Chapter Text
Lucia’s arrest had changed everything.
Realising he didn’t truly know someone he’d known for such a long time had been gutting.
Realising the mother of his child was a criminal was devastating.
Their relationship had fallen apart before Noah was even born, though they’d done their best to co-parent over the years.
He was married to his job throughout the week, and a devoted father on the weekends. It seemed he could just about balance the two, but throw a relationship into the mix, and it was a step too far.
Until something changed.
Morgan had been the one to change him, but Lucia hadn’t felt threatened by her. Instead, for a few months, she felt like there was a chance that she, Adam and Noah could actually be a family.
He’d thought the same, which was exactly why the truth about her had absolutely devastated him.
Balancing being a detective, a co-parent and finding his feet in a relationship again had been difficult. Balancing being a detective with being a single, full-time parent all of a sudden seemed impossible.
Despite his initial anger at Morgan when she'd suggested Lucia may be involved in the murder at the hotel (why would he want to believe the mother of his child was capable of such a thing, after all?), he really wasn't sure how he was supposed to do any of this without her.
A hand scrubbed over his face, and Morgan could practically feel the stress radiating off him.
They were so close to a breakthrough with the case, and usually, that would have meant Karadec staying later than anyone else.
Instead, he was glancing at his watch constantly.
"Penny for 'em?"
Morgan, as she often did, was sitting on the edge of his desk, her gaze intently on his face, as if he was the only person in the room.
"I don't wanna be late for Noah," he admitted. "He's got enough changes to adjust to without me missing pickup."
Morgan's expression softened. It had been a long time since she felt as if she was parenting entirely on her own, but she knew what it was like.
There'd been a time, between Roman disappearing and meeting Ludo, where she hadn't had anyone else to rely on. She wasn't about to let Karadec experience that now, not if she could help it.
"Y'know, the LAPD are paying Ludo to watch my kids," she reminded him. "I don't think he'd mind adding another one in the mix."
There was a momentary pause, as he considered this.
"No, I can't do that. I can't just pawn him off on someone else when he's already missing his mom."
Her hand reached out to settle on his shoulder, and he didn't flinch away.
"Adam..."
That undid him in a way it never had when Lucia said it.
Perhaps it was only because she usually called him 'Karadec', but every time she called him Adam, it felt intimate in a way he couldn't explain.
"You're allowed to ask for help," Morgan continued. "You don't have to do this all on your own."
So why did he feel like he needed to try?
It was a few days later when he finally caved.
By the time he made it from the precinct to the elementary school, everyone else was long gone.
"Mom was never late," Noah reminded him, as he climbed into the back of the car. "And I didn't have my shorts for gym class today."
It obviously wasn't intended as a dig at his parenting. Noah was eight, and had always loved their time together...but this adjustment was clearly hitting them both hard.
"I'm sorry, bud," he finally said, glancing at his son in the rearview mirror. "This is still a huge adjustment."
Of course it was true, but his son deserved better than that.
It was back at his apartment (which mainly still seemed like a show home or a page in a catalogue, bar a few more toys scattered around the place now) that he made a decision.
Noah reached for the small, green stuffed toy on the side, curious. "What is this?"
Karadec smiled, despite himself. "A gallbladder, apparently. Morgan bought it for me when I was in the hospital."
He tilted his head at that. "Your partner?"
"My partner," he agreed. Long gone were the days when he insisted she was 'only a consultant', or refused to take her seriously. She was his partner, and so much more than that.
Noah turned the gallbladder over in his hands, then glanced up at his father. "I like her," he stated.
"Yeah," Karadec agreed thoughtfully. "Me too."
She picked up on the third ring.
"If you're about to tell me to drop everything and meet you at a crime scene, I would love to, but there's kind of a burrito situation going on over here that requires my attention-"
"Morgan," he cut her off. "This isn't a work call."
"You just missed the sound of my voice?"
She didn't miss a beat, and he could practically hear her smirking through the phone.
"Something like that," he muttered, but he was smiling too. "It's about Noah."
Something inside of Morgan shifted then. He trusted her with his son, and she took that seriously.
"Yeah?" Her tone softened. "What's up? He okay?"
Karadec glanced over to where he was quietly playing, and let out a breath. "I think so..." he paused. "Not sure if I am."
She retreated to the couch, tucking her legs underneath herself, her voice softening. It was a gentleness reserved for her kids, vulnerable witnesses on cases...and him.
"You're doing your best," she reminded him softly. "When Ava was little, there were so many days when I didn't even wanna drag my ass out of bed. But I did, and I showed up for her. That's the most important thing you can do as a parent."
From her, that meant a lot - but it didn't mean the self doubt was just going to vanish into thin air.
"And what if showing up isn't enough for him? He's eight years old, he had...a routine, a whole life he was used to, and it's all gone out the window."
"Hey..." Morgan wished they were face to face; wished she could reach out and touch him. "Kids need stability, but that doesn't mean things don't change. You're not letting him down, Karadec. Lucia is the one who did that."
Despite his initial resistance to believe she'd be capable of such a thing, he couldn't argue with that now.
It had been hard enough for him to contend with, after he let her in and opened his heart to her again. But Noah? His whole life had changed overnight.
"I was late picking him up today," he admitted. "I was too busy working on the Miller case...y'know, Lucia always said I put work above everything else, but I was never supposed to put it above him."
There was silence on the other end of the line.
Then:
"You didn't," Morgan assured. "So you were a few minutes late, so what? If my kids started holding crap like that against me, I'd owe Ava like...y'know what, I don't even wanna think about it."
Karadec huffed out a laugh.
"My point is..." she continued. "He's not gonna remember the small things, he's gonna remember that you showed up for him when his mom couldn't. You're a good dad, Adam."
That wasn't always something he believed, but this time...
"Thank you, Morgan. That means a lot coming from you."
Morgan smiled softly to herself, deciding to lighten the mood a little: "Well, you're welcome. Now, go feed your kid his dinner before he stages a coup."
Agreeing to have Ludo pick Noah up alongside Ava, Elliot and Chloe had already lightened the load for him.
It was so much easier to focus on wrapping up the case when he knew his son was in safe hands.
When he left the bullpen, half an hour or so after Morgan, he didn't exactly expect to show up at her house to things seeming so...normal.
Noah was sitting with Elliot, listening intently as the older boy explained the rules of the game they were playing.
Ava was close by, occasionally glancing up from her phone to make sure the pair of them were alright.
Chloe, meanwhile, appeared to be playing some kind of game of her own, dragging her stuffed animals one by one to Noah's feet.
Morgan glanced over with a grin, nodding towards the teddy bear her toddler was currently placing in his son's lap.
"Mr Snuggles is her favourite right now - and that girl does not share. This is pretty huge," she told him, matter of factly.
Elliot and Noah both laughed at once, and his gaze drifted over to them. He looked happy, well adjusted, not exactly like a kid who wasn't coping. Huh.
Karadec made his way over to Morgan, stopping beside her. Both of them leaned against the kitchen counters, glancing in the direction of the kids.
"Has he been like this the whole time?" He asked softly, stealing a glance in her direction.
"From what Ludo said? Pretty much. Elliot's been talking his ear off, but he seems pretty happy about it," she shrugged. "Poor kid doesn't know what he's letting himself in for."
Karadec laughed, turning to face her. "Thank you," he said, quietly enough that none of the kids would hear. "For everything you said on the phone, for having Ludo pick him up, for...believing in me."
"Hey..." Morgan reached out, taking his hand gently in hers. She gave it a squeeze, the gesture intended as a comforting one, nothing more. "You've been a dad since the day he was born, of course you can do this. We all just need a little help. And we're partners, I wasn't just gonna let you suffer through it alone."
He didn't need to point out that they were work partners, and this was very much a personal matter. The line between professional and personal had blurred some time ago.
For a moment, he glanced down at their joint hands, considering (not for the first time) just how comfortable he felt around her.
Clearly, Noah felt that way too.
The little boy had made his way over, though rather than looking keen to see his father, he seemed a little reluctant.
"Do we have to go home?" He asked Karadec, his attention quickly shifting instead to Morgan. "Could we stay for dinner?"
While he hadn't quite expected his son to immediately feel comfortable enough with Morgan to look that close to giving her puppy eyes, it reinforced the idea that she really was someone special.
"I don't know if-"
Morgan cut him off before he could finish. "Of course you can stay for dinner. I'll make your dad help."
Karadec finally dropped her hand, shaking his head at that. "Guess I'm helping."
Behind him, Noah darted back in Elliot's direction, looking the most himself he'd been since his mother's arrest.