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Daniel died three months after Evan’s first birthday. His parents quietly retreated into their grief leaving Maddie alone to navigate the loss of her brother. She cried often, not knowing how to heal from something she couldn't talk about, going to little Evan for comfort. Maddie would sneak into Evan's room after they were put to bed and talk to him about Daniel. She told him about Daniel's favorite movie, the funny way he used to say her name, and the way he scrunched his nose when he laughed. Evan listened to Maddie tell her stories in the way that toddlers do. Not paying too close of attention, but always eager to hear more. When their parents caught on to Maddie's story times, they promptly put an end to them, forbidding Maddie from speaking about Daniel again. Evan eventually forgot the stories about the brother he didn't get the chance to know. But, Maddie will always remember how she found solace in her little brother and would be grateful to him forever.
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Evan celebrated his fifth birthday at the park. He and Maddie walked hand in hand all the way there. She chased him down the slides and pushed him on the swing. Then, right before heading back for dinner, Maddie pulled a single cupcake out of her backpack. She gently pushed in a red candle (Evan’s favorite color), and told him to make a wish. There were no flames, but the magic of that moment never left Evan’s memory.
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Maddie pushed Evan on the new bike their dad bought him. No training wheels anymore because he was big enough to balance without them. Maddie ran behind him, eventually letting go, and watched him speed down the street. He returned to her giggling with his nose scrunched, excited about how he did it all by himself. Maddie encouraged him to go further and further, always waiting for his return. When he scraped his knee after jumping a ramp he'd built, Evan went straight to Maddie. She called him impressive and brave then placed a bandage over the cut. And, he thought to himself how lucky he was to have such a good big sister.
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Evan was too old to crawl in his parents’ room after a nightmare. The last time he was scolded so severely his parents ended up being scarier than the dream he’d awoken from. This time, when the shadows crawled across the walls, inching toward him and threatening to steal him in the night, he ran to Maddie’s room. Without complaint, she sleepily scootched to the edge of the bed, giving Evan enough room to crawl in. He cuddled into her, using her as a shield from the scary things that hide in the dark. She sang softly until he fell back to sleep.
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Margaret and Phillip stood over Evan yelling about how reckless and careless he was. He sat quietly as they aimed their insults straight for his heart, then released the trigger, each one striking him in places he didn’t even know could hurt. Maddie ran to stand between them. A shield of protection, fighting back against the words meant to harm, taking the hits herself instead. Later when their parents tired of yelling, Evan grabbed Maddie’s hand and told her that he loved her.
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Evan cried bitter tears after Maddie told him she was following Doug to Boston. He was happy that his sister found an escape from their parents’ suffocating grip. But, he was sad for himself. She told him in the Jeep that the miles between them wouldn't change a thing. At the moment, he believed her. It was when he sat alone with his parents that he mourned his sister, knowing once she drove away, nothing would be the same. Before she left, she took Evan to get pizza, and she told him that she was proud and that she loved him. He hugged her tight and she kissed him on the top of his head.
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Evan sought out Maddie after crashing his motorcycle. Their parents hadn’t known he bought it with the tuition money he was given. There was a version of Evan that was cemented in their parents' minds: Evan Buckley, the reckless loser who won’t amount to anything. With every failed class, school expulsion, broken bone, and disregarded rule, Evan proved them right in their minds. He was Evan The Loser. It was Maddie who saw beyond all of the times he'd fallen short. She saw his heart and he was his best when he was with her because she believed he was the best.
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Evan couldn’t contain his joy when Maddie agreed to leave with him. He bounded into the hospital to pick her up, and that was the first time Maddie had truly broken Evan’s heart. He didn’t want a note of excuses and encouragement. He wanted his big sister, his best friend, to be sitting in the passenger seat as they took off wherever they desired. Eventually, even though he was hurt by her lack of follow through, Maddie began to receive his postcards. He wanted to update her on his adventures and let her know he’d forgiven her. Every achievement, every new experience, every hardship – it was Maddie he wanted to talk to. Maddie held on to those postcards like a lifeline. When her life was spiralling into chaos, she was happy to know Evan was safe, living out his best life.
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It was Evan, now Buck, that Maddie ran to when she had finally had enough. Her Ev- Buck. Safety in the shape of a human golden retriever. She admired Buck's ability to move forward even when she had abandoned him. He was always racing toward something, and he welcomed her with open arms when she finally caught up. Maddie loved Buck deeply and was grateful to always have a home in him.
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Maddie got back up after Doug tried to kill her. She got up and pushed forward because she promised Buck. It was Buck’s arms that caught her. His arms wrapping her in warm reassurance and love. He carried her to safety and encouraged her to keep fighting. He never stopped cheering her on, he never thought she was a lost cause, he never gave up on her even when she gave up on herself. He'd always believed in her and that belief is what pulled her through.
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Maddie sat at Buck’s bedside as he shivered violently. She read him his favorite book, then she read him her favorite book. She held a cold rag to his head after he was sick and changed the sweat soaked sheets whenever he had the energy to get out of bed. She repeated affirmations of her love over and over while he silently sobbed. He kept fighting even when it would have been easier to give up because he made a promise to Maddie. When the shadows stretched across the room, threatening to snatch him up, Maddie stood between him and the darkness singing sweet songs until he drifted to sleep.
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Buck wanted to make Maddie proud of him. He showed up for her in every way he could to thank her for helping him through withdrawal and everything else that followed. Maddie never called him dumb, or reckless, or childish. She never told him that he was too much or that he was exhausting. Buck desperately wanted to be the man Maddie saw when she looked at him. He loved Maddie for never giving up on him and it was important to him that he didn't let her down again.
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Maddie drove Buck home after Deidre took Theo to his foster placement. She sat by his side while he grieved his friends and a child that was never his but loved anyway. Maddie understood loving a child, and being unable to be with them. The memory of Buck begging her to give him her pain, to let him carry what she couldn’t anymore, to let him protect her fell heavy in her lap. He couldn’t carry her pain then, and she can’t carry his pain now. But, she can make him tea and wipe his tears and remind him that he is loved.
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The Buckley siblings learned early on that they could only count on each other. Choosing to lean on one another during the hardest moments of their lives. But, it was also in the small, quiet moments that their bond was strengthened. It was moments of gossiping over coffee, the (sometimes unwanted) shared advice, the secrets kept, the inside jokes. It was the way they pushed each other to be better while loving one another exactly as they are. The Buckley siblings' love for one another was a promise they made sealed with the intertwining of their pinkies. Forever them versus the world.