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The vast flower field in the depths of the valley lay scattered with an assortment of beautiful, bright flowers. The sunflowers grow taller than the others; they face the sun at all hours of the day, their smooth, perfect petals glisten with morning dew.
The scent of fresh flowers wafts through the field like a blanket, not allowing anything else to escape, trapping the sounds of the finches' and Scrub-Jay songs along with the rustle of the large, beautiful oak tree leaves and flowers. The sunflowers, perfect and beautiful and so full of life, are an amazing sight, almost as amazing as the one who sat beside me before, Noob.
They aren’t much taller than me, though they do have more weight than my lean body, but they only appear taller than me due to their fluffy yellow hair, whilst I always wore my hat, with my silvery hair shoved up inside. Their black eyes were like space without the stars, only reflecting the beauty of the world in them. They wore their blue hoodie with the yellow sleeves again paired up with their green jeans, it's no surprise really, it's their favorite outfit after all.
I can’t really be talking, though. I always wear the same black hoodie and hat, though I at least change my pants every day, unlike Noob, who seems to enjoy wearing the same outfit for multiple days in a row. It’s a wonder they don’t have more stains with how messy they are.
I didn’t pay too much attention to what they were saying; they were talking about their day again as if I had not been there. Their beauty makes me feel like the sun has kissed my face, the way they always seem to smile so brightly, and could keep talking despite my silence, left me breathless.
I would give anything just so they could hear my voice.
I sit, I listen, and it is my favorite part of my day, being able to just sit with them and listen to the sound of their voice. I do not care much for what they say so long as I can hear them. I thank whatever gods there are that it was my voice I was born without instead of my hearing.
It was almost torturous to sit there and listen to them, watching their lips move and hoping and wishing I could be the one to touch their lips with mine. It has been a silly wish ever since these feelings arose within me.
No matter how much I wished for them to hear my voice, this was never something I would have wanted to happen. On the shore of the ocean, I stand before them, uttering my first words to them, only for them.
Taking their hand into mine, I look into their brilliant black eyes. “Noob, I…” I trail off, the anxiety and lack of use made my voice come out shaky and quiet, it wasn’t what I had wanted. I was not sure how to say this, for years I had come up with so many things to say, and yet now that I have the opportunity to say something, anything I wanted, I just… got choked up.
Noob, however, seemed to have other thoughts as they stared at me with what seemed to be a mix of shock and anger. They pulled their hand away from mine, while mine didn't move as if waiting for their hand to return to mine. Why were they angry? Couldn’t they see I did this for them?
“Sixer.. What.. how are you speaking right now? You shouldn’t be able to do that.” Noob had said nervously, shaking their head in disbelief and biting their lower lip. I couldn’t help but stare at them, bewildered. I had thought they would have been happy, excited even.
I shove my hands into my pockets to hide the slight tremble to them. “I used scripts, but there's-..” I tried again, only to be cut off again.
“You what?! Why?! Don’t you know how stupid that is? You could get banned, or worse, killed!” Noob shouted at me, they threw their hands up in exasperation. I don’t know why, but a foreign anger had built up within me; it felt as if it wasn’t my own, but that wasn’t possible. I am angry. Sure, scripts could be dangerous, and I was playing into the rumor that has been floating around about me for years, but I did this for them, and they’re angry about it over a ‘what if’. My fists clenched, I had to take a deep breath to calm myself before I took my hands out of my pockets.
“I did this for you. I wanted you to hear my voice. There’s been something I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time now.” I had said, my throat tingling, I took their hand in mine once more, savoring the feeling of their soft and warm hand this time. I didn’t mind the small scratches or callosities here and there on their hand; it was perfect and wonderful, and I love them.
“No! Don’t do this to me, Guest. You can’t blame me, look at yourself! It’s affecting you already.” Noob had shouted, tugging away their hand more forcefully that time. It hurt to see them pull away. I couldn't help but scowl at them. What do they know? I could stop when I want to. I just went far enough so I could get a voice, a voice for them, so they could hear me, and I could tell them how I feel.
“I’m fine. Please just hear me out.” I had said, I reached my hand out to them once more, my own anger rising. Usually, I was more cool-headed than this, but it felt as though a voice was whispering in the back of my head about how they wanted me to remain mute, how they wanted to control me, and how they feared me like everyone else. After all, I am Guest 666. Everyone knows the myth of me being a hacker, a monster, a murderer, even if I had done nothing; there is no dissuading everyone.
Noob had hit my hand away; their expression landed somewhere between angry and stern. “No. Don’t talk to me again until you are done using these scripts.” Noob had said before they left. I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth. Part of me wanted to chase after them, tell them they were wrong and that I had done this for them, but it would be of no use. So I left.
The days after that were hard; they were all I had, they were my everything, and they had blocked me on everything. I was too much of a coward to actually come and see them in person, so I would just stalk them from afar. I hadn’t stopped using the scripts; I had hoped that if they could realize they were wrong, I wouldn’t have to worry about them being unable to hear me again. Sure, I could have just used the notebook they had gotten me, but it isn't the same.
Groaning, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom, looking into the reflection, I grimaced at the sight of my own body. I sighed, trailing a hand down my arm, and I watched as the glitches seemed to fizzle in and out. I had long since grown used to the pain of each pixel digging into my skin. I looked back up at the mirror and gazed into my own red eyes. God, I hated them. Maybe, if I used the scripts more, I could’ve changed them too. I had let out a shaky sigh before I moved on.
I was drifting, I wasn’t sure where or how I had gotten there, all I could see was the black void of.. Nothing. It was unsettling. The worst part was I knew I wasn’t alone, I could feel something, someone watching me. My eyes darted around, searching for something, someone, anything.
“Ah.. there you are, mortal.” A new voice came with a false affection, like eating a pastry, which assumes its sweetness when the sugar is replaced with salt. I couldn’t see them no matter where I looked. I tried to speak, but nothing came out. I had felt the panic claw at me. Why couldn’t I speak again? I had just gotten my voice, I couldn’t lose it again, I hadn’t even gotten to talk to Noob about what happened, hadn’t gotten to tell them how I felt. Would I ever be able to?
“Aw… cat got your tongue? Worry not, where I will be sending you, there will be no need for a voice.” It utters, I look around, desperately trying to find where in the hell this voice was coming from, only for an intense pain to wrack my entire body. It, however, only seems to laugh in the face of my pain.
“Oh… don't look so glum, you will be playing an important part in my new game. You were entertaining to watch and manipulate, but I’ve grown bored.” It says, I can feel its eyes on me. I can’t see it. I felt goosebumps rise on my skin. What was happening? I sharply gasped as intense pain hit my head. I clutch at my head, the agony was all I could feel, numbing all thoughts and feelings until it was all I could feel in the moment. It felt like my head was splitting open, and all I could do was writhe and let out mute screams.
I felt blood on my hands, something was on my head, panting, I reached up, touching the large red horns with a trembling hand. What was happening?
I could hear that... things laugh again. It was grading, it made me want to lash out, attack, hurt it, which only made it laugh harder. I had felt like a marionette.
“Don’t worry, we're only getting started.” It crooned. I wanted to yell at it, but a bolt of agony shot through the entirety of my body. It felt like I was being burned alive as my body mutated and became inhuman. I tried to scream, but nothing came out. It felt like years I was in that void, being tortured, hurt, and watched. I couldn’t do anything about it, and I hated it.
When the pain had finally seemed to fade, all I could do was curl into a ball and cry. I hated crying, but everything felt so wrong. I felt the soft fur of my body beneath my hands, making my breath hitch. What had it done to me? This wasn’t my body. The realization only made me feel worse.
“You’re perfect now.” It had said, its voice, its terrible and grating voice sounded so content, like what a creator would say to its creation. It was a detached sense of awe. I didn’t feel perfect; I felt far from it.
Now, standing here in a body that is no longer my own, the invisible chains dragging down my consciousness, it feels like I'm drowning. Drowning in the rage, the fear, the urge to hurt, hurt, hurt.
I want it to stop. Please, make it stop.
Hearing the sound of someone walking, I run in its direction. The scent hits my nose, something metallic like blood mixed with something else, I couldn’t tell, nor did I really care. I am far more preoccupied trying to regain control over my own body.
It was over fast; all I saw was the back of someone's head and their curly brown hair before I pounced on him. I was on him in an instant, tackling him to the ground and clawing at his body, watching as the blood leaks from his injuries. I can hear his yell of pain as I gouge deep lacerations onto his back before tossing him away to give him a few moments to run.
I want to stop. I don’t know this man, but I don’t want to hurt him either. I can feel the guilt coiling tight as I watch him try to run away, only to run after him again. I can see him limping and the blood dripping from his wounds. He runs and runs until he’s exhausted. He turns around fast, too fast, and swings his sword at me.
I let out a pained yowl, the sound is so inhuman I don’t even think it’s me at first. The rules of this twisted game have me unable to move for a few seconds, letting the man hobble away and regain his stamina. As soon as the stun fades, I run after him, knowing he won't be able to swing his sword for a while again. It doesn’t take too long for me to catch up and swing my claws at him again.
“Fuck!” He shouts as I get his back. I inwardly wince; it must be painful. I can see the moment his body gives out on him, and I can't help the panic that rises in me. If he can’t run anymore, then that means-.
Before I could even finish my own thought, I watch as I tackle the man, feeling his struggles, pushing at my chest, trying to get me off, but I didn’t budge. I tore into his soft stomach, feeling the squelch of flesh give under my sharp teeth as I tore out a good chunk of his stomach and guts. I feel the slimy flesh slithering its way down my throat. I want to gag. I want this to stop, but I know it won't, so my mind fades. The last thing I see is the man's lifeless eyes before all thoughts and feelings leave me as I release full control to this monster.
I’m vaguely aware of me chasing down some other people, some fight back, others run, some try to help their teammates, but they all eventually fall. As much as I want it to stop, I know it won’t. There isn’t anything I can do or offer to get it to stop. I can feel my mind slipping more and more as time passes.
When I finally come back, I can feel the blood on my claws, the tear of flesh beneath my own hands, the yells of pain, the scent of fear, blood, and those sunflowers. I can gain enough consciousness to see Noobs face contorted in fear and pain as I pin them to the ground with one massive, blood-drenched paw. My black fur makes it easier to stalk my prey in this realm of constant night; my blood red tail sways, keeping me balanced as I stand on my haunches.
I had killed all the others already, one flower cut down at a time and eaten. I can feel the blood dripping from my teeth, my muzzle covered in a mix of flesh and blood, I can taste the metallic blood on my tongue and remember the squelch of flesh and the squish of it beneath my teeth and the way it felt both so wrong and so right as I feasted, consuming them all. This twisted game will never end, will it?
I stare down at them as their blood soaks through the ground, dripping onto the flowers below. The once tall, lively, and beautiful sunflowers lay crushed beneath them. They had already been wilting without the sun in this place, but the way they crumble beneath the weight of the one I love so, there is no saving them.
“Guest, please. Come back to me.” I heard Noobs' plea, but I couldn’t do anything, no matter how hard I tried. I wished I could embrace them one last time, to tell them how I feel, how much I care.
They soon seem to realize their words won’t do anything. “I know you're angry. I know I failed you… I'm truly sorry! But I won’t run from you anymore… I promise!” Noob said, their voice cracking and shaking.
I couldn’t bear to see the one I love look so broken and desperate. It hurts. It hurts more than when I was changed into this monster. I want so desperately for them to be able to hear my voice again, to let them know I care, to let them know I can hear them and that I am so, so sorry for what I have done and for what I know will happen.
I am forced to watch as my tail wraps around their neck and tugs until their head is taken off and how my claws against my own will claw open their stomach to eat like I had done to all the others who had tried to run, to hide, to fight back, yet none of them could match my inhuman strength, though even without that I doubt they'd be able to do much. I am no longer human in this body.
The disgust, fear, and confusion all cling to me as the round ends. I blink into the killer's cabin once more, the blood still dripping off my body as I slump like a puppet with its strings cut. I just lay there, unable to move, my body feels too heavy.
They had been right.
Maybe if I had never tried those dumb scripts I would have never ended up here, they would have never ended up here. Maybe I could have been down in that field of flowers, watching as the sunflowers stretched up towards the sun instead of being forced to cut them down again and again and again for the entertainment of a higher being nobody has ever seen.
I never much liked the color yellow before I met them, but they made me love the color yellow. Now, the yellow, so tinted in red, I know this is a fate worse than death.