Work Text:
The weather could never decide what it wanted to be. Lately, it's been rainy so to see some sun today was a treat.
Sunlight spilled over the hills in soft gold, warming the stone paths and making the puddles from last night’s rain shimmer. But above the trees, gray clouds gathered again, heavy and slow, threatening another rainy week.
You sat on the low wall outside the workshop with your hands folded in your lap, watching the breeze tug at the grass. You missed spending time outside, but your magic is less than impressive so you can't make sunny days around yourself to enjoy it.
Behind you, the door creaked open.
“You’re hiding again.” Olruggio’s voice carried that familiar amusement that always made your chest tighten in the worst way.
You looked back at him, observing his dark cloak which hung loosely over one shoulder, sleeves folded to his elbows and tied back, dark hair slightly messy like he’d just woken from a nap instead of spending hours working.
He looked comfortable. Like he always did around you.
“I’m not hiding,” you said quietly, defensively.
“Hm.” He stepped closer anyway.
That was how it had always been with him.
Olruggio leaning too close while helping you read spells and redraw your diagrams. Olruggio brushing leaves out of your hair with absent fingers. Olruggio falling asleep beside you during long nights in the atelier library, shoulder pressed against yours like it belonged there.
And every single time you thought maybe this meant something. Maybe the way his eyes softened around you was real. Or the way he sought you out first after long jobs meant you were special to him. And the lingering touches weren’t accidents.
You should have known better.
But Olruggio was difficult to read. Worse, he was gentle by nature. Gentle enough to blur lines without noticing.
“You’ve been avoiding me all morning,” he said.
You stared at your hands. “You noticed?”
“Of course I noticed.”
Your heart hurt at how immediate his answer was. The problem was always that he noticed everything.
He sat beside you on the wall, close enough that your shoulders brushed. The wind stirred softly between you both.
“You’re quiet today,” he murmured.
You laughed weakly. “I think I’m always quiet.”
“Not with me.”
That nearly broke you on the spot. You turned your head before he could see it on your face. Because that was exactly the problem.
He said things like that. Things that settled into your ribs and stayed there for weeks.
Things that sounded dangerously close to affection.
And maybe if he had been colder, this would have been easier. Maybe if he had pulled away sometimes or treated you like everyone else, you could have buried these feelings before they grew claws.
Instead, he kept you close enough to dream. To dream about that kind of life. With him and you.
Thunder rumbled faintly in the distance during the silence.
Olruggio glanced toward the clouds. “Looks like it's gonna rain.”
“Yeah.”
Silence settled again.
Your pulse pounded louder and louder beneath your skin. You were so tired of wondering. Tired of trying to interpret every glance, every smile, every touch of his hand against yours.
You couldn’t keep living in uncertainty. So, before you could lose your nerve, you spoke. “Olruggio.”
“Hm?”
“I need to ask you something.”
He looked at you fully then, relaxed as ever. “That serious?”
Your throat tightened. You swallowed hard. “What are we?”
For the first time in a long while, Olruggio looked caught off guard. His brows lifted slightly. “What do you mean?”
The embarrassment hit immediately, hot and humiliating. But you forced yourself forward. “You act like…” Your voice wavered. “You act like we’re together.”
He stared at you quietly.
“You hold my hand,” you whispered. “You stay beside me all the time. You look at me like... ah...”
Like I matter.
You couldn’t say it aloud.
The wind picked up harder this time, rustling his cloak.
Olruggio exhaled softly through his nose. Suddenly, something in your chest began sinking. He looked confused. “Oh,” he said quietly.
Just that.
Oh.
You wished he had slapped you instead.
“You thought I—” He stopped himself, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sorry,” he said.
Sorry.
The word echoed painfully.
“I didn’t mean to give you the wrong idea.”
Your face went cold.
“But you—”
“I know.” He sighed. “I know how it looked.”
Looked. Not felt. Looked.
Thunder cracked louder overhead.
You stared at him, struggling to breathe around the pressure building in your throat. “So all of that was nothing to you?”
Olruggio’s expression tightened slightly. He looked uncomfortable. Uncomfortable?? He was uncomfortable? He started this.
“It wasn’t nothing,” he said carefully. “I like being around you.”
The tiny spark of hope rose instinctively. He extinguished it immediately.
“But not like that.”
The world seemed to go strangely quiet after that. Even the wind felt distant for a few moments.
You looked down at your trembling hands. “Oh.”
God.
How pathetic you sounded.
Olruggio noticed it too. You could see it in the way guilt flickered briefly across his face.
“You’ll get over it,” he said gently. “Feelings like this pass eventually.”
Your chest caved inward. Temporary. Embarrassing little things. You laughed once, sharp and broken. “Did you really not know?”
“I didn’t think about it much.” To him, this had all been lighthearted.
Meanwhile you had built entire futures from scraps of affection he tossed without realizing. Rain began to fall in scattered drops.
Olruggio stood from the wall, glancing toward the atelier. “We should head back before it gets worse.”
You didn’t move. He hesitated. For one awful second, you thought maybe he’d say something else. But instead, he only looked at you with that same soft pity. The kind reserved for injuries already done.
“I really am sorry,” he said again. Then he turned away.
You watched him leave. Watched his figure disappear down the path without once looking back. The rain came harder after that.
Within seconds your clothes clung heavily to your skin, hair dripping into your eyes. Thunder rolled violently across the hills now, loud enough to shake the ground beneath your feet.
Still, you couldn’t move. Everything replayed in your head in horrible pieces.
I like being around you.
But not like that.
You’ll get over it.
The rain soaked through completely, icy against your skin. Your vision blurred.
Your breathing hitched. A sound escaped you before you could stop it. Small and broken.
You covered your mouth immediately, shoulders shaking.
How stupid.
How unbelievably stupid you had been. You thought every glance meant something. Every touch. Every late-night conversation. You had treasured things he probably forgot the next morning.
The absolute worst part was that Olruggio probably really had cared about you in his own way. Just not enough.
Lightning flashed across the darkening sky.
You finally folded in on yourself there beside the empty path, rain pouring endlessly over you while the atelier lights glowed warm in the distance.
Close enough to see.
Far enough to never reach.