Chapter Text
Sasaki has been acting weird, thinks Miyano as he reflects on his boyfriend’s behavior this week, truth be told what felt off was this new friendship he seemed to have made recently, Miyano didn’t know much about how Sasaki behaved with women, he’d only see him interact with his sister and a little with his mom, but those were family, then there was Eimi, but that’s his best friend’s girlfriend so of course he would keep his distance.
So, this was the first time he’d seen him interact with one that was his friend and the difference was… there and clear. He’d seen him walk with this new friend between a couple of classes and he seemed happy and cheerful, not that his boyfriend being happy was a bad thing, but maybe a little too happy.
Miyano scolded himself internally for having these jealous thoughts, he trusted his boyfriend, besides, every time Sasaki saw him, he ditched her immediately and went nearly running to him with his boyfriend only grin. This is just a friend, he thought to himself, besides Shumei only likes guys, right? Well, he never said so explicitly, but he’s never really shown interest in women, well to be fair, he hasn’t showed interest in other guys either, wait, isn’t that a good thing? But if they’re friends, why hasn’t he introduced her to him? I know all of Sasaki’s friends and he knows all of mine, why is this different?
As he was spiraling again, his college friend, Yukito, from his Historical Literature class interrupted his thoughts, “Can you save some of those brain cells you’re clearly killing for the group project as well?”
After being a little startled Miyano answered, “Sorry it’s just, Sasaki is acting weird lately and I… I, maybe I should ask him about it.”
Unlike his partner that refused to socialize with his peers, Miyano had made friends quickly at college and had even found a couple of them in his classes in whom he could confide in about his relationship now that Kuresawa and Tashiro took different paths after high school and it was harder to reach them.
There was also Shirahama who’ve made it to college with him, however whenever he talked to him about his boyfriend he noticed that although the basketball player tried to listen and be there for him, he often looked uncomfortable, maybe because he still didn’t have a partner, although Sasaki had his own theory, but he decided not to share it with Miyano since he had no more proof than an impression he got of a glance from the grey-haired boy.
“I don’t know Miyano, your boyfriend is plenty weird to me already”, answered his friend, “he rarely ever talks when you’re not there, and his personality switch is crazy.”
Miyano blushed a bit at this, “But that’s kind of the thing, you know? Lately I’ve seen him being happy and talking a lot to this one classmate of his.”
Yukito’s radar went off at that, “Wait he is being friendly with someone else? Someone other than you?”
“Yeah, that’s what I mean with weird” said Miyano, “it could be nothing too, and maybe I’m overthinking this and...”
“No” interrupted Yukito, “I’ve been cheated on enough times to know people who suddenly start acting weird are up to no good.”
“Ch… cheating?” Stammered Miyano “Sasaki would never.”
“Trust me Miyano” said his friend with a very decisive tone of voice “hot men like Sasaki have many people wanting to date him, like my last ex, she was very attractive and turned heads when walking into any room, until she decided to cave to the attention and cheat.”
“I’m starting to think you could be a little bia
sed,” said Miyano while deadpanning a little.
Yukito then turned a bit more serious and answered, “You know what? Walk me through it, maybe I am, being cheated on three times changes you”
Three times? Yeah, that’s a lot, thought Miyano, “Ok so, it started on Monday…”
Miyano had just gotten out of his Advanced English class, and was headed towards the gym, he knew Sasaki had plans to work with Ugawa on a group project during this free time so they’d leave early together later, so he went to talk to Shirahama about Tashiro’s impending birthday celebration, after this he went to his next classes for the day until he was finally free, then he went to look for Sasaki so they could leave and that’s when he saw him talking with this classmate of his, they looked like they were really focused on something, must be about the class.
The raven-haired guy was about to approach them, but he got distracted with her flashy look; she looked like the artsy type with hair being a mess, half in a bun, half down, a bunch of piercings, and a couple of tattoos on her arms, which was quite unusual for Japan, he figured she must either not be from here or must not care much about how she comes across. At one point he started daydreaming about how Sasaki would look like with tattoos when he saw it, the smile.
It wasn’t the same smile reserved exclusively for the fudanshi, but it certainly was warm enough to make him uncomfortable, he said something with that smile and then she laughed which made his boyfriend blush, groan and then leave with a wave to find Miyano so they could leave.
Now Miyano wasn’t insane, he knew his boyfriend had a right to make friends and smile to other people, but it was something about that smile and the way it came a little too close to a Miyano smile for him, that gave him some discomfort in the pit of his stomach, but since he didn’t want to sound crazy over something so small, he decided to ignore it for now. Besides, his boyfriend was giving him his undivided attention and the real Miyano smile now that it was the two of them alone.
“Ok, so, that wasn’t so bad Miyano” said his college friend bringing him back to reality, “I think you may be a little more paranoid than me, I mean, a smile is nothing to worry about.”
A little annoyed at the interruption and with a pout Miyano said, “It wasn’t just the smile, that’s just how it started, just… would you let me finish? I’m not crazy, ok?”
“Ok, ok, go ahead, continue” encouraged Yukito.
Miyano then continued, “Ok so, then we had their interaction on Tuesday…”
This time Miyano found them looking at her iPad, Sasaki looked really focused on whatever she was showing him, like it was the most interesting thing in the world, it made him curious but from that distance it was nearly impossible, also she seemed to have one of those privacy screen protectors so he couldn’t peep a thing.
At one point he saw him telling her something which prompted a smile from her, then he saw Sasaki go deep in thought, which surprised her, and then he saw his boyfriend get flustered for a moment before the two of them started laughing, sure, he wasn’t flustered for long, but it still made Miyano a bit uncomfortable. And then the laughter, he couldn’t help but wonder what was so funny that made them laugh so much for so long.
Once his boyfriend spotted him, he stopped whatever he was doing with her and ran to Miyano with a smile that made him forget, mostly, the interaction he just witnessed, then he started talking manga with him, and that’s when he completely forgot about it. Sasaki loved him, Miyano knew as much, and nothing about their own interactions had changed, so, why did he feel so jealous?
“I guess him getting flustered is a little more telling” said Yukito in thought, “but I’m sorry Miyano, still not enough, what else you got?”
“Well Wednesday was similar” continued the small college student, “they were watching something in an iPad, then they were laughing, no flustered face this time, and then Sasaki went over to me when he saw me, but still, no mention of this person, or why they keep hanging out, and I feel as if he avoids talking about her.”
After some thinking Yukito answered, “so I guess it’s the not knowing of it all, which does make sense, even if innocent, but today’s Friday, for you to be so conflicted, something else must have happened yesterday, am I right?”
Miyano looked at the floor for a moment, then took a deep breath and started “So there was Thursday…”
On Thursday Miyano hadn’t decided how he could ask Sasaki about his new friend, he wanted to know so badly who she was, and why was she so interesting to him, but at the same time in a way that didn’t discourage his boyfriend from making friends at college, he already knew he had trouble in this department, so he didn’t want to make it worse due to his own jealousy.
He thought maybe this time instead of Sasaki running to him, he would approach the two himself. Same as the previous days, this woman showed Sasaki her iPad, and like the other days the copper-haired boy leaned in to watch, and as he did a determined Miyano marched towards them, but something stopped him in his tracks.
Sasaki had done the, Miyano smile, the smile that was just reserved for him, the one, he told him he didn’t want anyone else seeing, he wasn’t hallucinating, whatever she was showing him, made him as happy as Miyano, and the discomfort in the pit in his stomach grew bigger and even made him somewhat nauseous.
Without thinking, he hid behind a tree and sat down so he could text the only person he knew would not only listen but also advise him properly since he was also in a committed relationship, Kuresawa, unfortunately he was busy with classes, but not completely unavailable to his best friend, he asked him to text him what had happened, which he was in the middle of doing when he heard a familiar voice call out his name.
It was Sasaki, Miyano quickly switched to another app on his phone, before turning around, and he must’ve had his feelings on his face since the older guy immediately questioned him about it. Not ready to talk about his feelings, since he didn’t even understand it himself, he opted to switch the topic and make up a reason for his distress that wouldn’t further worry his boyfriend, he fudanshi-ed so hard with his BL excuse that it didn’t even give Sasaki a moment to understand what was going on until he was in the middle of a complicated plot of something he clearly hadn’t read, especially since Miyano was making it up from two different storied he’d read that he accidentally fused.
By night once he was back at his own place, he finally sent the message to Kuresawa, to which his friend told him that he absolutely needed to talk to his boyfriend, and he needed to stop dragging it out so it wouldn’t turn into something bigger, and that he’d leave his Friday afternoon open for him in case he needed to talk after talking to Sasaki.
“I’ll pretend I’m not offended that you didn’t ask me since I’m right here” said Yukito in a fake indignant tone.
This made Miyano chuckle, “Yeah well, he’s been invested in this relationship before it started so, he was the first person I thought of.”
There was a bit of a pause that eventually Yukito broke with a “you need to talk to him Miyano, you won’t have peace until you do and STOP GETTING DISTRACTED WITH HIS SMILE.”
Miyano knew this, so he walked with a firm step towards where he knew he would find the pair. He secretly hoped that this time he would find Sasaki alone, that their interactions were finally over, but no such luck, once again he found them together, no iPad this time, but they were talking and she did hand him something, like an envelope, Sasaki watched the contents of this and his soft smile made the discomfort in the pit of his stomach return.
He truly wanted to go there and interrupt the two of them, for Miyano enough was enough, but then also, another part of him, the one that had been feeling so insecure these days made him only get closer so he could maybe listen in on them before he said anything to his boyfriend, he didn’t want to assume only to find out these were completely innocent interactions.
But by the time he got close enough to listen, it seemed as if they were done talking, that is until this nameless woman, whomever she is, stopped his beloved and said something that turned the ball in the pit of his stomach into nausea again.
“Sasaki before I forget, we got distracted on Wednesday and you didn’t answer me about the date, are we doing it?” she asked him calmly.
No, no, no, thought Miyano, he will say no, he has to say no, he would never do that to me, please say no, please Sasaki just say no. Why isn’t he saying no? Why does it seem like he’s actually thinking about it?
Miyano’s heart felt like it would burst out of his chest the longer it took Sasaki to reply, until he finally heard his boyfriend’s answer, an answer that made the whole world stop in its tracks for him and made him feel like everything crumbled down under him.
“I’ll check Miyano’s schedule and get back to you, but, yeah, we’re doing it.”
Oh no
Miyano was done hearing, his chest hurt too much, and he felt like his heart had just broken into a million pieces, so he ran as fast as he could making sure no one noticed him. Sasaki had betrayed him, and Miyano felt they had nothing more to talk about now.
After he was out of sight he took out his phone and noticed Sasaki’s missed calls and messages asking him where he was, but he couldn’t bring himself to answer them, so he just dialed Kuresawa’s number and he agreed to meet him somewhere off campus, and away from any place he could be found at.