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“Daddy!”
I wake to the sound of a whisper shout coming from the other side of the bed.
Beside me, Xaden stirs instantly, one arm still wrapped securely around my waist where he’d been spooning me. His grip loosens as he rolls slightly toward the tiny figure standing beside his side of the bed.
“Hey, baby girl,” he whispers back, voice rough with sleep. “What is it?”
“I gots my card and art from daycare and all the stuff for mummy,” Fen says proudly, her words tumbling over each other in the adorable way only a three-year-old can manage.
Even with my eyes closed, I can picture the expression on her face perfectly, bouncing on the spot with excitement, probably clutching Sgaeyl in one arm while trying not to explode from keeping secrets.
“That’s pretty exciting.” Xaden’s voice softens even further. “But I think mummy needs some more sleep first, yeah? Good job coming to me instead of waking her up. How about you go put the TV on and I’ll be out in a minute?”
“And want beck-west,” Fen instructs seriously, still pronouncing breakfast in the cutest way, before racing from the room. I bite back a smile. She’s recently mastered turning the TV on herself and selecting her cartoons independently, which she considers the peak of human achievement.
Personally, I’m just praying for Bluey. I don’t think I can survive another morning of Cocomelon songs getting trapped in my head.
“Mmmm.” Xaden rolls back toward me for one last moment, pressing his chest against my back again. He nuzzles his face briefly into my neck, warm and sleepy and reluctant.
“Love you,” I murmur, eyes still closed.
“Love you too.” I feel him press a kiss to my shoulder before the mattress shifts again as he climbs out of bed. “Now go back to sleep.”
A moment later, I hear him padding out of the room after our tiny chaos gremlin, followed almost immediately by Fen squealing with laughter somewhere down the hallway. Probably already jumping on the couch cushions.
A moment later I hear the baby monitor crackle and soft babbles fill the room. I crack one eye open just enough to glance toward the screen on my bedside table. Liam is standing in his cot, messy dark hair sticking up everywhere as he clutches his stuffed red dragon in one tiny fist.
“Da-da-da.”
A few seconds later, Xaden appears on the monitor and lifts him up. Liam wraps himself around him like a sleepy koala. My heart squeezes painfully.
Even through the grainy monitor screen, I can see Deigh tucked tightly beneath Liam’s arm. Of course Fen had insisted Liam needed a dragon too when he was born.
“But red,” she’d told us firmly at two years old. “Because red ones go fast.”
Xaden had somehow taken that as a completely serious assignment. He spent weeks hunting down one similar enough to Sgaeyl that Fen approved. Apparently nothing less than perfect would do for her baby brother.
Sgaeyl had originally belonged to Xaden when he was little. Fen takes the faded blue dragon everywhere now. Tucked under one arm at daycare drop offs, dragged through grocery shops, wedged between us in bed during thunderstorms. Amari help me if we ever lose her.
Somehow seeing our children carrying around pieces of his childhood still gets me every single time.
I let my eyes drift shut again. Sleep doesn’t come back easily though. Instead, I lie there listening to the distant sounds of my family downstairs.
Fen talking at a million miles an hour. Xaden gently redirecting her chaos. Liam babbling nonsense in response.
A cartoon theme song starts faintly through the floorboards. Bluey. Thank god.
A sleepy smile pulls at my lips as I sink deeper into the pillows. Mother’s Day. Honestly, my relationship with my own mum is complicated at best. She’d texted yesterday apologising that she was too busy to catch up this weekend. Maybe next week.
Part of me understands, another part still aches anyway. But at least she’s here. At least she stayed.
Xaden’s mother disappeared when he was ten. Just gone. No real explanation that made sense to a kid left wondering why his mother didn’t love him enough to stay. He found her again years later as an adult. She apologised, cried, tried to explain herself. Xaden listened because that’s who he is. Then he walked away because some wounds don’t disappear just because someone says sorry.
I’ve never pushed him about it. Never expected forgiveness from him just because society thinks children owe their parents endless chances. He’s already broken cycles he never should’ve had to survive in the first place.
And now he’s the kind of father who gets up before dawn so his wife can sleep in. The kind who learned how to braid tiny curls because Fen asked once. The kind who can settle Liam faster than anyone else in the world. The kind who makes our children feel safe so naturally it seems woven into him.
I don’t think he realises sometimes just how extraordinary he is. The thought leaves my chest warm and aching all at once.
I’m halfway to dozing again when suddenly–
“MUMMY!” Something launches directly onto the bed.
“Oof-” She luckily lands on my legs rather than my stomach for once.
“Fen!” Xaden appears in the doorway a second later looking horrified. “What did we say about jumping on mummy?”
Fen freezes mid-climb across my stomach, curls wild around her face.
“…gentle?”
“Yes, gentle. But we also said no jumping on her, especially when she's sleeping.”
I can’t stop the laugh that escapes me as she immediately collapses into an apology cuddle instead, Sgaeyl squashed awkwardly between us.
“Sorry, mummy.”
“It’s okay, baby.” I smooth her hair back from her forehead. “But we need to be gentle with mummy, remember?” She nods seriously.
Xaden eyes me carefully from the doorway. “You can go back to sleep if you want.”
“I’m awake now.”
“Vi-”
“I’m fine.” I smile at him. “Besides, someone already used me as a trampoline.”
Fen giggles as Xaden sighs dramatically. “I used to command grown men. Now I negotiate with tiny terrorists.”
“I BIG now,” Fen corrects immediately.
“Terrifying," Xaden nods solemly.
I snort softly as Xaden walks over and sits carefully on the edge of the bed.
The morning light catches him properly now, his messy dark hair, sleep-creased shirt, swirling tattoos peeking beneath his short sleeves. God, I love this man.
I start to shift like I’m getting up.
“Absolutely not.” I blink at him. “You are not leaving this bed yet,” he informs me firmly.
“Yes, sir,” I say playfully. His eyes darken instantly.
“Daddy’s making the weird face again.” Of course Fen notices.
I bite the inside of my cheek. “The face?” I ask innocently.
“The one where he likes you.” Xaden drags a hand down his face while I burst into laughter.
“I always like mummy,” he mutters.
He leans over to Fen's ear and whispers something softly into her ear. She squeals and suddenly leaps up, loudly whispering “yes!”, then launches off the bed and sprints out of the room again.
“What was that about?” I ask.
Xaden looks at me with a smile so warm it makes my chest ache. “You'll see," he says.
Before I can argue, tiny unsteady footsteps wobble down the hallway. Liam appears in the doorway clutching Deigh upside down.
“Mumma!”
“Hi, sweetheart.”
He toddles toward the bed as quickly as his little legs can manage before faceplanting dramatically against the mattress. Xaden catches him before disaster can strike, lifting him easily onto the bed beside me. Liam immediately crawls into my lap and presses his warm little face into my chest.
“Cuddle mummy,” he announces.
“Best idea I’ve heard all day.”
He pats my cheek proudly. Xaden leans over and whispers something in his ear.
“Happy Mudder Day mumma!" he shouts.
My ovaries nearly explode on the spot. “Thank you, baby.”
I see Xaden leave the room and a moment later, Fen barrels back in, carrying an enormous pile of handmade gifts in her arms.
“I GOT STUFF!"
The pile immediately topples everywhere as she tries to catch it as it falls.
Then she notices Liam curled against me and her face crumples.
“No.” She points accusingly. “My mummy.”
Liam blinks at her.
“Mine,” Fen repeats louder, lower lip wobbling. "Go away Li-Li. My cuddle time!"
Xaden intervenes instantly. “Hey.” His voice stays calm and steady. “We don’t talk like that.”
“But I wanted mummy first!” Her eyes look like they’re about to spill tears.
I shift slightly and open my free arm toward her. “Fen," I say softly and see her hesitate. “I’ve got two arms, baby. See?” I wiggle them demonstratively. “One for Liam and one for you.”
She considers this very seriously. Liam, desperate for his sister’s approval, immediately scooches sideways to make room.
Fen visibly softens. “Oh.”
“Problem solved,” Xaden mutters under his breath.
Fen climbs beside us and wedges herself firmly against my side. “Mummy gets double cuddles.”
“The best kind.”
Then the presents begin. Or rather, the chaos begins. Fen vibrates with excitement while Liam mostly attempts to eat wrapping paper.
Xaden settles himself at the end of the bed, quietly prompting them through everything.
“What’s this one?” he asks Fen.
“Pot pant!” Tiny painted handprints cover the flowerpot in crooked streaks of colour. WE LOVE MUMMY is scrawled messily across the front. My chest aches.
“There’s more,” Fen announces proudly.
Of course there is. A little homemade book from daycare full of dictated answers.
My mummy is 72 years old
She has pink hair
My favourite thing about mummy is: she gives hugs and snacks
My mummy says: please put your shoes on Fen
Mummy’s favourite food is: mac and cheese and dino nuggets
My mummy is: pretty because daddy says so
I laugh so hard tears sting my eyes. “Oh my god.” Xaden has a look and matches my reaction.
Then comes a necklace with both kids’ initials. A framed photo covered in toddler stickers. A card with Liam’s paint-covered footprint that must also be from daycare. And finally, a folded handwritten letter from Xaden.
Thank you for giving me this life.
For giving me them.
For choosing us every day.
I loved you before you made me a dad. And I somehow love you even more because of it.
Happy Mother’s Day, Vi.
X
My throat tightens painfully.
“Daddy helped,” Fen whispers proudly.
“I can tell." I look up to him and Xaden suddenly looks almost shy beneath my stare. Like he isn’t fully aware how much love I have for him.
Eventually we manage to leave the room. The kids settle at their tiny table eating breakfast while Xaden makes me tea, as I sit curled up on the couch watching him move around the kitchen. Fen chatters endlessly. Liam watching her in awe.
Xaden walks over and hands me a steaming mug before sitting beside me. “You okay?” he asks quietly.
I lean into him automatically. “More than okay.”
His arm wraps around my shoulders. The kids continue conversing loudly nearby, Fen explaining why dragons prefer toast over cereal, with Liam holding onto her every word.
“We’re lucky,” I murmur.
Xaden presses a kiss into my hair. “Yeah. We are.”
I glance up at him. “I actually have a present for the family too.”
He frowns slightly. “You bought us something?”
“No.” I smile softly. “It was technically your doing.”
Confusion flickers again across his face. Then understanding hits. His entire body stills as I place a hand on my belly.
“…Vi?"
“I’m pregnant. About 5 or 6 weeks I think.”
For a heartbeat, he just stares at me. Then he laughs softly, seemingly overwhelmed and disbelieving all at once.
“Are you serious?” I nod, knowing it is something he has been wanting since Liam was born, but respecting my reluctance and not pushing. His hands frame my face immediately as he kisses me deeply.
“I love you,” he murmurs against my mouth. “Fuck, I love you so much.” Then he drops to his knees in front of me. Actually drops.
“Xaden-?”
He kisses my stomach gently through my shirt. Not flat anymore after two kids, but not rounded with pregnancy yet either. Still, the look on his face is almost reverent.
“Hi, baby,” he whispers softly. My eyes burn instantly.
I see Fen come over, tilting her head, breakfast spilled down the front of her pyjama top. “Why Daddy kissing your tummy?”
Liam copies her head movements before giggling loudly, moving his head from side to side.
Xaden glances up at me, still kneeling in front of me. “Should we tell them?” he mouths to me.
I laugh softly, wiping quickly beneath my eyes. “Do you think they’ll even understand?”
“She’s older now,” he says quietly, glancing toward Fen. “At least enough to get excited about it.”
Fen is still watching us like we’ve both lost our minds.
“Mummy has a baby inside her tummy,” Xaden tells them gently, turning to them while still on his knees in front of me.
There’s a beat of silence, then Fen gasps loud enough to shake the house. “THERE’S A BABY STUCK IN MUMMY?” She looks horrified.
Liam immediately looks alarmed too. “Bubba stuh?”
Xaden starts laughing against my stomach while I bury my face in my hands.
“A real baby?” Fen asks.
“Yes,” I affirm in between my own laughs.
She launches herself across the couch. “I WANNA NAME IT!”
“Absolutely not,” Xaden says immediately.
“I pick dragon too!”
Liam climbs into my lap looking deeply concerned.
“Bubba kay?”
“The baby’s okay, sweetheart,” I assure him.
Fen narrows her eyes suspiciously at my stomach. “Can it hear me?”
Xaden gives her a gentle smile. “Yeah, I think the baby can probably hear you.”
Fen immediately presses both hands against my stomach. “Hi baby!” she shouts.
Xaden winces. “Maybe not quite that loud.”
Liam abandons all concern instantly and copies her, squishing one tiny hand beside hers.
“Bubba,” he says proudly.
I want to freeze this moment and live inside it forever.
Fen gasps suddenly. “Can we teach her dragon stuff?”
“Very important life skills,” Xaden agrees seriously.
“Boo-ey,” Liam adds.
“Yes, and Bluey,” Xaden confirms.
"We can call her Bluey!" Fen proclaims. “Or Bingo ‘coz she’ll be littlest.”
Xaden laughs. “We'll see. But the baby might be a boy too, remember?”
Fen immediately shakes her head hard enough that her curls bounce everywhere. “No. We already got Liam.” She points decisively at her brother. “Need sister now.”
Liam beams proudly at being included in the conversation despite clearly not understanding any of it.
Xaden bites back a laugh. “Oh, that’s how it works?”
“Yes,” Fen says firmly, like she’s explaining something painfully obvious to him. “One girl," she says pointing at herself. "One boy," she points at Liam "Then another girl," she points to my stomach.
“Well, the baby might not have gotten that that memo,” he tells her.
Fen presses her hands back against my stomach. “Baby sister,” she informs it seriously.
I look around at all three of them crowded against me – Fen practically vibrating with excitement, Liam distracted by the toy he found on the couch next to him, and Xaden looking at us all with so much love it steals the air from my lungs.
For a long time, I thought happy families were something other people got. But sitting here with them, wrapped up in cuddles and chaos and far too much noise for 7am, I’ve never felt luckier in my life.
