Chapter Text
The year was 1989; The night of graduation for the party. Everyone was downstairs in the Wheeler’s basement, reminiscing the times when Jane was alive. When everyone was excited to actually graduate with her.
Karen yelled from the stairs, “Lasagna’s ready!”
Everyone blinked a few times, sniffling with fresh tears rolling down their faces. They all got up, putting their D&D binders away for the last time. The last one to leave the basement was none other than Mike Wheeler. The leader of the party. The Heart, as Will called him in the van a couple of years ago. He missed when they talked like normal. Normal as in not having so many awkward pauses in between words, as if they both had to say something.
Will paused at the steps of the basement, glancing back at Mike who was still staring at all of their binders with wet eyes.
“Staring at them isn’t going to do anything, y’know,” Will’s voice was soft in the deafening silence surrounding them.
“Yeah,” Mike mumbled, wiping at his eyes before turning around. “Yeah, you’re right.” He cleared his throat, wiping his palms on his pants.
They stared at each other for a moment, both hesitating to move forward to the stairs. Again, that awkward pause, like they both needed to say something.Yet neither of them said anything. Just the slight opening of their mouths before snapping shut when the other opened theirs.
“We should–um,” Mike gestured to the door, already walking up the steps hurriedly to hold open the door for Will.
“Oh–yeah,” Will nodded sharply, heading up the stairs. Just as they were both at the final step, just before one of them was going to speak–
“Out of the way!” Holly shrieked, running down the steps hurriedly and crashing onto the chair, followed by her friends and Derek.
“Careful!” Mike shouted after them, sighing as he saw Holly already snapping open the Beginners D&D book.
Will looked up at Mike, searching his face and his expressions. He spent years memorizing the pattern of his freckles, the furrow of his brows, the way his eyes spoke more than his vocal cords. Even now, with this awkward tension, he still has all of it memorized. He noticed how Mike’s brows furrowed and creased his forehead watching the younger kids fidget and play with the figures and dice. He noticed how when he sighed, his eyes looked more fond and bittersweet as he kept looking at Holly direct her friends from the DM’s seat.
“History repeats itself,” Will shrugged, gently nudging Mike.
Mike blinked a couple times, looking back at Will before smiling. “I guess. C’mon, lasagna’s getting cold,” He gestured toward the kitchen, closing the door behind both of them.
They trailed into the kitchen and sat next to each other, as those were their designated spots. The rest of the party had red rims and noses from crying.
“Is Mike’s storytelling that bad?” Karen joked, smiling.
“Quite the opposite,” Dustin laughed, making everyone else laugh wetly, even Max.
As dinner went on, and everyone was chatting and talking about their plans for college, Will couldn’t help but notice Mike was oddly quiet. He was always quiet now, but now he just seemed…unpresent. He remembered when they were kids Mike would always be so involved in the conversation. In fact, he was probably the loudest. Now, he just sat with his leg bouncing under the table, picking at his food with his fork. It worried Will, to be honest. His best friend was always so himself and now he’s like this.
Will tapped his foot against Mike’s, a silent check-in to which Mike looked up from his untouched food. “Are you okay?” Will whispered.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Mike nodded subtly, smiling a little. “Just not that hungry,” Mike tapped his foot against Will’s in hopes to reassure him further.
He was clearly not fine. Mike hadn’t been eating properly for months, and everyone knew it. At least Will did. Mike had grown thinner, more fragile. He had these dark circles under his eyes that only darkened as time went on. Even though Mike said he was fine, he wasn’t, and they both knew that Will could see behind this facade.
He decided to drop it for now. I’ll talk to him later. Tonight, maybe, Will thought. He kept his foot next to Mike’s for a silent support beam for him, but also himself. After dinner had passed like a blur, and Mike’s food in the trash, everyone said their goodbyes and did their rounds of hugs. Will was the last to go.
As Mike and Will sat on the porch in the night, the crickets chirping filling the silence. “Mike,” Will spoke first.
“Hm,” He was staring at the sky as his legs stretched in front of him.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” The question almost seemed to silence the crickets, as their chirps decrescendoed.
“Yes, Will, I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me,” Mike fixed his gaze on Will, a small smile plastered on his lips.
“I know. You just…” Will searched Mike’s face for a second. “You seem worse than before. I know El’s death was probably a lot for you; It was a lot for everyone. I just want you to know I’m here. Like always. Okay?”
Mike was silent for a second. His brows twitched a small furrow. His gaze seemed to falter. Yet it was all swept under the rug in an instant. “Thanks,” Mike’s smile twitched upright a little more, but it almost seemed forced. “You’re a good friend, Will.”
Those last few words felt off. A little wrong, almost. Of course, it was a compliment, but the way Mike said it felt unsettling. “Yeah?” Will bit his lip to refrain from saying anything else.
“Yeah,” Mike nodded, gently elbowing Will’s side. “You should probably go. It’s getting late, I don’t want Mrs. Byers to worry.”
“You know you can just call her Joyce, right? She’s said that so many times,” Will huffed, trying to brush off the feeling that something was horribly wrong.
Mike laughed a little at what he said, just stood up and offered his hand to help Will up as well. “Just go home so she doesn’t worry.”
Will took his hand, standing up to his full height. He didn’t let go of Mike’s hand though. Not yet. He needed to make sure Mike was going to be fine until the morning at least.
“Walk me home,” Will decided that if something was wrong, he needed to stall it for as long as possible until he found out what it was.
“Walk you home?” Mike asked, a little caught off guard. “Why?”
“I want you to,” Will looked down at their hands, feeling a small pang in his chest because once upon a time they could have held hands in a different way. He also felt it due to the way Mike’s hands were so clearly trembling. “My mom’ll be less worried if you’re there.”
Mike hesitated at first, his hand feeling clammy against another person’s skin. “I-Sure, I guess. I’ll walk you home.”
Will nodded, slowly letting go of his hand and started to trail away from the warm lights of the Wheeler’s house and towards the street, to which Mike followed.
The walk was mostly quiet, other than one of them speaking up to make jokes or share fond memories of when they used to walk together from each other’s houses.
When they arrived at the Byers’ porch, Joyce swung the door open without either of them knocking. “Will! Where were you, I was so worried!”
“I’m fine, Mom. Mike walked me home, see?” Will gestured to the husk of a figure that was known as Mike. He looked even thinner under the moonlight.
“Sorry for the holdup, Mrs. Byers, we were too busy talking to notice the time,” Mike stepped forward to properly talk to Joyce. There it was again, that weird, plastered smile on his face.
“Oh—It’s fine, Mike, I was just—I was just being paranoid. Do you want to come in? Have a snack before you have to go?” Joyce opened the door a little more to invite them in.
Usually, Mike would have said yes. When they were kids, both Will and Mike would use any excuse to keep hanging out together. Only this time, Mike hesitated.
“It’s okay, I just wanted to drop Will off. My mom probably wants help cleaning up dinner anyways,” Mike took a small step back.
Joyce was saying something in response, but Will wasn’t listening. He was staring at Mike. Searching him with his eyes. Something was wrong, and it definitely wasn’t his imagination anymore.
But he didn’t have time to react as Joyce gently tugged him inside, saying something along the lines of, “You’ll catch a cold.” Mike retreated into the night, almost hurriedly if you looked closely. The door shut in front of Will’s face.
“Make sure you take a shower, baby!” Joyce called, as she was heading towards her and Hopper’s room.
Will had no plans on showering. He needed to know what Mike was up to. Sure he had been weird all year, maybe for a couple years now, but it was never like this.
Once he was sure everyone was asleep and out, Will yanked his coat from his bed and climbed out his window. He ran towards the Wheeler’s house, there in what felt like an instant as he looked up at Mike’s window. Dark. All the lights in the house were off. Maybe Mike was sleeping soundly; Maybe he really had been imagining things.
That is, until he saw a figure walking out of the front door quietly. Mike. Will ducked behind one of the hedges that caged their neighbor’s house as he peeked through the bramble to see where Mike was going. Southeast. Nothing interesting was southeast. Was he meeting up with someone? Maybe just on a super late night walk? Then it smacked Will in the head as if he was stupid.
The Quarry.
The Quarry was Southeast. What was Mike planning? A sudden spike of panic surfaced in Will. He followed silently behind Mike, making sure he was out of sight the whole way until they got to the Quarry. Mike didn’t hesitate at all to go to the edge. One step. Two steps. Three steps. Only his heels were preventing him from falling.
Will shot out from his hiding place immediately. “Mike!”
Mike whipped his head around at the sound of such a familiar voice. The loose rocks beneath his converse made him stumble, and then–
The blue of Mike’s shirt that was once there shot down and off the edge.
The crumble of the little bit of ledge that he took with him was deafening. All of Mike’s memories flooded into his brain all at once. When Will and him met for the first time on that swing set. When Dustin joined the party when he overheard them talking about D&D. When they found El in the woods looking for WIll. Above everything else, the moments he remembered were mostly about Will. Now he could never say anything to him. Not a scream, not even his name. He could never see anyone he loved again; Could never come to terms that maybe he did like–
A death grip held Mike’s wrist from the cliff. Will. He was hoisted up in an instant and thrown into a tight hug.
“Mike! Oh my God, Mike, what the fuck are you doing?” Will’s voice was warm against his ear.
That’s all it took for Mike’s “facade” to come crumbling down. “Will,” He managed to croak out. “Will, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry–”
“Stop apologizing, please,” Will pulled Mike’s head against his chest, the other hand gripping the back of his shirt tightly as if he was going to fall back again despite being so far from the edge. “Stop apologizing, but my God, what–”
Will pulled back to look at Mike’s tear stained face, his scrunched up eyebrows, his clumped up eyelashes. Both of his hands came up to grip the sides of his face. “What are you thinking?” Tears were welling up and overflowing on both of their faces.
Mike had no idea what to say. He just pushed into Will’s warm touch, the touch he yearned for since God knows how long. This past year they haven’t been this close at all, and now that it was happening at a time like this it felt all too real. “I’m sorry,” His voice wobbled with unspoken words.
Will’s thumbs traced the edges of Mike’s sharpened cheek bones, the scar that Billy made when they were fourteen. His whole appearance was heartbreaking to look at. He looked so horribly broken it made Will’s heart physically ache.
“Mike…” Will wiped at the never ending streams of tears from his face. “Please don’t scare me like that again. God, don’t–You can’t just disappear on me for a year and do this.”
“I’m sorry, Will. I’m so, so sorry,” Mike leaned in until his head hit Will’s chest. His hands came up on either side of him to gently grip his shirt. “I thought that…that if I do this. I would be able to come to terms with myself. That I wouldn’t feel the scare of explaining things to you, to others.”
“Mike–” Will choked on a sob as he spoke his name. “You can’t just…kill yourself over that!”
“I’m not brave like you, Will. You say I’m the party’s leader, that I’m Mike the Brave. I’m supposed to be this loyal paladin to his cleric, right? I took that silly oath in, what, kindergarten? I said I would be by your side no matter what, but…” Mike’s throat felt like it was closing up. He really needed to calm down.
“Mike, look at me,” Will’s voice was way too comforting in a situation like this. He picked his head up from his chest.
“You were brave enough to fight interdimensional monsters, for crying out loud,” The attempt at a light hearted joke landed, as they both exhaled a wet laugh.
“You’re brave. I know you are. That’s all I need to know. I can go on about how you are just like a paladin; You’re loyal to the party, you stay with your beliefs, you’re stubborn as hell but you’re Mike.”
Will’s hand brushed a stray curl behind Mike’s ear subconsciously. Being so close like this again was bittersweet, but Mike oh so clearly needed this. “The Mike that I know wouldn’t just run away from his friends without saying something. You wouldn’t run away from me.”
Run away from me. He was right. Mike might have a bottle of emotions screwed tightly and would never let them spill over, but he wouldn’t ever fully disappear on anyone. At least WIll, that is.
“I have too much to say. Way too much to say to you,” Mike’s grip on Will’s shirt tightened as he looked down at the ground. “And if I don’t get this out now I don’t think I’ll ever say it again, so please don’t interrupt me and just…listen.”
Will nodded. They were still sitting on the gravely dirt away from the cliff’s edge, but neither of them could care less to take the time to go to one of their houses.
“I don’t think I ever loved El. I mean, she was amazing, obviously. She was so much more than her powers, so much more than what those stupid doctors made her out to be. She never backed down from an opportunity to help us, never. I just…I don’t think I ever loved her romantically.” Mike paused to take a shaky inhale before starting again even faster.
“And I thought that if I kept pushing it that maybe I would like her like that, like I was supposed to and not play with her feelings. She learned how to fucking kiss a guy before finding who she really was and I’m the one to blame for that because I couldn’t realize my feelings sooner, that I actually didn’t love her at all romantically and that she was just the closest thing to–”
Mike looked up from the ground, brows furrowing together and upward. “To you,” he croaked out the words like saying them really made him realize how bad he messed up.
Will stared back, processing everything Mike just rambled out. Closest thing to him? Before he could say anything though, Mike continued.
“And I know I’m way too late, you’re going to college in New York and I’m staying stuck here and you deserve to move on with your life instead of clinging onto whatever I am–”
“Mike.”
“And you deserve someone who loves you wholly and not struggling to keep his shit together for these past few years–”
“Mike–”
“And you shouldn’t just say yes to this just because you feel bad, actually I don’t even know if you like me like that so if you don’t this is really fucking awkward and stupid of me, but I finally realized all of this shit but you also deserve someone who’s put together–”
“Mike!”
“What?!”
Mike was wide eyed and red in the face when he finally looked at Will. His hands had since retreated from Will’s sides, as have Will’s, but only because they grabbed his shoulders to shake him from his rambling. They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity.
“Are you asking me out?” Will smiled a little, fresh tears starting to form.
“I–I think so,” Mike nodded, biting his lip with a small frown at the sight of Will crying.
But before Mike could say “What’s wrong?” or “Don’t cry,” Will’s lips collided with his own. At first it was awkward; Will came in with so much force it nearly knocked him backwards. One of his hands propped them both up from falling straight onto the ground while the other held Will’s waist gingerly. Will’s hands were holding Mike’s face tightly.
Eventually though, they eased into it. Mike’s shoulders dropped from their tense position as he kissed back. For some reason, he was the one crying now; Small, choked sobs came out of his throat. Will backed away as soon as he heard them, brows drawn close together.
“Are you okay?” Will’s hands started to retract before Mike snatched them back up to his face.
“Yeah, I’m fine. This is fine, I don’t know why I’m crying,” He laughed a little breathy, leaning his forehead against Will’s. “I guess I’m just happy.”
Will smiled. “I’m happy too.”
He started to sit back up to his feet, holding a hand out to help the other boy up. Mike’s legs were still a little shaky due to the adrenaline rush of everything that just happened in the past twenty minutes, so he greatly appreciated Will’s support. He was hoisted up, and this time, neither of them let go of each other’s hands.
“Promise me you won’t ever try that again. Ever,” Will’s voice was gentle but urgent.
Mike nodded sharply, attempting to find his words again. “I won’t. I promise, I won’t.”
They stared at each other for a moment before Will pulled him into a tight hug, hands clutching at Mike’s blue polo shirt. “Good.”
Mike buried his face in Will’s shoulder like they were fourteen again when the Byers were moving to California. “Good,” He breathes, smiling softly against the fabric of Will’s shirt.