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Glamorous

Summary:

Techno and Dream aren't strict—far from it. Sure, they enforces a few basic rules, like curfews, but overall they give their son, Wemmbu, plenty of freedom. When it comes to dating, they're especially laid-back. They don't care who Wemmbu loves or how he identifies; all that matters is that he's happy.

That said, they still has one firm requirement for anyone trying to date their son: if you don't have your life together, don't even bother showing up.

Or:

Dream and Techno's encounters with Wemmbu's suitors.

Notes:

Hi! You might know me as the creator of Favourite Athlete—a justice duo fanfic. I don't know if I want to reupload that particular work, but if you didn't manage to download the fic before I impulsively deleted my first ao3 account, feel free to comment

Anyways, this idea has been living inside rent free in my head and I want it OUT. I even wrote it on paper for goodness sake!

Ah by the way, I wrote an easter egg in here lol.

Chapter 1: Prologue

Chapter Text

It is no secret that Wemmbu Blade, son of Runway magazine editor-in-chief Technoblade and action film star Dream Blade, lives a glamorous lifestyle.

And not just glamorous— it's glamorous with a capital G, written in flourishing penmanship on perfumed calligraphy paper.

They brought him along first-class flights, spontaneous—yet never unwelcome—shopping sprees, designer runway shows, and other high-profile social events.

As a result, Wemmbu has developed an undeniably expensive lifestyle—one his parents are more than happy to fund.

His clothes? Branded and tailor-made.

His skincare? Carefully curated after numerous consultations with dermatologists.

His jewelry? Designed with him in mind.

His lavish upbringing, paired with his father’s reputation in the fashion industry, has disciplined Wemmbu into maintaining a polished and sophisticated image.

Surprisingly, despite his background as a well-known “nepo baby,” his personal style and distinct charm have earned him a massive fanbase through his public appearances.

Technoblade and Dream couldn’t be prouder.

But if you asked them on a deeper, spiritual level?

Wemmbu’s massive fanbase feels less like a blessing—and more like a looming, impending headache.

okay, that might sound harsh.

They love their son dearly. Truly. And they don’t mind that their brilliant, charming, and admittedly adorable boy is becoming—dare they say—famous.

What they do mind, however, is the kind of people that fame attracts.

They want Wemmbu’s future partner to be able to keep up with their family’s lifestyle. Someone financially stable—secure without relying on Wemmbu or the Blade name—and, most importantly, someone who genuinely loves their son, not the life that comes with him.

It’s not that his fanbase includes people who dream of pursuing him romantically—that much is expected. Dream knows how that feels.

It’s that, in their honest opinion, many of those admirers are far too eager to chase a life of luxury they could never sustain on their own.

And that?

That is simply unacceptable.

So, as their concerns steadily grow—amplified further by Wemmbu’s not-so-subtle hints about wanting a relationship in his interviews—they decide to do what any good parents would do:

Communicate.

After all, they aren’t strict. Far from it. Wemmbu has always had freedom—curfews aside—and when it comes to love, they’ve never cared who he chooses or how he identifies.

All they want is for him to be happy.

…with one small condition. 

Whats that condition you ask?

Never bring home—infact don't even think of pursuing a relationship with someone if they can't sustain you and your lifestyle.

Or in other words—far less refined than the rest of their lives would suggest:

“If you ain’t got no money, take your broke ass home.”