Chapter Text
His knuckles are bloody and Jiyong's sick of washing the blood that's his as he stood over the sink of the bathroom. It's 2 AM and he just came back home. His cat, Ai, waited patiently by the doorway, his tail wrapped around his paws, yellow eyes watching as Jiyong stared at the mirror at himself in the reflection. His eyes are lined with black eyeliner and he opens the glass cupboard, pulling a makeup remover wet sheet from the dispenser and rubbed the makeup from his face. After he washed his face, Jiyong shut the panel closed and he took Ai into his arms, walking to his walk-in closet.
He let him down to change into shorts and a loose tank top. Pulling it down, Jiyong walked to the kitchen where he got a can of beer from the refrigerator, popping it open as Ai meowed by his legs. He walked back to the bed where he sat next to the large window. Ai next to his legs, laying his head on his knee as he purred. Outside, it was dark save for only the amber colored lights from the lamp posts. The streets were shadowed by every object; a perfect place to start a fight.
Ai's meow made Jiyong look at his leg where Ai looked up at him with warm eyes and Jiyong stroked his head, smiling. "I only have you, huh, Ai?"
Ai purred in response and Jiyong finished the can with three gulps, his head tipping back to finish as his Adam's apple bobbed with every swallow. He left the can on the windowsill and crawled under the covers, Ai making himself comfortable at his chest as Jiyong turned on his side. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.
When Jiyong wasn't out fighting people and being a mean delinquent (for a man in his mid-20s), Jiyong sent in fashion sketches or blueprints at the designer label he worked out. He was one of those exceptional people where they just draw and turn in sketches every end or beginning of the month. He had indirectly received high compliments from Karl Lagerfeld. Once.
"Good to see you, too," Larry Higgens, one of the fashion designers at the brand took the manilla files Jiyong handed out to him. He was tall and handsome with a sharp jawline and high cheekbones. He wore a black double-breasted jacket that showed his broad frame of his body. He stood outside of the doorway and he was peeking inside behind Jiyong's back.
"One of your earlier works is being made; the Team Head wants you to come out next Saturday for it," Larry said.
"Okay, I'll go in at 11," Jiyong said and was about to shut the door when Larry stopped it with his fine dress shoes from Dr.Martens. Jiyong looked at him and Larry was standing close to him.
"You ever thought about being gay?" Larry's sudden question made Jiyong blink back with a neutral expression.
"I already am," Jiyong said and just when Larry was about to say something when Jiyong almost glared at him. He shut his mouth then and Jiyong looked behind to see Ai meow for food. "You should go. Thanks for dropping by," Jiyong shut the door on his face, locked it, and turned to the kitchen. "Sorry, Ai," He set the filled cat bowl down and Ai hungrily began to eat.
Jiyong once again took his spot by the window, folding his knees to his chest as he bit on his fingernails, watching Larry get into his BMW and drive away. It was a cloudy day today and it made Jiyong feel somber. Somber about so many things. Breakups, being mobbed until he looked like he came back from the dead, and then wanting to burn everything down with his lighter. He had no one. No one to look for towards help except some few people.
One person turned Jiyong gay. He was the first person Jiyong had talked to when he moved here in New York. He was just a scrawny 22-year-old with a blonde faux hairstyle that everyone said that looked cute on him. He first took the job for the brand he currently worked at presently and met the man who was his Team Leader. Back then, Jiyong had come every day to the small workplace to sketch and present his ideas. The man's man was Soohyuk, a handsome man with a rich deep voice that had made Jiyong shiver with anticipation. Back then Jiyong didn't really know how to pick up guys, let alone date one, so he held his feelings until Soohyuk asked him out. It had been the best year of his life...until Soohyuk cheated on him and didn't even give an explanation.
That had become his turning point of becoming a delinquent. He would be the first man Jiyong dated and perhaps the last. It still hurt him and he still had his phone number in low hopes he would call and apologize. After that, he got mobbed on a rainy night and came out barely living. He felt like burning everything down. He probably still did.
Jiyong sighed through his lips and watched Ai wash himself with his tongue and Jiyong smiled. Only Ai waited for him at home. Poor cat was a kitten when Jiyong stopped his car to save him in the middle of the freeway. Jiyong was on the verge of crying too when the cat was mewling with fear and loneliness.
Then, Jiyong met Youngbae in a fist fight. Jiyong wasn't so bad considering he never took martial arts. Youngbae had saved his ass on that night. It was two against sixteen. After winning, Jiyong was about to leave when Youngbae offered him a cigarette. "You're not bad," He had said. "I'm Youngbae." From there, they were two different people but became the best friends of friends. They both enjoyed fashion so they often went to SoHo and went clubbing together. Youngbae was a dance instructor at Professional Performing Art School in Manhattan. He had gone to Parson to study fashion when he realized dancing was his forte. He often came over to Jiyong's for a good chat over wine or beer and sometimes slept over if it got too late. To Jiyong, Youngbae was a friend of ten years more than two years.
A phone ring mused Jiyong out his thoughts and he took a peek at the screen. Youngbae's name was on the caller ID and Jiyong took the call. "Hey, Youngbae," He said.
Short, ragged breaths greeted him back and Jiyong frowned, sitting up as he listened intently. "Youngbae?"
"They have Daesung. Your friend. The one with-" There's a grunt and voices in the background. "The one with small ass eyes! Jiyong, this is the street near Chelsea Market!"
Jiyong jumped out of the bed causing Ai to look up as he finished grooming. "I got it," Jiyong said, feeling his pulse race. "I'll be there, Youngbae. Just wait!" Jiyong yelled before hanging up and he quickly pulled on jeans and a leather jacket. "I have to go, Ai, I'll be back soon," He planted a quick kiss on the cat's head as he meowed and he left in a flash. He was jumping down the stairs with speed Jiyong didn't know he had. He burst out of the apartment, unlocking his car and jumping in. He was racing towards Chelsea Market, his teeth gnawing on his fingernails as he drove with one hand on the wheel.
Jiyong finally came to the street where the Market was and instantly saw figures between in the alleyway. Jiyong didn't bother to park as he jumped out. "Hey!" Jiyong roared and the standing figures turned. "Fuck off!" He punched one in the face, hard.
"Son of a bitch!" One roared and Jiyong shoved him, kicking at his balls and the man instantly fell, writhing as he clutched his crotch. There was more and Jiyong could see the shine of the knives in their hands as he saw Youngbae holding Daesung who was sobbing. Jiyong ducked as one hurled himself and Jiyong felt someone grab his wrist, spinning around and then suddenly, out of nowhere, Jiyong saw an image of Soohyuk grabbing his wrist to turn him around into his chest where arms held him into a hug. Jiyong gasped and a punch made him snap back into reality. Regaining his senses, Jiyong spat the blood from his mouth and fought back, feeling pain muddle his thoughts as he yelled and cursed.
"Fuck off!" Jiyong yelled.
As many of the group was hurt, they cursed and fled. Jiyong felt his legs crumple beneath him and he fell to the ground, knuckles stinging, head throbbing, blood in his mouth. He felt like crying. But there was someone else to care about that. Jiyong shook his head and crawled to Youngbae stood up, holding his side. There was a cut on his face and blood on his clothes. Daesung had bruises and Jiyong made him sit up so he could see his face. Tears and blood littered his face and he just kept crying. Jiyong held his head, holding him. "You're okay, Daesung. You're okay."
The male just kept crying and Jiyong could feel his arms around his shoulders. Jiyong just held him there in the alleyway, stroking his hair.
They came to Jiyong's apartment and Ai instantly greeted Daesung first. Daesung burst into tears again and Jiyong pulled him towards the bed. "Let me treat Daesung first," He said, handing Youngbae a roll of bandages.
Youngbae nodded and Jiyong took the rest of the kit to Daesung. The younger male was idly scratching at his bloody hands and Jiyong began to wash the blood off with alcohol. Daesung didn't even react to the stings as they silently worked. Daesung occasionally sniffed, but he had stopped crying. He had bloody scratches all over his arm, his face littered with bruises, knees and elbows scraped. "What happened?" Jiyong asked and Daesung only fumbled with his hands.
"I just...just got mobbed," Daesung quietly said, his husky voice broken. "They said that I shouldn't see Aeria anymore."
"Who were they? The one with dreadlocks and few other white guys?" Jiyong asked, practically slapping the bandaids and patches on Daesung.
Daesung shrugged. "I think so."
Jiyong studied him closely. He looked devasted, lost, broken, and hopeless. He was always the strong one, the one who had the positivity Jiyong never knew anyone had. But to see him like this made Jiyong's heart ache for him. Jiyong pulled Daesung into a hug, gently stroking his hair. "It's okay, Daesung," Jiyong said.
Daesung didn't respond until Jiyong could hear his soft whimpers. "I can't believe she let me go like that," Daesung sobbed. "I loved her so much," He hiccuped as he fought to say his next words. "I still remember her wrapping the handkerchief around my neck, Jiyongie-hyung."
Youngbae sat beside Daesung to pat his back as Jiyong stroked his hair. His hair was oily and unkempt and he smelled of the streets. It seemed Daesung was out for a long time. "Me too," Jiyong whispered. "I loved him too."
That night, Daesung appeared relatively better after taking a fresh shower. He had slept the entire day on Jiyong's bed, Ai acting as his support animal. It seemed the cat knew who to hearten. Youngbae had gone out to get groceries for a good dinner and Jiyong had stayed by the window, drowning by his own memories. He kept seeing Daesung as himself and Jiyong didn't want him to end up like him.
"What's this?" Daesung cheerfully said, sitting on the bar table.
Jiyong took out one his wine bottles, three glasses on his other hand. "We're going to eat dinner and then go clubbing," He said, proudly. Youngbae nodded as he set the plates.
"Clubbing?" Daesung looked confused about it and Jiyong rolled his eyes. "I really don't know how to club."
"It's okay," Jiyong said, giving him a fork. "All you need to do is drink all the shots I give you and then you'll be on the dance floor, drunk as a skunk, and ready to lose all your worries for today."
Daesung shrugged as he took a forkful of the Aglio Olio pasta. "Okay," He grinned. "Sure."
Jiyong poured him a glass. "Eat up, big boy."
The three idly chatted and ate, talking about the things they've been doing. They talked of their times when they first met. It was a pleasant talk since they haven't gathered around much to talk and knowing each other's well-being was important for all them as friends. After chatting for a long while, they got ready to go clubbing and Jiyong went into the bathroom to stand in front of the mirror to apply his makeup. He even applied eyeliner on Daesung's eyes. After his makeup was done, Jiyong changed into tight leather pants and a fishnet sweater with a black tank inside.
"Aren't you going to be cold?" Daesung asked as Jiyong locked the door.
"It's going to be hot in there," Jiyong said, making sure his rings were on his fingers. They began to walk as Jiyong adjusted his earrings. He was going to club and he had to look like the most desired one there or there was no point in going. Jiyong made sure his boots were tied tight around his ankles and he was just making sure as they went down the stairs. When they got outside, a gust of chilly wind made Jiyong shiver as he got out his car keys. "See?" Daesung said and Jiyong laughed.
"It's okay, Daesung, really," Jiyong said as he got into the driver's seat. Daesung sat in the back while Youngbae sat in the front. Jiyong began to drive towards the Meatpacking district. He saw the club stream in with people and he found a good parking space across the street. As soon as Jiyong got off the car, people were already staring and Jiyong sprayed some perfume on his wrists and neck. Daesung even sniffed. "That smells like my bed," He said making Youngbae burst into laughter.
Jiyong only smirked knowingly and he wrapped an arm around Daesung. "C'mon, Dae, let's go."
The three of them entered the club with Jiyong's membership and on the way, he hooked his finger on the man's dress shirt, unbuttoning one button while flashing him a smirk before they delved inside towards the EDM that shook the walls and floor. Jiyong felt a thrill of excitement and anticipation. There were people dancing on the dance floor with dark trance lights traveling the ceilings. There was even a second floor where people held their drinks and chatted idly against the railings.
"Okay, Daesung," Jiyong said, working their way towards any vacant high chair and table. They found one and Jiyong went to get the famous six shot plate from the bar. He set it on the table as Youngbae took a seat. Daesung only stared at it with a vexed look. "C'mon, Daesung," Youngbae said, nudging his arm with his own. "Just for tonight."
Daesung still looked hesitant before he took the shot. Jiyong and Youngbae watched as he took it one gulp, his face contorting into a sour-faced look. Jiyong burst into laughter, leaning onto him as he giggled loudly at his reaction. Youngbae was grinning as he took one of the shots to drink one himself.
"You okay? You don't have to drink of you don't want to," Jiyong said as Daesung looked taken aback.
"I already feel drunk," Daesung said and Youngbae laughed out loud.
After Jiyong took the three of the shots, Youngbae took the remaining. They were soon a little drunk and Jiyong was the first to step onto the dance floor. He wasn't a bad dancer and soon he was feeling a man up, his hand wrapping around his hip bone as Jiyong felt his mind spin. He pulse was racing from the euphoria and the haziness of the alcohol. His eyes were half-lidded and he felt lips against his neck. Jiyong breathed out, closing his eyes. Until, suddenly, a flashback sparked in his mind.
"Jiyong, come here," A deep rich voice said. Even if it was in his mind, Jiyong felt goosebumps along his skin.
"Why?"
With a gasp and a shove of his hands, Jiyong stepped away. He could finally think and the man looked taken aback. "I'm...I'm sorry," Jiyong stuttered. "I'm really sorry," And with the spin of his heels, he fled the dance floor. He found himself blindly running out into the chilly air of New York City. He took in a breath before his eyes got warm with tears and finally, he let out a sob. He slapped a hand over his mouth and he leaned against the wall, crying into his hand.
Whether he was drunk or not, Jiyong figured that he never let go of Soohyuk after all.
At 3 AM, Jiyong began to cry silently. He didn't want Daesung to wake up, so he just cried silently, sniffing occasionally. It had been too much to hold in for two years and Jiyong wanted to let it all out. Ai had curled on his chest under the covers to hearten him as he did to Daesung but the pain was too immense for Jiyong to feel better. It had been so hard...
Suddenly, Jiyong felt arms around his waist, pulling him against a hard chest. Jiyong gasped, hiccuping and Daesung's voice was in his ear. "It's okay to cry," He said and Jiyong really cried. He sobbed like there was no tomorrow. He buried his head into Daesung's chest as Daesung rubbed slow circles between his shoulder blades. He cried until he fell asleep.
When he woke up, it was 11 AM. Jiyong had woken up with an immense headache and a dry face. He sat up, his hair messed, his face tear dried. Daesung was sleeping beside him and it was a miracle how Jiyong woke up first. Jiyong stroked Ai's back, watching the cat purr in his sleep and Jiyong smiled, swinging his legs off the bed. His feet touched the cold laminated floor and he went towards the bathroom where he washed his face.
There was a loud groan and Jiyong giggled as he went out. He saw Daesung look wrecked as sat up. His hair was also a mess of light brown. His face was swollen and Jiyong could imagine his own. Daesung chuckled and Jiyong almost spat out his toothpaste as he brushed his teeth. What a funny sight, Jiyong thought. Daesung brushed his teeth and Jiyong called Youngbae.
"You sounded like you cried and Daesung sounds out of it," Youngbae commented.
"I did," Jiyong said as he took out two bagels from the fridge. He sliced them into two pieces and shoved them into the toaster as Daesung poured the orange juice. He looked at the carton before placing back into the fridge.
"You okay, Daesung?" Youngbae asked, amusement in his voice.
"I'm so done," Daesung chuckled as he took a seat at the table and both Jiyong and Youngbae laughed. "I'm not clubbing anymore."
"I'm glad you guys sound okay," Youngbae genuinely said. "Take your pills, drink tea or water, go out, and get air, yeah?"
Daesung nodded as if Youngbae was really there with them and Jiyong smiled. Always the mom. "Okay," Jiyong scoffed.
"That's good. I'll talk to you guys later then," Youngbae said and both Jiyong and Daesung said their "See you later," before Youngbae hung up.
Then they silently ate their bagel and orange juice. It was one of those comfortable mornings where Jiyong liked to just eat and be in the presence of someone. He glanced at Daesung who just chewed on his bagel with no cream. He sniffed and Jiyong cleaned up their finished plates moments after.
"Jiyongie-hyung," Daesung said after several moments of silence. "How did you get into your first fistfight?"
Jiyong set the plate of cat food and watched Ai eat before he sat on the bed, Daesung sitting on the chair at the table. "I was just one of those angsty young adults. So I picked a fight with a gang," Jiyong answered, rewrapping his knuckles with a bandage roll. They were still ripped and still healing.
"Just how?" Daesung asked further and Jiyong looked up at him. Jiyong couldn't really see his eyes since his fringes were long and covered the half part of his face horizontally.
"Well, you harden yourself and just get mean," Jiyong simply said. "But, for good's sake, don't be like me, Daesung," Jiyong warned. "Don't be a loser like me," He added more quietly.
Daesung got quiet at that and he only nodded, a bit numbly. "Yesterday night...," He hesitated and Jiyong waited for him patiently. "Were you just drunk crying or were you really crying?"
Jiyong ripped the bandage with his teeth and pressed it firmly down so it stuck. "Someone I danced with reminded me of someone. So I cried and couldn't stop crying," He said instead.
Daesung stroked Ai's back and answered with a small "Mm".
There was an uncertain silence in the apartment. Then Daesung broke it with another question. "Do you have plans today?" He asked.
"No," Jiyong answered. "I should be, but I don't know what to do."
"Oh, do you mind if I stay here for a while then?" Daesung asked, looking a little apologetic.
Jiyong smiled. "Sure, I don't mind the company," He said and then added,"I might go out at nights. And just disappear. Don't worry about it, though."
Daesung nodded, his face lighting up with relief. "Okay, thanks, hyung."
Jiyong instantly could feel relief release from his shoulders. He remembered how Daesung could lift one's spirit with just a flash of his smile. It was contagious, even. "Stay for as long as you like, Dae," Jiyong gently assured. "I won't be bothered."
"Okay, hyung."
"I kinda miss her," Daesung said as they drank that night.
Jiyong took a gulp of the cheap beer, only listening as Daesung talked. Normally it was the other way around, but Daesung was probably still hurt. But who said love didn't hurt? Only true star-crossed lovers would say it wouldn't. Daesung already knew about Soohyuk and Jiyong, but he never asked. He shouldn't. It was still a sensitive topic for Jiyong. Still hurt, like a fresh scar every day.
"That handkerchief," Jiyong said, jerking his chin upward to the handkerchief around his wrist. "She gave it to you?"
Numbly, Daesung nodded. "She'd always tie it around my neck," Daesung quietly said, his eyes shrouded by his bangs. "She'd tell me how handsome I am."
Jiyong smiled bitterly. "Yeah?"
Daesung nodded, still looking downcasted. "And how about you?" He asked. "You still haven't gotten word?"
Jiyong shook his head, a rueful smile on his lips. "Nah. Nothing," He scoffed. "I keep waiting even though I thought I forgot about him. I thought I didn't care, but it seems I still do."
Daesung was silent of that and then, more cautiously, he asked ,"How does it feel to love a guy?"
Jiyong looked at him, thoughtful. "I don't know, Daesung. That kind of question differs from people to people."
"Then, to you," Daesung said and Jiyong inhaled and exhaled, thinking.
It was a good question. How did it feel to Jiyong to love a guy? He was just a scrawny young adult who immediately got scouted into a fashion design team at a signer label. He was just a meek, shy designer who happened to think secretly that the team leader was hot. He never thought his thoughts made him gay. He never, ever imagined during his happiest times when Soohyuk loved him, that he would be cheated on and then thrown into the streets like a dog. But it felt different from loving a woman. It was more intense for Jiyong, more intimate.
"It's different from how you felt loving her," Jiyong simply said and Daesung tilted his head a little at that. "You feel more connected. For me, it was more intimate. It made me go nuts." Jiyong confessed.
"It sounded like you were happy during that time," Daesung said and Jiyong nodded.
"I was."
"Are you going to go out tonight?" Daesung asked.
Jiyong slowly nodded after a moment's hesitation. "Yeah, I have to go find those guys and get them back for this because of no one," Jiyong lowered his voice. "No one hurts you like this, no one treats you like this."
Daesung smiled genuinely and Jiyong stroked his hair. After a good hour and two, Jiyong got ready to go out. Daesung was out cold after drinking six cans of the beer and he was sleeping on the bed. In the darkness, Jiyong moved to the doorway where he laced on his black Saint Laurent boots. He went out and let the door close before making his way down the stairs, sliding a hand through his white dyed hair.
Jiyong already knew where that gang would be, and he won't mind getting his knuckles bloody again.
He went out into the cold night and walked his way towards the 7 Eleven store two blocks away. He saw them, lounging and playing rough with each other, a group of four. Jiyong recognized yesterday night that one had long dreadlocks and was black. He found the right gang. "Hey," Jiyong said, and they stopped, turning their attention to them. "Were you guys the one who jumped on the guy you guys beat up yesterday?" Jiyong said, glaring up at him through his black eyelined eyes. He should be looking rough.
"Yeah, and who're you?" One of them said gangly. They were surrounding him and Jiyong smirked.
"He's the one who came to save his pussy," The one with dreadlocks said. "You wanna fight?"
And that was it. Jiyong didn't let them react as he slammed his fist into his nose, feeling the bone break. The guy groaned, falling back onto his ass and Jiyong felt himself being pulled back. He flipped on over his back with a trip of his feet and Jiyong spun his body out into a reverse hook kick, kicking him hard in the chest. The fourth one pulled out a knife, ready to stab him. Jiyong craned his neck, hearing a crack and the man lunged. Jiyong sidestepped and grabbed his wrist, snapping it with his knee smoothly. There was a pained screech and Jiyong watched as the four laid down onto the cement, holding their injuries.
It was too easy and Jiyong knew that there was more to it.
"Are you guys serious?" Jiyong said, looking at them. "I didn't come here to fucking mess around."
"Man, this guy's for real, Jason," One of the guys--Jiyong snapped his wrist--said to the one in dreadlocks.
"You're name's Jason?" Jiyong said, and the man stood up, spitting out blood and wiping his nose.
"Don't be fucking petty and go back to being a slut, pretty boy," He cursed. "You're messing with the wrong person."
Jiyong shook his head. "No, I'm not messing with the wrong person. You're the ones who messed with the wrong person," And with that, Jiyong grabbed the nearest chunk of rock from the construction, and threw it at him. The man caught it with his hand and crushed it and Jiyong finally grinned.
"Come on, you motherfucker," Jiyong taunted.
The fight might have been the longest fight Jiyong's ever been in. At least he came out victorious. But he still felt shitty like every other fight. They were all out cold in front of the store and Jiyong spat the blood out from his mouth and walked away from the scene. His footsteps were heavy with exhaustion and Jiyong took in a shaky intake of breath. His eyes burned for some reason; a reason he didn't know. With a single step, Jiyong stepped into the shadows the next neighborhood.
Daesung awoke at 5 am to find the left side of the bed empty. Ai was curled in the absence of Jiyong, his tail wrapped around his curved body as he slept. He sat up slowly, to not wake the cat, and looked for any signs if Jiyong had come home. I might go out at nights. And just disappear. Don't worry about it, though. Jiyong had said. Daesung heard from Youngbae that Jiyong often went missing for days, weeks even, and he'd come back the way he went out the door. He'd only heard, not really seen. But now that he had, he couldn't help but feel the worry pit his stomach heavily.
Jiyong may be strong, but Daesung knew that he was soft at heart. Jiyong's true self was his shy, bashful self that only a few people knew. He might be rough and a little menacing but Jiyong only did that to appear stronger than he looked. He'd wear eyeliner to make himself look rough, and he'd wear differently from when he went to work. And it hurt Daesung because he could tell Jiyong was beating himself up. He didn't know why. But Daesung knew.
Daesung got out of bed and Ai woke up with a jolt. He stayed still and the cat stretched, his tail high as he looked at him and then at the door. Daesung smiled, sitting back down and stroked him. "Sorry, he's not here yet," Daesung gently said.
Ai's tail wavered and he jumped down to the floor and walked to the doorway where he waited. Daesung's heart ached and he was glad that Jiyong had something, if not someone, that waited for him at home. Daesung laid back down, deciding to lay and wait for Jiyong. He'll even make his awful mac and cheese for him when he came back home.
Jiyong came home in two hours. There was smudged blood on his arms and hands, a few scrapes on his face. His elbows were skinned and his jeans had another rip. He had dark circles under his eyes and Jiyong crumpled to the floor in a tired heap. Daesung treated his wounds and Jiyong just sat through it, silent and a little out of it. Ai was meowing to get his attention.
"Hyung, want food?" Daesung asked and Jiyong shook his head.
"I just want to sleep," Jiyong said.
"Sure," Daesung said and Jiyong stood up and climbed into bed, pulling the sheets over his head and staying still. Daesung sat on the floor, cleaning up the rolls and patches, setting them neatly back into the box. He even organized it since everything was disarray. He shut it closed and slid it under the bed and watched Jiyong. The light was beginning to stream in through the window and Daesung began to make his infamous mac' and cheese.
"Daesung," A croaky voice came from the bed and Daesung turned off the gas of the stove and went over to Jiyong. Jiyong's eyes were red when he turned his head slightly to look at him. "Why do I fight?" He asked, his voice cracking.
Daesung stroked Jiyong's hair, smiling gently as he could. "Because you're lonely," He said quietly and Jiyong began to cry. "You just wanted to be loved, but you got cheated on and you couldn't do anything. So you waited and waited," Daesung said, feeling pain for Jiyong. "And waited, but he never contacted you."
With every word Daesung spoke, Jiyong cried harder, burrowing his head into the bedsheets and sobbing into them. Daesung couldn't imagine how hard it would be for Jiyong. He'd been so strong, keeping all his emotions bottled inside. It hurt Daesung to see him like this--small and fragile. He pat his shoulder lightly as Jiyong cried. He must be so lonely to be here. Always sleeping and staring out the window.
After a while, Jiyong stopped crying altogether and he sat up, the loose t-shirt slipping off one shoulder as he wiped his tears away. A smile of bashfulness danced on his lips as he laughed it off. "This is so embarrassing. I've been crying for two nights straight."
Daesung chuckled and Jiyong began to shake his head, looking better. He was smiling now. "It's better to just cry it out," Daesung gently assured and Jiyong smiled at him through his glassy eyes.
"I almost forgot that you took psychology and natural science in university," He said and Daesung laughed.
"I don't exactly look like I studied natural science," Daesung chuckled, looking thoughtful himself.
Jiyong grinned and Daesung could feel and see the genuine in the smile. When Jiyong smiled sincerely, his gums tended to show. It's one of the things Daesung found attractive about Jiyong.
Jiyong took in a deep breath. "I do feel better," He admitted, looking bashful. "But I should gather myself up."
Daesung nodded in encouragement. "Of course, hyung," He paused. "You still want mac' and cheese?"