Work Text:
it’s an undisputable fact that jimin has a lot of feelings. he has a lot of feelings about a lot of things and that’s okay because he’s human and humans tend to have emotions. he tries to keep them under wraps, he really does, but sometimes he just can’t and he has to let them out somehow. the easiest way to deal with intense feelings, he’s learnt, is to unapologetically send whatever he thinks of first to his facebook group chat with his best friends, taehyung and jungkook. he can send whatever he likes peacefully because he knows for a fact that no matter how embarrassing it is, one of them will be able to say something even worse. it’s a good system. it’s a good system and it works so jimin can let out all of his inner emotions without a fear in the world because his friends have his back no matter what.
(until it isn’t a good system at all because it fails him and it turns out his friends do not have his back in the slightest because they are filthy traitors and he has all the fear in the world. it’s not actually taehyung and jungkook’s fault, he will realise later when he thinks back on it, no, it’s actually all min fucking yoongi’s fault and he should have all the blame. (even later on when he’ll look back on it, he will wonder if it was all just down to him before deciding no, it’s still min fucking yoongi’s fault.) )
jimin’s known yoongi for a while - taehyung met one of yoongi’s friends hoseok in a weird situation involving coffee, handstands and possibly a unicycle if jimin remembers correctly, and they’d become fast friends, even more so when they realised they were actually taking similar courses at university. this led to jimin and jungkook meeting hoseok and then hoseok letting his three best friends, namjoon, yoongi and jin, meet jimin and jungkook and taehyung. this would be jimin’s downfall. yoongi was possibly the most perfect person he’s ever met and jimin had a new record for the fastest crush formed possibly ever. (it didn’t even take jimin five minutes after getting home from their first meeting to aggressively shout in caps lock on his groupchat that he was in love and there was no going back and he was absolutely fucking doomed. jungkook laughed at him for at least ten minutes afterwards.) luckily, or unluckily depending on how you see it, all the boys became good enough friends that hung out enough that it made logical sense to create a groupchat for them all. jimin was careful on their groupchat, named “bts” for a different reason each day (taehyung especially loved to think of the weirdest phrases it could stand for), not to accidentally come across as too much. he by no means muted his personality, he was just..more careful than he would be with his messages, especially compared to the chat with taehyung and jungkook which was named “meme bros” for some god awful reason that he still couldn’t really remember.
so like a sane person, when yoongi said something on bts that would cause an onslaught of feelings in jimin’s delicate little heart, he would change his active conversation quickly in order to let it all out. it worked. it was a great system that never let him down and it worked until it didn’t.
seokjin sent a message to bts: look im not saying i cant im saying i dont want to
taehyung to bts: wtf hyung after all the love i have given u this is how u treat me :(
taehyung to bts: this is animal abuse and u should feel bad :(
seokjin to bts: this is not animal abuse because i refuse to bake you “a shit ton of brownies that weigh more than my head”
namjoon to bts: pretty sure animals probably shouldn’t eat brownies anyway
hoseok to bts: yeah, doesn’t chocolate kill them?? Σ(゜ロ゜;)
jungkook to bts: well in that case hyung u should absolutely make tae hyung brownies
jungkook to bts: please
jungkook to bts: free us of this living hell
jimin to bts: pls we dont know how much longer we can go on like this
taehyung to bts: OI
taehyung to bts: THATS SO MEAN
taehyung to bts: WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS :( :( :( :(
seokjin to bts: ok you have a point, i will consider it
taehyung to bts: i dont want them anymore u are the spawn of the devil :((((
namjoon to bts: liar
taehyung to bts: ok u right i still want them
yoongi to bts: do we not have this conversation at least once a week
yoongi to bts: or is this still the same conversation from last week
yoongi to bts: actually what even is the day
jimin sent a message to meme bros: does he mean it
jimin to meme bros: should i tell him
jimin to meme bros: i dont wanna seem clingy tho??
jimin to meme bros: but like
jimin to meme bros: if he needs my assistance i should def help????
jimin to meme bros: but if i tell him and hes kidding oh ym god i will have to die itd be so embarrassing
jungkook to meme bros: u just messaged us six times in a row about this ur already embarrassing enough without replying
jimin to meme bros: you are so inconsiderate i am a delicate person ok i am just trying to prove that i am clearly boyfriend material and we are meant to be together
jimin to meme bros: can you show me a little bit of support jungkook
jungkook to meme bros: no i cannot
jungkook to meme bros: tae is too nice to you already one of us has to be the bitter one
jimin to meme bros: ok true tae is the real love of my life
taehyung to meme bros: taehyung haha more like baehyung
jungkook to meme bros: fucking hell
jimin to meme bros: ok never mind i changed my mind
taehyung to meme bros: :(
taehyung to meme bros: everyones so mean to me
taehyung to meme bros: hello darkness my old friend
jimin to meme bros: tae no kookie is the emo one remember you cant steal his place in the group
jimin to meme bros: hes the real 2006 pete wentz
jungkook to meme bros: im not emo anymore fuck off it was a phase
hoseok sent a message to bts: today...is the day that you promised you would upload a selfie to your instagram because it’s been two months since your last one and your followers are suffering and you promised you would eh eh (/^▽^)/
jungkook to bts: why do u still use emoticons ur like 30
hoseok to bts: what did you just say to me you little shit (⊙︿⊙✿)
namjoon to bts: haha that looks like jin hyung
seokjin to bts: namjoon please
hoseok to bts: excuse me not the point!!! i’m not 30!!!! i’m nowhere near 30!! i am young, wild and free
hoseok to bts: and very attractive i might add ԅ( ˘ω˘ ԅ)
taehyung to bts: why the fuck u lying
taehyung to bts: why u always lying
jungkook to bts: mMmmMMM o my god stOp fuckign lyyyyinnnn
jimin to bts: stop bullying hobi hyung before you know it he will be on his death bed and youll feel bad
hoseok to bts: I’M NOT EVEN THE OLDEST
hoseok to bts: IF I’M OLD THEN JIN HYUNG MUST BE ANCIENT
seokjin to bts: what did you just sayabout me
hoseok to bts: THAT YOU’RE VERY PRETTY AND I APPRECIATE YOU HAHA (´∀｀)♡
namjoon to bts: ...anyway yoongi you did promise you would post a selfie
yoongi to bts: if i have to then fine
yoongi to bts: brb
jimin sent a message to meme bros: are you ready
jimin to meme bros: oh my god hes gonna send a selfie
jimin to meme bros: i cant wait to cry
jimin to meme bros: hes gonna look so good that all my limbs will fall off
jungkook to meme bros: why are u so excited u literally see his face like. irl
jungkook to meme bros: are u just excited bc now u can have something to print out and add physically to ur wank bank
jimin to meme bros: i wish i didnt have eyes so i didnt have read that
taehyung to meme bros: wank
taehyung to meme bros: bank
taehyung to meme bros: thats iconic
jimin to meme bros: i beg you stop encouraging him
jimin took this moment to put his phone down and get a drink from the kitchen. he genuinely felt excited and nervous to see yoongi’s selfies despite knowing that it’s absolutely ridiculous because yes he does see him in real life at least once a week but it’s just...different. it’s nowhere near better than seeing him in real life, don’t get jimin wrong, it’s just different to see a photo of yoongi that yoongi took on purpose and that yoongi knows looks good. if yoongi thinks he looks good then jimin knows he’s gonna feel like he’s won the lottery. at least five times. but a kind of sad lottery because he still doesn’t get to kiss yoongi even though he really wants to and he doesn’t get to tell yoongi how good he looks all the time even when yoongi thinks he doesn’t. jimin returned back to his room and flopped down onto the bed, stomach first, leaning over to pick up his phone.
yoongi sent a message to bts: ok i couldn’t be bothered to take any right now but there’s this one from the other day is this good enough for your high maintenance asses
yoongi sent an image to bts:
jimin to bts: Spit In My Mouth
there comes a time in every person’s life when all they want to do is curl up on the floor and die of embarrassment. this was that time in jimin’s life. as soon as he saw yoongi’s selfie, he’d gasped, yanked his head to look up at the ceiling and then shut his eyes because. well. emotions. but during his emotional escapade, instead of backing out of the facebook conversation and moving to his chat with taehyung and jungkook, he in fact had not moved at all. while jimin is qualified at typing and sending with his eyes shut, he is not qualified at moving between conversations. as soon as he actually opened his eyes and looked down at his phone to see any replies, he realised his mistake. and then proceeded to promptly want to die.
namjoon to bts: ...um
seokjin to bts: jimin are you okay
jimin to bts: TH AT WAS NOT
jimin to bts: MEANT FOR THIS CONVERSATION
jimin to bts: NO IT WASNT
jimin to bts: NOT EVEN ABOUT YOU YOONGI HYUNG PLEASE DONT WORRY
jimin to bts: I DEFINITELY DONT WANT YOU TO SPIT IN MY MOUTH
jimin to bts: I MEAN NO OFFENCE BUT YOU PROBABLY DONT WANT TO SPIT IN MY MOUTH EITHER SO
jimin to bts: IM GONNA
jimin to bts: OKAY
jungkook to bts: holy shit this is the best day of m y whole life im cackling
hoseok to bts: why would you want someone to spit in your mouth, that’s literally so gross jimin ( ̵˃﹏˂̵ )
hoseok to bts: it’s even grosser that you want it to be yoongi hyung who spits in your mouth
seokjin to bts: what... kind of conversation were you having where you needed to command someone to spit in your mouth
namjoon to bts: didn’t even ask politely for hyung to spit in his mouth. did you see that absolutely no manners kids these days
seokjin to bts: i know joonie i know i thought we were raising them better than this
jimin to bts: PLEASE NO IT’S
jimin to bts: AN INSIDE JOKE
jimin to bts: WITH TAEKOOK
jimin to bts: THAT I MEANT TO SEND ON ANOTHER CHAT
taehyung to bts: jimin
jungkook to bts: jimin
jimin to bts: DONT DO IT
taehyung to bts: WHY THE FUCK U LYIIIIIIINNG
taehyung to bts: WHY U ALWAYS LLLYYYYINNNN
jungkook to bts: MMMMMMMMMMMMO MY G OD STOP FCUCKIGN LY ING
jimin to bts: i want to die
jungkook to bts: if it makes u feel better i kind of want u to die too
taehyung to bts: kookie dont be mean hes delicate he just wants yoongi hyung to spit in his mouth
taehyung to bts: i dont want u to die jiminpoo
taehyung to bts: actually i want hyung to spit in ur mouth as well
jimin sent a message to meme bros: PLEASE STOP MAKING THIS WORSE I THOUGHT U WERE MY FRIENDS
jimin to meme bros: I NEED TO LEAVE THE GC I HAVE TO GO BYE BTS SEE YOU LATER IM DELETING MYSELF OFF THE INTERNET
taehyung to meme bros: jiminie bud dont worry just b chill
taehyung to meme bros: it already seems like its a joke dont you worry your strangely small head itll all blow over and just become one actual big inside joke All Chill no thrill
hoseok sent a message to bts: i’m never asking hyungie to post a selfie again
yoongi to bts: im
yoongi to bts: what the fuck just happened
yoongi to bts: jimin id really rather not spit in your mouth if thats ok
as if jimin thought it actually couldn’t get worse. this may be the worst day of his life. he is terrible. his friends are terrible. min yoongi is terrible. everything is terrible.
yoongi sent a message to jimin: don’t get me wrong i wouldn’t mind my saliva in your mouth i’d just rather it wasn’t because i spat in it
yoongi to jimin: that was so fucking gross i made kissing sound gross
yoongi to jimin: that’s what i’m trying to say
yoongi to jimin: i wouldn’t mind if we kind of made out for the rest of my life
yoongi to jimin: if that’s cool with you
jimin to yoongi: holy shit
jimin to yoongi: holy shit????????????/
jimin to yoongi: are you sure you sent this to the right person
jimin to yoongi: did someone hack your account
jimin to yoongi: did someone abduct you do you want me to call the police
yoongi to jimin: i am sure
yoongi to jimin: i min yoongi
yoongi to jimin: would like to make out with you forever park jimin
yoongi to jimin: if that’s okay
jimin to yoongi: ok hold on did i actually die
yoongi to jimin: no
jimin to yoongi: i dont believe you i think im dead
yoongi to jimin: you are not dead i’m not into necrophilia you fucking sicko
jimin to yoongi: ok im not dead but like
jimin to yoongi: are you SURE
yoongi to jimin: i’m going to punch you
jimin to yoongi: please dont i bruise easily
jimin to yoongi: like a peach
jimin to yoongi: do peaches bruise easily
yoongi to jimin: maybe? i’m not a fruit expert
yoongi to jimin: this is off topic
yoongi to jimin: stop thinking about peaches when you could think about me instead
jimin to yoongi: no offence but fuck you because there is never a time when im not thinking about you
jimin to yoongi: you kind of ruined my life but in a good way
yoongi to jimin: sorry?
jimin to yoongi: not forgiven but okay
yoongi to jimin: how about i make it up to you in other ways then?
jimin to yoongi: HOLY SHIT ALL MY LIMBS JUST FELL OFF
yoongi to jimin: honestly what
jimin to yoongi: SORRY IM IN TOO MUCH SHOCK TO MOVE CONVOS AND SHOUT THIS AT TAE AND KOOKIE SO
jimin to yoongi: CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG BUT LIKE IM GETTING THE IMPRESSION THAT
jimin to yoongi: YOU WANT TO KISS AND STUFF
jimin to yoongi: WITH ME????
yoongi to jimin: yes i do please stop shouting
jimin to yoongi: i just have a lot of emotions
jimin to yoongi: i never imagined this day would come
jimin to yoongi: heaven is a place on earth
yoongi to jimin: okay fair enough
yoongi to jimin: so let’s go on a date then yeah?
jimin to yoongi: hell fucking yeah yeah yeah
jimin to yoongi: at least like ten yeah
jimin to yoongi: yes yeah please thanks yes
yoongi to jimin: do you need a nap?
yoongi to jimin: go take a nap
jimin to yoongi: only if you come cuddle with me
yoongi to jimin: you serious?
jimin to yoongi: yeah idk are you
yoongi to jimin: yeah i’m fucking serious i’m on my way now see you in ten
jimin placed his phone next to him, lied on his bed, face smiling so hard it hurt until he heard the doorbell ring.