Chapter Text
“You haven't overlooked anything. I can confirm that the enemy has been completely annihilated. Our side didn't suffer any casualties either.”
With no regard for anyone but herself, the Witch happily spiels on and on, just as she always does.
"Were it anyone else, they would not be able to refer to being attacked like this as ‘good fortune’, and yet we've accomplished many of our goals today, at no cost. That is what makes you so interesting to me." She says.
That's probably supposed to be praise, but the smug look on her face ticks me off.
In the first place, there's no point responding to her.
"My, the silent treatment again? I don't even think I did anything to deserve it this time." The Witch fakes a concerned expression as she speaks.
"I'm not giving you the silent treatment. Talking to you is just unpleasant, is all." I say truthfully and honestly.
No reaction from her.
I often wonder if she has enough of a heart to feel hurt by my words.
I have seen her display emotions. I have seen her display a lack of emotions. Just what is it she's lacking?
With a sip from her tea, she changes the topic. "By the way, you haven't asked about the count yet. I was dutifully keeping track for you yet again."
How utterly pointless. Get a hobby.
She chuckles to herself, and smirks. "Memorizing pointless information is my hobby, as it happens."
The way the conversation is going, she might be expecting me to tease her for having such a shit hobby.
First and foremost though, stop reading my fucking mind.
If I want to tell you something, I'll say it out loud.
"...As per our contract, I am allowed 'a taste' of the thoughts and feelings within your heart. Though I understand it might be offputting for me to respond to your thoughts aloud."
If you're going to invoke our contract, then I'll collect on my end of the deal as well.
I sigh. "Whatever. We cleared the Priestella level, but there's still some hurdles. Three, to be exact. Tell me how to overcome them."
Infuriatingly, the Witch smirks. "You've become quite cold-hearted since the start of our contract. I would hesitate to call the upcoming conversations hurdles."
Get to the point.
The Witch clears her throat, and holds up a single finger. "The first hurdle. Elsa was seen by several eyewitnesses, acting under your command and assisting in the battle against the Witch's Cult."
She pokes her cheek and looks up towards the sky. Were it anyone else, such a gesture might be considered cute.
"Considering her history with Lust, I believe the most effective method would be to claim Elsa was blackmailed into acting as the Bowel Hunter, and that she and Meili have been atoning under your guidance. It is not entirely untrue, after all."
It’s less that they’ve atoned and more that the two of them are more scared of me than of ‘Mama’, but it's a statement rooted in truth, so it will be enough to fool Crusch and other troublesome people.
The Witch holds up two fingers.
"The second hurdle. The blonde haired woman you passed on the street, whom I believe to Garfiel and Frederica's amnesiac mother. As it stands, I can't tell how they'll react, so the best option is try various methods of telling them and then resetting until you find the one that gets you the most 'Relationship Points', as you'd say."
The usual tactic. If it works, it works.
The Witch holds up three fingers.
"The third hurdle. Gluttony is dead, and you don't know what you should say when you finally see Rem. I believe this is the hurdle which concerns you the most."
...
"...I don't think any special plan is needed for this 'hurdle'. It's just a matter of talking to her."
I feel my fist clench. "That's not what I want to hear. Tell me what you think I should say."
"I refuse. It's not a violation of our contract either, as the answer you'd come up with on your own would surely bring a greater result than one that I'd supply you with."
I feel my teeth grinding against each other.
When did I stand up?
"Just tell me-!" I begin.
"Until next time, then." She smiles.
And with those words, I am kicked out of the Witch's Tea Party.
A moment of disorientation later, and I find myself on a bridge overlooking a canal, leaning on the railing.
My hand is clasped tightly around the black crystal worn on my neck.
Indeed, I have returned to the real world.
Damned Witch.
A sultry voice sounds out from my left.
Standing right next to me, on my immediate left side, is The Bowel Hunter.
Elsa tilts her head questioningly. "Oh? Have you finished your meditation, Master?"
"Don't call me Master."
Elsa hums and ignores me. "Well, what do you want me to do next, Master? Should I run around looking for the Cult's victims?"
"Nah, nobody's dead or even hurt. We beat the Witch Cult on all fronts. I made sure of it."
I never did hear the exact count from Echidna, but I'd guess the cost of this result was at least fifty or sixty thousand of my own lives.
Elsa licks her lips. "As expected of you."
I'd figured killing Capella would increase her relationship score, but this is seriously disturbing.
"...Anyways, let's head back to the Inn. There should be a meeting going on right about now."
"Fufu."
I turn from her and begin walking, expecting her to follow.
However, just as I do so, I am blinded by an unnatural flash of light for just a split second.
Echidna's voice calls out from the inside of my head.
"That flash of light was accompanied by extremely strong Yang Magic. You were likely attacked. I recommend investigating the source while you can and resetting once it’s identified."
I spin and turn around.
"Elsa! Got eyes on our attacker?!"
The Bowel Hunter does not respond.
Why is she looking at me with that expression?
For what reason do you have, to look at me with regret?
"Elsa...?"
That gaze, so unexpected, has left me frozen in place.
And then she exhales, and the strange tension dissipates somewhat.
"Elsa? Seriously, what are you-"
"Natsuki Subaru."
Her firm tone contrasts her relaxed expression.
Thinking of it now, firmness from Elsa is entirely foreign to me.
She is almost always smiling relaxedly.
Perhaps it was something she learned as an assassin, such as to keep calm no matter the situation.
But with that firm tone, entirely unbefitting her character-
"Everyone knows about Return by Death."
That is what she said.
****
It cannot be a coincidence.
It would be easy enough to write off Rem's sudden recovery as a miracle, but that it would happen while Natsuki Subaru was away from the mansion on business?
Once again, it cannot be a coincidence.
When concerning Natsuki Subaru, things often seem to mysteriously go in his favor.
Of course, these are not coincidences, but the results of the schemes concocted by him and that damnable Witch of Greed.
Having corrupted both Roswaal-Sama and ‘Barusu’, it is my personal opinion that she is the source of all evil in this world.
That said, Rem has recovered.
Rem is awake, and I can remember the precious times we spent together.
Had I known that Witch could bring about such results, would I, too, have sought her out?
Of course I would.
If it's for Rem's sake, selling my soul is a small matter.
…
Back then, at the Sanctuary, had Natsuki Subaru thought the same thing?
I was still unaware of it back then, but he should have already known of Rem's condition.
He was acting as usual when he entered the Tomb, but when he exited, the light in his eyes was gone.
She had long deduced he must have contracted with the Witch at that time, but the question of his motive for doing so continued to elude her.
He had already entered the Tomb at least once before he forged a contract with her, so why hadn't he done so at the earliest opportunity?
He must have had some reason other than saving Rem, but what was it?
Prior to his visit to the Sanctuary, he had always been somewhat foolish, but not so much so as to sell his soul to that evil for no reason.
So, why?
Just what was Natsuki Subaru thinking?
-Suddenly, as if in response to my thoughts, the world is drowned out by an intense flash of light.
When the light dims, I find myself in another location entirely.
“A… theater?” I exclaim under my breath.
In the seat to my left is Rem, who should have been catching up with Frederica in another section of the Mansion.
In the seat to my right is Roswaal-Sama, who should have been out handling negotiations for the Royal Selection, far away from the Mansion.
However, regardless of the physical distance between us, and with no warning whatsoever, all three of us have mysteriously arrived in this theater.
No, not just us three. Just how many people were brought here?
But before anyone had situated themselves well enough to think to call out to the others in the Theater, a booming, omnipresent voice addressed them all.
“WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN”, it said.
“THE SUBJECT OF TODAY'S EXHIBITION IS THE TRUE EXPLOITS OF NATSUKI SUBARU OVER THE PAST YEAR, FINALLY UNOBSCURED”, it said.
“WE WARN THAT THE EXHIBITION WILL NOT STOP FOR ANYTHING”, it said.
“PLEASE ENJOY”, it said.