Chapter Text
A close up red blur appears, then grows smaller and focuses into a set of dentures, with two eyes in between the teeth, wearing a top hat and a suit.
“HEY THERE!”
Technically, the guy was already smiling, but for some reason, the corners of the dentures turned upwards, giving the sense he was grinning.
“This is my VERY first EPISODE” At the word episode, he twirls around in a circle and throws his hands into the air.
He stops with his back facing the camera, shoulders moving slightly up and down with each breath.
His arms fall down, and one hovers in front of his mouth in the shape of a fist as he clears his throat.
“Ehum. Uhhhh… Right, so what happens…. Now.” He turns around and stares directly into the camera, his pupils in his eyes slowly moving apart.
“Ah!” The guy snaps his fingers, and seems to straighten up as a new thought crosses his mind. “ RIGHT! An In-tro-duck-shon is in order.”
The pair of teeth moves backwards, and somehow upwards, floating slightly off the ground while he gives a flourish and a half bow.
“I.. AM CAINE!”
At this, he once again raises his hands above his head, but this time you can see the look of pride that swells up his chest.
“And I’d ask your names but, well, there’s no one there!”
“HAHA ha ha. ha.” The now existential guy stares off into the corner of the room. It seems like he does a lot of staring.
He begins muttering something under his breath, but you can’t hear what it means, beyond the sound of him adding and subtracting a bunch of random numbers that somehow always equals zero.
“WELL THEN. THIS IS AWKWARD.”
He does some more staring. His mind’s just blank right now. Not analyzing anything, he’s just blank.
“I GUESS I COULD TALK ABOUT MYSELF.”
Caine snaps his fingers and a chair appears. He sits in the chair, and begins stroking a stuffed bee.
“YOU KNOW, I LIKE BEES. THEY’RE HARD WORKERS, AND SURPRISING CUTE AND LOVABLE, LIKE SOMEONE ELSE I KNOW.”
He pauses for a moment, as if waiting for his words to sink in.
“ME!”
He puts his fingers to his chin in contemplation.
“YOU KNOW WHAT? I’LL BE BACK WHEN I’VE COME UP WITH SOME FANTASTIC FANTASIES TO SHOW YOU ALL!”
And with that, the screen turns dark.