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The sound of the wind brushed over her.
Birdsong echoed and slipped into her ears.
When Grass Wonder looked down, she saw countless people crossing the streets below, each heading toward their own destination.
She remembered little things all the time.
For example, she loved pro wrestling, and she loved pulling pranks. No matter how many times Grass got angry, she would be smiling again the very next moment.
For example, she never knew when to give up. She always faced forward, building her throne atop the corpses of countless defeats.
For example, she was hard to pin down. One wrong move and suddenly she had you in check.
For example, that girl with the weak body was always full of energy. Even when she looked as though she were in pain, she never looked sad.
And for example—that girl.
Whether she was clumsy or simply airheaded, Grass still couldn't tell.
She gave her obvious signs over and over and over and over.
And every single time, Spe-chan missed them.
We always feel the same things and understand each other?
What a ridiculous misunderstanding.
Because no one could even notice Grass Wonder standing here, could they?
The crowd swelled and receded like waves.
It grew and thinned with the blinking traffic lights.
She looked up at the sky and held out her hand.
The cloudy sky hid her from the blinding sun.
She had stayed in this foreign land so long that now she might as well call it home.
She did the same thing at the intersection below.
As though she could escape this emptiness if she buried herself inside the crowd.
And yet.
Even then, there was no one to catch the ball of words she threw.
All that happened was that her loneliness kept growing.
"And then, right? Suzuka-san said—!"
Spe-chan, laughing so happily, was beautiful.
"Is that so~?"
Grass held back the urge to embrace her and merely sat there.
"Speaking of which, Suzuka-san said—!"
Again.
Again, it was about that person Spe-chan admired.
Even though they were alone in the room, even though Suzuka wasn't even there, all Spe-chan talked about was her.
It felt unfair.
Grass was jealous.
Suzuka was only a friend.
Just that.
Which meant Grass had no right to be jealous.
"…By the way, there's something I don't understand…"
She wanted to catch Spe-chan's interest.
So she asked for the answer to a question she already knew.
"Ah! This one! Suzuka-san taught me this the other day!"
Again.
Again, that name.
"…Spe-chan? You have to solve it yourself, you know~?"
Honestly, Grass didn't think it mattered who taught her the answer.
Even so, she could not bear that the only person reflected in Spe-chan's eyes was Suzuka.
"Because Suzuka-san is amazing! She's someone I admire!"
She didn't care.
She truly did not care who Spe-chan admired.
And yet—
not that name.
"…Grass-chan… that hurts…"
Before Grass knew it, Spe-chan's face had twisted in pain.
And wrapped around that slender wrist was the hand of a green-eyed monster.
"…Ah…"
Soundless regret took hold of her.
"W-What's wrong, Grass-chan…? Did I say something that upset you…?"
Grass threw an apology into the air and ran.
Spe-chan didn't chase after her.
They weren't even in the same dorm, so there was no reason she would have.
There was no reason.
And yet—
the fact that Spe-chan did not come after her
felt like a betrayal.
The wind brushed over her.
Birdsong echoed into her ears.
When Grass looked around, she saw countless people passing by, each headed somewhere.
Days with blank, featureless faces.
Even if she stood among the crowd, she never blended in. She only moved in the same direction for no reason.
Looking at the way the buildings rose here, so different from back home, she realized this still was not her homeland.
She walked for some time behind strangers.
Then, when the flow of people thinned, she glanced behind her.
She thought someone had called out to her.
But when she stopped and turned, all that happened was that the people walking toward her swerved around her with irritated looks.
The only thing she understood was that she had been walking for a very long time.
It felt a little like that day long ago, when she was injured and could no longer move forward.
If she looked at her footprints, it felt as though she had walked just a little farther than before.
Even something as foolish and insignificant as that was enough to make her happy.
Because it let her feel that she was alive.
Because it let her pretend she could face forward and walk again.
The Golden Generation.
When was it that people started calling them that?
They all ran together in the Twinkle Series, settling things over and over.
Those days felt nostalgic, distant, dazzling.
She knew she couldn't go back.
She knew she couldn't return.
And yet.
In the window of a shop she passed, there were five shining, nostalgic girls.
Old magazines, sun-faded, lined up on display.
For some reason, Grass couldn't look directly at them, so she lifted her eyes—
and saw herself reflected there, worn down and resembling one of those five girls.
The happiness from before vanished at once.
In its place rose simmering irritation.
At the self reflected there in loneliness.
At the indifferent world that had forgotten its old glory.
The six of them used to go running together a lot.
Well, more accurately, it was usually five of them, with one extra person joining from time to time.
That day, there were five.
Teasing. Provoking. Rising to the bait.
Laughing.
And Spe-chan, standing beside Grass as though what happened yesterday had never happened at all.
Even though Grass had gripped her wrist hard enough for Spe-chan to tell her it hurt, there wasn't a single mark left on that slender arm.
What a shame.
No, of course—
Grass didn't think that.
She didn't.
And yet, if she could overwrite the mark left on Spe-chan's heart,
then perhaps upon that white skin
she could leave her mark instead.
"Grass-chan?"
Hearing her name, she started.
Apparently she had been drowning in a waking dream.
"…What is it?"
Even Grass could tell how high and strange her voice sounded.
But Spe-chan was as she always was.
"Everyone already left, you know? Come on."
On that wide field, only the two of them remained.
Everyone was always in far too much of a hurry. They ought to move more slowly.
Spe-chan held out that pale, slender arm.
No marks. No trace at all. Such a beautiful, beautiful wrist.
"…Yes. You're right."
If she confessed these feelings now—
"Hey, Spe-chan."
would she be able to paint that white canvas red?
With her burning, burning color.
"Hm? What is it?"
"I…"
An untended field.
Apparently students used to come here to run often, but perhaps they had forgotten the place now.
The story of the two girls who were once here.
Grass no longer remembered how it ended.
Though perhaps it could never have ended happily.
Otherwise she would not want so badly to forget it.
Maybe their footprints were still here somewhere.
Thinking that, she started walking as though searching for them.
If she found them, she was sure she would be happy.
That was what she wanted to believe.
But the footprints she eventually found
belonged only to some stranger who had passed through a few hours ago.
Even though just moments ago, she thought even the smallest footprint would make her happy,
once again irritation rose in her.
Well—
those feelings did not matter anymore.
Because in the end
Grass never managed to forget how the story ended.
"……I'm sorry. It's nothing. Please go on ahead. I'd like to look at the scenery a little longer."
"Really? Then I'll tell everyone! Take your time and come when you're ready!"
If she had told Spe-chan then
about the burning feelings inside her,
would anything have changed?
That, too,
should not matter anymore.
It should not.
It shouldn't matter at all.
And yet—
of course it mattered.
If it was going to leave her this lonely,
then she should have told Spe-chan.
She should have said:
I love you.
Every time you say that person's name, it hurts me.
If she had said it—
her lonely reflection tossed the words into the sky.
Even if her loneliness only deepened.
Hey. Hey. Answer me. Is anyone there?
No matter how long she searched, she found no answer.
Hey. Hey. I can't live alone.
She didn't want to cast away her heart just to blend in.
Hey. Hey. Answer me.
But no matter how long she searched, there was no answer.
"Keh!? Don't grab my tail!!"
Even if she cried,
"Ooh, scary. Guess I'd better be careful not to make you mad?"
even if she laughed,
"For someone first-rate like me, something like this is easy!"
even if she hated,
"Grass-chan!"
even if she loved—
"I love you. Always. Always."
She would keep living.
"Geh—! Cough! I choked!!! Coming out for a run after so long and this is how it starts!? But maybe today… maybe something good will… happen…"
"…! Oh my… it's been a while."
"Y-you—!! Where have you been!? I was worried sick! At least say something!"
"Ah… um… sorry… I needed to be alone for a while…"
"Excuses later! I'm mad at you now! We're going to eat! Your treat, Grass-chan!"
"…Weren't you here to run?"
"Doesn't matter! You pick where! Where are we going!?"
"Eh? Ah… um… let's see… well…"
"Do you like your food served hot?"