Chapter Text
Snow White was not happy about Hawk and Rose's relationship. And anyone who knew her would say, "Well, where’s the news in that?" Well, nothing new about that, but let me finish.
You see, ever since Rose had taken matters into her own hands and, with a lot of encouragement from her friends, assuring her that Hawk saw her as more than a friend, confessed her feelings, they had become inseparable.
Or at least Hawk would not detach himself from Rose. Rose went to the right? You could hear Hawk shouting: "Wait for me, love," like a puppy following its owner. Rose threw herself into the ocean? Hawk was two centimeters away from her, probably ready to drown too out of romantic solidarity. In short, Hawk did not leave her alone for even a moment and did everything she wanted. Not because Rose forced him to, but because he wanted to.
And Snow White did not like that.
Not at all.
Her grandson was a fairy tale prince, not one of the seven little goats emotionally dependent on their mother.
But the problem, according to her, had started much earlier.
Already back in the Regal Academy days, she was convinced that Hawk’s crush on that crazy pumpkin that was Rose was only a passing thing, a youthful mistake. She believed it was some sort of temporary curse, similar to the fairy tale scenario where someone is turned into a frog for a few weeks.
Before they met, in fact, Hawk had been an obedient boy; he had never disobeyed her and listened to her. Then Rose had entered his life by falling from a dragon, and suddenly the polite and obedient prince that Snow White had raised had started getting into trouble, ending up in messes and constantly having his grades in danger.
And this was even before they became a couple. Honestly, Snow White was surprised that Regal Academy was still standing after five years with Rose in its hallways.
Snow White swore it was a prerogative of Cinderella’s descendants to make sure they ruined her offspring.
After all, Clara had brought Prince nothing but trouble. But at least Clara had stopped showing herself after Regal Academy and her son had been able to become a proper hero.
Rose, no. Oh no, Rose absolutely had to confess her feelings to Hawk and ruin everyone’s existence. Apparently drama was a hereditary trait in Cinderella’s family.
So, when in the last year Hawk and Rose got together, Snow White told herself that everyone makes mistakes and that, the moment they left Regal Academy, Hawk would realize how little elegance and suitability Rose had.
After all, it was obvious, right? One only had to look at them. Hawk was refined, polite, and noble. Rose was impulsive, loud, and seemed to attract disasters the way Snow White’s beauty attracted the Evil Queen.
And that was precisely why Snow White had always thought that the perfect girl for Hawk was Ling Ling.
Ah, Ling Ling. Her dream granddaughter-in-law since the first time she had seen her and Hawk compete together. She was perfect, charming, attentive, intelligent, beautiful, balanced, with exquisite taste, polite, capable, and a bunch of other things Rose had never been and never would be.
If Rose was a badly made potion that risked exploding in your face, Ling Ling was fine tea served in exquisitely decorated porcelain.
At first she had simply hoped that, even if they were on different teams, Hawk and Ling Ling would recognize each other’s perfection and start dating. Then Ling Ling had been left without a team, and Snow White had seized the opportunity immediately.
She had pushed Cinderella to put her on Hawk’s same team. Sure, she had had to use excuses like "Rose was Ling Ling’s first friend; it will do her good to be on a team with her" or "I know this way they would be the biggest team at Regal Academy, but we have seen bigger ones with our children. And if you are discouraged by their numerical advantage, we can make a separate point section for them. " But in the end she had achieved her goal.
And the plan was perfect.
Initially, they would be on the same team; then they would realize they were the only truly capable ones in the group. During missions, they would grow closer, they would fall in love, and she would finally have the perfect granddaughter-in-law. A story worthy of being told by the enchanted books in Regal Academy’s library, not a romantic tragedy driven by chaos and terribly tasteless high heels.
Perfect plan, right?
Yes, if it had not been for Rose and Travis.
Those damned little bastards were always in the middle. A dance? Travis was attached to Ling Ling like glue while Rose circled Hawk, or Hawk was chased by princesses running to Rose to be hidden like a damsel in distress. A mission? Rose and Travis monopolized the couple’s time. Prince challenge? Travis took Ling Ling, and Rose practically threw herself onto Hawk with the delicacy of a dragon smashing through a tower.
But at the time Snow White still thought, "Yes, okay, Hawk has a little crush on Rose, Rose on him, and Travis is in love with Ling Ling. But there is no way in heaven or on earth that Ling Ling returns the feelings of that beast obsessed with drawing."
And she was absolutely sure of this conclusion. After all, Ling Ling was intelligent. Or at least that was what she believed.
Unfortunately, in their second year at the Regal Academy, Travis and Ling Ling ended up getting together.
And as if that were not enough, two years later, Hawk and Rose also finally made their relationship official.
That was when Snow White started thinking that Regal Academy was cursed. Because apparently that school had a strange obsession with pairing exceptional people with people who would trip over their own feet before even saving the kingdom.
From there it was a disaster.
If before being with Rose, Hawk was only a bit rebellious—still unheard of according to her but at least only a bit rebellious—after becoming Rose’s official boyfriend, he transformed into a nightmare.
He did not allow her to say anything; he did not allow her and Rose to be alone in the same room, all just because once Snow White had asked Rose what her plans were beyond being obsessed with shoes and incompetence. A legitimate question, according to her. The little spy had run crying to Hawk, and Snow White had had to endure hours of lectures from the whole family.
She had even had to apologize to Rose. To Rose. Probably the most humiliating moment of her entire existence after the apple incident.
And the worst thing? Nobody else seemed to be against that relationship.
Her son? He loved Rose. Her daughter-in-law? She adored the crazy girl. Her granddaughter? God forbid Snow White said one tiny true thing about Rose without Fala immediately starting to defend her with sword drawn like a knight protecting the kingdom from an invasion.
Snow White could not understand why only she noticed how bad Rose was for Hawk.
And the years only worsened the situation.
Around their twenties the two were not only still happily together, but Hawk had even asked for the family ring in order to propose to Rose.
The family ring.
The one that was meant to have ended up on the finger of an elegant and refined queen, not a girl who would likely lose the wedding ring in a swimming competition against a mermaid.
Meanwhile, Snow White had also been forced to watch how Ling Ling had been a fantastic influence on Travis.
The clumsy boy, thanks to the warrior, had become a capable, intelligent young man, a true future king. And Snow White was completely certain that it had been Ling Ling’s merit. The girl had pushed him in the right direction and had helped him improve, and every time Snow White thought about this, she could not help but think about how Hawk and Ling Ling would have excelled together if only things had gone the proper way.
But obviously no. Because apparently Cupid had decided to get drunk and throw names randomly out of a magic hat.
And after two years spent watching her grandson attached to Rose like a magnet, Snow White truly could not take it anymore.
So she decided that the time had come to intervene with harsh measures.
No more little comments. No more attempts to leave Hawk and Ling Ling alone in the same room.
It was time to get rid of Rose and Travis.
But how do you get rid of two of the heirs of the most powerful families in the world you live in? Because sure, eliminating an unwanted relationship was simple when it involved peasants or secondary fairy tale characters.
But Rose was not only Cinderella’s granddaughter; no, that would have been too easy. She was also the possessor of the most powerful magic in existence. Magic that could transform everything around her into very painful things to throw at people (namely Snow White).
And Travis was not only the heir of the Beast family, but also the person who, if he wanted to, could wipe out her kingdom with one swing of his wand. Because apparently the universe had decided that the two biggest troublemakers of their generation also had to be armed to the teeth.
It did not help that Cinderella, Adam, and Belle were not estatic with how she treated their grandchildren, so her relationship with them was already quite tense.
If only Astoria had not started a relationship with Shawn; at least she would have had Rapunzel on her side, but no, Astoria absolutely had to overcome her fear of getting distracted from studying and failing to become headmistress of Regal Academy and finally get together with Shawn.
Because apparently in that generation nobody was interested anymore in politically advantageous marriages or high standards; no, everyone was in love. What a disgrace.
And apparently the two cousins, despite how different they were, cared about each other, so God forbid Snow White said something like, "Travis is slowing Ling Ling down a lot in life"—which Snow White would like to specify was absolutely true—without Shawn getting angry together with his grandparents, and with Astoria joining in out of anger too, and if Astoria went, Rapunzel followed, and once again Snow White had received lectures from everyone and had had to apologize to Travis.
Another humiliating thing. The list was becoming almost as long as the one of curses in ancient fairy tales.
Snow White had no allies against these cursed relationships. Zero. Nada. There was no flesh around the core, as people said in her family. And honestly, she was starting to suspect that the whole world had gone mad.
At first Snow White was convinced that at least the Iron Fan Queen and Bull King would be on her side in her opposition to Ling Ling's and Travis’s relationship. They were Ling Ling’s grandparents; they had raised her and made her the excellent warrior she was; she was sure that they, like her, would oppose that romantic horror.
But no.
Of fucking course not.
Because the universe had to give her another gigantic middle finger.
So, when back in the Regal Academy days, Snow White approached the two rulers to gently and very subtly ask what they thought about their granddaughter’s relationship. Instead of receiving poisonous answers coated in sugar, or a “They are young, let them have fun,” or the one she hoped for the most—unconditional hatred—she received a bright smile from both of them.
The Iron Fan Queen practically shone brighter than the enchanted armors in the royal halls while she said the following:
“Oh, we are thrilled. Our Ling Ling is so happy. We have never seen her smile this much. It does not hurt that her boyfriend is a gentleman, a dear boy. I am so happy they are together.”
And Bull King nodded beside her as if Travis were the perfect prince straight out of an Eastern legend instead of the boy who probably still tripped over carpets or absolutely nothing.
Then she had to endure hours. Hours. Of continuous stories and compliments about the couple or about Travis.
At that point, Snow White believed that once Ling Ling and Travis had left Regal Academy, the rulers would finally come to realize how useless Travis was. One thing was tolerating a teenage crush between students, but another was seriously accepting that boy into the family.
But fucking no.
Apparently, all Travis had to do was learn Chinese, offer to hand-copy the family scrolls, and serve tea exactly the way the queen liked it whenever he was in the castle. That was enough for the two warrior rulers to practically throw their blessing onto him. The only thing missing was for them to roll out a red carpet to the altar and put the ring in his hand themselves while begging him to marry Ling Ling.
Snow White swore she was the only sane person in the world.
So yes, Snow White was alone in all this. Practically like a princess in a tower, but without a prince arriving with polished armor to save her.
For a while she had thought about allying herself with some villain, like Ruby, who had always been obsessed with Hawk, but then she knew it would backfire on her.
Because in fairy tales, alliances with villains are like poisoned apples: they seem like a solution, but in the end they always come with non-negotiable consequences. And if the villain under truth serum had revealed the alliance with Snow White, that would have been her premature ending. And not in the romantic sense of the last time.
So Snow White spent hours meditating and studying, as she told others—with the dignity of a queen busy with matters of utmost importance—but in truth she stared into the Magic Mirror for hours, hoping that sooner or later the mirror would decide to cooperate instead of limiting itself to showing images as answers to questions. The bastard thought he was funny when to the question "How can I break the two couples apart?” He responded with the image of a raspberry or the two couples doing romantic things.
She stared for hours and hours into the mirror, searching for something, anything that could give her a solution, as if staring at it long enough would make an answer written in golden letters appear.
Back then Clara had been framed by Cinderella’s stepsisters—and she had to thank them; those had been peaceful years—but now everyone had seen how Rose was the bearer of the crystal shoes that appeared at her feet on command. A detail that, in fairy tale logic, should have been considered an “epic event" but that for Snow White was more like a manufacturing defect of fate.
And Travis had full control of the Beast mask, as if magical objects had decided to assign themselves to the worst possible problems.
So she could not steal them and accuse them of having lost them; she could not even afford to accuse them of being villains because she herself, together with the other Regal Academy professors, had not noticed that Vicky was the rotten apple from the beginning. A detail not exactly irrelevant, like a dragon in the living room that nobody notices until it burns the curtains.
And obviously Rose and Travis had had to throw the proof, or rather, the evidence, in everyone’s face, as if fairy tales had suddenly decided to become unaccommodating toward personal interpretations.
Without them there would not be a Regal Academy, not to mention the fact that their political position was too strong.
Not only were they professionally recognized heroes even before reaching adulthood—something Snow White continued to consider deeply questionable, because in fairy tales heroes should at least have the time to become such calmly and with a minimum of decorum, a good example being Prince and Hawk—but Rose also had a close friendship with practically every important character, even Dragon King, as if social connections were a magical gift distributed with excessive generosity.
And Travis was no different. After all, beast magic had protected them from many dangers and brought rain to the Dry Lands, as if the world itself had decided to treat him like a divine intervention rather than a problem. He was a person held in great consideration but did not take advantage of it, which, for Snow White, was almost worse: it is difficult to fight someone who does not even offer you a moral weak point.
So Snow White knew that they were both protected by everyone else and by accusations without crushing proof. And in fairy tales, when you do not have crushing proof, you are not a strategist in your kingdom… you are just someone watching the ending written by others and finding it deeply unfair.
It was during one of the Evil Queen’s attacks that the perfect plan finally came to her: a brilliant one, an untouchable one, a plan for which she had to thank her stepmother. It was time for Snow White to poison something. Because, obviously, every crisis is always solved with a little poison: practically a family tradition.
To carry out her plan, she took advantage of the ball held in her own castle. It was an event planned for months, and she was slightly sorry to ruin it, but it was the only controlled environment she had available. And “controlled” was a very optimistic word to describe a place full of heroes, wizards, and legendary families with the habit of noticing everything… except what she would have wanted.
The Beast family castle had too many spying pieces of furniture—wardrobes, drawers, chairs with opinions of their own—so impossible. Cinderella’s castle was full of spying shoemaker goblins and pom-poms everywhere, and their privacy died before even entering. The Rapunzel family castle was full of books, so eating or drinking was not allowed without feeling judged by at least three encyclopedias. And King LeFrog’s castle gave her chills from disgust because of all the insects, which in that case also seemed to have an active social role.
So yes, that was the only option, and it was also poetic that she would poison someone in her own castle, right?
Anyway, the party was in full swing and everything was going perfectly. Everyone laughed, danced, and ate; nobody suspected anything bad would happen that evening. Because in fairy tales collective optimism is a formal invitation to disaster.
Snow White was standing at the edge of the room observing everything, and you may say, "Isn't that a bit suspicious?” Well, no: it was perfectly normal for whoever organized the ball to stand at the edge observing the whole hall looking for problems or imperfections. It was practically a royal duty. Nobody suspected anything. Or at least that was what she hoped with a very fragile faith in other people’s intelligence.
She mentally reviewed the people present, but above all the couples. She took note of Astoria and Shawn dancing near Gerald and Odette (another couple Snow White believed was terrible, but it was not her business to systematically destroy every happy relationship in the kingdom… for now) and of Adam, Belle, Buffalo King, and the Iron Fan Queen talking on a sofa, something that made her frown.
She should have been the one leading those conversations with the Iron Fan Queen and Bull King about how perfect their grandchildren were for each other and dreaming with them about great-grandchildren, but evidently fate had decided to assign that task to less qualified people, something she would solve tonight.
She took a deep breath and continued.
Cinderella was once again surrounded by her legendary friends, because being popular with important characters was unfairly easy in that family, but that evening it would come in handy.
Dragon King was on the balcony reserved for him speaking with Scheherazade and Prince Charming. Prince was speaking with Travis’s parents. Rose’s parents were doing their usual clown acts in a corner because Rose had inherited from David the habit of asking inappropriate questions to fairy tale characters, and Clara always had to stop him; it was practically the only sensible thing she did.
Alicia and her grandfather were solving riddles while dancing the polka, which was strange because at that moment there was no polka but only waltz, but she did not have the nerves that evening for more bullshit, so she decided to ignore it. Others were imitating them, much to Snow White’s great displeasure.
Travis and Ling Ling danced while looking into each other’s eyes in a disgustingly sweet way, so close that it was impossible to tell where one started and the other ended; Ling Ling blushed every time Travis whispered something in her ear. It was simply disgusting in her eyes; not only did those two pay attention to nothing else, but they were probably whispering inappropriate things right under her eyes. Clearly, Travis was ruining Ling Ling.
“But,” she thought to herself with a smirk that would have made her stepmother’s skin crawl, “let them enjoy their last evening together.”
Meanwhile, Rose and Hawk were in a corner, with Hawk practically begging to be spoiled and cuddle by Rose. Snow White could not help but be disgusted by her grandson’s completely unprincely behavior.
At the beginning of their relationship, Hawk at least tried to be as chivalrous as possible; now he spent every moment of parties like these preventing Rose from dancing with anyone he was not 100% sure was not interested in her, or dragging her into lonely corners or deserted balconies to be cuddled, as if Snow White did not already suffer enough during normal days.
If only there were still other maidens chasing Hawk. But ever since Rose had turned an entire flock of princesses who kept chasing him during a ball a year and a half ago into balls to kick around—declaring with absolute calm that “Princesses or not, you do not chase someone or pressure them into a relationship, no matter the gender or the title” before proceeding to kick every princess—Hawk had practically decided that had been the greatest romantic revolution of his life, had cried tears of joy, and had gotten on his knees begging Rose to never leave him. From that moment onward, no princess had approached him romantically.
But Snow White had to ignore the two couples and continue checking that everyone who was supposed to be there that evening was present.
With a bit of attention, she noticed Joy dancing while carrying a well-dressed Esquire Frog, while King LeFrog speked with his son and the Princess and the Pea in another corner. Meanwhile, Joy’s mother speked with Hawk’s mother: it seemed that every member of Regal Academy and their families was present.
Then there was Merlin, who was speking with some students who had approached him, probably expecting wisdom but finding themselves with… well, Merlin. Meanwhile, Merleena was being lifted up and played with by Mother Flower and Thumbelina. Merlin’s wife was among Cinderella’s friends on the balcony.
Melvin was glued to Sandra, the Evil Queen’s granddaughter, and they were whispering in a corner, which was not good because those rotten apples could ruin her plans. Especially Sandra.
So Snow White decided to intervene.
She approached the two, and, to their credit, they immediately became more guarded. They knew they had never been in her book of people to have a pleasant conversation with, so they immediately understood that something was wrong.
As soon as she approached them, Snow White tried to figure out what their plan was, but the two were good at avoiding interrogations, too good, so she had to resort to harsher methods and, addressing Sandra in a stern tone and a low voice, said, "Sandra, if you do not want to end up exiled like your grandmother, it is better that nothing happens tonight.”
That made the two step back and exchange worried looks, and Snow White could understand why. She certainly had never threatened anyone openly, and certainly not Sandra; not because she did not want to, but because people said dragon shit like, "You cannot mistreat Sandra just because of who her grandmother is,” and Snow White cared about people’s opinions, at least in the slitlest.
But tonight she could not allow those two rotten apples to ruin everything.
The threat, however, seemed to have worked, because Sandra and Melvin nodded and walked away with their heads lowered, though with Melvin placing a protective arm around Sandra.
Snow White wrinkled her nose; it seemed people always ended up with the worst possible match.
But anyway, it was almost time for the beginning of the plan, and she still had to finish the final touches.