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The day had finally arrived. Tyler's mother came to pick him up, she was the only one in the family that still cared to see him. Everyone else had slowly just stopped writing him. Everyone in the prison always spoke about how they longed to get out, how they couldn't wait to get back, but Tyler dreaded it. Getting out meant facing everyone he had let down. Prison had been the consequence for his crime, but the real punishment came now. How was Josh doing? Josh hadn't written him at all, not once in the two years he had been incarcerated, guess his parents wouldn't let him. Tyler felt the guilt low in his stomach, spreading to his chest. He wanted to throw up. Would Josh even talk to him? Tyler and his mother got into her car. The silence on the way home made him anxious.
He could feel all of it now. All of the mental pain, the guilt, the embarrassment. But also the physical pain. He could feel the bruises on his knees and elbows, feel the pain from that broken ankle that never healed right, feel the ache in his ribs from that night... He should've never gotten Josh into that part of his life. He and Josh were friends since middle school, they knew everything about one another. Josh was a church boy. Always so soft and gentle in everything he did, he was a good kid.
Tyler never liked following rules, never liked fitting in with those god-fearing, law-abiding idiots. It was not enough for him. He needed the thrill, to feel his heart pump faster and faster and faster, needed the excitement. He'd shrivel up and die without it, he thought. Josh was never supposed to get tangled up in the mess Tyler was making.
It started out small, stealing from convenience stores, lying to his parents, sneaking out. Slowly but surely he got involved with the wrong people. Josh knew. Tyler could see it in his face when their eyes met, Josh was worried about him. He never wanted Josh to worry about him. Somehow, without him ever really noticing, the crowd Tyler hung around and the emptiness Tyler felt in his chest late at night all collided into something very dangerous.
Tyler remembered the fear in Josh's eyes, the way his voice shook with the words. "Tyler, are you high?" Josh didn't know how bad it was getting. Tyler just shook his head no, but Josh knew him, knew exactly what he looked like when he was lying. "W-what have you taken Tyler?" Josh looked like he was afraid to ask. "Uhm uh... Just some amphetamine... Not a lot just a little bit like don't worry Joshie..." Tyler spoke like it was nothing. Josh had never looked so shocked.
They were almost home now. Tyler remembered it all like the back of his hand. His mom parked the car in their garage and walked in with Tyler. How was Josh doing now? Was he okay? Tyler thought to himself as he lied down on his bed. His room was exactly how he remembered it. Josh hadn't talked to him since the accident. What if he wasn't okay? Tyler's heart pounded faster in his chest, his breathing turned fast and irregular. The walls felt like they were closing in on him. It was all his fault. It was all his fault. Why couldn't he do anything right?
He stared at the ceiling for what seemed like ages, until he decided to text Josh.
Tyler: hey, what's up? I really wanna talk to you...
Tyler sent the text, half expecting Josh to not reply at all. Moments later, he heard the familiar buzz of his phone.
Josh: wanna talk to you too, how about tonight at my place?
Tyler smiled.
Tyler: sounds good, I'll be over at around 7.
Tyler was exited to see Josh, but he dreaded the conversation that he knew they needed to have.
It was Tyler's idea after all, the running off in the middle of the night, the stolen car... The doctors said they couldn't have been luckier, none of them had sustained any major injuries. It was no surprise when Tyler had to serve time in prison though. He had been in trouble with the law before, and besides that people don't take too kindly to a drunk kid crashing a stolen car. He meandered around the house for a while, ate dinner, and before he knew it it was time to leave for Josh's house.
The walk over there was torturous and absolutely nerve wrecking. Tyler was shaking as he knocked on the door to Josh's apartment.
The boy opened the door with a smile and immediately pulled Tyler in for a hug. Tyler stood still for a moment before wrapping his arms around Josh as well. "I'm so happy to see you again!" Josh said. Tyler's eyes welled us, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
"I'm so so sorry Josh" Tyler whimpered into Josh's shoulder. Josh pulled back and looked at him with compassion. "Why don't you come inside, and I'll make us some tea, okay?" Josh smiled, pulling Tyler inside and closing the door behind them.
Tyler sat down on the sofa as Josh made tea for them, before bringing the tea over to the couch. Josh sat down right next to Tyler, their upper arms rubbing against each other.
Josh spoke first " Please don't beat yourself up over what happened, Tyler. I'm okay, you didn't want to hurt me, I know that. The thing that hurt me was that you were hurting yourself. All the drugs and reckless things you did, I was worried about you." Josh put his arm around Tyler as he spoke, softly rubbing it up and down Tyler's back. Tyler leaned into Josh's touch, wrapping his own arms around Josh's waist. They stayed like that for a while.
Josh wrapped one of his hands around Tyler's waist, and brought the other one up to rest on Tyler's cheek. Josh pulled Tyler closer, until they were inches away from each other. He then leaned in slowly, pressing his lips against Tyler's.
Tyler stayed still for a moment, shocked by Josh action, but eventually he began to move with Josh, slotting their lips together perfectly. Tyler couldn't begin to fathom how much he had missed Josh, everything about him. His hair and eyes and the way he smells and his smile and just... everything. There was not a thing about him that Tyler hadn't missed like crazy. Josh pulled back shortly. "I missed you Ty" Josh said. Tyler's eyes filled with tears, he smiled and looked down. "I missed you too Joshua." Tyler smiled. Josh pulled him close again, feeling comfort in the simple sound of the other's heart beating. Finally, Tyler felt safe.