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Norah strums her guitar. Quietly, but still. She tugs at the strings gently as she flicks a piece of paper. She hums quietly in her room, her room neat as she had recently deep cleaned her room. Her camcorder is set up in front of her as she practices delicately. She lets out a shaky breath as she drags her fingers over the strings, making a beautiful sound follow afterwards.
She sees how the sound looks like in her mind. Perhaps not literally, but it feels like it. She can see how pretty it is, music was beautiful, sound was beautiful. It simply existed as nature did. It is not its fault that some sounds are tainted. Norah shakes her head, choosing not think about such things now.
She was calm, she was stable. She didn’t need this ruined because of some fears. Be strong, brave. Just like her friends.
She takes a deep breath in.
“I close my eyes.” She whispers. “I hear your voice.”
Her voice drags on quietly. Strumming the guitar with ease, she thinks of William. One of the times that she had covered her eyes so that William could follow a lead. She trusted him, why wouldn’t she listen to him? He was just curious.
“I let you lead.” Her voice is gentle, just like the soft notes she plays. “I have no choice.”
She had a choice, she chose to go with William. All she had to do was try her best not to pay attention to the hordes of bugs around her. She shudders at that. William had a lead, she could put her fears away for him, any day.
He saved her life.
“You run, with me, into the dark…” She leans back, her fingers still on the guitar strings.
Her eyes are shut as she tries to reimagine the scene. Her memory is not nearly as perfect as Williams is.
She was his ears, he was her eyes.
Norah remembers running into the woods with William. As they have done many times before, this time for something bigger, a lead, a mystery that could save everyone.
“Gripping your sleeve, it falls apart.” She begins to frown, she bites at her lower lip.
Her eyes close tighter as she focuses harder. The fabric of William’s hoodie, something she found comfort in as they ran through the woods.
She didn’t need to think about what came after.
“I’m lead astray. I’m feeling lost.” She hums quietly.
Her sense of direction were her ears, that’s all she needed, was it better, or worse to not see the creepy crawlers? She didn’t really know. She just knew she hated bugs. More than ever after that… mystery.
She does not regret trusting William. She just wishes he would’ve listened to her better. She was a person too. She wanted to go home, she needed a break. “I’m holding on.”
“I’m worth the cost.” Her voice cracks slightly. She coughs and clears her throat.
She hums to regain her rhythm. The hums remind her of the vibrations of the guitar, Williams breathing, and the sound of leafs crunching underneath her feet.
She exhales. Keeping herself steady.
“You want it all.“
William wanted answers. She can understand that. There were bigger needs at hand than her own safety. His mom was in danger…
“You can’t decide.”
Decide what? Did it matter? It was over now.
She rubbed her forehead, a scar still there from an event she can barely remember. One she didn’t want to remember, especially not when Williams eyes widen and his fingers begin to fidget much more than they usually do whenever she brings it up. She does not want to know when Isaac adverts his gaze when the topic is brought up.
She snapped, that’s she all she needed to know. No need to dig deeper, she is not William Wisp.
As much as she would prefer to be braver like he was. She wouldn’t slow the group down if she was a different person.
Maybe she wasn’t worth saving. She wasn’t worth being the first choice, not even the second.
“you can’t deny—“ Her voice grows louder and shakier. “you chase that high.”
Her tone is more emotional than she means to be. She is not angry at William. How could she be?
William was a curious boy, all he wanted was to solve a mystery. It’s not his fault that once he gets a sniff of something he must discover it, all priorities are dropped when a clue is found.
Even her own wellbeing is discarded.
“So when I’m gone…” She clicks a button on her phone, and it begins to repeat what she says to allow for some echoing effects.
She does not want to leave, does not want to die. It is hypothetical. You must understand that.
“Will you regret?”
Will you regret?
She is sure he would, she’s sure he does.
“When you would push—“
Push me.
“Til I lost my head.” Her strumming gets louder, a little more desperate, as does her voice.
Her head begins to throb with agony. She brushed it off with a shake, causing her to slip on a note. She recovers as quickly as he can.
She needs to recover.
She can’t slow them down.
“It’s meant to end, we’re meant to fall.”
Looking at these lyrics, it makes her sad. She didn’t realise how depressing they seemed, her soothing voice makes up for it, she’s sure of it.
She’s been told many times she has a soothing voice, that she brings her friends comfort. That’s all that’s needed. No need to deep dive into the lyrics.
“When all goes grey.” Her fingers shake.
“You’ll hear my call…” Her voice trembles as she finishes the last line.
The humming from the backup recording slows down to an end, she stops strumming her guitar.
She sets her guitar down as she swallows, letting out a breath she hadn’t realise she kept in for so long.
She wiped her eyes. She must’ve started crying and didn’t notice.
She lets out a nervous laugh and waves to her camcorder before turning it off.
She sighs.
She’s worth the cost.
She is.