Chapter Text
(RadioStatic AU: MHA x H.B)
(Multiple Decades Earlier: Human World)
“Everyone, give it up for our favorite radio star… Shota Aizawa!”
The audience of Musutafu cheered animatedly, encouraging the young man who strolled on stage with the air of a performer perfectly within his role.
Little did they know how far his role took him, most days.
“Ah! Haha, well, what hearty applause! Please, please, be seated, Friends.
Ahem. It’s my sincerest pleasure to spend my evening here with all of you! The age of Radio is only growing in popularity, and no doubt we shall evolve ever higher in communication revolutions!
Though, of course, the radio will forever remain king of the technological era! As if I’d ever let anything… or anyone… steal that crown, mm?”
“...”
He released his grip on the microphone, realizing his inner frustration against evolution had momentarily showed itself. With another clearing of throat, he straightened, adjusted his suit and tie, and raised his champagne glass with a new energy.
“A-Anyway! A heartwarmed thanks to everyone who has supported my empire in its journey from the bottom to the very top! Enjoy the party, Friends, and a wonderful evening to you!”
The previously awkward silence gladly erupted into an admiring standing ovation as he exited stage right and headed off to change for the festivities, as well.
While pulling together the minimal amount of conversation required, Shota kept a watchful eye on his surroundings. Police… Any suspicious fellow guests… One always had to mind his safety when the law posed quite the enemy as of late.
“Uhm… I-I don’t know if I can bear to marry you, Sir, y-you have to understand!”
“Rei, I don’t want to hear anything more about it! We’re in public so just shut your mouth right now!”
“But that’s no-”
“I said, quiet, Woman!”
His attention caught, Shota felt his shoulders rise. Who was…
Searching… He abandoned his glass of drink and made his way through the crowd.
Searching…
…Bingo.
Tapped him on the shoulder, bright smile. Performance.
“Ahhhh, Mister… Todoroki! Can I call you Enji? Mm, I must say it is just spectacular to meet you face to face!
Is this… oh, your sister?” He could tell this woman wasn’t, but pissing off victims was an amusement he cherished.
The redhead man stiffened, clearly offended. “Good heavens, of course not! She is my fiance, and we will be wed soon… It’s nothing of your concern, however, Mister Aizawa.”
He looked at the white-haired woman. Her silver eyes showed fear and she was trying to stand as far away from her so-called love as possible.
This just wouldn’t do.
–One Crime Later–
“Wow, this is a lot of blood… He was a fighter, that’s for sure.” He wiped his brow, ignoring the smear of dark red that painted his forehead after this, and continued digging to make a deep enough hole.
“All the better, to prove how much he deserved it… Couldn’t even take his fate with conviction. He fucking had this coming, sure a-”
*Crunch*
*Swsshhh*
*Chk-chk*
“What was that?!” His head shot up, scanning the woods around him. Footsteps… the cock of a gun…
“Oh, hey, there’s one! Shoot, Dude, quick!”
“Wha- NO!!! I’m not a-”
*BAM*
(PRESENT DAY: HELL)
[“What’s wrong, Sweetheart, don’t want to be reminded of how desperate you were for attention back then?”]
The Television-Based Demoness’ grip on her desk tightened to the point of breaking off two large chunks of wood. Keigo and Nemuri exchanged a look but said nothing.
“That mother-fucking, out-dated son of a Bitch!!! If this entire plan with overthrowing Heaven goes through I swear to- W-Who am I even swearing to at this point?” She paused in her outburst to look to her allies questioningly.
The Moth Woman only folded her wings with a shrug. “Not the slightest clue, Honey, we’re all sinners here. But this whole rivalry with you and the one Overlord is beginning to bore me.”
A huff. “Then go back to the strip club and “entertain” yourself for as long as ya like, Puerto Rico. My personal… issues… are none of your concern for the moment!”
“For the last time I’m from fucking Florida!!!” She threw down her vape and stormed out.
Keigo didn’t react to this, simply kicking his feet up and double-checking an income of fabric for the boutique he and Yuu ran together. (Combined these two play the role of Velvette.)
“The Slut has a point, though, Boss. What’s the big deal with this Shota guy anyway?”
Emi’s antennae flicked annoyedly, but she ran both hands over her face to compose before opening her mouth to answer…
[“The “big deal”, Sewing-Needles-for-brains, is that someone is convinced she doesn’t need me anymore! Why, only seventy years ago you were such a little shadow just begging for praise! Tsk, tsk, Miss Emi, growing independent all of a sudden?
Television wouldn’t have its sound if it weren't for Radio, you know… Don’t You Forget that.”]
“Fuck you, stop eavesdropping on everything!!!” She sent out an electrical shock that fried the speaker being listened through. “What Poison am I bothering myself with these days?!”
“The kind that probably tastes pretty bad, if you know what I mean~...” Came from down the hall, and Emi threw one of the chunks of her desk towards the voice.
“NEMURI I THOUGHT YOU WENT TO YOUR CLUB!!! Ugh, Cari ignes aeterni doloris, quid feci ut huiusmodi vitam mererer?”
“You know Latin?” Yuu had entered quietly, and currently leaned on the couch behind Keigo.
Two voices answered– one static-y from God knows where and the other in the room with them– with palpable irritation.
“OF COURSE I/SHE DO/DOES, IDIOT, WE”RE ALL DEMONS AND ANGELS!!!”
“THAT’S IT!!!” Emi rose up a few cables and ran to the window. “You’re definitely around here, somewhere, Dumbass, get your ass out of hiding!”
[“You’d prefer that, wouldn’t you? I’m an introvert, Honey, I’m not engaging in social interaction unless absolutely necessary.”]
“For an introvert,” she grumbled darkly, “you have quite the energy reserves to fuck with me.”
“WHAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT~??????” Down the hall again. Emi thumped her head against the wall.
“Not like that, Nemuri, get out of here already!!! Damn!”
“Tch, denial.” Yuu whispered, and Keigo nodded sagely.
Their boss shot them a hateful glare, but was cut off in correcting them by an amused chuckle.
[“No, no, with all the obsession brewing in that pathetic little office, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was something you hoped for deep down…”]
“I don’t appreciate the “deep” wording, Loser, and that’s rich coming from the likes of you!”
[“At least I’m not trying to kill God!!!”]
“At least I’m not wasting my never-ending life at a fucking hotel because my cannibal mommy has me on a leash like a fucking dog!”
A crimson streak of lightning flashed through the building, and in a puff of angry red smoke appeared the Radio Demon himself. Tall, dressed… well, fashion is relative anyways… and holding a long, powerful staff.
[“How the actual hell do you know that?!!! At least I didn’t die by getting my head stuck in a fucking monitor!!!”]
She also sparked up electricity, this version a light blue. “AT LEAST I DIDN’T REJECT THE BEST OFFER OF A LIFETIME THEN VANISH FOR SEVEN WHOLE YEARS DOING WHATEVER SHIT!!!”
[“AHA!!!”] He pointed an accusing finger with a smirk. [“You are still sensitive about that! How endearing, you still give a shit about me, don’t you~... Missing me while I was gone, were we?”]
“W-Wha-?! Ah… n-no! No, I-Idiot, w-why would I?! I’ve got a team, I’ve got a dream, and all I’m gonna do is-”
[“Yes, yes, we’ve heard all the B.S thank you very much and exit stage right! Round of applause for the Bitch who thinks she stands a chance against all of Heaven combined! What. A. Masterpiece.”] He spat the last word, giving a slow clap the whole time.
The cables around her pulsed, ready to attack, but he gave her no chance to make a move, using his staff to generate a frequency that temporarily scrambled her connection to the network.
[“I’ll leave you with a piece of advice, Darling. The next time you wish to kidnap my ward to bait his father– which, fair, but still– think twice, since it seems you’ve never quite realized who you provoke when you threaten UA.”]
“Oh she’s realized it alright,” Keigo muttered, earning him a zap to the face from both parties. In response he only rolled his eyes. “These two are such Addicts.”
No reply to this came as Shota stepped closer. Emi, as always, refused to back away, and the two were soon inches away.
[“Better luck next time, Leech. You’re nothing without the other Shees, and you know it. You’re nothing without me, and you know that far, far more intimately.”]
“Interesting choice of words.” She countered bravely, pushing him back. “Last I checked, Nemuri was the flirt out of all of us here.”
“STILL HERE, BY THE WAY!!! THE TEA IS TOO HOT TO BE LEFT UN-DRUNK!!!”
“NO ONE CARES, SEX-TAPE!!!!” Emi shouted after her, though the laughter was unmistakable.
Shota ignored all of this, replying to her last statement. [“I’m most certainly not flirting with you, Miss, that’s indisputably your job between us two, mm?
Take care. Or don’t, I don’t give a fuck.”] He backed up, used his staff to nudge her hat off of her head, then vanished with an eerie grin.
A long silence in the office, before Yuu let out a low whistle.
“I’d kill for sexual tension like that with someone… We’re such Losers, Baby.”
“Girl, shush!” Keigo clapped his hand over her mouth, expecting their leader to lash out once again.
However, Emi suddenly appeared quite disturbed. She stood dead quiet, one hand braced against the bottom of her screen, the other arm folded tightly at her torso.
Two bright pink pixels had lit up on either side of her face, though when her two allies cleared their throats these fizzled away.
“T-The damn… stupid, fricking, piece of-… F-Fuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkk…..” She covered her screen with both hands and groaned, leaning against her desk as before, this time with an air of insecurity.
She was forced from her emotional turmoil by the urgency of needing a new plan, but not a hopeless soul dared doubt her perseverance.
She would never give up on messing with her “barely-audible” other half.
Such was a day in Hell.