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It wasn’t the first time Hirose was in Otogiri-sensei’s car. He was familiar with the leather seats, the smell of pine with a bitter hint of cigarettes, and the bright colored radio that was currently playing some kind of 80’s J-Pop. It reminded him of the night they were finally found by their teachers in the gym, and when Otogiri-sensei drove them home, he had put on his playlist that Hirose immediately noticed was purely 80’s city pop. There was movement out of the corner of his eye, and when Hirose stole a glance at the rearview mirror, he had seen Nakamura subtly bobbing his head to the beat.
He didn’t know why it stuck with him, and now that every time he was in Otogiri-sensei’s car, it was the only thing he could think of.
“So, girl trouble?”
Hirose blinked, and the memory of Nakamura dissipated from the rearview mirror, being replaced by yellow dashed streets.
“Yeah…you can say that.” He chuckled, his cheeks flushed—as to why, he wasn’t too sure. What he did know, however, was that he was left feeling off after Hana broke up with him, Nakamura’s very surprising comforting words, and—
“Hana broke up with me.”
It was embarrassing to admit, but Otogiri-sensei became like a mentor to him, someone he looked up to and had slowly begun to confide in. He was everything Hirose wanted to be when he grew up, and his teacher wasn’t holding back on any life lessons he could bestow on him.
“The girl who asked you out, right?”
Hirose made a sound from the back of his throat and crossed his arms over his chest.
Otogiri-sensei chuckled, and he slowly hit the brakes as they approached a red light. “Don’t go pouting now. Weren’t you the one who told me you didn’t want to be alone?”
Hirose groaned and rubbed his flushed face. “I know, but—” He didn’t want to acknowledge that the breakup with Hana left him feeling—
“Relieved,” he blurted out, glancing at his teacher before looking out the window. “I’m relieved that Hana broke up with me.”
Otogiri-sensei hummed, lightly stepping on the gas once the light turned green.
“Why don’t you look relieved?”
“Because I shouldn’t be feeling relieved!” Hirose looked at the rearview mirror, replayed the memory of Nakamura from that night, and thought about his words. “I’m just so confused!”
He hadn’t realized that he raised his voice until Otogiri-sensei turned off the radio. His eyes widened, and he immediately turned in his seat to face his teacher.
“I’m sorry!” He tried to bow as low as he could, but he felt a large hand grab his forehead and forcefully, but gently, push him up.
“Don’t be, kid.” Otogiri-sensei placed his hand back on the wheel. “I get it.”
Right, the reason why Hirose was in the car in the first place was because of this very same issue.
“Otogiri-sensei, about your first girlfriend…?”
His teacher smiled, and even that simple gesture had Hirose thinking that the man looked super cool.
“I had the same reaction as you when we finally broke up.”
“What!” Hirose gaped while his teacher laughed. “Why?” It couldn’t be for the same reasons why he felt relieved, right?
Otogiri-sensei shrugged, his fingers drumming a beat only he could hear on the wheel. “She made me realize that she wasn’t my type.”
Hirose was waiting for him to explain because it sounded like an unfinished sentence, but Otogiri-sensei didn’t continue, and Hirose’s mouth twisted in thought.
“Here’s a life lesson for you, kid,” he said. “If you figured out something about her that you didn’t like, don’t date another person just like her.”
Hirose’s eyes widened, and he leaned forward. Any kind of snippet his teacher gave him about his past life, he soaked it in like a sponge in a tub of water. “Did you...end up dating someone just like her?”
“You bet I did.” Otogiri-sensei glanced at him and laughed seeing Hirose’s eager expression. “I’m not sure what you’re expecting, but I’m not about to tell you about my wild adventures.”
Hirose blushed a deep red and he yelped, “What! I don’t want to know, no way!”
His teacher grinned and turned on the direction to go left, swiftly maneuvering the car on the turn. “Good because you’re not gonna.”
Hirose pouted and slumped against his seat, his arms crossing over his chest.
There was a lapse of silence—Otogiri-sensei staring ahead, Hirose staring out the window—when his teacher said, “I saw Nakamura leaving the school around the same time I found you.”
Hirose sat up straighter, and his heart beat to the rhythm of the 80’s J-Pop song that played on the night they were found at the gym. The bobbing of Nakamura’s head, his small smile as he looked out the window, his words—“She doesn’t understand you, Hirose. She doesn’t see your appeal.”
He couldn’t say anything, terrified that some kind of incomprehensible sound would escape him, so he nodded his head as lieu of an answer.
Otogiri-sensei doesn’t point out the sudden silence. “He’s a good friend.”
Hirose thought about the time they went to Yokohama, the way Nakamura encouraged him to not only speak the truth, but stand up for himself, and how in that moment Hirose saw a different side of his friend, a side he never knew existed, but now he was dying to know more of.
“He really is,” he sighed with a smile. “People are always pushing him to the side, and it pisses me off. He’s a great listener, and he’s really easy to talk to once you get to know him. He’s really funny too!” Hirose giggled remembering the time Nakamura ranted about his younger sister. “He tries his best at everything, and even though he’s shy, it doesn’t mean he’s boring. He’s actually really interesting! Did you know he really likes octopi? I should have known better than to assume that he didn’t…” He frowned, thinking about all the times he took Nakamura’s words about not liking octopi at face value, when the evidence was right there. “His face always lights up when he talks about them. I swear I can see stars in his eyes when he does! Also—”
He abruptly stopped once he realized how dry his mouth was. How long was he talking? His cheeks, ears, and the back of his neck burned, and he gazed down at his lap, fingers interlaced, and he squeezed his hands, doing his best not to acknowledge the wave of nerves that was currently hitting him.
“I see.”
His teacher’s gruff voice snapped him out of his daze.
“Yeah…” He swallowed and wiped his clammy palms on his pants. “He’s a good friend.”
They were getting closer to his house, so any minute now, Hirose was going to walk out of Otogiri-sensei’s car with his heart heavy in his chest for reasons he still didn’t know why. He was relieved that Hana broke up with him, beyond happy about what Nakamura told him—and that was the thing that was tipping him off.
He was more happy that he bumped into Nakamura, happy what Nakamura told him, than being sad over his breakup with his first girlfriend.
“Girls are hard to talk to,” he confessed.
“They sure are,” sighed Otogiri-sensei. “Trust me, I’ve tried.”
“What?” snickered Hirose, the tension in his body slowly unwinding. “Talking to them?”
His teacher shrugged, a twinkle in his black eyes, as he said, “And dating them.”
Hirose immediately frowned, brows furrowing in confusion, and as he was about to ask what that meant, they pulled up in front of his house.
“And we’re here!”
“No fair!” Hirose pouted. “You did that on purpose!”
“Did what?” Otogiri-sensei rubbed his chin. “Drop you off your house?”
“No,” whispered Hirose, looking away, and crossing his arms over his chest. “You didn’t even tell me what to do…”
“I can’t tell you what to do, Hirose,” said Otogiri-sensei with a seriousness that he only got when he was about to give him a lecture—or a life lesson. “What I can tell you is that you should follow what you’re feeling without thinking too much about it. The moment you force logic where it doesn’t belong, things get confusing, and you wind up doubting every thought you’ll have.
“You said you were having girl trouble, but then you told me you were relieved about the break up.” Otogiri-sensei shrugged. “So you’re relieved. Check that off your list. Then you said you’re confused. What question are you trying to forcefully answer?”
Nakamura, Hirose thought. His soft smile, his encouraging words—“She doesn’t understand you, Hirose.”
The press of a cold can against his cheek made him flinch and yelp. Otogiri-sensei laughed and shook the can of iced milk tea. “Let your parents know that I bought it for you because of good grades.”
Hirose rolled his eyes, but he laughed as he grabbed the can and his bag. Once he was on the sidewalk, he bowed to his teacher. “Thank you, Otogiri-sensei.”
He grinned and waved him off. “No worries. And, Hirose?” He perked up. “If you need to talk to me again about anything you’re confused about, don’t hesitate to call me.” He waved his phone.
Hirose smiled, cheeks flushed, and the heavy weight on his chest felt lighter. “Thanks!”
He heard the car drive off the moment he stepped inside his home. He ran upstairs and closed his door, sighing as he jumped on his bed. He sunk into the mattress, and he turned his head to see his window. The sun was setting, painting the sky a pretty orange with red streaks, and he couldn’t help but think of the beach, of laughter, of a gentle yet firm hand on his wrist—
He dug out his phone from his pocket and scrolled through his contacts. His eyes widened once he saw that a certain person wasn’t there. He really wanted to talk to him, it was akin to a desperation he rarely felt, and his fingers twitched, wanting to hear his voice now, hear his rants about his younger sister, about school, about their classmates—
Why did he want to hear it? Why did he need to hear it?
He slowly exhaled. Don’t force it, he thought. Don’t.
The next day, when the bell rang to signify the end of school, he strode up to Nakamura who was barely packing his things
“Are you busy today?”
Nakamura looked up from his bag, his eyes wide, and mouth agape. He always had the same expression of awe, surprise, and something else every time Hirose talked to him.
“Um…”
Hirose didn’t wait for a response. He smiled widely, “Wanna walk home together?”
Nakamura continued to stare at him. “Hm?”
Hirose cocked his head to the side, his smile still present, but the edges turning soft, “I was asking if you wanted to go home together?”
There was a delayed reaction, but once Nakamura fully processed what he said, Hirose wasn’t expecting him to jump to his feet and slam his desk multiple times while shouting, “Yes! Yes!”
Hirose’s eyes widened in shock before laughing. “Nakamura, you don’t need to do all of that! We’re just walking home together.” But something about it was making Hirose want to jump around too. “Oh, that’s right.” He fished his phone out and handed it to Nakamura. He grinned, “Add me on Line.”
He watched with strange intensity as Nakamura cradled his phone like it was a rare porcelain. He didn’t know why it made him happy to see him shakily entering his digits, but he figured that he shouldn’t force logic where it didn’t belong.
Sou watched Hirose and Nakamura leave the school side by side. He was leaning against his car, a lit cigarette in one hand, while the other was in his pocket. He inhaled, breathing in the smoke, before slowly exhaling.
“Smoking will shorten your lifespan.”
Sou didn’t even have to look to the side to know who it was. He laughed, flicking his cigarette so the ash could fall, before inhaling the smoke again.
“So you say, Niou-san,” he said, finally turning to see the gym teacher walking in his direction with a scowl on his face.
“You speak to me as if we’re only co-workers.” He leaned against his car, arms crossed over his chest, as he looked straight ahead. “We grew up in the same school.”
“The very same one we work in now.”
Kaoru grinned, looking up at the sky now. “I remember busting your ass when I caught you smoking out in the back.”
Sou chuckled, throwing his cigarette at the ground, stomping on it. “Yeah, and if I remember correctly, you said you weren’t going to tell the teachers if I gave you a kiss.” He shrugged, taking out his car keys. “The one month of detention was the worst.”
There was silence where there shouldn’t have been. Sou turned to Kaoru and quirked a brow. He tried not to show it, how much he regretted not pursuing the pull he had for the man in front of him, but now that he was much older, wiser than he was when he was a kid, he knew that in moments like these, where the crack of his nonchalance only grew, he couldn’t help but relish how Kaoru would look away, flustered, and mumble something under his breath before stomping away.
He sighed once he was alone, looking at the entrance gate where Nakamura was currently arguing with a student not from their school. If he could help his students not make the same mistake he had made at their age, he would do it.
Anything just so they could get their happy ending.