others cook really messes with my head.
You apologized in the rain. Your voice heavy with regret and now I will never hear that voice again, eventually forgetting every words that are currently etched into my brain. “Nerd”. “Deku”. “Izuku”. No matter what you called me, I could never hate you. I can never hate you.
Eri stopped by and asked about you, you know. I had to hold back tears and lie that you were home for the week… maybe because that’s what I would like to believe too. That you’re not gone. Not as far. Not as out of reach. Not six feet below.
The twins have also asked online about you. I’m afraid that they’ll get their answer soon… and that they won’t believe that you, Great Lord Explosion Murder God Dynamight, are not here.
Uncle Masaru and Auntie Mitsuki still haven’t caught up to the fact that you’re not here. They still complain as if you’re still here but I can see the growing realization behind their eyes. They lost their baby. I just know that hurts.
All might acts like the father of the class, telling us not to cry but I can see how he looks out the window deep in thought on rainy days and the rest of the class cries at how the class is now so quiet… days are gloomier. Even Denki and Kirishima have stopped making as many jokes. Your desk untouched and your hero suit hung up on the hall. Still battered from your last fight. Your last fight. We wish you would come back but we’re scared our wishes won’t come true.
Class 1-A honestly doesn’t feel like class 1-A without you.
Didn’t you promise we would chase after eachother our whole life? At least on your end, that was fulfilled. I wonder what your last thoughts were. I bet you were angry. Or were you peaceful? Kacchan, do you miss us too?
I’m just sorry I couldn’t ever put up as much as a fight as you wanted. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you how you protected me. Im sorry I wasn’t fast enough. I’m sorry my body was unable to move on its own for you. I’m sorry I couldn’t catch up to you.
We miss you so much, Kacchan.
Sincerely, Deku.