Work Text:
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Time.
20:34
I looked at my phone.
'Sorry... Recording is going really slowly today we probably have to move tonight's dinner laterT-T'
Today, me and Roland planned to have a dinner date to celebrate our anniversary. It was his proposal to do it, but it seems that we'll have to cancel it.
As I sent a simple 'Okay. Do your best at work.' An unintended sigh slips out of my lips.
I make my way to the kitchen. We haven't went for groceries yet, but if i remember correctly there should be enough ingredients for one more meal.
Wearing an apron that's a few sizes too large for me, i start cooking. When Roland said recording is moving slowly, he would usually be home by midnight. When that happens I would often wait for him and welcome him home...that was our routine.
But for some reason I don't feel like doing that tonight.
Perhaps after that message I felt a certain emotion buiding up inside of me.
Is this a 'rebellious phase'? I can't tell. It has been a while after we started living together, and a lot longer since we started dating. I've come to known a lot of different emotions ever since meeting him, and he has always been able to explain and accept me for it. This time...I don't understand it. All I know is that this emotion is a negative one, that's for sure.
I finished cooking a simple omelette rice. I'm in no way good at cooking, so there's only a handful of recipies i can cook up with enough confidence. This is one of them.
I put plastic wrap around the plate while the dish was still hot. just in case I wrote on a post it note on top of the plastic wrap.
After I finished cleaning up I let out another sigh. I wonder what has gotten into me.
I glanced at the clock on the wall.
21:16
It's a bit early, but...
"...let's sleep"
I make my way into our shared bedroom.
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"Ah...what a tragedy this is"
The person who walked passed me turned to look strangely my way because of my sudden monologue.
That does little matter to me as I'm used to those gazes. Looking up the night sky I realized it is way past sunset.
"That's really not important right now"
I've made a grave mistake.
I pull out my phone and looked down at the screen.
'Sorry, Recording is going really slowly today we probably have to move tonight's dinner later' 20:34 read
'Okay. Do your best at work.' 20:34
An immediate response.
"I guess that makes sense..." I scratched the back of my head as I laugh bitterly.
I didn't think today's recording would take that long, The schedule said we'll finish by 8 but problems after problems arise and...
I looked at my wrist watch as I walk along the empty roadside of my neighborhood.
00:09 AM
Too late for going out now...
Soon I arrived in front of our shared house. It's relatively bigger than the average 2LDK house, but I don't think that's the reason for the intimidation I'm feeling.
With a click of the key, I opened the front door.
"I'm home"
...No response.
I quietly took off my shoes, put away my luggage and went to the bathroom to wash up. Afterwards I walked to the living room. The lights were on but nobody seems to be there.
.....Have I made her mad?
That would makes sense...We were planning around this dinner for a while. I was the one who proposed it and yet I'm the one who cancelled it on my own too. Although it couldn't be helped. It's not that I wanted to do overtime.
Thinking such, I shook my head a few times. No, I'm completely in the wrong this time. Before I manage to form more excuses i spotted something unnatural on the dining table across the room.
A plate of what seems to be omelette rice.
That's one of her specialty food. I know that because I thought her how to. She's not good at cooking, but this is one of the few that she can cook decently, as she had practiced day in and day out to be able to make this dish consistently without any failures.
When I got to the dining table, I noticed that the rice was wrapped neatly with a plastic wrap. A note was attached8 on it.
'Eat this if you haven't eaten yet. Remember to heat it up first.'
***
The sound of the alarm rings loudly in the room.
Groggily, I raise my heavy body from under the bed cover.
The clock shows the time, 5:30. too early for the sun to show up, making the room dark with little light source.
Immediately after I turn off the alarm, I turns her head to the other side of the bed.
Empty.
Only the white sheets glares at my eyes.
My shoulders shook very slightly.
Not peeling my eyes off the bed, my thoughts starts to run into a spiral. The only thing on my mind is the absence of his presence.
The person that should have been where those white sheets are. The last person that I would talk to before going to sleep, and the first person I would see when she woke up. The memories of last night came back to me.
Did he...never came back?
The morning spring air felt colder on her skin.
just as my half awake mind was about to drown, a soft creak breaks the ice-like silence. The door was opened, along with it light poured from the slit, steadily widening as the door opens wider. At the same time, my pupils opens wider.
"...Ro..land...." a weak whisper came out of my lips.
The way the light outside of the room shines behind his figure made Saki speechless. It almost felt like a halo of light was surrounding him. Almost divine.
"Good morning, love. Did you sleep well?" Roland kindly inquires with his signature smile, eyes perfectly curled into a crescent.
My eyes burns, moistening every passing moment. I hung my head down to hide my face. As he is unable to see clearly my expression in the dark, Roland silently observes me. I'm afraid he could see that this girl, his lover, in front of him isn't her usual self.
"...I'll go there okay."
The silence amplifies every sound that resonates in the room. I could hear foot steps slowly closing in until i see his barefoot by my own.
"Are you still angry at me?"
No.
"What a stupid question, of course you are is. Are you disappointed in me?"
I'm not.
He thought of lifting her head up, but decided against it and he puts his knee on the floor and lower himself. He looks up to see my face, unfortunately covered by her bangs, so he slowly tucks it away with his hand, softly caressing her forehead at the same time. I could see a heartbreaking scrunched up face a pair of heterochromatic eyes that looks at me with so much worry. Before I knew it, tears falls over.
Suddenly he pulled me into his arms, a sob breaks out purely by reflex and the suddenness of his actions.
My body that was on the bed beforehand was pulled down and falls onto Roland's lap. my eyesight was quickly covered by a body distinctively larger than i am. The warmth of it enveloping me whole.
In the first place, throughout our relationship, we aren't one for a lot of casual physical affections, as much as it might be surprising. we like to show our affection through words instead. But in rare times, exactly when we need it, they would seek eachothers' warmth for reassurance. In that case, this situation can fit in that scenario.
Strengthening his embrace, the usually talkative Roland stayed dead silent. In the room only the fan of the air conditioner could be slightly heard. not long after, me still being in his arms reciprocate his hold, slightly clinging onto his chest.
unbeknownst to me, Roland felt relieved. But at the same time, the feeling of guilt rises up from his gut. How could he hurt his one and only loved one? The only one who had ever tried to understand him.
"...I'm sorry."
A barely audible trembling whisper came from Roland first. His voice directly transmitted to my eardrums, i slightly shudder from the closeness.
Then there was silence.
"..........I'm not...angry..." I finally said.
Roland stayed silent, encouraging me to continue, or perhaps he could not bear to ask why.
"........I had a dream."
"Dream?"
"We had a fight in the dream. It's probably the effect of last night that stuck in my mind...but, after I woke up, I looked around and...you're not...here...., ...I thought...."
...I thought you left me.
There was no need to complete that sentence. For Roland had understood me completely.
I was not one to be able to convey my feelings in an obvious manner, and Roland knows that. He always try and make sense of the reason why I do or say things
"Reading people's motives should be my expertise, yet there were times when I could not understand what you were thinking."
"It's almost pathetic how useless my skills are in the most important moments, I almost felt like laughing."
Roland lets out a self-deprecating chuckle. He rubs his chin to the crown of my head.
"That's a horrible joke" I frowned in retort.
"What a difficult to understand person..."
Roland releases his hold, his arms now holding my shoulders, he pushed her slightly away from him. I blink and looks up to his straight facing eyes in surprise. His fingers wipes away the droplets at the edge of my eyes. My shoulders instinctively stiffen up in confusion.
"Rol---!?"
As I tried to call his name, Roland closed the distance between us. Putting a lid on my mouth.
Cushion soft lips presses itself against mine. The tender exchange warming up the cold air as if it never existed before. As his lips reluctantly pulls away, he starts to speak uncertain if its to me, or to himself.
"How lame i am, how could I not realize it sooner?"
in an almost inaudible volume, he whispered to my ear.
"You were lonely, weren't you?"
Fin.