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"I admit that aside from it being necessary, it is fun to come to the company from time to time." The media mogul Charles Augustus Milverton, leaned back in the seat and gave a look at his secretary, Ruskin, who was sitting in front of him with the usual unbothered expression on his face. "Even if only for the gossip."
Ruskin understandably nodded to his employer's excitement. He knew how much Mr. Milverton was fond of any kind of information, even if it was mere gossip. This was what fuelled the King of Blackmail's power after all and gave him ideas where to strike the next time. Of course, Mr. Milverton never caused harm to his subordinates. He was smarter than that. He treated his employees genuinely nice and with Ruskin, he was especially informal. It was not surprising that even if it was forbidden, Ruskin ended up falling in love with Mr. Milverton. Luckily, it was only showing through unusually fast heartbeat in his employer's presence, the trembling of his fingers and occasionally, in tiny blushes if Mr. Milverton touched him or complimented him. Ruskin was sure that his secret was safe and his employer couldn't find out about it.
"The gossip I heard on the corridor today was especially juicy." Mr. Milverton continued with a smile. "It was about Miss Weiss in the editorial department. It is said that she has feelings for her higher-up, Mr. Brown."
Ruskin shook a little from the topic and he inquisitively peeked at Mr. Milverton. It was like his employer was suddenly able to read what was in his mind. But it was impossible. Just a mere coincidence. There couldn't be more to it. Couldn't... right?
"What do you think about this?" Mr. Milverton now directed the question to him, making Ruskin need to answer. Ruskin inhaled a deep breath.
"I think that it is possible, sir." He tried to answer as naturally as he could. "I saw the looks she sometimes gave him. It is highly likely that she indeed has feelings for Mr. Brown - though, we can only speculate how strong they are."
He saw that Mr. Milverton watched him with a strange look in his golden eyes, so Ruskin slightly turned his head away. He wished that his employer changed the topic to one of his usual evil plans, but Mr. Milverton seemed to be keen to discuss the matter further.
"And what is your opinion on this, Ruskin?" He tilted his head. "Is it right to fall in love with your higher-up?"
The unexpected question made Ruskin gulp. What should he say to this? He knew well that this was not right... but it was hard to control the feelings. His own feeling what he had for Mr. Milverton as well. He didn't want to fall in love with him and risk the professional relationship they shared with each other. That platonic bond of evil. But he ended up developing emotions for Mr. Milverton and there was no way back from them. Ruskin didn't even want to erase them even if he could. It was wrong, but it somehow made his life content, giving him one more purpose. To make the man he loved happy. To give everything what he has to Mr. Milverton.
"It is not right." He said slowly. "But people can't be forbidden to feel. It is part of human life, even if it makes someone weak. Wrong. Immoral. It certainly complicates things if you happen to fall in love with your higher-up, but your employer is a person, after all. If someone treats you kindly, it is hard to not start loving them."
Mr. Milverton stayed silent for long, long moments. Ruskin was unable to look in his direction. He was sure that it would immediately tell about his own feelings which he was still desperate to keep.
"So this is how you see it." He told Ruskin in the end.
Ruskin nodded.
"I am sorry if it is upsetting, sir." He answered.
"It is not upsetting." Mr. Milverton clarified it. He continued after a little stop. "But regarding this topic... don't you have something to tell me?"
Ruskin froze from the tone of Mr. Milverton's sentence. In that moment, he realized that he knew his secret all along. That was the only reason he brought up the gossip about Miss Weiss. It was not her feelings he wanted to talk about... but Ruskin's. The forbidden feelings he had.
Ruskin turned red from the shame and the fear. Did he make Mr. Milverton displeased? Did he end up failing him with his love? Did he think of it as an insult, of Ruskin not respecting him enough? The doubts made him unable to breathe. He wanted to disappear into the carriage's floor... when suddenly, he felt a touch on his chin. He faintly felt that Mr. Milverton raised his head to make him look into his eyes. His gaze was not angry. It was unexpectedly soft.
"Don't pass out. I didn't mean to blame you. For months, I have been aware that you have feelings for me. It is fine. You are allowed to feel."
The air burst out of Ruskin's lungs. Mr. Milverton was still holding his chin gently, circling his fingers on Ruskin's skin. His touch was burning. But Ruskin didn't fear anymore that it would devour him for what he had done. He didn't fall in love with Mr. Milverton without a reason. He took the matter with surprising understanding for the King of Blackmail who preyed on people for their love.
But for Ruskin, he was not only that. He saw more in Mr. Milverton than just his evil nature. He was a human understandable to love.
Ruskin smiled up at his employer.
"This is exactly why I love you, sir." He said gently. You are kinder than what you think. He didn't add the last sentence loudly, he only thought of it while he enjoyed the hand which was still caressing his face.
It was tender like a lover's hand.