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Aloe
The storm wears on, undeterred, uninterrupted.
It's been raining ever since He left.
Jeongguk can't help the waves of sadness washing over him. Each and every day, there to haunt him, to make his life a living Hell.
He never signed up for this.
Grief.
Pink carnation
Maybe it's stupid that the pining never stopped from the day He appeared, maybe it's idiotic that all thoughts surrounded Him, and maybe it's finally time to stop. But Jeongguk has always been a fool, and he always fell for fool's gold.
It hurts. So much. Missing Him.
Longing.
Cyclamen
Jeongguk remembers.
Detached, that was the feeling. As if Jeongguk was the audience, gasping on cue. As if he wasn’t the star of the drama, as if he wasn't affected in any way at all.
It didn’t seem real. Everything passed in a rush, nothing made sense. Ludicrous, the last moments he had with Him spent in a blur.
Goodbye.
Petunia
The five stages of grief.
Jeongguk knew it isn't easy. What he didn't know is how hard it would be.
Why him?
The answer is obvious, a given.
Why not him?
Pent-up emotions makes Jeongguk someone he can't recognise anymore.
Anger.
Orange lily
Angst.
The bottle cracks, the tsunami rushes out, and destroys everything.
A war-torn path remains.
Jeongguk cries. Until he has no tears left.
Hatred.
Convolvulus
To give up or not, that is the question.
But in the end, it isn't really a choice. The fates decides it, just like how it does with everything else in one's life.
Jeongguk doesn't want to. Maybe a small part of him does, but that's inevitable.
Why push through?
Hopelessness.
Pink lilac
Maybe Jeongguk doesn't deserve happiness. Maybe his fate is written this way for a reason.
There is no point fighting destiny.
It doesn't ever get easier, no, never. It doesn't ever stop hurting.
But there is a certain relief. Jeongguk can't say he's happy, but he's not angry anymore.
Acceptance.
Primrose
Him.
How can Jeongguk ever live without him?
He was the Sun, the Moon, the entire universe and more.
Irrelevant, Jeongguk is.
How could he have ever forced himself into thinking that he mattered?
Jeongguk couldn't live without Him.
Tried and tested.
Black rose
The joy of release.
Maybe things would've been different if the circumstances were different. Maybe they would've lasted. Maybe they could have been happy.
But how is Jeongguk supposed to know? He's just a fool, a speck of dust, meaningless.
There has always been something attractive about the unknown. One could hardly blame Jeongguk for feeling excited as he stared down at the countless white pills.
It isn't unlike going to sleep after a long day.
Closing his eyes, finally smiling after months of torture. He deserves this rest.
Death.