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"You look incredible hyung." Mingi says, Hongjoong straightens his tie for the sixth time in the mirror, it's been perfect each time. It doesn't matter, Mingi knows it's part of Hongjoong's little routine. He will need to fix it at least eight times before he deems it perfect. He wonder's if his husband to be knows that about him.
"Thank you Mingi…you know, I'm really glad you came." Hongjoong turns, fully facing him now. He looks otherworldly, suit tailored to fit him perfectly, snug around the waist how he likes it, gold cuff links — a gift from his late grandmother — hair slicked back with a few stray pieces hanging over his forehead.
A streak of pretty shimmery highlight catches the light on his cheek, Mingi notices the soft pink lip color smeared over his lips. The smudge of eyeliner brightens his deep brown irises.
Breathtaking. Always breathtaking.
"Of course, I couldn't miss your big day." Mingi quips with a smile, he wonders if he Hongjoong sees right past it. If he can look right through Mingi's chest and see the crack right down his heart.
Hongjoong smiles back, though he notices how he chews the inside of his lip, a nervous habit.
Does Wooyoung know that about him? He wonders if he catches all the little quirks that make Hongjoong who he is.
Hongjoong opens his mouth, about to speak, closes it, eyes darting across Mingi's face.
Mingi swallows the lump in his throat, he feels caught, as if Hongjoong can see the thoughts floating in his mind.
Don't marry him. He thinks. His mind screams it actually. He secretly hopes he can read his thoughts.
"Well…I guess I better get out there." Hongjoong says it like it's a question, as if he's hoping Mingi has the answer.
He doesn't. Not the answer he's sure Hongjoong wants.
He nods.
Hongjoong scans his face again. A look he can't place spreads across his delicate features, something akin to sorrow.
Without another word, he turns on his heel and walks towards the exit.
Mingi's eyes don't leave his back. He knows this will be the last time he sees Hongjoong before he steps down that isle and binds himself to another forever.
"I-" Mingi pauses, stops the words that almost tumble out of him. Hongjoong's head turns, "Did you say something?" he ask.
Mingi shakes his head. "No..just, best of luck." he lies. His chest cracks deeper, it feels like an open wound now, bleeding and aching.
Hongjoong nods, Mingi swears a look of disappointment flashes in his eyes. He thinks it must be the nerves.
He leaves then, door snapping shut behind him. Mingi sucks in a breath, chest rising and falling quickly.
He feels the ache deep in his body, threatening to pull him under and crash him to the floor.
He sucks in the air, but it smells too much like Hongjoong. His cologne, his shampoo, him.
The same shampoo Mingi used to smell on his pillow when he would wake up to slow mornings when the other would climb on top of him and leave him breathless and satiated.
The same cologne he smelled when Hongjoong wrapped his arms around him while tears streamed down his face.
"I just think we need a break."
The words rattle in his brain now. The sadness in Hongjoong's face as he cradled Mingi.
It was just a break. Time apart to make themselves better, and then life would bring them back together in a month or two.
A break meant temporary. That's what he told himself each night he laid down in an empty bed, or ate dinner alone, or when his calls started going to voicemail.
Hongjoong had said he just needed time to sort himself out. That he loved him, but he felt lost in who he was.
Mingi believed him.
Until six months later Hongjoong finally called. Mingi felt that hope he clinged to wash over him one final time.
That he was finally ready to come back, back to Mingi.
"I met someone." Hongjoong had whispered on the other end.
Mingi didn't hear much after that.
That was a year and a half ago, and Mingi didn't think he could feel hurt worse than he did that day.
Not until six months ago when he opened the mailbox to a pretty white envelope with the words "save the date" sprawled across the top.
He wanted to call him that night, pour his heart out, beg him to come back.
But that was selfish, and the one thing Mingi wanted more than the other man to be back in his arms was for him to be happy.
Even if it wasn't with him.
So he shoved the invitation in the back of the drawer, with no intention of showing up.
But as the day crept nearer, Mingi couldn't shake the feeling of needing to see him one last time, see him happy. Maybe then, he could let him go for good.
He moves into the ceremony area, guest have filtered in — the sound of laughter ring off his ears like nails on a chalkboard.
He takes a spot in the back, but a few wandering eyes catch him anyways. He sees them whisper, the way they give him a pitying look, he feels nauseous.
A soft tune echos through the venue, silence follows over the guest, the doors click open and everyone turns.
He watches as each wedding party member filters down the isle. Some he recognizes, Hongjoong's family and friends, people he once loved as well.
Wooyoung comes out first, his parents on either side of him.
He's handsome, has kind eyes, a pretty smile. He can see why Hongjoong would love someone like him.
Hongjoong steps out next, his mom and dad on each arm. Mingi's breath catches in his chest.
In this light, he's so beautiful.
Hongjoong walks slowly down the isle, a smile spread across his cheeks, eyes fixed on the men waiting at the end.
It's his best and worst dream coming true at the same time. He had this dream many times before, Hongjoong walking down the isle, surrounded by loved ones, but it was Mingi at the end of the isle, not another man.
When Hongjoong reaches the end of the isle and steps up beside Wooyoung, he feels his body shake, feels his eyes feel with tears, and the pit in his stomach hits so hard he thinks he may throw up.
He swallows hard, forcing back the tears.
The officiant begins to speak, Mingi's ears are ringing too hard to hear anything. His eyes don't leave Hongjoong, and he watches as the other man turns his head and scans the room.
Hongjoong looks at each row, searching, until his gaze finally catches Mingi and stays there.
Mingi can't stop the tear that trickles down his cheek then. Not with the way Hongjoong's brow creases, and his eyes gloss over.
Don't marry him. He wants to shout, he wants to jump up and scream at the top of his lungs.
It's Mingi who has to break eye contact, he feels like he's drowning, he keeps being pulled under despite his best efforts in trying to swim.
He finally looks back up, Hongjoong is looking at Wooyoung now.
He's rocking slightly though, another sign he's nervous. Mingi wishes he could comfort him, but he knows those days have long passed between them.
Again, Hongjoong looks out to the crowd but this time he instantly finds Mingi.
It feels like being the air is being punched out of his lungs. He looks sad, and Mingi doesn't understand.
Finally he hears distantly the officiant mention "I Do's". Hongjoong turns back to his fiance then.
He goes through the spill with Wooyoung first, and when he says "I Do." Mingi looks away then.
It was Hongjoong's turn, and though Mingi wanted to show up for him, see him happy, it was too much to bear.
He stands quietly, he's thankful he chose a spot in the back because no one seems to notice when he shuffles towards the exit.
No one except Hongjoong, who's face looks panicked now. He's looking back and forth from Mingi to Wooyoung.
Don't marry him. The words are on his tongue now. Words he desperately wants to say, words that will die today, along with Mingi's fragile heart.
Wooyoung turns then, spots Mingi with a surprised look and then turns back to his fiance with concern.
Mingi hold's Hongjoong's eyes one final time, he thinks he sees a small tear fall from his eye, and then dips out the door.
He doesn't stop or turn back until he's outside and gasping for breath.
Sobs rack his body, and he wraps his arms around himself in attempt not to fall apart completely, he has to make it home at least.
He turns back to the exit door, a small wishful part of him hoped to see Hongjoong bursting through them.
He snubs that last part of hope out, let's the small embers that were once flames that burned so brightly for the other man it could have flattened an entire city, finally turn into smoke.
Mingi reaches his car finally. Heart shattered and body worn, he's ready to go home.
His hand reaches for the handle, he jumps when he feels a small hand placed on his shoulder.
He whirls around, coming face to face with Hongjoong.
Mingi thinks his heart stops then. He's frozen in place, unable to move or speak, but he sees the way Hongjoong's chest is rising and falling and he's desperatly trying to catch his breath.
Tears have stained his cheeks, and fresh ones fall as he looks up into Mingi's eyes.
"Wait…" Hongjoong breaths out.