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“What’s this?” asked Sangwon, looking closely at the little box Leo had left on the table.
“Your present,” Leo replied, urging him to take the box.
“I told you the only thing I wanted was to spend my birthday with you because it’s been ages since we’ve been able to spend more than a little time together,” Sangwon retorted. “You didn’t need to buy me anything else…”
Sangwon tried to refuse it because, from the very moment they’d met, Leo had done nothing but surprise him with one gift after another. The first of these had been a huge bouquet of flowers that now rested in a corner of the table where they were sitting. Leo had been waiting for him at the bus stop and had handed him the bouquet the moment Sangwon had got off the bus. That had caused a bit of a stir around them and Sangwon had ended up with red ears and cheeks, urging Leo to get them out of there as quickly as possible. After that, Leo had taken him to his favourite café, where he’d asked them to make a cake to his liking and had made him make a wish whilst blowing out the candles, singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to him whilst some of the people in the café watched the spectacle they were putting on. And finally, Leo had given him a wrapped package which turned out to be a t-shirt that Sangwon had wanted for ages, but hadn’t yet had the chance to buy because it was quite expensive.
Sangwon had thanked him for every single gift he’d received because they’d made him really happy, but he felt incredibly bad about accepting all those gifts from his friend when he’d told him he didn’t need anything… and now Leo was handing him yet another present. However, no matter how much he tried to refuse it, Leo insisted that it was the best gift of all and that he wouldn’t want to miss out on it, so Sangwon ended up accepting it reluctantly. The boy took the little box and opened it, finding inside a small stack of blank “wish vouchers” and a pen.
“You can write down everything you want me to do for you in them,” Leo explained. “They’re only valid for today, and I’ll only fulfil them if they’re reasonable things. If you ask me to buy you a house, I’ll sadly have to say no.”
Sangwon couldn’t help but let out a small smile at the comment as he took the cards out of the box. They were all identical, made in the same format, resembling an old cinema ticket, and had two distinct parts: at the top was written “vouch for one wish” in red letters on a white background, and at the bottom was a small space with a dotted line where he was supposed to write his wish. It looked as though he’d designed them himself, not something bought, and Sangwon felt a wave of warmth wash over his whole body because of it. Leo had already done so much for him that day, far more than Sangwon had asked of him, and every single thing had touched him deeply, but perhaps this was the gift he liked best of all… not because it meant he could ask Leo for anything, but because Leo seemed willing to do anything for him.
Knowing that made him feel both sad and happy in equal measure.
To Sangwon, Leo was the most important person in his life after his family; in fact, his family practically regarded him as another son. They had known each other for far too many years, spent far too much time together, sharing their lives and being there for one another in the good times, but also in the bad, when no one else had been there for them. All of that had made Leo indispensable to him, someone without whom Sangwon could not live. For Leo, it was pretty much the same. The older didn’t usually put his thoughts or feelings into words, but when it came to something important, he did… and Sangwon was also an important person to him. His one and only best friend, his only family in Seoul, the only person he could count on. That was what Leo had told him on several times.
And Sangwon should be happy because Leo considered him important in his life… but Sangwon wanted so much more.
He’d realised long ago that Leo was special, more than just a friend, perhaps, much more than a friend. Every time Leo treated him well, every time he helped him with something, every time he was simply there with him —unbelievably close, yet at the same time too far away— Sangwon could only wish for more. Selfishly, he needed so much more. However, Sangwon was also a realist and knew that if he asked Leo for more, it would make things awkward between them, that the bond between them would fray or simply cease to exist. For that very reason, Sangwon had ended up suppressing his feelings, acting only as the best friend Leo needed, because the one thing he couldn’t afford was to lose him.
Nevertheless, when Leo did things for him, when he showed him how important he was to him, how much he was willing to give for him, Leo made Sangwon feel hopeful. Perhaps it was too foolish of him to dream that they could have a future together, not just as best friends, but as something more, but there were moments when he couldn’t help it, moments like this very one.
Sangwon looked again at the stack of cards, the vouchers for a wish. Leo would do anything for him; that was what he’d told him, what he was willing to do for him, for his birthday. And Sangwon wanted to be selfish for once, to ask him for something completely impossible, perhaps to pass it off as a joke when Leo refused, something like asking him to be his boyfriend for the rest of the day. However, although Sangwon wanted to be selfish, although he loved Leo in that way, he also knew that was the one thing he couldn’t do. Not openly, at least. He could be selfish, just a little, asking Leo for things he couldn’t otherwise have, things that could still pass for something two friends —who trusted each other enough to feel at ease— might do. Sangwon wanted to spend that day with him, the rest of his birthday, because it had been weeks since they’d been able to spend more than a short while together. That was an important wish for him, a wish that would show him just how far he could go for Leo, a wish that could pass for that of a friend wanting to spend time with his best friend.
“I’ve got my first wish,” he said to Leo, lifting his head from the cards and looking him straight in the eyes.
“You don’t need to tell me,” Leo replied, with a smile. “Just write it down and I’ll do it.”
Sangwon nodded slowly and dropped the stack of cards onto the table, separating one from the rest, before taking the pen out of the little box and starting to write. He wasn’t sure whether Leo could actually grant this wish or not, but it was the only wish he could ask of him, being selfish for once, but without jeopardising their friendship in the process. Once he’d finished, he put the pen back in the box and also the rest of the cards before handing Leo the one on which he’d written his wish. Leo took it and their fingers brushed against each other for a second, causing Sangwon’s skin to prickle at the touch.
“Stay with me until midnight,” Leo read. Sangwon waited, his heart pounding too fast in his chest, for him to say something else, to tell him he couldn’t do it because he had another commitment, but Leo simply lifted his head, flashing a smile. “You know you’ve wasted a wish in a very silly way, don’t you?” he asked. “I was planning to stay with you until you kicked me out.”
“Really?” asked Sangwon, unable to believe it.
“Hmm,” Leo murmured, smiling. “You told me you wanted to spend the day with me because we haven’t been able to see each other much lately, and that you wanted that to be your present.” Leo tucked the card into his jacket pocket as he spoke. “I’ve got nowhere else to be but by your side.”
Sangwon felt his breath catch and his heart skip a beat before it began pounding wildly in his chest as he heard him say that. It didn’t help him at all with how he felt when Leo treated him so kindly; it didn’t help him manage his emotions, nor did it stop him from hoping for a future together where they were much more than just friends. Sangwon covered his face with his hands, trying to hide the blush he could feel spreading across his cheeks, and also trying not to let Leo see just how much the way he treated him affected him.
“Touched?” Leo asked him, sarcastically. “Try not to cry in public, or people will think I’m a terrible boyfriend who’s made his boy cry.”
Sangwon froze completely at that. He couldn’t have heard what he’d heard. Leo couldn’t have said what he’d said, could he? He knew Leo must have meant it as a joke; Leo loved to joke with him and Sangwon joked with Leo too sometimes; however, this was something Leo had never joked about before. Sangwon was quite sensitive; he used to get emotional very quickly at the slightest gesture, and it wasn’t unusual for Leo to have thought he’d covered his face because of that. Nor was it unusual for him to try to make him laugh with a joke so he wouldn’t think about what had made him emotional… but for the joke to be about being boyfriends, that was the first time Leo had ever said anything like that, and Sangwon didn’t know what to feel, what to think, what to want. Could he expect anything more from Leo? Could he ask him for anything more? Could he dream?
Sangwon slowly took his hands away from his face, only to find Leo watching him with a smile and a warm gaze. A slight shiver ran down his spine at that, and Sangwon felt the need to test him, to try, to push their relationship a little further, to see how far Leo would be willing to go for him. Leo had given him those cards so he could write down his wishes, and what he wanted most at that moment was for Leo to be his boyfriend.
“Then you could be a boyfriend who doesn’t make me cry and treats me well on my birthday,” he replied, trying not to let his quick heartbeat show in his voice, trying to make it sound playful, indifferent, teasing. Leo seemed surprised by his response, and Sangwon added, “That way, no one will think you’re a bad boyfriend.”
“Mmmmm… you’re right,” Leo murmured thoughtfully. “I should.” And, staring intently into his eyes, he continued, “You can wish for me to be a good boyfriend for the rest of the day and I’ll treat you as well as you deserve.”
That made Sangwon’s heart stop beating. There was no trace of the playful tone in his voice; he’d said it seriously, never taking his eyes off Sangwon’s, as if he really meant it, and Sangwon knew that if he didn’t seize that opportunity, if he let it slip away, he’d regret it for the rest of his life. He quickly grabbed another card and wrote on it the wish he hadn’t dared to voice before, handing it to Leo immediately and watching him smile as he read it.
“I’ll be your delighted boyfriend for the rest of the day,” he said. “The best boyfriend in the world.”
Sangwon watched him, waiting for him to burst out laughing, to tell him that it had been a perfect joke, but to stop wasting his wishes and use them for something worthwhile. However, Leo simply gave him a smile and tucked the card with his wish into his jacket, just as he had done before with the other one, without adding anything else, and went back to taking a slice of cake. It took Sangwon a few more moments to react, to be able to comprehend what had just happened, what he had just done… but the moment he did, a smile appeared on his lips. Leo was going to grant his wish to be his boyfriend for the rest of the day, for his birthday.
Perhaps, once the day was over, Sangwon would regret having done that, having put Leo in that situation; but Leo hadn’t refused, Leo had urged him to do it, and Leo had been willing to do it for him.
🎂🎂🎂
The afternoon went exactly as they’d planned from the start, and after leaving the café they went to an arcade nearby. It was a place they’d both visited often; a place where they had many memories from their teenage years, a place they loved returning to time and again to have a good time. Leo paid for the tokens, saying it was his duty to do so because it had been his idea to take him there and because it was his birthday and he should enjoy the day without worrying about anything else —Leo had also paid at the café when Sangwon wasn’t looking and hadn’t accepted any of his protests about paying, even if it was just half of what they’d consumed— and then led him from one machine to another, knowing perfectly well which were his favourite games, guiding him around the place with a hand on his waist, letting him win every game and smiling non-stop.
Sangwon didn’t feel that anything they were doing was in any way different from what they normally did. Leo had always behaved that way with him, had always looked out for him, had always tried to make him happy, to make him laugh, had always touched him in the same way, putting his arm around his shoulder to pull him closer or brushing the small of his back to guide him from one place to another. Nothing was different; nothing had changed, even though he’d agreed to fulfil his wish to be his boyfriend for the rest of his birthday. However, from the way people passing by looked at them, Sangwon could see that, from the outside, they must indeed look like a couple.
It wasn’t the first time they’d been stared at when they were together; Sangwon had noticed that people would look at them with a raised eyebrow, a twisted expression, or whispered about them as they passed by on many other times. That had always bothered him. Sangwon thought people shouldn’t judge what they did or didn’t do, and that afternoon was no exception. However, it also made him think about them, about their relationship, about their friendship, about how the lines were far too blurred when it came to what two friends did and what a couple did, because it wasn’t just the strangers passing by who thought there was more than friendship between them; the people who knew them thought so too, they asked them about it, and they always replied in the negative, even though all Sangwon wanted was for them to be able to say yes just once, that they were dating.
That day, however, he wasn’t going to let that get him down. That day, they were officially a couple, even if only for a few hours, even if only because Sangwon had wished for it… and he wanted to make the most of it.
Whilst Leo finished throwing balls at a hoop, without much success, trying to beat Sangwon’s score, Sangwon looked around, taking in the machines in the place, pondering what they could do next, thinking of how they could do something that would force Leo to behave much more like a boyfriend. After a few moments, he spotted a machine where people could pull out balls containing prizes and Sangwon couldn’t help but let a smile spread across his face. He knew full well that Leo wasn’t very skilled, that the tokens they’d won in other games would end up being wasted on this, but Sangwon wanted Leo to try and win a prize for him. For that reason, whilst Leo was still busy, he took the little box with the wish cards out of his pocket and, without losing his smile, wrote his new wish on one of them as quickly as he could.
As soon as Leo finished, cursing the fact that he was hopeless at basketball, Sangwon handed him the card, causing Leo to look surprised because he must not have realised Sangwon had written another wish. However, almost instantly, a smile appeared on his face and he took the card to read it.
“Try to win a prize for me,” he read, then looked up at Sangwon with a raised eyebrow, looking amused. “Where?” he asked. Sangwon pointed to the machine a few steps away from them and Leo burst out laughing. “You know I’m not very good at this,” he muttered, “I don’t want you to waste the wish.”
“I won’t waste it, which is why I’ve written ‘try’,” he said. “If you win a prize, the gift will be double; I just want you to give it a go for me.”
Leo watched him for a few moments, then nodded, putting the new card away with the others and rolling up the sleeves of his jacket as if he were preparing for a battle. Sangwon couldn’t help but smile broadly because Leo was willing to do that for him and determined to achieve something. They both hurried over to the machine in question and Leo inserted one of their remaining tickets to set the hook at the top of the machine in motion, taking control immediately. Inside the machine was a huge number of balls filled with slips of paper indicating the prizes on offer, ranging from expensive electronics to key rings, but Sangwon didn’t really care so much about the prize as he did about watching Leo trying to win something for him.
For six rounds in a row, Leo tried without any success, pressing buttons and moving the claw to pick up at least one ball, but Sangwon could see just how focused the older was, how frustrated he looked every time the claw grabbed a ball and dropped it immediately afterwards because it was set to only pick up the balls in a very precise position. On the seventh attempt, Leo managed to leave one of the balls near the hole through which they came out and quickly turned to Sangwon, a hopeful smile on his face, practically vibrating with happiness, and Sangwon could only pull out his phone to start recording him.
“Look, look, look,” Leo pointed at the ball excitedly. “I think I’ll be able to catch that one on the next try.” He quickly inserted another token into the machine. “I hope it’s something worth it.”
“I’ll be happy whatever it is,” Sangwon replied, without stopping the recording. “I’ll be happy even if you don’t manage to get it.”
Leo turned towards him with a small smile and took the hand he wasn’t using to hold the phone whilst filming, pulling him closer so he stood beside him, placing it on one of the machine’s levers and wrapping his hand around Sangwon’s a moment later. Sangwon’s heart skipped a beat as he felt the warmth of Leo’s hand on his own, and how it was so large that his own hand seemed to vanish beneath it. Sangwon could do nothing but hold his breath and watch their joined hands, not daring to say anything, to do anything, for fear of breaking the magic of that moment.
“Let’s do this together,” murmured Leo.
And, a moment later, he began to move the lever delicately so that the machine’s hook moved as he wanted, until it was mere millimetres from the ball he was focusing on. Then he pressed the button that opened the hook’s blades and, the moment he had the ball secured within them, he made them close and moved the lever again. It took him only a few seconds to finally guide the ball to the hole through which they emerged and drop it in. The sound of the ball falling, along with Leo’s euphoric shout, brought Sangwon back to reality, but only for a second, because Leo wrapped his arms tightly around him and pulled him close to his chest, even lifting him off the ground, and Sangwon could only stand there, completely paralysed.
“We did it,” Leo said as he pulled away, brimming with happiness and giving him a charming smile. “Let’s see what prize we get.”
Sangwon had only a few moments to regain his composure, to try and function like a normal person again, whilst Leo bent down to pick up the ball he’d finally managed to get and handed it to him to open. He probably didn’t manage to pull himself together because, deep inside his chest, his heart was still pounding like mad and he could feel himself blushing from head to toe. However, Leo didn’t say a word; he just waited patiently, smiling broadly, for Sangwon to stop recording, put his phone away and open the plastic ball he’d handed him to find out what prize they’d won. Sangwon squeezed the ball tightly in his hands until it split open, revealing a piece of paper inside, which he took and unfolded to see what was written on it.
“Plushie no. 1,” he read.
“Shall we go and get it now and find somewhere for dinner, or do you prefer to continue playing for a bit longer?” Leo asked him.
Sangwon looked at Leo and then glanced around them. They’d played practically every game they usually enjoyed, and it was getting late, so perhaps it would be best to simply collect the prize, pick up the rest of their presents from the locker where they’d left them at the entrance, and find somewhere still open for dinner. However, Sangwon didn’t want to leave without capturing the moment, because he wanted a memento of his birthday —the day Leo had been his boyfriend, even if only for a few hours—. For that reason, he took out the box of cards again to quickly write a new wish on one of them, leaning against the glass of the machine they’d been using just moments before. Leo waited without asking any questions, without demanding an explanation, and when Sangwon handed him the new card, already filled in with his new wish, Leo simply looked at it with a smile on his lips.
“Couple photos in the photo booth,” he read. “With the plushie or without it?” he asked, deliberately ignoring the fact that Sangwon had written “couple photos” to prompt the question.
“With it,” replied Sangwon, feeling happy. “That way we’ll immortalise the moment you used up all your luck for the whole year.”
Leo pouted at the comment, but it only lasted a few seconds, because immediately afterwards he put the card away and walked over to the arcade counter to exchange what they’d won from the capsule machine for the plushie, and also to get the change back for the tokens they still had. Sangwon followed close behind, watching his every move and the way he interacted with the shop young employee, doing everything for him. Leo didn’t usually like going out or talking to people, but when Sangwon asked him to, when Sangwon told him he wanted to go somewhere with him, it was Leo who always took care of everything, causing his heart to beat uncontrollably in his chest because of it, because that was something he only did for him.
“Here you are,” said the arcade employee, snapping him out of his thoughts as he placed a giant brown teddy bear on the counter. “You’ve been very lucky because this is the top prize for the plushies.”
Leo gave him a smile and thanked the guy, picking up the enormous bear and placing it in Sangwon’s arms. The plushie weighed a ton, but the boy held it tightly and hugged it to his chest so he could keep a firm grip on it. Then, he let Leo guide him again by the hand on his lower back as they made their way through the shop until they reached the photo booth right next to the door. Once they got there, Leo selected the photo options, using the template they always used when taking photos in places like that, and put the money into the machine. Once it was ready, he opened the curtain so that Sangwon could go in first, and then he stepped into the cramped space.
That photo booth wasn’t very big, unlike others where large groups of people could fit in comfortably; there, there was only room for two or three people to fit in comfortably, and that had never been a problem because normally only the two of them went to that arcade; however, the enormous teddy bear took up the space of two people all by itself, and Sangwon found himself trapped between the teddy bear and Leo’s body as he entered, feeling Leo’s firm chest pressing against his back. Sangwon held his breath at that and tried to calm his heart, which had started beating like crazy again; however, no matter how hard he tried, he could do nothing when he felt Leo’s hand gripped him tightly around the waist and dragged him along, pulling his body until Sangwon ended up sitting on his thighs, pressed completely against him.
“This way, the three of us fit better,” Leo murmured, whispering those words into his ear, sending a shiver down his spine. “Smile, aegi.”
Sangwon found himself breathless once again at the way Leo had affectionately called him “aegi”, and his whole body tensed at that and at the way Leo’s hands clasped his waist, almost completely encircling it. The camera began the countdown for the photos and Sangwon saw his panicked expression on the screen in front of him as he was in Leo’s arms. He felt exposed and tried again to calm himself, to pretend that it wasn’t affecting him at all, but the mischievous smile on Leo’s face and the way he brought his face closer to Sangwon’s, resting his head on his shoulder, told him he wasn’t doing a very good job and that, perhaps, all of this was far more than he could bear without his heart bursting, perhaps… Sangwon didn’t know what he’d got himself into by wishing for this.
🎂🎂🎂
Dinner went well, calmly, without a hitch, and without Sangwon having to use any more cards because Leo had been looking out for him the whole time. If he needed his glass of water refilled, Leo had already grabbed the jug to do so; if he needed napkins to wipe his hands, Leo handed them to him without him even having to ask. Normally, Leo used to keep a close eye on him, on what he needed, on what he wanted… but when they ate together, he wasn’t quite so attentive, focusing much more on the food than on what was happening around him. That had made Sangwon feel as though his heart was about to burst at any moment during dinner, but otherwise, everything had gone well. They’d talked and laughed, they’d had a really good time eating something they both liked, and Sangwon had been genuinely happy with Leo like that, even with the little heart attacks Leo had given him.
Just as they left the restaurant where they’d had dinner, Sangwon realised he hadn’t dressed properly for spending the night out as well, feeling the cold night air make his skin prickle. When Sangwon had arranged to meet Leo and told him he’d like to spend his birthday with him, he’d thought they’d only be together for a few hours in the afternoon and that, by evening, he’d be back home with his family; for that reason, he’d dressed in comfortable, light clothing, clothes that had been perfect during the day but were now insufficient to keep him warm. If they kept walking down the street instead of going somewhere else, Sangwon knew he was going to get very cold, so he turned to Leo to suggest they go somewhere else —somewhere indoors if possible— but the moment he did, he saw that Leo had just taken off his jacket and was holding it out to him.
“Put it on,” he said. “You can’t catch a cold on your birthday.”
Sangwon looked at Leo and the jacket he was holding out for a few moments, then nodded slowly. Leo took the giant teddy bear from his arms and the tote bag in which he had carefully stowed the rest of his presents —the bouquet of flowers, above all, so they wouldn’t get squashed— and handed him the jacket to put on, even though it meant he’d be left in short sleeves. Sangwon put on the jacket and then tried to take the teddy bear and the tote bag from Leo’s hands, but Leo shook his head and simply urged him to walk, clutching the teddy bear tightly under his right arm and slinging the tote bag over his left shoulder, then placing his hand on Sangwon’s waist, guiding him to start walking again.
“Where do you want to go?” he asked. “There are several places nearby where we can hang out, depending on what you want to do,” he said, turning towards Sangwon and looking at him. Sangwon looked away because Leo’s face was too close to his and simply nodded. “Do you prefer somewhere quieter, or do you want to dance and have a drink?”
Sangwon didn’t answer him straight away, simply letting Leo lead the way, walking aimlessly along the busy street they were on. Sangwon liked both options Leo had suggested; in fact, he’d been thinking about it himself just a few moments earlier, but perhaps he’d prefer to be somewhere quieter with Leo, a place where they could make the most of the little time they still had left to be together, alone, with no one else around.
“I’d prefer somewhere where it’s just the two of us,” he replied. “I think there’s a noraebang nearby, but I’m not sure exactly where it is,” he said.
“Hmm… give me a second,” Leo murmured, taking his hand off Sangwon’s waist and slipping it into his trousers to get his phone out. “I’ll have a look.”
Sangwon stood there, right beside him, simply watching as he handled his phone perfectly with his left hand —despite being right-handed— searching for the location of the nearby noraebang. He couldn’t help but stare at his hand, at the way his thumb moved across the screen whilst he held the phone firmly. For a few moments, the only thing that crossed his mind was the image of that hand firmly grasping his own, as they walked towards their new destination, and Sangwon had to close his eyes to force himself to think of something else because he couldn’t ask him for more than he’d already asked. The physical contact between them was casual, like that between two friends; he couldn’t ask Leo to do that… he shouldn’t. And yet, no matter how hard he tried to get it out of his head, he couldn’t.
Leo had agreed to fulfil his wish to be his boyfriend that day; Leo was doing a whole host of things he’d never done for him before, and it didn’t seem as though anything he’d done so far was bothering him. He had already crossed a line with him that until now had seemed insurmountable, a line he didn’t know how he would be able to mend after that day. Sangwon hadn’t yet come up with an excuse for Leo, to explain why he’d let himself get carried away like that and why he’d asked him to do that, and he could only hope that, after all, Leo wouldn’t hate him.
Taking all that into account, Sangwon finally decided that, if he asked Leo for a little more, it shouldn’t be too much trouble, and if Leo felt uncomfortable with it, he’d simply tell him and not do it. For that reason, Sangwon took out the little box of cards again and quickly wrote the wish on one of them in terrible handwriting, handing it to Leo as soon as he put his phone away, having already confirmed the location of the noraebang they were going to. Leo took the card with a raised eyebrow, looking amused to receive a new wish right there where they were, in the middle of the street.
“Walk hand in hand to the noraebang,” he read, and it didn’t take him a second to nod. “Sounds good to me.”
Sangwon couldn’t help but smile because Leo didn’t seem to mind at all that he’d asked him that, and in fact, all he did was return the smile whilst putting the card along with the others into the pocket of his jacket —which Sangwon was now wearing— before holding his hand out for Sangwon to take. The boy hesitated for a few seconds, searching Leo’s face for any sign of discomfort at doing so, but he couldn’t find anything, and simply took it, immediately feeling a shiver run through his whole body at the touch. Sangwon took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, trying to control the huge smile of happiness that threatened to appear on his lips, and then simply followed Leo down the busy street.
Sangwon tried to look calm and relaxed, as if this were something normal, as if he weren’t noticing the touch, the warmth, the weight and the shape of Leo’s hand in his as they walked, as if the mere thought that their hands seemed to fit together as if fate had created them just for that weren’t giving him a heart attack. The scant ten minutes it must have taken them to reach the noraebang felt both too short and too long, and when Leo finally let go of his hand so he could book a room for the two of them for a couple of hours, all Sangwon felt was a strange emptiness and chill, craving much more of that contact, but not daring to ask for more than he had already asked.
A few minutes later, they were already in the small room they’d booked, which had a coat rack, a three-seater sofa with a coffee table in front of it, and the TV with the karaoke machine on the opposite wall. They’d taken the liberty of grabbing a couple of beers from the drinks machine in the hall and some bags of chips to nibble on between songs. Sangwon watched as Leo left his tote bag with the flowers and his t-shirt hanging on the coat rack, then dropped the giant teddy bear onto a corner of the sofa, settling it comfortably there, whilst he placed what they’d just bought on the table.
“Well?” Leo asked, turning towards him. “Is there a song you’d like to sing?”
“Mmmm…”
The question caught Sangwon off guard because, even though he’d been the one to suggest the plan, he hadn’t really thought about what to do once they got there. Sangwon had several songs he always sang when he went to the noraebang with his friends, but the only thing he’d thought about was being able to stay with Leo, in a place where it was just the two of them, with no one else around to see them, relaxing by his side and spending the rest of the time they had left together. He hadn’t thought about which song to sing and, really, he didn’t even know if he wanted to sing; he much preferred just being with Leo, chatting quietly in the room or listening to Leo sing. Once that thought had entered his mind, it stayed there and Sangwon couldn’t stop thinking about it. Perhaps listening to Leo sing was the best thing right now because Sangwon adored the older’s voice.
“I still don’t know what to sing,” he finally replied a little later. “You can choose a song first whilst I make up my mind.”
“Okay,” murmured Leo, picking up the remote from the table and flopping down on the sofa next to the teddy bear. “Do you want me to sing anything in particular?” he asked.
“Something soft?” he replied, not entirely sure Leo would like his idea, as Leo preferred a completely different style of music.
“Any recommendations?” Leo asked again, even though he was already searching through the system.
“Anything you think sounds nice,” was his reply. “I like the way your voice sounds when you sing something like that.”
Leo seemed surprised by what he’d said, pausing all his movements for a few moments, but then a smile appeared on his lips and he simply carried on searching with the remote for the song to sing. Sangwon took the opportunity to open one of the beers and a bag of chips, sitting on the arm of the sofa so he could watch Leo while he sang. In truth, he wasn’t very hungry because they’d had dinner quite late, but Sangwon preferred to keep his hands and mouth occupied with something so as not to do or say anything else that might jeopardise their friendship, as he’d already done enough to shake its foundations. They had roughly two hours left together, and Sangwon was happy simply to be there with Leo; he didn’t need anything else.
A familiar melody began to play in the room, pulling Sangwon out of his thoughts and making him focus on Leo, who had already picked up one of the microphones and was waiting to start singing. The song Leo had chosen to sing was ‘Starlight’, a song by his favourite artist, Taeyeon, and it was among the songs he adored most from her entire extensive and perfect discography because the lyrics reminded him of Leo, of how he felt about Leo, of how Leo made him feel… and the fact that it was Leo singing it, with his velvety voice, caused Sangwon to simply stand there mesmerised, staring at him.
At that moment, only Leo existed; everything else vanished for him, as if it had never existed… and, when Leo turned towards Sangwon, singing “you are my starlight”, holding out his hand for him to take, Sangwon did so without thinking. Leo seized the moment their hands touched to pull Sangwon towards him, causing him to end up sitting on the sofa, very close to Leo, while he continued singing, singing directly to him, as if he were telling Sangwon directly everything the song’s lyrics said. Sangwon felt his heart beating quickly in his chest and also noticed the colour rising to his cheeks, unable to do anything to stop it.
Suddenly, it was all too much. Leo’s gaze was too fixed, too intense, and the hand still holding his was firm, yet warm, and enveloped his perfectly. Leo’s voice, with the echo created by the machine, reverberated throughout the room and made his body vibrate from within. His heart wouldn’t stop beating so hard it felt as though it were about to burst from his chest, and Sangwon was unable to tear his eyes away from Leo, from the expression brimming with affection he was directing at him.
Sangwon felt like crying because he didn’t want to lose that, he didn’t want to lose the Leo he’d had over the last few hours; he didn’t want everything to go back to the way it was when the clock struck twelve, and for them to simply go back to being friends, as if nothing had happened, as if that day had never existed… or worse, having to explain to Leo what had happened, lying to him about it, telling him, looking him in the face, that he had no feelings for him. Sangwon couldn’t do any of that without his heart breaking, without making himself even more miserable than he already was when he wanted everything from Leo, but he couldn’t ask for more than what they already had.
The song finally came to an end and Leo pulled the microphone away from his lips, setting it down on the table without taking his eyes off Sangwon. After that, he brought his hand up to his face, cupping his cheek and giving him a tender smile.
“There are still a couple of hours left before your birthday’s over,” he said, his voice sounding like a whisper. “You can keep making wishes so I can grant them all.”
“All of them?” asked Sangwon, almost hopefully.
“All of them,” murmured Leo.
“Even if they’re crazy?” he asked, making Leo smile.
“If you ask me to go out into the street naked, I’ll have to say no,” he replied, still laughing. “I’m not cut out for prison.”
Sangwon couldn’t help but smile at that, feeling a little more relaxed and at ease again thanks to Leo’s reply, even though, deep inside his chest, his heart continued to beat quickly as he thought about what Leo had said. The older was urging him to do more, to ask for more, to want more, and Sangwon really didn’t know how to respond. He wanted so much more from Leo, he wanted to ask him for so many more things… but he was afraid, afraid that Leo would finally say no and break that spell. Sangwon took a deep breath, still pondering what he might say to Leo, but at that moment, he realised how Leo’s eyes had drifted down to his lips and his heart began to beat even faster than it already was. What did that look mean? Why did it seem as though Leo wanted to kiss him?
Sangwon held his breath at that moment, and it wasn’t just his heart racing at the speed of light, his thoughts were too. Leo had been the one who’d given him those cards so he could wish for anything he wanted; Leo had been the one who’d urged him to wish for Leo to be his boyfriend on his birthday; Leo had been the one who’d insisted he keep wishing for things that made Leo seem like his boyfriend… Maybe, maybe it wasn’t just him who was using that day; maybe Leo was using it too to do everything he hadn’t been able to do with him because they were just friends… maybe… maybe Leo wanted something more from him too. His heart began to beat much faster than it already was at that last thought, because he’d never before imagined that Leo might feel something for him too.
And, it was likely that Sangwon was going crazy, that the little beer he’d drunk had gone to his head, but he didn’t want to waste the last chance he had.
Quickly, Sangwon moved away from Leo so he could take the little box of cards out of his pocket, opening it and taking out a new one along with the pen. He didn’t want to lose the momentum the moment had given him, he didn’t want to regret having had that thought, he didn’t want to have to regret not having done something he’d always wanted to do: kiss Leo’s lips. For that reason, Sangwon simply leaned over the table and wrote on the card the one thing he hadn’t dared to write before, handing it to Leo straight away, feeling how, at that moment, his heart truly felt as though it were about to burst from his chest.
“Three kisses,” Leo read, barely batting an eyelid, though the smile that had graced his lips all this time widened slightly. “Where do you want them?”
Sangwon opened his mouth to reply, but no sound came out, so, before making a fool of himself —even more than he already was— he decided it would be best to point out where he wanted them. So, he brought his index finger to his cheek, then to his forehead and, finally, hesitantly, to his lips. Leo followed the movement of his hand without blinking, and when Sangwon placed his finger on his lips, he seemed to exhale the breath he must have been holding, making the boy feel even more hopeful that this was the right thing to do because Leo seemed to want it too.
“Your wishes are my command,” Leo murmured.
Immediately afterwards, he brought his hands to Sangwon’s face, cupping it between them, and drew closer to him, positioning himself so close that Sangwon felt his breath brush against his skin, so close that Sangwon felt himself running out of breath and his whole body trembling with anticipation. Leo wasted no time and began to fulfil his wish, placing the first of the kisses on his cheek, causing Sangwon to feel a slight tingle there, due to the sweet and tender way his lips had touched his skin. Then, Leo tilted his head slightly to reach his forehead without any trouble and placed his second kiss there. And, after that, he moved away from him slightly and looked at him as he had never looked at him before, as if Sangwon were the only thing he had ever desired in his life. Sangwon was left breathless once more, unable to look away from Leo, watching as he smiled and slowly came closer to him.
The moment their noses brushed against each other, Sangwon closed his eyes, and just a few moments later, Leo’s lips pressed against his, sending a shiver through his whole body. Leo’s lips were soft and warm, moulding perfectly to his as they moved against them, again and again, refusing to let go. Sangwon began to feel overwhelmed again because he hadn’t expected such a long, drawn-out kiss; he’d expected Leo to give him a quick peck, but Leo was kissing him, for real, over and over, not wanting to pull away. Sangwon started to run out of breath as his heart pounded too fast inside his chest, while Leo’s hands cupped his face and his lips moved over Sangwon’s without stopping. Sangwon didn’t want it to stop; he didn’t want that moment to ever end; he didn’t want to pull away from Leo for anything in the world, but he needed air; he needed to stop feeling so overwhelmed, and he ended up placing his hands on Leo’s chest, pushing him gently so that he would pull away from him.
And Leo did so instantly, pulling away from him, breathing just as raggedly, as if the kiss had left him breathless just as it had him, his lips swollen and his dark eyes shining intensely as they stared at him, as if he wanted to keep kissing him. Sangwon unconsciously licked his lips and Leo followed the movement of his tongue, only to immediately draw closer to him again, capturing his lips with his own, kissing him with far more intensity than he had before, licking his mouth, sliding his tongue into Sangwon’s mouth and entwining it with his. Sangwon returned the kiss, feeling as though his heart was about to burst, but not caring in the slightest because Leo was kissing him again, as if that were the only thing he’d wanted for far too long, as if kissing him were everything to him, until they both found themselves breathless once more and had to pull apart again.
“Leo…” Sangwon murmured, calling his name without being able to do anything else, unable to say anything more because Leo cut him off.
“Shhh…” Leo hushed him, planting another kiss on his lips. “I want you to know that…” he murmured, “even though my birthday isn’t until August… I have a wish too…” Leo kissed him again and pulled away to look at him intently. “I want to be your boyfriend… not just until your birthday is over… but forever… would you grant me that wish?”
Sangwon’s heart stopped beating for a moment when he heard him say that, and then his whole body relaxed, as if Leo’s words had lifted a heavy burden from him. Sangwon felt tears welling up in his eyes, but he fought them back, not wanting to start crying at that moment, when he was incredibly happy. He brought his hands up to Leo’s face and cupped it, looking at him as if he’d never seen him before, feeling his whole being fill with warmth at the sweet gaze Leo was giving him, and he nodded in response to his question.
“I can’t believe it…” he murmured. “Really? Forever?” he couldn’t help asking. Leo nodded, with a small smile.
“Forever,” he replied.
Sangwon felt the sincerity he’d poured into that answer and simply moved closer to him until their lips met once more, kissing him simply because he could, because he wanted to, because he needed to. Sangwon was on cloud nine and didn’t think he’d ever get used to all of this; to Leo being his boyfriend, to being able to touch and kiss him whenever he wanted, to having privileges over others, to being incredibly happy with him… yet, even if he never did get used to it, Sangwon wouldn’t change it for anything in the world because he’d finally been able to fulfil all his wishes.