Work Text:
“Oliver, are you even listening to me? Oliver?”
Oliver isn’t paying her the slightest attention. Laurel’s pestering voice is a mere flutter in his thoughts as he concentrates his efforts on the conversation happening in the next room, between Connor and their newest client. The voices are muffled by distance, but the light tone and soft laughter that filters out of the room is enough to make his heart clench uncomfortably in his chest.
“You know I was never really your lawyer, right? I’m just a student…”
“Yeah I know… But still, you put a lot of work into this case. And I’m… I’m so grateful. We wouldn’t have won it without you.”
“Thanks. Yeah, it was pretty exciting being first chair. I’m glad I was able to help. But seriously, most of the hard work was done by Annalise, so don’t feel like you owe me anything.”
“I’m just really relieved it’s over, to be honest.”
“Hey, going to court is stressful for everyone. Lawyers and students included.”
“Yeah. Um… Connor?”
“Yeah?”
“I was wondering, now that the case is over… And technically I’m not your client anymore. Would you… would you like to grab a drink with me some time?”
“Are you… asking me out?”
“Yes… yes, I am.”
“Uh… I um…”
Oliver jumps out of his seat and stumbles into the other room as quick as his legs can carry him, not caring about how he bumps his thigh painfully against the couch, or the douchey comment Asher makes when he nearly runs him over. He only cares about one thing, and that’s stopping whatever answer is about to come out of Connor’s mouth.
“Hi!” He says, interrupting a bit too loudly. The two men in front of him jump in surprise. Oliver’s eyes lock on Connor’s. They stare, unblinking for just a moment too long. Oliver thinks he should probably say something more—make an excuse, go for the fridge and separate them, ask Connor about a file from the case, anything, literally anything—
“What’s up, Oliver?” Connor’s expression is unreadable. “Did you need something?”
“Yeah um… I uh…” Oliver stutters as he tries to think of what to say. “I—I need to talk to you about something. In private.”
Connor doesn’t look away, but he doesn’t move or say a word either.
Russell looks between them. He could probably cut the tension with a knife. “I’ll let you guys talk,” he finally says, turning to Connor. “We can finish our conversation later?”
Connor nods and drops his gaze as Russell walks out of the room, leaving him alone with Oliver for the first time in a while. Since their breakup, they’ve been tolerant of each other at best. They barely speak—which is difficult seeing how they work in the same house. The others do their best to deal with it, which really means no one dares mentions it when they’re both in a room together. And it’s certainly territory that neither of them have been willing to cross themselves—discussions of anything pertaining to them. What they were, and what they could have been…
The aftermath of their breakup was tough for both of them. And neither had been willing to discuss the painful repercussions of their actions.
“What did you want to talk to me about?” Connor asks. His tone is dejected, and it’s clear that he doesn’t have much to say to Oliver at the moment.
Oliver’s mind stumbles over all the things he wants to say—had wanted to say for weeks but couldn’t muster up the courage. “I um… I just wanted to uh… congratulate you on your case,” he says weakly, and then immediately mentally kicks himself in the ass.
“Thanks.” Connor gives him a strange look, like Oliver’s not fooling him one bit.
“I bet Russell’s pretty happy about it,” Oliver laughs weakly, wondering how it got so hard to talk to Connor. But he knows exactly how.
“Yeah well, the guy doesn’t have to go to prison,” Connor’s voice drips with sarcasm. “That would probably be most people’s response.”
Oliver sighs softly. “I’m sorry, Connor.” He finally whispers.
Connor stares at him silently for a moment, swallowing the lump in this throat. “I don’t know what you expect me to do with your apology. You weren’t exactly generous to mine.”
It’s a low blow. And all Oliver can do is shrug, because honestly he doesn’t know either. “I’m sorry things between us got so bad. I—I miss you.” He carefully looks at the expression on Connor’s face but it’s unreadable once again. He takes a shaky breath before continuing. “Connor… don’t hook up with Russell… Please?”
Connor’s expression grows hard, and he narrows his eyes. “You think you have the right to ask that of me?”
“No, no of course not,” Oliver says softly. “I know I don’t have the right. I—I know things were my fault. I was the one who hurt you, and then wanted to break up, but—I don’t know, I think I’m just a little lost right now. And I know that I can’t ask this of you. But please… please don’t hook up with him, don’t date him, just… I’m so sorry, but I’m asking… I—I can’t see you two together. I—I can’t see you with someone else. I just can’t…”
A moment of silence passes, too long that Oliver feels the sting of tears in his eyes.
Finally, Connor gives him a small nod.
Oliver blinks, unsure if he imagined it. “Yes?” He whispers.
“Yeah,” Connor says softly. “You’re asking me not to see the guy, not to sleep with him… so I won’t.”
Oliver struggles against the onslaught of emotions threatening to overflow in his chest. He wants to reach forward and pull Connor into his arms in the tightest embrace, but that’s just one more thing that he’s not allowed to do anymore. He doesn’t think Connor might take pity on him twice today. He finally settles on a quiet, “thank you.”
Connor nods, then turns to walk around Oliver out of the kitchen.
“Connor wait,” Oliver says before he can get too far. “I um—”
“Stop.” Connor cuts him off with a shake of his head. “We’re not okay, Oliver. And I don’t know if we’re ever going to be okay. I’m doing you this favor, that’s it. Don’t think you can ask anything else of me.” He gives him one last hard glare before walking out of the room.
Oliver lets out a breath when he’s gone, sagging against the kitchen island.
He doesn’t know how they’re going to fix them. A part of him desperately wants things to go back to the way they were. But nothing’s changed, and they’re still deeply dysfunctional. He’s still in love with Connor, the mere thought of seeing him with someone else tells him that. And he knows in his heart that Connor still loves him too.
So why are they still so broken?