Chapter Text
Before their days on the island, Jack only remembered Simon in the lowest of ways.
That is, what Jack would at least say to anyone who asked.
However his feelings toward the boy fluctuated by the day and mostly depended on what would prevent embarrassment the most.
Jack also remembers how much his fellow choir boys would talk down about him. The hushed whispers every time he walked past or the sudden laughter whenever a loud thud was heard behind them.
Upon asking his father about it, he was gratified with the response that it will toughen him up for when he’s older.
He can also recall seeing him alone during the hours of lunch and even in class in general.
It wasn’t like he was a total lonebody, but his timid and antsy nature wasn’t doing him any favours with the immature and rowdy kids that were his only options.
Whilst Jack and his fellow peers kicked around a ball for an hour and pushed each other around until they bruised, Simon sat at the side with his head deep in the cloud of what Jack would often call battiness.
Staring out into the sun like it was personally talking to him.
Jack scoffed every time he noticed such behaviour and deemed it as a result of how naturally strange he was.
However everytime Simon would notice Jack’s glances, he would grin this sheepish smile that made the other boy roll his eyes.
Yet despite all this, the name rang in his head constantly.
Simon—Simon—Simon-
He watched the boy methodically out of the corner of his eyes, pupils jumping at the chance to trace his every movement.
It made him feel sick and almost as crazy as Simon himself.
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After what Jack would estimate to be about a few weeks on the island, he found himself satisfied with the group of boys he had acquired to be his hunters.
Truth be told, he had wished that the other boys that associated more with Ralph would be more compliant with his ideas.
Jack had also taken a firm mental note on the fact that Simon had picked his place among said boys.
Despite the fact that his rightful spot should be with the choirboys, whom he is supposed to be part of.
However, Jack was not one to implore.
Even if he felt twinges of frustration when he saw Simon hanging around Ralph and Piggy, He felt as if he’d rather throw himself off the rocky cliffs then let Simon know this.
It wasn’t like he cared. More so felt against the fact that Simon had so easily betrayed his peers, of course.
However, if Simon did join, perhaps the rest would be influenced too. Giving Jack an in on becoming chief.
These thoughts hung around his head whilst he found himself alone one day, down by the cool river, where he was taking delight in painting his face.
Jack was tracing the wet blood that was adorned on. He stared into the river and got a good look at his new appearance.
He took pride in the colours that were smeared on, as he felt much like a true warrior. Perhaps even like a soldier, maybe even like his father.
The boy even caught himself making silly faces back at himself, sticking his tongue out crudely, puffing out his cheeks, all of which caused him to laugh quietly to himself.
Then, he heard the loud rustling of leaves and hesitant footsteps, which caused him to quickly whip his neck around to finally see Simon.
who was attempting to keep balance on the uneven ground whilst staring back at Jack.
“You look like a real hunter now I suppose…” Simon spoke with a hint of sarcasm in his voice, or at least Jack suspected it to be.
Jack looked back at the river and away from Simon.
“Real hunter or not, that's not the point, you see, I’m trying to blend into the greenery — Like a proper soldier’s camouflage, yeah?” Jack responded whilst turning his head back around.
Then, on shaky legs, Simon walked closer and situated himself to look down at the other boy.
Upon recognising this, Jack leaned back slightly.
The feeling of being watched so intently making him flush.
Simon then softly chuckled and moved to sit next to Jack, folding his legs and holding them.
The air was cool and breezy on both of the boy’s tanned skin. It was clear that nighttime was slowly creeping up on them as the sky slowly bled its colours more red than blue. Usually around this time the boys would have made their way back to the beach and joined the rest, for food or to finally sleep.
But this time, Jack felt as if he didn’t want to leave at all.
This was one of the few moments that Jack and Simon had together. Yet there were little words that either of them could really exchange.
Jack often wondered if Simon thought bad of him, especially when he would go out of his way to discard him like waste in front of the other choir boys.
But as Jack glanced timidly at the boy beside him, all he got in return was a small smile. A smile that reminded Jack that no matter how bad he may be able to treat Simon; the boy will always treat him with kindness back.
He didn’t know if that made him sick or satisfied.
“So, you enjoy it here? I thought you must…” Jack asked quietly.
Simon looked at him with his big round eyes, making Jack again feel like a bug under a magnifying glass.
“Well I suppose I do, it’s certainly better than home I guess.” Simon answers curtly, whilst beginning to drag a finger through the water.
Jack watches the ripples in the river and furrows his eyebrows. “My father—“
“Your father isn’t coming to get us, Jack.”
The weight of the worlds brought an even deeper silence and almost a painful feeling as the air between them grew heavier.
“Would you even want him to?” Simon now asked.
“I— well— we must be going back eventually.”
“Maybe, but you seem to be enjoying leading the hunters. No?”
Jack didn’t respond and only looked into the ground, almost hoping that it would give him an answer.
“Im not berating you, I don’t mind it here much.”
Simon then confessed.
“You do?”
“Yes I believe I am. It's like I said, it's better than being at school or with my father…”
Simon trailed off his words and his eyes, slowly dragging them to the ground where Jack was also fixated on.
“I must know —
Both boys suddenly looked at each directly, which caused Jack to stop his words and turn away.
— don't you want to join us hunters? It would only make sense.”
Simon huffed. “I suppose I wasn’t given the impression you wanted me to in the first place.”
“Simon, you know I didn’t mean to be cruel. It's just fun at the end of the day, yeah? I make fun of Roger plenty too. Especially when he’s being daft.”
“…I’m not sure if I am up to par with most of your hunters anyway. Maybe that kind of stuff just isn’t for me.” Simon said
Of course Simon can’t help but be so sensitive. How else are we meant to eat? But Jack guesses that he must compromise.
“Perhaps, but don’t you think you could learn? Or perhaps you could just watch us. To get a better idea of how it’s done of course.”
Simon didn’t respond. He dropped his head to his chest and balled his hands into fists, clearly, Jack was pushing him further and further out of his comfort zone.
But Jack didn't think to mind such a reaction.
A sudden burst of hollering snapped them out of the silence, as the hunters made themselves known in the jungle.
Which made Jack slowly bring himself up from the dirt to stare out at the trees.
“Perhaps you should attend to your ‘hunters’ now.” Simon murmured while looking back at Jack.
Jack didn’t look back at him however, and instead was transfixed on his peers and their activities.
He then, without any good bye to Simon, left to walk deeper into the jungle.
The other boy could only sigh and begin slowly dragging his finger through the cool water again
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A few days later, the hunters had successfully slaughtered a particularly fat sow. Which naturally brought quite a stir of delight amongst the group.
Even Ralph had given them a moment of praise with a smile and Piggy was not found to be complaining either.
However, Simon was as quiet as ever and his face seemed to be stuck in a permanent scrunch.
He still ate what he was given but seemed set on ignoring Jack and his fellow choirboys.
His legs were drawn in and he was resting his head sideways on his knees, simply watching everyone, as he usually did.
Despite the frustration at his lack of gratitude, Jack most definitely wasn’t about to go over to him in front of everyone and draw an answer from him. Instead he would let the boy mellow in his stubbornness.
Roger appeared at Jack’s side. “Does he always act like such bad news?” He said whilst tilting his head.
Jack pretends he wasn’t staring. “Who?”
“Simon of course, that is who you are looking at, yeah?”
“He’s not — Jack stops. —it’s not anything new I suppose.”
“Obviously, but it's weird that he acts like we are such terrors compared to him.”
Jack turns his head to fully look at Roger.
“What do you mean?”
“He acts like we are doing wrong for hunting and instead chooses to hang around people who he doesn’t even know.”
Jack stays silent.
“I mean, is he batty or just a bloody wuss?” Roger says snidely.
Jack often caught himself thinking the same thing, but hearing Roger say it aloud almost irritated him for reasons he didn’t understand.
“I say let him be, if he wants to hang around that lot then he can miss out on the fun.”
The boys that surrounded them had begun their game of pretend: circle-the-pig-and-kill-the-pig, despite the fact that they had just killed an actual one hours before.
These young boys had also caught onto Jack’s face paint. As they had all adorned their own interpretations of it, deep splotches of blood struck across their cheeks and even reached down to their stomachs, marking them as far less recognisable and proper as usual.
They had also seemed to all ditch their cloaks in favour of walking around in merely just their shorts, even those who kept their shirts unbuttoned and worn like a coat.
Jack figured they must relish in their freedom of expression and thought about why Simon was so against it.
The sun was beginning to drop into the ocean’s horizon and in no time the island would go back to silence in the dark hours.
However, now it was very much alive and roaring like the blazing fire in front of them.
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The sky had now been officially turned a deep dark blue and a bright moon pieced straight through the sky.
Jack was currently staring up at it, and along with it, the stars that littered the sky like grains of sand.
The boy couldn’t sleep. Perhaps it was because he was much used to his comfortable twin size bed and the ground was cold and dead at night, but no matter the reason he was restless.
Instead of doing much else, he blinked and stared out for a long while, hoping he would eventually drift off. But for some reason his senses were extra heightened and prevented his peace.
He huffed and glanced around at the row of boys that surrounded to see if he was the lone one awake.
Jack was disappointed to see he was indeed the only one.
He then dragged himself off the ground and stilled for a moment. The sounds of the jungle behind him were more mulled at night, but that consistent buzz of wildlife always followed him.
There was a section of the island that Jack never visited much, or really any boy for that matter.
It was at the very right edge of the island and resigned on a cliff that stretched far outwards.
To get to it you had to swat past thick trees and creepers that seemed to go on for miles.
But after venturing through that you were met with rocky land that provided perfect seating to watch the landscape.
Jack only came across this once whilst on his great expedition of exploring the land, But it is now where he sits watching the vast ocean and the tides lapping at the beach.
It’s at this moment where he thinks of home. He wonders about his family, his father, and what they are doing. He hopes that they are desperately trying to find him.
He hopes.
Jack shakes that thought out of his head.
Jack was strong, he could handle it. When his father sees how brave he was, there will finally be pride smeared across his face.
For who else will see it? Someone has to.
Jack’s skin felt a twinge colder and found himself missing the warmth of the day. The talkings of the beast rang throughout his mind and he feels a pit bury itself deep inside his stomach.
He wasn’t as frightened as the little-uns, but the loneliness of the night kept him on edge.
The noises of swift thwacking of trees interrupted the silence that were also accompanied by crunching footsteps. It was now undeniable that someone else was there or something.
Jack then stood up swiftly, as if he was ready to confront whatever was making its way to him, when in reality he was ready to run off.
His breathing became shallow and his heart thud loud in his chest.
But before he could properly take in his sudden fear, he saw a face make itself apparent within the dark. It was Simon. Jack exhaled a large breath and furrowed his eyebrows. How silly of him to get all worked up.
“Hullo.” Simon said.
“hello ..” Jack responded with a sigh.
Simon walked out of the thicket of the greenery and further onto the edge where Jack resigned. He sat down right next to where Jack previously was before.
Jack only looked down at him, almost disapprovingly. As if his presence was an insult.
“What are you still doing up?” Jack asked.
Simon scrunched his nose slightly, “I could ask the same about you.”
“Well, I couldn’t sleep is all. You didn’t need to follow me out here.” the other boy said firmly.
“Who said I did?”
Jack didn’t know why he presumed such a batty thing. Maybe he liked the idea of someone wandering after him. Or maybe it was nothing.
“Roger thinks poorly of you not joining in on our hunts.” Jack said suddenly.
Simon looked up at the other boy and then out onto the ocean. “And you?” He asked.
Jack scoffs, “It means nothing to me.”
There was another beat of quiet as the wind whistled through the air.
“The stars are rather pretty tonight…” Simon said wistfully.
“I don’t care for stupid stars, Simon.”
“You did when—nevermind…”
“So why are you even here then?” Jack questioned, whilst slowly sitting down next to Simon.
Simon looked back at him, “just making sure you’re not going batty looking for that beast.”
“You think that’s what I am doing?”
“When it comes to you I can’t ever be certain.”
Jack then picks up a stray twig and begins tracing the rocky ground. Like he was drawing a picture. Imagining what would go where if it were sand.
“Simon listen—“
“Jack—“
They both looked away at each other, riddled with embarrassment.
“What were you going to say?…” Simon said softly.
“I was going to say—
Jack tears his gaze away from the ground to glance at the sky.
— that you should come with me tomorrow to hunt.”
Simon doesn’t respond.
“I mean with no one else. None of my hunters, just you and I. It would be like practice, just like I was saying before.” Jack continues
Jack was still firm on the idea that convincing Simon would eventually lead to the whole island being the same. However there was a small part of him that wanted to have just a tiny bit more time with him. This part was not something he recognised and instead pushed down.
“You are rather insistent, aren’t you?” Simon replied.
“Father always said it was good to be…”
Simon was quiet yet again. Jack could tell he was deep in thought and noted how tense his face was. Despite how crazy he thought the boy to be, he secretly wanted to know everything he was thinking about all the time. Simon was always so caught up in his own imagination and yet Jack couldn’t begin to conceptualize what the details of these daydreams were.
“Perhaps I will, only to satisfy your demands of course.” Simon finally concluded.
Jack's eyes widened for a split second. “Very well! I expect to see you early tomorrow then.”
“Aye aye captain…” Simon said meekly
It was obvious that Simon wasn’t ecstatic, but the other boy was convinced he soon would be.
“But listen Jack I must ask… why didn’t you ask Ralph before me?”
It was now Jack’s turn to tense his face.
“Well it’s like I said you are still in choir."
“That's really it?”
“I suppose.”
Jack’s eyes suddenly felt heavy and the warm feeling in his gut about his hunting trip tomorrow made him eager to reach the morning soon. He looked back at Simon, who was in his common position, his head upon his knees.
Jack then got up shakily and balanced on the uneven ground.
“Considering how late it is and how early we should be up for, it's best we get back to sleep now, yes?”
Simon didn’t look up at him and instead kept his gaze out onto the horizon. “Yes, but I would like to stay here a little longer so don’t wait for me…”
The other boy hesitated for a moment before rolling his eyes and making his way through the deep forest.
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