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She was back.
Ewron knew that she was– he saw her, he heard her. He felt her presence in every one of his bones and muscles, the goosebumps traveling all over his body at the dramatic howl of her voice.
The whispers, the moving objects, everything that was weird. It was her.
All her.
The resurrection affected the panda more than he imagined. It wasn’t an act he performed often, so the outcomes were still mostly unknown and up to discovery for him, but what he experienced now wasn’t similar to anything he ever felt before. Sure, maybe lost some of his physical abilities then, like damaged hearing, which caused him to talk over everyone all the time. Once, he lost his pinky finger. But these were sacrifices he was ready for. Fuck, he would let them cut off his whole arm if it meant bringing back Ghosty and regaining Ash’s trust, showing him Ewron’s true devotion to the cause.
The consequences differed from his expectations though, and that was what worried Ewron the most. Hallucinations, random losses of consciousness– losing sight, first, in the left eye, ‘till it was completely gone, then in the right one, the skin around them rotting like he was already a corpse waiting to decompose.
He needed to meet with Ash. He could never be sure how much time he has left, and he promised to himself that he won’t leave him alone with this. He started something, and now, he must finish the job, no matter what it takes.
***
The time that Ewron was waiting for Ash at Prawdziwa Polska seemed to stretch out for decades. Five minutes turned into ten, fifteen, twenty.
“Move your lazy ass,” Ewron texted Ash. Why couldn’t he take this seriously? They were running out of time, for god's sake! What could be more important than that?
The man paced around the green grass, feeling the long blades of it softly touching his legs. The sensation made him even more irritated, huffing every time they faintly poked his skin.
While walking around, his eyes started to travel over the whole terrain, catching the stray rays of sunshine falling on the ground, disappearing slowly as the sun went lower and lower in the sky. They covered all of the field, the little flowers among the greenery of the ground bathed in their gentle lightning. They also reached the places that reminded of tragic situations, the memories Ewron would prefer to keep hidden.
The cold, gray stone that held Ewron’s best buddy. The grave of the famous Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz. The little red companion that Ewron always stumbled on in the Polish cave, now lying down in the dirt, almost forgotten by most. Not by him though. Maybe Ewron moved on in the eyes of everyone, but deep in his heart, there will always be a little place held just for Grzegorz that will never be filled again.
Ewron heard hard footsteps that made his ears twitch. They couldn’t be left by anyone else, but the Supreme Leader of The Regime– Ashswag.
“Well well,” The red panda started, not moving his eyes onto the other man as he approached closer, feeling a cold shiver run down his spine.
“Well well," Ash repeated, meeting Ewron’s back with his cold glaze. “What was so important that you had to send me like a hundred messages asking to hurry?"
The silence fell over them like a blanket. How was Ewron supposed to tell him this? The most talkative now was at a loss for words. Ash didn’t miss this phenomenon either, a tiny bit of worry settling deep in his chest.
“I'm going to be straightforward with you," He started faintly “We have to bring Ghosty back as soon as we can" The stress in his words was concerning, to say the least. Ewron was a good liar, he could trick you into anything— so why couldn't he mask his anxiety now?
“Ewron, I already told you, she is better off away from me." Frustration grew in the man's voice with every word, ‘cause why couldn’t Ewron understand?
But Ash’s reassurance couldn’t stop Ewron. There was nothing that could prevent what was upcoming.
“No, no, no, we really have to bring her back" The panda pushed. “I promised something and I'll hold myself accountable. You can count on me, for fucks sake. I won't disappoint." Ewron hissed through his teeth, every phrase dripping with desperation. “She will be back today."
“Ewron, I don't think I'm getting through— Fucking look at me when I speak to you!” He was met with silence— the only sound left was the hard wind blows and quiet humming of birds around.
“I don't think that will be necessary" Ewron's tone was collected and serious again, the raw emotion gone as quick as it appeared, as if it was taken with the leaves that crashed onto the water. “Just give me the star. I'll do my best to bring Ghosty back,"
“Are you a fucking idiot?!” Ash's voice was almost a yell, a cry as he tried to get to the other assassin.
“Just give me the damn star. Please," The exhaustion in Ewron was almost physical, touchable. He was struggling to stand, to breathe, to keep his eyes open. He needed to get it over with as fast as he could.
A loud sigh left Ash's mouth as he gave himself time to think for a minute. This didn’t make sense at all. There was nothing that Ewron could take out of the resurrection of Ghosty, and Ash already stated that he didn’t want her back. So why was Ewron almost begging for the star, embarrassing himself just to get a chance to bring her back?
“Okay," The assassin's entire appearance suddenly changed, the tensed muscles and croaky voice replaced with overwhelming relaxation and peace. “I'll give you the star, but, under one condition”
Ewron clenched his fists on his robes. Of course there had to be a "but”. He breathed in and out before answering, his palms sweating like crazy. "What conditions?” His voice was getting thinner and thinner, revealing everything that was going on inside him to the daylight. It didn’t matter anyway, he could as well lie here, dead, on the ground in 5 minutes.
“You'll tell me why you want to do it so bad. Why are you so desperate– Hell, It doesn't even affect you!" The atmosphere tensed up again “Do you want to use me? Is that what you want to do?" The accusations almost stopped in Ash’s throat, not letting the sentences form outside of his own mind. As much as he didn’t want to acknowledge it, Ewron was a big, fat liar. This could be all part of his big, master plan that Ash would just play a side role in. He wouldn’t even be surprised.
Ewron's eyes widened, his tone defensive and clearly angry.
"What? Is that what you really think? That I'm some bastard who will betray you like that? Who the fuck do you think I am?” The man was clearly pretentious in his statements, but the mere thought of being perceived as a traitor by the one person he didn't want to lie to made the blood boil in his veins.
"What am I supposed to think, really?” The anger that Ash accumulated through weeks, or even months, all of the bottled up emotions landed outside, crashing on Ewron. "You don't let me see what you plan— you say you don't want to lie to me, but you don't want to tell the whole truth either. How can I trust you, Ewron?”
The only hearable sounds were the pandas deep breaths and soft sounds of him scratching his own hands out of anxiety and stress. No matter if he lies or not, it might all fall apart, and the next thing happening will be absolutely out of his control. Maybe death at this moment wasn’t the worst way out after all.
The silence continued, their heartbeats beating in synchro, counting down to the big reveal. Ewron had to choose. He had to choose here and there.
"... Okay. I'll show you what it's all about” Ewron gave up. He was about to tell Ash everything, and all he could do is count that he won't care about him enough to stop him from bringing Ghosty back. "But you have to promise to let me do it”
And as much as Ash didn't want to agree, he knew he had to, even though he knew he would probably not stick to this promise, depending on Ewron’s next words.
“...Of course"
Ash couldn't believe his eyes. As Ewron turned around, he saw that the pandas left eye was almost absolutely gone, the skin around it rotting, turning into a greenish puddle of dead cells. His fingers, barely functioning, taking a beautiful violetish green colour, clenching his own sleeves. His expression looked helpless, like he was already ready to rot completely and become one with the ground, grass and trees, to become one with nature as he was always meant to be.
“I'm dying already, Ash. Might as well do something positive in this world for once," The chuckle that left Ewron’s throat was a mixture of his usual stupid demeanor and a deep, raw sadness that couldn’t be missed, nor fixed.
And Ash? He couldn't find words to describe how he felt. He was furious at Ewron for not telling him, furious at himself for not noticing that his blade, his faithful assassin, the person that he trusted the most, was dying in front of his eyes, basically on his own request. How could he be so ignorant, so deeply concentrated on his own nose that he didn’t notice Ewron disappearing, bit by bit?
“...No" he whispered to himself, trying to convince himself that what he was seeing was not real. It was just a hallucination. Definitely, he just didn't get a lot of sleep lately and that might cause nightmares, but when he wakes up, certainly everything will be okay, right?
“If the ritual brought me to death, I might as well finish it, so someone benefits off of my passing, am I right?" Ewron's usual cocky smile casually slipped on his face, but it looked more like a painful grimace than anything else. It didn’t sit on his mouth like usual, but nothing about Ewron right now was like the usual. Usually he wasn’t so sentimental and emotional. Usually, his face wasn't rotten. Usually, his eyes weren't full of grief and sorrow for a life he already knew he lost.
Ash couldn't look at him without disgust— not towards Ewron, but towards himself. How could he let another important person in his life go? He was truly terrible– he didn't deserve the pity from Ewron. He deserved all of the pain he already got and much more. He deserved to suffer for eternity, and maybe longer.
Ash's breathing became more rapid and messy as he started to pace around the field, his palms drowned in his soft hair, pulling and picking at the strands of it.
" There must be a way to undo this– Did you talk to Multi? He is good at this scientist shit, maybe he is a medic too? Maybe there is a cure, maybe you just need to ask–"
“Ash, stop." The man stopped his route at the Panda's voice, throwing him out of his spiral. “Yes, I talked to Multi. No, there's nothing we can do. Now, give me the star"
“No the fuck I won't?! You're dying, Ewron, I don't care about Ghosty right now, I'm sure she is living her best life, contrasting to you, who might not be alive at all soon!"
"My life is not what counts right now, it will be lost no matter what. Your happiness though,” Ewron made a step forward, closing the distance between them bit by bit. " It can be saved. It can be achieved," Another step. Ash's breath slightly hitched as the assassin brought himself closer. "I want to achieve it,”
Ash was too overwhelmed. He couldn't imagine losing Ewron, but seeing him this close, more vulnerable than ever messed with his mind. He needed to figure out how he could show the assassin that he was what mattered the most to him.
So he did what his impulse told him to do— in the final act of desperation, he reached for Ewron’s robes and almost threw the other man's lips at his own.
The kiss was desperate, like a cry for help, like a plea— Please, don't go. Please don’t leave me.
After a second of shock on Ewron's side, he caught the rhythm of the kiss, moving his lips like they were made perfectly to fit Ash’s, to move with them and breathe with them, almost no difference between one mouth and the other
Ash's hands traveled all around Ewron's body, making sure that he was standing right in front of him– air still circulating, heart still beating.
A need for oxygen was what made them break apart, mouths still agape, lips red from the intensity of the kiss. As they stared into each other’s eyes, Ash absolutely forgot what was happening before— why he was mad, why he was at the verge of collapsing here and there, why all of this even happened— he existed only in that moment, his gaze locked with eyes as deep blue as the sea around them.
Ewron joined their lips again, the kiss more gentle and heartwarming this time. The dance of their tongues was less messy and more deliberate, more thought out.
It was too perfect, Ash couldn't believe that it was happening. There was no way that this would happen to him. There was no way that after this he could ever let go. Not without a fight– not without a part of him dying, rotting away with Ewron’s corpse.
This was his definition of heaven– holding the assassin's clothes and face as if it was the last drop of water on a dessert, gasping softly into his mouth as the other held onto him just as hard, exploring his body as far as his hands allowed him.
Ash was deep into the pleasure, forgetting about the whole world, when he felt a cold rush of air hit his warm from the kisses lips. He widened his eyes at the sudden loss of contact, his vision blurring for a moment because of the sharpness of the movement.
All that he could see was a running red panda, shouting with a worn out voice and holding onto a teleporter.
“Sorry, it's for your own good"
And like that, he was gone.
Ash was standing there, shocked and clueless about this incident, trying to figure out what just happened.
Ewron, on the other hand, with Ash's star, still warm from its place in Ash’s pocket, and a beacon, was going to complete his mission, no matter if the other assassin agreed or not.
***
The Polish Cave was Ash's first thought as for where to find Ewron, but he couldn't find him there. After a quick talk with Nexe and Graf he decided to look in Żabka, and the unfinished casino, hell, even the gay club.
There were no signs of the panda.
As he walked around the whole terrain, he wondered about what Ewron meant. The mere thought that he could be somewhere right now, sacrificing his own life, made him sick to his stomach.
So he went to look further. Harder. Quicker.
He needed to be faster, more effective, more useful. Useless fuck, not even able to save one of the not many people that trusted him, and one of the not many people that he trusted.
The most obvious next choice would be the church, so that's where Ash decides to head next.
Every step made him want to cry even more, panicked that this second might be Ewron's last one, that his breath might overlap with Ewron's last one.
From far away, the church looked normal. The lamps shined brighter than the whole sky of stars, lighting the field around the building. The crickets sung a beautiful song for everyone that most would be willing to listen— but Ash wasn't one of them. He was running for his and his assassin’s life.
Dark clouds started gathering above the building, making the whole scene dark and gloomy, worrying Ash even more. It looked like it was about to rain— and here, rain was never a good sign.
He was so close– so close to the church, so close to Ewron– as a huge line of lighting exploded upwards from the rooftop of the church.
It was too late.
Ewron completed his mission.
Tears formed in Ash's eyes and fell onto his cheeks at the same time that the rain started colliding with the ground.
No, no no no no, it was just a stupid joke. Ewron loved stupid jokes like that.
Maybe it didn't work, maybe it was just a fake. Maybe the method wasn't correct.
He started sprinting even faster than before, the cold, midnight air almost burning through his lungs as he sobbed through the night's nature song.
Every step of the stairs was like an hour, every breath that he took a whole decade. Finally, as he climbed to the highest point of the church, he saw Ewron. His uncontrolled body laid on the rooftop, curling itself in a little ball, his ears and tail closing off as well, as if he was trying to get as small as possible.
Loud whimpers left his mouth as he breathed deeply, the rot on his skin spreading faster than it could ever be humanly possible.
“Ewron!" Ash howled, his voice breaking as he ran up to the panda's almost dead corpse.
“No– this is not happening, Ewron, please look at me," he yelled through his tears “You can't leave me alone here, Ewron, I'm not letting you."
Ewron just smiled at him, one of his signature smiles that now just looked like a cry.
"I dedicated my life to you, and now, I'm fulfilling the promise,” he tried to talk, but the words came out in a whisper, interrupted by an attack of coughs
"I don't want your life, Ewron, I want you. You can't leave me,” Ash laid his head in Ewron's hands.
"Can I have one last wish, my faithful assassin?” Ewron croaked out, barely speaking. Ash just nodded, not being able to form a sentence that didn't sound like a beg from a desperate person.
"Could I kiss you again?”
He didn't have to repeat himself.
Ash joined their lips in a short, bittersweet kiss. It was a kiss goodbye, and they both knew it.
Ash's lips moved gently, like the other man was a porcelain doll that he could not, under any circumstance break.
Ewron, as much as he physically could, attacked Ash with his desire, hungrily biting into the other's lips. He knew it was all he could take in his final moments. He wanted to die happy, and this was truly the happiest he has ever been.
As Ash separated their mouths, Ewron's eyes started slowly closing. It sent a rush of adrenaline through the assassin, trying to grasp any straws that the Panda might make it out alive, even if he knew that there was no chance.
" Ewron, I promise you I will kill everyone in your name. I'll be your faithful assassin. I'll be the blade you were for me, and I'll kill anyone who will tarnish your name" He whispered as he took the assassin's hand and kissed it softly.
Ewron just nodded as he traveled to the other side.
Ash was now alone, with a gaping wound in his heart that he didn't know how to clean, and the body of the man he loved the most in his arms.