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No one else could make Oswald feel this way and he couldn't understand why. He wanted so dearly to know why every time that he smiled, his heart fluttered, and any time they were even close, all he could think about was kissing those lips. He wanted him so badly, no, he needed him and he didn't know why this happened to him, or what God above wanted him to feel this way, but he was glad. There was no place he would rather be.
Yeah, he will admit that sometimes he is a bit too hard on people, and he could definitely be nicer to the people that helped him. He will also admit that he has never been into girls. From that time that he was playing on the playground at recess in kindergarten, to that spelling bee he was forced to do in sixth grade, he never found a girl that sparked his interest. But guys, were just so interesting. So intriguing and mysterious and he wanted to get to know all of them. But of course, he couldn't. So, he will just sit back and act like a hardass, when he knows that he will always be the opposite of bad.
Guiding his hand softly to the table, Cobblepot sighed and looked at Ed. He knew that he didn't have to hurt him, but he also knew that he would never let anyone else raise a hand to him. He looked into his soft, and now slightly scared eyes and smiled lightly. He knew that he didn't mean any of what he just said. He knew that Ed was just mad because he didn't follow specific instructions. He knew that Ed had wanted nothing more than to just help him, but of course, he couldn't follow every rule. He let Nygma's hand go and stepped away, giving him a curt nod. He couldn't hurt him. Not now. Not ever. He turned slowly and walked away briskly knowing that he had to think.
Murdering someone is such a rush. You wouldn't know the feeling until you actually do it, but everyone knew that there's just such an amazing edge to it that makes it almost.. addictive. He smiled at his hands that had now become blood red from his most recent victim on the ground in front of him. Oswald thought that everyone knew to not ever make a promise that they can't keep with him, but alas, he was wrong. He rubbed his hands on his stained black jeans and nodded at Butch to take the body away. He hoped this would be a lesson. A lesson to everyone, to never, ever make a promise and not follow through. He turned around and locked eyes with him, before smiling that crooked smile of his. He walked closer and grabbed his hands, pressing a kiss to his lips and walking away.
Always. Always was a word that he had thought meant the world, and it was a promise that would always be kept. But, not now, and not ever again because his always is gone. The person he had always wanted to be with, through thick and thin, life and death was gone. It was Edward god damn Nygma. God, he was so mad. He didn't think he would be able to live without his best friend, his lover next to him, but he didn't have a choice. He was dead, but he was left alive, having to run the city alone without his right hand man at his side. It hurt a lot. It hurt so god damn much and Oswald wanted to scream and cry and never return but he knew Ed would hate him if he did that. Why did Jim have to barge in before they killed Oswald too? Why couldn't he have waited just a little bit longer so that the lovers could be together, wherever people go after death? But that didn't happen. They killed Ed and now he couldn't eat. He couldn't eat, or sleep, or think, or even get out of bed. He felt like he was suffocating himself with the air around him because he was the reason that his lover was dead.