Chapter Text
Darkness. Faint sobbing. Heavy breathing. And footsteps. Water droplets. Muttering. And silence.
All of the children were gathered, they all stood there for hours, just hoping and waiting for someone to come in and choose them. Ivan was a bit different, he didn’t know what was going on, he just stared at the cold, wet, dirty, floor. Light. A tall figure, came in, glanced at Ivan before turning to the caretakers, pointing at the small boy. Was he getting chosen? Maybe. He was dragged outside, it was far different than what he had been standing still in: a dark, shady, dirty room filled with other unfortunate children that were the same age as he was. But outside of that room, it was bright, lights were everywhere! Ivan squinted his eyes to see better, to navigate, even when Unsha had already been dragging him through it. Gently… there was other cages of. A sort, they were made out of glass, glass cages? Ivan scanned them, eyeing them up and down, oh how curious this child is. One had caught his eye, however. A small boy, maybe a year younger, or the same age, grey-ish blue hair, mmm… ‘50% OFF’, was he troublesome? It didn’t seem like it at all, he looked quiet(for now). Ivan was… complimented for how adorable he was back then, the aliens— I mean, adults, weren’t all that bad, some were chill, others were… as expected. Birthday’s, celebrations, funerals, were all plain canon events for someone like Ivan, a child acting so nonchalant about death, affection, and so on… is so messed up. Anyways, when Ivan had aged into an teen, and passed the entrance exam with his master who had told him to join the ANAKT GARDEN. Unsha had promised Ivan it would’ve been interesting for him. Ivan stood still again, on the garden’s fake grass, it felt weird, but it was better than what he had years ago, he was grateful. However, a bit disappointed by the fact nothing interesting had occurred to him yet, how impatient this beautiful child was. URGH.
Coincidentally, a red flower crown had brushed against his face by the wind, over to the broken wall, now is entitled as a guarded cave, ensuring nobody escaped the ANAKT GARDEN. A pink haired girl ran passed him, happily skipping into that cave, how oblivious to the danger she was. Another chased after her, grey-ish blue hair, determined look in his eyes, just planning on following such a girl. He looks familiar, no? Was he that child that watched him that day? Maybe he was. A spark on intrigue glimmered in his eyes, silently, he followed after them… curious to see how it would turn out. The guard dog, thing, was right above their flower crown, Ivan peeked in the corner of the room, controlled breathing, clutching the walls. The girl was in fear, standing down like everyone should, Ivan wasn’t interested, but just as he was about to leave, a sparkle caught his eye. ‘TILL’ the words were written on the boy’s neck, so, that was his name, after all? Hm. It has seemed that Till is challenging that bitch, how stupid, how interesting, how… how is he so determined. For the first time in what seemed like forever, Ivan’s eyes widened, he leaned out even closer, intrigued for the outcome. No— at how Till is so full of life, so determined, so beautiful. Minutes later, Till was, as expected, defeated by that dog, coming out as victorious mentally however, winning the attention of the pink haired girl, Mizi. She was tending to his wounds, asking if he was alright, constantly. In silence, Ivan followed Till, stalked him, observed his every move, every emotion he made. Until, an tap on his shoulder, he turned back to see… Sua, hm, his younger sister, they were separated. Adopted by different masters, Nigeh, and Unsha. They visited occasionally, sometimes rarely, but they could not forget each other’s faces.
“Ivan… What are you even doing?”, the young girl asked, skeptical, and concerned at what he’s been doing for what had been hours now. Following Till, stalking him, watching everything he does in silence, and just subtly looking at him, Till sure is oblivious if he doesn’t notice a boy just following him around, unless he’s just alright with it. Highly unlikely, who would be alright with such a thing, such behaviour? Ivan didn’t answer at first, he glanced back at her, his ruby-looking eyes met with hers, he bent down a bit. Ivan smiled, his fang sticking out, “I’m interested in that boy, Sua, he seems nice,” Ivan admitted proudly. Sua paused, looking at Till, she internally cringed and tried not to in front of Ivan(Till is canonically ugly), but she didn’t say her opinion aloud. Ivan turned back to look at Till, he smiled, so obsessed with that boy, who was infatuated with someone else. Ivan didn’t know the concept of love, he never did, never will. He’ll just run around aimlessly, until someone shoots him down, that kind of game.
Ivan… just having to go without any guide, or any hints on what love was, romantic, platonic? What was he feeling right now? Interest? A different shade of hate? As for right now, he pushed those thoughts away, hopelessly romantic with someone that will never love him back, never will. But Ivan doesn’t know the harsh truth yet, does he? Just let the boy be happy as long as he wants, let him enjoy it while it lasts. The ‘night’ settled in, Mizi and Sua were near the river, lying on the grass, watching the ANAKT’s roof opened up to reveal the beautiful stars. Mizi stole a quick glance at Sua, Sua felt warm with Mizi, they held hands as they chatted. Gossipin’ about what had happened to them today. These two are useless lesbians.
“I met my brother today, he’s been stalking that annoying boy you’ve been talking to,” Sua added with an annoyed tone, she knew Till had an enormous crush on Mizi, but Sua didn’t like it one bit. Hearing that information, Mizi brightened up, she snickered, “Really? Ivan, was it? I saw him, he seems like a nice guy, Sua!”, Mizi continued, “Let’s try making them friends, it could be—” Mizi’s words faded into the void of Sua’s unconsciousness, Sua shivered at that thought, she didn’t like Ivan one bit, just saw him as someone who drifts from time to time, and now had turned into someone who stalks an ugly boy. The thought of them being friends just freaks her out even more. But if Ivan’s time would be occupied, he wouldn’t bother her anymore, so agree to forced agree, I guess. Sua smiled softly at Mizi’s suggestion, even when she hadn’t heard it fully, she nodded, agreeing with whatever she had said. The next morning, it was especially hot, Till was on the ground, in the shade, under a tree, thinking about Mizi like the down-bad freak he is. Mizi dragged Ivan towards Till, they were both confused at the scene of Till kicking his feet in the air in excitement for no reason(thinking of Mizi AGAIN). Mizi dropped an red flower crown on Till’s face, leaving him in surprise, “A-AH, MIZI!! Where have you— uhhh, HI!”, Till sputtered out awkwardly, his attention was then slowly shifting to Ivan who was staring at him with Mizi’s hand holding his?! HAH?! Oh hell nah, Till didn’t like him one bit, and let’s say, first impressions were quite something Till would keep, Ivan was chill tbh, Mizi pointed towards Ivan with a smile, she looked like she had found the jackpot(she did), “Till!! LOOK! You two could be friends, this is Sua’s brother, Ivan! Say hi, Ivan!”, Mizi smiled. Ivan didn’t quite hear Mizi’s suggestion to introduce himself to Till, so, he just continues to stare down Till like the creep he was, before muttering aloud, as if it was intentional, “You’re pretty, Till,” Ivan was strangely straightforward, he didn’t care what Till’s reaction was, he just wanted it to… what was that saying again? Get it off his chest. Mizi and Till paused, he took in the information, she was ready to see his reaction.
“HUHHH?! Are you trying to get under my skin and then betray me?! That won’t happen, just because of your.. good looks and weird ass smile, you can never get away with itttt!!!”, Till said defensively, flustered at what Ivan had said. He was canonically ugly after all, he didn’t quite hear a lot of… compliments. Unlike what Ivan hears everyday, Till lived, quite an delusional and harsh life. Till was mostly delusional, sooo, err… yeah. Ivan didn’t react to Till’s outburst, his ears were covered by Mizi’s hands, he heard muffled noises, like, “Till!! That’s not niceee, he just wanna be friends with youuu :C”, he could tell that was Mizi without even looking at her, she was very obvious, honestly. Ivan was confused at Till’s words, ‘getting under my skin’, the only thing he knows that does that are parasites. Perfectly fits what Till was trying to connect Ivan to, maybe love is when you get under their skin, and have the biggest spot in their mind. Ivan smiled as Mizi dragged him away from Till, she rambled on and on about how Till doesn’t get along well with new people, but saying he had a chance on— getting under his skin like the parasite he is. Ah, that was Ivan’s dream all along, to find something interesting one day, and then suck the life out of the poor being, just like the parasite always does, he looks nice at first, having benefits even if you become his friend, but slowly he’ll ruin you inside. Physically, mentally, emotionally… sometimes if you’re lucky, you’d see it and just leave him alone for your own good. Warmth. Ivan felt that spark when Till actually talked to him, it made him feel so warm inside, he just wanted to latch onto Till and crush him inside-out(affectionately). Thanks to the pink haired girl, I guess you could say they grew closer, just that… every single meetup has to end up with violence, Till hitting Ivan to the ground, making him bleed, Ivan choking Till, causing him to go unconscious, Ivan thinks that’s how Till shows his affection towards him, and as oblivious as he can be, he would always encourage Till to hit him, just being an open, free target. Acorn and the other ncps just all had the thought that Ivan and Till were officially like an old divorced couple, but they love each other. Mmm… Everyone saw that Ivan loved Till, but like the little shit Till is, he was absent oblivious to Ivan’s feelings, just… thinking that Ivan only wanted to tease him for fun, he hated that so much, he envied the fact Mizi hung out with Ivan more. He envied Ivan so much. His vocals, his good looks, his weird personality that somehow catches ladies, damn it! Why is he thinking about Ivan so much? His pencil scratched against the paper. An mistake on Mizi’s portrait! Immediately, Till grabbed his eraser and rubbed it against the paper, his strokes getting harder and harder, until he had ripped it, creating an unwanted hole in the middle of Mizi’s chest, it looked like he was symbolising she was heartless?! Hell nah, Mizi isn’t like that at all. Till groaned, he crumbled the paper and threw in into the river, he was NOT environmental friendly.. Till sat down, near the river, watching it drift away, he pouted angrily at the fact he actually had artblock of drawing his one and only, his desired crush… PLOP! An red flower crown landed on Till’s head, he glanced up to see Ivan, who was smiling with that stupid smile of his, his smile that is just… always so beautiful… oh no. Till looked back down, trying and failing to force an angry expression, there’s no way he’s thinking of that bitch! Heck no! Right..? Ahah… there’s no way, no possible way he likes an BOY that always gets into fights with him!
Maybe he really did. Maybe… eh, maybe he just thought Ivan was Mizi for a second there, at least that’s what he thinks. At that very moment when Till looked down after staring at Ivan’s face… made Ivan even happier inside, oh, he loved that feeling. Butterflies in his stomach fluttering everywhere. That feeling was so sorrowful, so calming, so sweet. Romance that’s so fragile, yet so sweet. A love triangle where it happened between 4 people. And spoiler alert, Till will never love Ivan until he’s gone, that’s how a saying relevant to that goes, right? Cherish your loved ones, you never know when they’re gonna leave, well, that’s so sad for an oblivious grey-ish blue haired boy with anger management issues.
That very night, Till was locked up by the caretakers as he had gotten into a fight with, surprisingly, not Ivan, but with someone else. Surprisingly, he fought Acorn as he tried peeking at his lyrics and his sketch books full of Mizi drawings, photos, and every single detail of hers. ‘It was a valid reason!’ Till protested, but he knew damn well that the caretakers and the adults did not understand human language, they assumed he confessed his mistake, so they just put him in time out. Lockin’ him up in a dark, cold, room that nearly froze him to death… until, there was light, a shadow bent down, Till couldn’t make out who it was at first since his eyes were adjusting to the brightness. The mysterious person turned out to be.. Ivan. He opened Till’s cuffs, and then the collar on his mouth, which he then grabbed Till’s wrist immediately before he could even say thank you. As silent as they can be, Ivan dragged Till to cracks, hidden areas, and secret passageways throughout the entire ANAKT GARDEN, there laid… the outside. Ivan ran with Till as fast as he could, meteors fell, passing the planet peacefully, the red starry sky… just looked exactly like Ivan’s ruby-like eyes! Till’s face lit up in excitement, following him willingly, the two were so happy together for once. Alone. Until it hit him. Till suddenly realised that if he was leaving with Ivan, he would’ve left Mizi, he would’ve left things he wouldn’t like but he would most certainly miss. That was it, he let go of Ivan’s hand, silently regretting his decision, they paused, and before Ivan could even turn back to ask.. Till sprinted the opposite direction back to the ANAKT GARDEN, leaving Ivan standing still, alone, dumbfounded. He wondered why Till ran back and didn’t follow him, oh, he was shocked by the fact, that someone didn’t willingly follow him now. Ivan’s smile wasn’t for joy, but rather pity. Not for anyone, just that he hated how Till made him feel that way. Made him feel so… happy, so joyful, so excited. So interested in him.
They didn’t interact as much ever since that day, they just exchanged glances, but they never really asked each other, “Hi, how are you?”, or something like, “Hello!”, because if they had been talking after that too, it would’ve been different. Maybe they would’ve loved each other more, or maybe Till would’ve dropped his infatuation with Mizi and chase after Ivan next, and not just run after something he would not be able to catch. Never. Mizi would never like him back romantically, only platonically, but Till is delusional as fuck, so what do you think he did? Chase after her heart that’s already been taken and claimed by Sua. Oh, just how obsessed is he with Mizi?! Oh he’s just an oblivious bisexual in denial, just running after the women when there’s a man following him in the shadows, well, kind of creepy if you’d ask me.. but… yeah, never mind that, it’s weird.
Sua and Mizi were both very concerned about what had happened to their growing, healthy relationship. It had turned silent, dreadful, and.. filled with yearning and love, even if Till didn’t know it himself, he had already developed feelings for Ivan. Mizi questioned Ivan everyday, wanting to know what happened that night, and why their relationship had turned upside down. Ivan didn’t answer, he practiced his smile every morning with a pencil. Whenever the smile was disgustingly horrifying for him to look at, he would try making it better with the pencil, stretching his lips to the limits, the charcoal marks created by the pencil would be faintly visible on his skin. And yet, you wouldn’t have to squint to see it, just from afar he just smiles to make sure that it is absolutely okay. Sua and Mizi held hands many times, teased, laughed, talk to one another about stuff they liked, things they didn’t like one bit… and Ivan would stand behind a tree, staring at them in envy, filled with emptiness and is just someone that yearns for love but doesn’t know it himself yet. And for hours, Ivan would subtly smile whenever Till ever exchanged an small glance at him, sometimes still doing the same daily routine: stalking him. Even when Till had hurt him deep down, Ivan was obsessed with him, so interested, just so locked in on him. Like an hungry wolf stalking an pure, innocent, white rabbit. Of course, Till wasn’t pure at all, sometimes he would resort to violence, but he was just an confused boy that got taken away from his mother, someone as lonely as Ivan, but just doesn’t see how much they have in common.
“Cheer up, cheer up.. cheer up,” Till repeated to his little, poor, flower crown that had been slowly dying due to the fact that it didn’t have any water. Till pouted, angry at the fact that the one thing Mizi gave him, was dying in the ‘stupidest’ way possible, at least he assumes it was. He scoffed, turning away from the flower crown, already had given up on it, and there he saw it… Mizi resting her head on Ivan while he was.. practicing Till’s guitar gestures in the air? For once, Mizi didn’t get his attention, he was curious at why Ivan was doing that, was Ivan mocking him? No… as much as he hated Ivan, Ivan wouldn’t be one to mock people, just silently judge them, he knew one thing about that emotionless robot: he hated arrogance. Till paused, thinking if had ever been arrogant towards anyone one bit! And no, not once. Maybe? Maybe he was a bit uptight and rude, but.. wait.
WHY THE FUCK IS HE THINKING SO HARD ABOUT IVAN RIGHT NOW?!