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The ache in Grass's chest would not go away.
Mixed into the rushing sound of the rain was the voice of the girl she loved.
But those words were not meant for her.
She breathed out, wishing it would all turn out to be a dream.
The body heat stolen by the autumn rain rose as white breath into the air.
Her senses were going numb. She blew warm air onto her fingertips, faintly reddened by the cold. It was warm, but only for an instant.
"Suzuka-san!"
And then it would be cold again.
So she did it over and over, praying pointlessly in her heart that all of this would somehow be a dream.
"I... Suzuka-san, I—"
Please.
Don't say any more, Spe-chan.
If you do, I'll have to give up.
And I absolutely do not want that. I love you this much. Why should I have to give up?
She should be wishing for the happiness of the girl she loved.
And yet she could not do that.
If Spe-chan wasn't hers...
She'd go mad.
Before Spe-chan could finish, Grass ran.
Even though she knew it was pointless, she kept running through the pouring rain, stumbling in the mud, trying to flee reality itself.
Her body was heavy.
Her throat felt strangely dry.
The warmth of the bed was hard to abandon.
The morning sun slipping through the curtain gap felt absurdly bright.
And even the alarm that was supposed to go off in one minute filled her with dread.
This was as far from a good morning as it was possible to get— the worst morning of her life.
No matter how many times she had begged for it not to come, the world had gone on without mercy, measuring time as always.
So she had to get up.
No matter how miserable, no matter how painful.
She had to face the girl sleeping in the next bed and greet her as though nothing had changed.
Grass turned off the alarm just before it went off and sat up.
She was later than usual, but not so late that she'd be tardy. Surely today of all days could be forgiven.
Making excuses to no one, she pulled on her uniform and then glanced at the bed beside hers.
"...El, are you still asleep?"
No answer came.
Instead, as if in response to her voice, the room door opened with a rattle.
"Ah, Grass, you're up! Good morniiing!"
"...Good morning, El."
Her roommate El Condor Pasa's bright cheer hit Grass so hard she nearly swayed with dizziness, though it vanished quickly.
Even so, that brief moment was enough for El to realize Grass was nowhere near normal. She guided her gently down onto the bed.
"...Grass, if you're not feeling well, shouldn't you take the day off?"
"N-no, I'm sorry. I just couldn't sleep much last night. But I'll be fine. At least enough for school..."
"—What are you talking about with a face like that?"
"...What?"
Grass had only just gotten up and thrown her uniform on.
She hadn't washed her face, brushed her teeth, or done her hair yet.
So she hadn't seen her reflection.
"Do you want me to show you?"
Apparently El had finished all her own preparations already. She pulled a hand mirror from her pouch.
But Grass raised a hand to stop her.
"No. It's fine."
She didn't need to look to know.
If she had cried all night, then of course her eyes would be swollen beyond saving. Of course they'd be bloodshot too.
"Did something happen yesterday?"
It was impossible to keep secrets from your roommate.
When Grass came back drenched in rain and mud, it must have taken El less than a second to realize something had happened.
And someone as perceptive as El would know even faster than most.
Still, the first thing El had said last night was only, "Wow, what rain! Come on, let's shower together!"
Her way of being considerate, perhaps.
She must also have heard the sound of Grass crying late into the night.
At this point, there was no hiding it.
If Grass really wanted to, she could probably keep insisting it was nothing.
But that would have been trampling on all the trust she and El had built between them.
So she resolved to tell her.
And yet the words wouldn't come.
More precisely, the moment she turned them into words, it felt like everything she had barely been holding back would burst all over again.
So she couldn't say them.
"...Does it have something to do with Spe-chan?"
"...!"
Grass nodded.
"I thought so," El said, letting out a heavy sigh. Then she encouraged Grass to lie back down.
"I'm sorry. I don't think there's much I can do. If this were just a fight, maybe I could help, but..."
El knew how Grass felt about Spe-chan.
They never had some direct sit-down conversation about it.
But according to El, "It was super obvious!"
"I know your feelings for Spe-chan are real, Grass. But whether those feelings reach her and whether they can come true... that depends completely on Spe-chan. There's... nothing El can do..."
Grass knew that.
That was why it hurt.
So much.
Tears kept spilling over.
"El... I'm sorry..."
She was troubling one of her dearest friends. The guilt piled onto everything else, and at that point there was no stopping the flood.
It was like the brakes had broken.
But at least she wasn't alone.
Her freezing-cold hands were wrapped between warm ones, warm as the sun.
"This is about all El can do. But Grass, you're not alone. Even if it hurts. Even if you can't get back up by yourself. El and everyone else are still here."
Warmth spread through her.
The heat Grass had lost after yesterday started moving through her whole body with her blood.
"I'm not saying you have to tell me everything. But some things won't be understood unless you put them into words. No matter how much you cry, El will take it all. So... will you tell me what happened?"
After that, Grass had no choice but to speak.
"Yesterday... I saw it. Outside school, on the running course. I saw Spe-chan confessing to Suzuka-san."
Bit by bit, the smell of wet concrete returned vividly, the scene rebuilding itself along with the words.
"I wonder if it's true that Spe-chan is dating upperclassman Silence Suzuka?"
"Oh, I've heard that too. There are a bunch of girls saying they've seen them out together."
"Kyaa! They really would look good together!"
Just one fragment of the kind of low gossip girls traded among themselves.
Normally Grass would have pretended not to hear it and walked past.
But today was different.
The moment she heard Spe-chan's name, her feet stopped on their own.
And that was her misfortune.
Even if she wished afterward that she had never heard it, the gossip did not stop.
"Apparently someone saw them out on a date..."
A date?
Surely they were just out together.
She clicked her tongue softly, but kept listening.
"—And they apparently saw them kiss~!"
A shrill chorus of excitement rang out.
It echoed all the way down the corridor where Grass stood, stirring her whole brain into chaos.
Her memories with Spe-chan began to crack, as though her longing itself were splintering apart.
"...No way."
Surely it was just rumor.
And yet it was more than enough to make her heart shake. Grass stumbled away from the scene.
Impossible, she told herself again and again.
Even after training ended, that doubt kept gnawing at her.
She couldn't focus.
Her trainer noticed too, it seemed, but let today's session end early without asking why.
"It's okay. Everyone has days like that."
She'd said it so gently, and all it did was fill Grass with guilt.
Her body still burned hot despite how awful her heart felt, and so of course she ended up going outside campus for extra training.
She ran her usual outer loop in a daze.
Not thinking of anything. Just running.
Maybe that was why she noticed the smell of rain too late.
That smell of wet concrete. By the time she realized it, raindrops were already striking her skin and the ground.
She was right at the turnaround point, so she took shelter in the covered rest area of a nearby park.
Grass didn't know how long the rain would last, but perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to wait alone for once.
Except she wasn't alone.
"It came down all of a sudden, didn't it~"
"!?"
It was Spe-chan.
Grass almost smiled from the shock of seeing her there— and then instantly hid behind the bench instead.
The softness that had come to her expression vanished. She held her breath.
"Yes, it did. Though they did say it might start drizzling in the evening, didn't they?"
Silence Suzuka.
A horse girl who ran in a dimension no one else could reach. And if the rumors were true, Spe-chan's lover.
Grass's rival.
Hiding on instinct was the only thing she could have done.
Neither of them noticed her.
So they chatted as they always did.
Brightly. Happily.
The rain itself could hardly drown them out.
"And then—"
"Hehe."
Ah.
She couldn't beat Suzuka.
Just from that much, Grass knew.
She didn't want to accept it. She didn't want to give up. But the one suited for Spe-chan was surely not her.
The gossiping girls had been right.
They really did look perfect together.
Once she felt that, Grass could not recover.
The sound of her choking back tears was swallowed by the rain, but the creaking pain in her chest did not stop.
It hurt enough that a groan almost escaped her.
"...ngh... ah..."
She clamped a freezing hand over her mouth.
Dream. Dream. Dream.
This was all just— reality.
"I... Suzuka-san, I—"
"Ugh...!"
Grass jerked awake with the feeling of something rising up her throat.
"Hah...! Hah..."
Soaked in sweat, she barely managed not to throw up.
She covered her mouth and nose with her hands, trying to steady her ragged breathing.
How dramatic, she thought bitterly, suddenly able to look down on herself from above.
It was only heartbreak.
And not even that— she had fallen for Spe-chan all on her own and self-destructed all on her own.
How pathetic.
How stupid.
The tears had finally run dry.
There was no reason to stop moving anymore.
No matter how badly her chest still hurt, Grass had no choice but to go on acting like the same Grass Wonder as always.
Her phone lit up at the edge of her vision.
It was already past noon. She had no idea how long she had slept.
I heard from El-chan. Are you okay?
Out of all the messages from concerned friends, that was the one that caught her eye.
What on earth had El told people? It was almost funny at that point.
"I'm fine. Sorry for worrying you."
Grass pasted the same reply to every friend who had messaged her.
To Spe-chan too.
When she was done, she stood up and stretched, working life back into a body stiff with too much sleeping.
Since time immemorial, people have healed their bodies by sleeping. Perhaps there really is no medicine more effective.
And she had to admit it had helped.
"...It's time to get up."
She muttered it aloud to herself and reached for the doorknob to go wash her face.
Just before she turned it, she heard a small knock from the other side.
"...Grass-chan, can I come in?"
"...!"
No.
Grass wanted to say it at once.
But something inside her that she had supposedly already abandoned stopped her.
If some part of her still thought she had a chance, then it truly was beyond saving.
Her nails bit into her palms. Her body wouldn't obey her better judgment.
"I'm coming in, okay?"
"...W-wait!"
Grass slammed the door shut against the crack opening.
At that point she no longer understood what she herself was doing.
What was she supposed to say? What should she do?
She knew nothing.
"Ah... Grass-chan, um..."
"I don't want to hear it!"
This isn't me.
I'm not like this.
I'm not this foolish.
"...Please, Grass-chan. Just listen, okay?"
"No. Stop. Please stop! Don't make me any more pathetic than I already am..."
The tears she had thought dried up welled all over again.
Again.
She was going to cry again.
She had already cried more than enough. Seen reality more than enough.
So don't wave dreams in front of her now.
If Spe-chan loved Suzuka-san, then she shouldn't be kind to Grass.
She shouldn't try to comfort her.
It only made it more humiliating.
"...Sorry. I'm coming in."
The door Grass had been holding closed was forced open.
"Kyah!"
Still half-drained from sleep, she couldn't put up a proper resistance. She lost her footing and dropped down awkwardly.
Spe-chan did not miss that moment. She grabbed Grass's wrist and shoved her back onto the floor.
"Ow... eh?"
Rain began falling in little drops.
"Why... are you crying, Spe-chan?"
But the emotion in those tears was different from Grass's own.
If hers were sadness, then Spe-chan's were—
"I'm... pretty angry right now. This might be the angriest I've ever been."
Nothing remained of the gentle warmth Spe-chan had shown Suzuka earlier.
Tears still fell from her face, but her voice was full of fury.
"Stop trampling on my feelings all by yourself."
It was frightening.
Spe-chan's usually sunny atmosphere was nowhere to be seen. The hand wrapped around Grass's wrist tightened.
Her words were rough. Her gaze was sharp enough to pin Grass down.
"Trampling... on them?"
When? Who?
If anyone had the right to say their feelings had been crushed, then surely it was Grass.
But Spe-chan did not stop.
"You believed that rumor that I'm dating Suzuka-san?"
"...I was wrong?"
"Yes, you were!!"
The force of it hit like a slap.
"The one I love is—"
The pain in Grass's chest eased.
Even with her wrist still gripped hard enough to leave marks, the pain that sleep couldn't heal softened, slowly, warmly.
"—You, Grass-chan!"
At those words, the balloon stretched to bursting finally began to deflate.
Grass's wrist was released.
Instead, Spe-chan threw herself against her chest.
Grass didn't understand anything.
Not what was happening, not what Spe-chan meant, not what she was feeling.
"...That's a lie."
"It isn't. I've loved you for a long time.
I was so happy when our seats got moved next to each other. I was happy every time we ate lunch together. I only joined that committee because you volunteered for it. Every time we ran in the same race my heart pounded so hard I thought it would burst, and even after the race my body stayed hot no matter what the result was..."
It went on and on.
A confession so hot it felt like it might burn Grass's ears.
Because Spe-chan whispered it all right beside her, Grass's body would not stop trembling.
As tightly as Spe-chan held her, Grass found herself clutching her back.
Was this a dream...
No.
It wasn't a dream.
The sheer happiness of it made her vision blur.
Spe-chan's scent filled her nose and fogged her brain.
Her heartbeat pounded like a war drum.
The rhythm only grew faster.
Her breathing slipped out of control. She gasped desperately for air.
Too happy.
She was going to die.
"S-Spe-chan... wait... no..."
"No. I'm not done saying it yet. It's true, I know I'm partly at fault. I spent all this time agonizing without saying anything. But still— still! You went and decided all on your own that Suzuka-san and I were dating, then went and despaired all on your own, and I..."
"I... love you too... so please wait... I'm really... going to die..."
"Eh?"
At last Spe-chan noticed something was wrong. She propped up Grass's upper body and began patting her back gently.
With her airway open, Grass could breathe a little better, but the excitement wouldn't settle.
"...Sorry! Grass-chan, are you okay!?"
"Hah... haa... ngh..."
Grass tried to force her breathing into a rhythm, but it wouldn't work.
She had plenty of oxygen now, but at this rate she wouldn't be able to talk properly.
Calm down.
Please calm down.
She thumped her chest as though she could force it, only for Spe-chan to catch her hand.
Then—
"Mm!?"
Something happened Grass could never have imagined.
Until yesterday, she had been convinced her love would never be returned.
"Chu."
A tiny kiss-sound, a soft warmth, and her lips were sealed.
With her mouth occupied, all Grass could do was breathe through her nose.
But from this close, if she did that too hard, her breath would brush against Spe-chan's face. The thought was mortifying.
As though to say don't worry about that, Spe-chan did not pull away.
Grass did her best to keep her breaths small. Very small.
"Mmh... nnh..."
Gradually the terrible sensation of overbreathing eased, and in the end only the heat of Spe-chan's lips remained.
Even after Grass's breathing calmed, Spe-chan still didn't move away.
And with some room to breathe, Grass found herself leaning in just a little too.
Their lips bounced softly together.
"Mm."
Love came welling up again.
I love you felt far too flimsy a phrase for what she felt toward Special Week.
While the tiny sounds of kissing continued, Grass opened her eyes a sliver.
"..."
"...!"
Spe-chan was staring right at her.
Her eyes were overflowing with tenderness.
That made Grass self-conscious all over again, and she tried to draw back—
"Mm!?"
But she couldn't get away. Spe-chan had her firmly pinned in her arms.
Spe-chan kept pecking at her lips, looking straight into her eyes.
It felt almost like being prey caught in the jaws of a predator, and a shiver shot down Grass's spine.
Ah. I'm so happy.
How many minutes passed like that, she had no idea. Eventually Spe-chan was the one who pulled back, and they returned to a more ordinary distance.
It was a little sad, but Spe-chan had already given her more than enough to make Grass feel she might truly die of happiness.
"...Spe-chan... I still don't really understand..."
Things had lurched up and down so wildly that she couldn't sort them out. So Grass asked her again.
"...Ah, right. Of course. Sorry, I really did spring everything on you."
Spe-chan took Grass's hand in both of hers.
"Let me say it properly. I love you the most, Grass-chan. As a girl I'm in love with. So... will you go out with me?"
Grass couldn't believe it.
And yet this was reality. Pure, indisputable reality.
"Yes... Of course I love you too. Please— I'd be honored to go out with you."
But one question still remained.
"Then... what about..."
Suzuka-san? That confession in the rain—?
Spe-chan cut right into her confusion.
"You really were there in the park yesterday, weren't you?"
"...!"
So she knew?
"...So you heard that at the absolute worst possible moment and ran off..."
"That wasn't... a confession?"
"Of course not. I keep telling you, the one I love is you, Grass-chan. Of course I love Suzuka-san too, but that's admiration. So..."
For a moment, Grass still found herself irrationally sulking over the word love, which probably meant her possessiveness had gone a little too far.
"At the time, I was asking Suzuka-san for advice on how to confess to you. She already knew I was in love with you."
So after Grass ran—
Suzuka-san, I trust you more than anyone... so please. Please give me just a little courage. If you do, I think I can confess.
What an awful misunderstanding she had made.
Grass had swallowed rumors whole, let prejudice and suspicion write the worst possible script in her head, convinced herself in despair that it was all over...
She had been completely, utterly self-absorbed.
"...This is so embarrassing..."
She wanted the ground to swallow her whole.
"Fwehehe. Grass-chan is adorable."
Grass tried to put a little distance between them out of pure mortification, but Spe-chan closed it immediately.
"D-don't look at me. This is genuinely too embarrassing. And anyway— weren't you angry?"
"Hm? Well, sure. When El-chan told me you'd decided on your own that I was dating Suzuka-san and then decided on your own that you'd been heartbroken and were despairing over it, I was pretty..."
"...Why are you trailing off there!? I'm sorry, all right! I'll never do anything that stupid again!"
"Come on, I'm kidding~"
Grass sighed in relief— and then froze at something Spe-chan had said.
"...Wait. You just mentioned El. Did El know that you... um... l-liked me?"
"Huh? Yeah. El-chan was my romance consultant, after all— wait, Grass-chan!? Why are you grabbing something that dangerous and heading for the door!?"
The naginata fit into Grass's hands with unnerving familiarity after all this time.
"Where is El?"
After knowing all that, El had still gone and said those things to Grass. She had definitely been enjoying herself.
Grass wanted the gratitude she'd felt toward El earlier refunded immediately.
"Grass-chan, calm down! That is not okay!"
"Let me go, Spe-chan! I have to eliminate El!"
"Honestly... those two are impossible... ke?"
After rain, clear skies—
with the occasional naginata.