Chapter Text
Act 1: “Can’t Get You out of My Head”
Vernon notices things because nobody expects him to.
That’s one advantage of biding your time. Observing first. Speaking second.
People talked around him freely. Fell apart beside him casually. Assumed his silence meant disinterest when really? It meant that he was watching everything carefully – carefully enough to know when not to intervene.
Which was why this situation was becoming genuinely painful to watch.
Joshua Hong is in love with Lee Seokmin.
Genuinely.
Pathetically.
Hopelessly.
Still? They both haven’t figured it out yet.
Or? Maybe only Joshua knew.
Honestly? That makes it worse.
Vernon realized it during a Wednesday night in Studio B.
Not because of some dramatic confession. Not because Joshua said anything obvious. Or… Jeonghan forbids, does anything pathetic – that would feed Jeonghans teasing for weeks to come.
Vernon realized it because Seokmin walked in exhausted, dropped directly onto the couch beside Joshua, and without even looking, reached for Joshua’s hand like muscle memory.
Joshua gave it to him instantly. No hesitation. No surprise.
Their fingers interlocking automatically while Seokmin complained about singing his voice hoarse while leaning his entire body to Joshua’s side.
Vernon stared at them from across the room.
Neither of them seemed aware they were doing it.
That was the terrifying part.
Joshua hummed absently while balancing a laptop on his other knee and scrolling through lyrics as he listened to Seokmin complain. Seokmin keeps talking in soft, sleepy bursts, rubbing his thumb lazily against Joshua’s knuckles between sentences.
Then Seokmin mumbled, “I think everyone hates me today.”
Joshua didn’t even glance at him, “No, they don’t.”
“You didn’t see Woozi’s face.”
“I did.”
“And?”
“He always looks like that.”
“True,” Seokmin grumbles.
Seokmin sighs dramatically and slides further sideways until he was basically laying on Joshua’s lap.
Joshua adjusted immediately so Seokmin would be more comfortable.
Easy.
Instinctive.
Like he’d build his body around accommodating Seokmin without realizing it.
Vernon suddenly felt like looking away. Like he’s intruding in something that was private.
Not because they were dating.
God, if they were dating this would actually be less humiliating… and depressing.
No.
This was worse.
It was two people sitting on a couch. On the cusp of something life-changing while pretending they were just seeking comfort from a friend.
Later that night, Seokmin fell asleep.
Again.
Because apparently Lee Seokmin treated Joshua like an emotional support, and conveniently, a pillow.
Vernon sat at the desk pretending to edit audio while Joshua sat frozen under the weight of Seokmin sleeping on his lap.
The room was quiet, except for the low buzz of electronics and Seokmin’s soft breathing.
Joshua looked down at him carefully.
Too carefully.
Like every glance had to be measured, else it becomes too dangerous.
Vernon watched Joshua’s expression change in tiny increments.
Fondness first.
Then helplessness.
Then something heavier Joshua immediately tried to hide.
Ah.
There it is.
Joshua lightly pushed Seokmin’s hair away from his forehead.
Ever the gentleman.
Please.
Not romantic enough to be undeniable.
Definitely not platonic enough to survive scrutiny.
Vernon looked away.
Suddenly the room felt intimate in a way he wasn’t supposed to feel or witness.
Joshua noticed him looking away.
Their eyes met.
Joshua immediately dropped his hand from Seokmin’s hair.
Too fast.
Vernon confirmed it then.
Not suspicion.
Not anymore.
Confirmation.
Joshua loved Seokmin.
Badly.
Truly.
And judging from the way panic flashed across Joshua’s face for a second – Joshua knew that Vernon knew.
Interesting.
Vernon leaned back slowly in his chair.
“You know,” he said carefully, “most people would just look for an actual pillow.”
Joshua looked embarrassed for one full second before realizing that Vernon was teasing him.
Then he relaxed slightly.
“Shut up.”
Vernon nodded toward Seokmin.
“Does he do that all the time?”
Joshua looked down at the sleeping Seokmin on his lap, comfortable where he was.
“...yeah.”
“You ever tell him no?”
Joshua didn’t answer.
He couldn’t.
How could he?
That was enough for Vernon – He studied them a second longer.
Then he asked, “Do you want him to stop?”
Joshua’s face changed.
Only a little.
Small enough not to be noticed.
If you haven’t spent most of your life training in the same room for the same dream.
Ah.
That's the real tragedy.
Joshua looked exhausted as he admitted quietly, “No. I don’t.”
Vernon suddenly understood the shape of the problem.
Joshua didn’t want less of Seokmin.
He wanted more.
More honesty.
More certainty.
More permission.
But he would rather suffer quietly than ask for it.
Vernon started noticing more once he confirmed it.
It’s lovely if you think about it in a positive manner.
Joshua and Seokmin were still themselves. Still Joshua and Seokmin.
They share earphones. Stole food off of each other’s plates. Lingered around each other after schedules. Disappeared into late-night studio sessions alone.
But once Vernon saw it, he couldn’t unsee it.
Every interaction looked and felt loaded now.
Like watching two people juggle lit matches over a puddle of gasoline.
And Seokmin—
God.
Seokmin made it impossible.
Not on purpose.
Never on purpose.
He was too much of a good person to actually lead someone around.
Which was why this was bad.
He made it impossible.
One afternoon in the practice room, Seokmin walked straight past everyone else and draped himself across Joshua’s back dramatically.
“I’m so tired,” he announced to the entire room.
Joshua nearly folded forward from the sudden weight.
“You’re heavy.”
“You love me.”
The room laughed automatically.
Joshua did as well.
But Vernon saw that delay. That half-second pause before Joshua joined in.
Saw the way that Joshua looked down afterward. Saw that he looked away instead of looking at Seokmin.
Tiny things.
Dangerous things.
Seokmin kept talking.
“Josh! Want to get food later?”
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“If you’re paying for it”
“I paid last time!” Seokmin complained.
“You looked at me all sad before handing your card over. That is not the same as paying.” Joshua teased.
Seokmin complained more.
Joshua laughed properly this time.
Real.
Warm.
Gone.
Seokmin immediately smiled at him. Looking at Joshua through the mirrors in their practice room. Like he’d won something.
And suddenly, Vernon had the deeply uncomfortable realization that Seokmin was emotionally orbiting Joshua just as badly.
The difference was Joshua knew it mattered. On the other hand, Seokmin still thought this was safe.
The next worst thing happened by accident.
As it always did.
Vernon walked into Studio B around 2 AM, expecting it to be empty.
Instead, Joshua was sitting on the floor beside the couch while Seokmin lay stretched out above him half-asleep, hand playing with Joshua’s hair.
Music played softly from the speakers.
Neither of them noticed Vernon enter.
Seokmin was mumbling something drowsy.
“Your hair is so soft Josh.”
Joshua’s voice answered quietly.
“Yeah? I use a good conditioner,” he laughed.
“I like it here.”
Joshua didn’t answer that one.
Vernon coughed.
They both looked at him.
“Hey,” Vernon said. Waving his hand once.
“Nonnie,” Seokmin greeted sleepily. Like Vernon walking into a dark studio at two in the morning was perfectly normal.
Vernon looked at him.
Then at Joshua.
Then at Seokmin’s hand, still tangled loosely in Joshua’s hair.
“Am I interrupting something?”
Joshua’s eyes widened. Panicked.
Seokmin blinked, confused. “No?”
Vernon nodded slowly. “Okay.”
Joshua cleared his throat and shifted away just enough for Seokmin’s hand to fall from his hair. The movement was small, but Vernon saw the loss of it register on Joshua’s face before he could hide it.
That was the thing about Joshua.
He was graceful about everything.
Everything except wanting.
Seokmin sat up a little, rubbing his eyes. “Why are you here?”
“I work here.”
“At this time?” Seokmin said, looking at the clock.
“You’re literally horizontal on company furniture.”
Seokmin considered this. “Fair.”
Joshua laughed softly, but he still wouldn’t look at Vernon.
Guilty.
Not because he had done anything wrong.
Because he had been caught feeling too much.
Vernon hated that for him.
He stepped farther into the room and dropped the convenience store bag onto the table. “Brought food.”
Seokmin perked up instantly. “You’re my favorite person.”
Joshua went still.
Only for a second.
One stupid second.
Then Seokmin reached blindly toward the bag, entirely unaware that he had just put a knife somewhere soft.
Vernon watched Joshua smile.
Watched him survive it.
“Thought I was your favorite person,” Joshua said lightly.
Seokmin looked over at him, mouth already full of kimbap.
“You are.”
Joshua blinked.
Seokmin swallowed and said it like it was obvious. Like it cost nothing. Like it couldn’t possibly ruin anyone.
“You’re different.”
Vernon almost closed his eyes.
Jesus Christ.
Joshua’s smile softened before he could stop it.
“Different how?”
Seokmin shrugged, suddenly shy in the way he got when he was too tired to perform around his feelings.
“I don’t know. You’re just… you.”
Silence settled.
Not awkward.
Worse.
Tender.
Joshua looked at him like he wanted to ask something dangerous.
Like, What does that mean?
Like, Do you know what you’re doing to me?
Like, Could you please say it in a way I’m allowed to keep?
But he didn’t.
Of course he didn’t.
He only reached for the food bag and said, “Eat before you pass out.”
Seokmin smiled.
Joshua smiled back.
And Vernon, standing there with cold coffee in one hand and the terrible knowledge of both of them in the other, thought:
This is going to end badly.
Not because they didn’t love each other.
That would have been easier.
No.
It was going to end badly because one of them thought love was obvious, and the other thought love needed to be chosen out loud.
And neither of them had figured out they were speaking different languages yet.