Work Text:
I woke up & put my (h/c) hair in a messy bun & put on my (f/c) David Bowie shirt.
"(Y/N)!! Get down here right now!!" My mom yelled. I walked downstairs to make myself some grits for breakfast. But when I went downstairs, David Bowie himself was on my couch!?
"(Y/N), I sold you to David Bowie so I can buy drugs" OH. MY. GOD!!!! IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING!?
"Hi, I'm David Bowie. Your new owner." He said, looking at me with his two different colored orbs.
"You have one hour to pack up your belongings" My mom said. I ran upstairs & started taking down all my David Bowie posters & packing my David Bowie records. I grabbed my guitar & my iphone 4. I almost forgot my collage textbooks but I packed those too.
"(Y/N) Are you ready?" My mom said, "I'll be down in a second" I replied. I came downstairs once I had finished packing all my David Bowie T-shirts. I thought to myself “why do I need college textbooks if I'm owned by David fucking Bowie, Oh well!”. I could smell my mother's drugs in the living room, it smelled like.. Drugs”
I said goodbye to my bitch ass mom who was snorting meth on the coffee table. She didn't even say goodbye back. Anyways I got into the back of the limo with David Bowie. I look over, on the seat is a lizard. “why is there a lizard on the seat”? I looked into his glistening orbitals through the mini car window thing. “Thats Jasper, he's a lizard.” I stared at the lizard, an extremely small petite gasp came out when I heard… “sup motherfucker” from the lizard's mouth. Anyways, it turns out the car was blowing cocaine into both of us. Jasper looks at me, licking his eyeball before speaking. “The end is Nye, 5 days from now, you must watch out for your own good.” the drive was slow, I think because Mr Bowie was on too much coke he didn't want to crash, he cares about me! There’s a soft chirp sound from my phone, it's my friend group, wowie!
In
jhon gone: “wow (y/n)! it’s about to be your 19th birthday in 5 days from now on (d/m/y)”
Evangeline: “What get birthday (y/n)?”
David Bowie took my phone & started texting my friends
David Bowie: “Hi I'm David Bowie from David Bowie”
jhon gone: “very funny (y/n)”
David bowie: “who are you people?”
Evangeline: “pics or it didn't happen”
He took a selfie on my iphone 4 & sent it to my friends.
jhon gone: “OMG!!! NO WAY (Y/N)”
Evangeline: “😱”
I took my phone back & started texting my friends all about how my mom sold me to David Bowie for drug money.