Work Text:
✧Look
✧You are singlehandedly the reason Bi-Han has beef with modern electronics
✧Every time he catches you giggling at your phone, waving a glowing lightstick, or screaming “KIM NAMJOON MY BELOVED,” his soul leaves his body
✧“What,” he demands one day, staring at you like you summoned a demon, “is a… bangtan sonyeondan?”
✧You try to explain
✧You really do
✧And this man looks at you with the blankest, most judgmental face the Lin Kuei has ever seen
✧You show him MVs and fancams, proudly holding up your ARMY bomb like it’s your firstborn
✧He squints, unimpressed
✧“They are dancing twigs.”
✧You gasp
✧“Their music CHANGES LIVES, Bi-Han. They care about people. They work for change!”
✧He crosses his arms
✧“Then they should become champions instead of flailing about uselessly.”
✧He says it with his whole chest
✧But here’s where it gets funny
✧Bi-Han gets JEALOUS
✧Like… real jealous
✧Because you’re squealing. Chanting. Sobbing over comeback photos
✧Holding your ARMY bomb like it’s the crown jewel of Earthrealm
✧And he’s just standing there like
✧“What do these skinny rainbow-haired mortals have that I do not?”
✧He is the Grandmaster
✧He is handsome
✧He is strong
✧He could freeze a man mid-sentence
✧So why aren’t YOU cheering for HIM like that?
✧You’ll find him later, silently sulking in a corner like a very large, very cold cat
✧When you sit beside him, he doesn’t look at you
✧Until suddenly he grabs your phone, tosses it somewhere, and mutters
✧“Am I not enough for you?”
✧Then he pins you down with zero warning, lips on your collarbone, voice low
✧“What must I do… to earn your attention the way they do?”
✧Yeah
✧Jealous Bi-Han is a problem
✧Good luck, dear 💜