Chapter Text
“We need to talk.”
Shauna Shipman was halfway through shoving a history textbook into her locker when Melissa said those words. There were few sentences in the English language less inspiring than that one, especially when they were delivered by your girlfriend in the middle of third period. Immediately, Shauna knew this conversation was going to ruin her day. Not because she thought anything was seriously wrong, but because Melissa only ever sounded this dramatic when Shauna had forgotten to do something. She tried really hard not to roll her eyes.
“That sounds ominous.”
Melissa attempted a smile and failed miserably, fingers twisting anxiously around the strap of her backpack. “Can we go somewhere private?”
Shauna stared at her for a second too long before sighing. “Fine.”
Melissa led her outside, past the gym and toward the hockey field. Technically it was also the soccer field, but Shauna refused to acknowledge that on principle. They stopped beneath the bleachers where nobody could see them. Shauna shoved her hands into the pockets of her hoodie and waited for her girlfriend to start talking. Instead, Melissa just stood there shifting nervously from one foot to the other, opening her mouth like she was about to say something before immediately closing it again. After nearly a full minute of watching her struggle to form a sentence, Shauna finally spoke.
“So?”
“I… well” Melissa started “I dont know how to say this”
“Look, is this because I called your brother dumb? I already said I was sorry,” Shauna muttered. It wasn’t really her fault; it had just slipped out. Melissa’s brother was truly fucking dumb.
“No, it’s not that”
“Then what is it?”
Melissa looked at her for a long moment, visibly trying to work up the nerve to say something.
“We need to break up.”
Shauna barked out a laugh so suddenly she nearly choked on it. She bent forward slightly, rubbing a hand over her face. “Sorry sorry,” she said, trying and failing to hold back another laugh. “I thought you said you wanted to break up.”
“Shauna…”
The smile slipped off Shauna’s face as she realized Melissa wasn’t joking. Worse, she looked guilty. And suddenly Shauna didn’t know what to say.
“Oh.”
Her chest tightened painfully for half a second before pure offense drowned it out completely. “What the actual fuck?”
Melissa blinked. “What?”
“The audacity of you trying to break up with me.”
Melissa stared at her like she’d missed the point entirely. “Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously.”
“I’m trying to have an actual conversation.”
“And I’m trying to understand why you’re trying to dump me here of all places. People come here to get high, are you insane?”
Melissa rubbed at her forehead. “Can you not do this right now? Not everything has to be a joke.”
Shauna crossed her arms. “Maybe stop saying insane things to me, then.”
Melissa exhaled sharply. “You know what? This is exactly why I’m doing this.”
“What does that even mean?”
“You never listen to me.”
Shauna stared blankly at her. “What do you think I’m doing right now?”
Melissa shook her head. “This is pointless.” Then, somehow deciding she had suffered enough, she turned and started walking away.
“Melissa.” She kept walking. “Hey,” Shauna snapped, grabbing her arm and turning her back around. “We are not done talking.”
Melissa looked frustrated now, which was interesting considering she was the one ending the relationship.
“Explain.”
The blonde pulled her arm free. “You never do anything romantic. Half the time it feels like you’re barely even in this relationship.” She looked away. “Sometimes I think you only got with me because you were bored.”
Shauna let out a disbelieving laugh. “What are you talking about? I am romantic”
“You’re not.”
“Yes, I am.”
“You really aren’t.”
Shauna scoffed. “Okay, sorry I didn’t write you a fucking love letter or whatever.”
“You never show up for me.”
“I…”
Melissa folded her arms tightly across her chest. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at one of my games.”
“Oh my God,” Shauna muttered. “This is about soccer?”
“It’s not just soccer.”
“You’re breaking up with me because I don’t enjoy watching people run around in shorts for two hours?”
Melissa’s jaw tightened. “You knew I wanted you there.”
“And you know I hate soccer.”
“Yes, but you’re supposed to love me.”
That actually made Shauna pause. Not because it was thoughtful, but because it was such manipulative bullshit she almost admired it.
“You cannot be serious.”
Melissa looked away first, which immediately made Shauna suspicious. “We were supposed to support each other,” She said quietly.
Shauna laughed again, harsher this time. "Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Act like I'm a bad girlfriend because of that. You’re the one who wanted this relationship hidden.”
“I know.”
“You’re the one who didn’t want people finding out.”
“I know.”
“So now suddenly I’m being punished because I didn’t publicly support a relationship you wouldn’t even let me publicly acknowledge?”
Melissa folded her arms tightly across her chest. “Maybe if you’d acted like you cared, I would’ve felt differently.”
For a second, Shauna just stared at her. Did Melissa seriously think she didn’t care? Like Shauna hadn’t spent months sneaking around and pretending not to know her because Melissa was terrified someone would figure it out. And now somehow that was Shauna’s fault too.
“I…” Shauna shook her head, baffled. “I genuinely don’t even know what to say to that.”
“Shauna—” Melissa had that guilty look again. And suddenly a horrible thought pushed its way into Shauna’s brain.
“Is there someone else?”
Melissa froze. It only lasted half a second, but Shauna saw it. Saw the panic flicker across her face. And just like that, everything clicked into place.
“Oh my God,” She whispered.
Melissa immediately shook her head. “It’s not—”
“There is someone else.”
“It’s complicated.”
“Did you fucking cheat on me?”
Silence. Shauna felt something hot crawl up her throat. “Oh my fucking god”
“I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
“No,” She snapped, voice rising sharply, “I bet you fucking didn’t. People don’t accidentally fall on someone else’s mouth, Melissa.”
“I can explain...”
“Who is she?” The blonde hesitated. And somehow that was the most insulting part. Like she was protecting her. “Who.”
“Shauna—”
“Say her name.”
Melissa swallowed. “Gen.”
Shauna stared at her and then actually scoffed. “Gen?” she repeated incredulously. “Your fucking best friend?” Melissa winced. “Oh, you have got to be kidding me.”
“She understands me.”
Shauna looked physically ill. “Oh shut the fuck up, you’re re not some mysterious person who talks about deep stuff, your favourite movie is the fucking little mermaid.”
“That’s not fair.”
“No, cheating on me is not fair.”
Melissa’s face tightened. “You never took this relationship seriously.”
Shauna almost laughed again from sheer disbelief. “Are you serious?”
“You didn’t even want to be seen with me.”
“That was your rule.”
“You never argued against it.”
“Because I respected what you wanted!”
Melissa looked away, she had that guilty look again. And suddenly Shauna understood something horrible. Melissa had already rewritten their entire relationship in her head. She’d already decided Shauna was the problem so she wouldn’t have to feel guilty about what she did. And that? That made her fucking furious.
“I never meant to hurt you,” Melissa started softly.
Shauna laughed darkly at that. “Hurt me?” She stepped closer, jabbing a finger against the girl’s chest. “You think you have the power to hurt me? You think you’re important? No one gives a shit about you.”
Melissa’s eyes filled with tears. “Why can’t you just be a nice person?”
“You can convince yourself I’m an asshole all you want. Hell, maybe you’re right.” Shauna smiled coldly. “But I’m not the one who cheated on you, am I?” Melissa opened her mouth to speak, but Shauna cut her off immediately.
“You’re nothing”
Then she shoved past her shoulder.
That was four months ago.
Four months since Melissa had dumped her. Four months since Shauna had pretended not to care every single time she saw Melissa walking through the hallways holding Gen’s hand openly in the exact same way she’d never been willing to hold Shauna’s. So yeah, she didn’t care. She wasn’t hurt.
Except that was a complete lie, because it turned out Shauna was, in fact, extremely hurt.
What was so terrible about her that Melissa had hidden her for months because she “wasn’t ready,” only to suddenly become ready for someone else? Shauna knew she wasn’t the perfect girlfriend. She wasn’t overly romantic, sometimes she forgot important dates, and apparently refusing to watch soccer games was now considered a criminal offense. But fuck, even she had feelings.
And she was really fucking hurt.
Only two of her friends knew about the relationship, Nat and Lottie, and ever since the breakup they’d developed the deeply irritating habit of looking at her with visible pity whenever Melissa and Gen walked by together. Shauna hated pity almost as much as she hated soccer. Which was why she was currently trying very hard not to think about any of it as she stretched outside before continuing hockey practice.
The weather was warm, and Shauna wasn’t really paying attention to the gossip happening next to her as her teammates stretched across the field. That is until several of them groaned at once. Shauna rolled her eyes before she even turned around because she already knew exactly what that reaction meant.
“Shipman.”
The devil.
That was the devil’s voice. Jackie Taylor. Basically the bane of her existence.
Shauna Shipman hated Jackie Taylor.
Jackie Taylor hated Shauna Shipman.
Everyone knew that. It was common knowledge, like the sky was blue or two plus two equaled four.
It had been that way since they were eight years old and Shauna had accidentally broken Jackie’s favorite doll during a sleepover. Jackie then proceeded to tell every single third grader that Shauna was evil, which resulted in nobody wanting to play with her for almost three weeks until Lottie Matthews, apparently driven by empathy or charity, had walked up to her during recess and asked if she wanted to play tag.
So, ever since then they had basically sworn to hate each other forever, which was kind of insane considering they’d been best friends in kindergarten.
“Taylor,” Shauna answered flatly. “Would love to say I’m happy to see you, but I’d be lying.” Some of her teammates laughed while several of the Yellowjackets scoffed loudly behind Jackie.
The rivalry between the hockey and soccer teams had existed for years and, at this point nobody even remembered how it had started. But honestly? Shauna could. Or at least she could think of a few reasons.
The first one was currently standing directly in front of her with her hands planted on her hips and a look of pure disdain on her face. Their captains hated each other.
The second reason was that both teams were basically the only ones in school capable of actually winning anything. The boys’ football and baseball teams lost so consistently it had honestly become impressive, so naturally both groups considered themselves the only athletic program in school worth caring about. Which also meant both were constantly fighting to be considered the best.
Unfortunately, the school itself disagreed.
Because despite the fact that the girls actually brought home trophies, all the funding still somehow went to football and baseball. And thag was how the hockey and soccer teams had ended up sharing a field. Apparently some administrator had looked at both sports, seen grass involved in each one, and decided that was close enough. So every week both teams fought over who got the field to practice.
“Ha ha, funny,” Jackie said, resting her hands on her waist as she stared down at Shauna with a painfully fake smile. “We need the field to practice.”
Shauna ignored her completely and kept stretching.
“Hello, Shipman.” Jackie clapped sharply near her head. “You—”
Shauna raised a finger without looking at her, signaling for her to wait while she continued stretching her leg out slowly. The offended sound Jackie made was deeply satisfying. Only after another few seconds did Shauna finally straighten back up to her full height, maintaining eye contact the entire time purely to annoy her. “Sorry,” she said lazily. “You were saying?”
Jackie inhaled through her nose, almost like she was trying to calm down. “We need the field.”
“Well, I’m sorry, but we’re already using it.” Shauna gestured vaguely toward her team.
“You’ve been training for the past hour.”
“Keeping tabs on me?” Shauna raised an eyebrow. “If you want to join the team, Taylor, just ask.”
Jackie rolled her eyes. “Trust me, Shipman, if I wanted to spend my afternoons violently hitting things with a stick, I’d just take anger management classes.”
“Oh wow,” Nat said dryly. “Did Jeff help you come up with that one?”
Jackie ignored her completely. “Look, it’s our turn.”
Tai stepped up beside her, arms crossed over her soccer jacket. “We have sectionals in a few weeks.”
“And that’s our problem because…?” Lottie asked.
“Because unlike some teams, we actually have a chance of winning.”
“Oh, please,” Shauna barked out a laugh. “You kick a ball around for ninety minutes and cry every time someone breathes near you.”
“Oh shut up,” Tai shot back. “Your entire sport is literally just standing around waiting to hit something.”
Shauna pointed at her immediately. “And yet we still manage to be more interesting than soccer.”
Jackie let out a fake laugh. “At least people actually come watch our games.”
“That’s because soccer parents are a fucking cult.”
Jackie smiled tightly. “Cute.”
“Thank you,” Shauna replied. “I work very hard.”
“Could’ve fooled me.”
“Oh, absolutely devastating. Jackie Taylor insulted me, I’m gonna go cry in my car now.”
Jackie stepped closer. “Move your team.”
“No.”
“We booked the field.”
“We were here first.”
“That’s not how schedules work.”
“That sounds like a personal problem.”
Tai pinched the bridge of her nose. “Have someone ever told you how fucking annoying you are?”
Shauna smiled pleasantly and shrugged. “A few times.”
Before Tai could answer, another voice suddenly cut through the argument. “Maybe we can just share?” The second Gen stepped forward beside her captain, Shauna felt her entire mood sour instantly.
She just stared at her unflinchingly. Gen tried to hold the stare for a few seconds but failed miserably at hiding how nervous it made her. Then Melissa stepped in beside her, grabbing Gen’s arm instinctively. Shauna’s eyes immediately dropped to the gesture.
Maybe Jackie had a point earlier about hockey players liking to hit things, because Shauna definitely wanted to hit something right now. But suddenly, she knew exactly how to make herself feel better.
“You know what? That’s a great idea.”
Jackie frowned. “Wait, what?”
“Yeah, we can share.” She waved vaguely around the field. “Let’s do some female empowerment or whatever.”
The silence that followed was quite impressive. Shauna genuinely couldn’t tell who looked more disturbed by her statement: the Yellowjackets or her own team.
“Fine,” Jackie said slowly, clearly still waiting for a trap. “You take your side, we’ll take ours.”
“Wow, look at us. Breaking barriers.”
Jackie narrowed her eyes at her before turning around sharply. “Yellowjackets, let’s go.”
The second the soccer team walked away, Nat turned to Shauna horrified. “What the fuck was that?”
Shauna grabbed her stick from the bench. “I don’t know what you mean. This is feminism.”
Nat stared at her flatly. “You don’t give a shit about feminism, respectfully.”
Shauna shrugged. “I had a change of heart.”
The second part of their practice started after that. Or at least something resembling to it. The problem with sharing a field with the Yellowjackets was that they were impossible to ignore. Soccer was an irritating sport filled with irritating people wearing irritatingly bright uniforms, and somehow Jackie Taylor still managed to stand out among them. Which was deeply unfortunate. Shauna adjusted her grip on her stick as she watched the other girl shouting instructions at her teammates from across the field.
Jackie was annoyingly good at being captain. One sharp look from her and her entire team immediately corrected whatever they were doing wrong. It was terrible. More terrible was the fact that Jackie was actually a decent player.
Fast, coordinated, aggressive when she needed to be. Shauna watched her steal the ball from Tai during a drill and immediately redirect the play with such smooth confidence it almost impress—
No.
Absolutely not. Shauna stopped the thought before it could finish forming. She was not about to compliment Jackie Taylor in her own head.
That was just too much.
“Shipman!”
Shauna snapped back to attention as Mari threw her a ball. “You planning to participate today or just stare at the soccer girls?”
Shauna caught the ball aggressively. “I was actually thinking about how much I hate all of you.”
“Aw,” Nat said. “She’s feeling affectionate.”
Shauna flipped her off before taking off down the field.
The next twenty minutes passed in a blur of drills, shouting and the constant sound of whistles. The heat was becoming unbearable under her shirt, sweat sticking the back of her neck uncomfortably, but she ignored it. Another thing that she tried to ignore was that she could feel eyes on her. Every time she glanced toward the sidelines, Melissa and Gen were there. And every few minutes one of them glanced over toward her.
Maybe she was imagining it. Maybe she wasn’t. Either way, it pissed her off.
So during a passing drill, Shauna took a look toward the soccer side of the field, where Gen was standing and she swung. The hockey ball flew across before it slammed directly into Gen’s stomach. The girl folded instantly with a choked sound, dropping to the ground and clutching her stomach while several Yellowjackets yelled in alarm.
“Oh my God—”
“Gen, are you okay?”
“What the fuck?” Melissa dropped beside her first, panic all over her face while Jackie whipped around toward the hockey team in disbelief.
Gen curled slightly on herself, wheezing. “I’m okay,” she managed weakly. “It’s fine.”
Shauna walked over, hockey stick resting over her shoulder. “My bad, Gen,” she said, looking down at her. “Didn’t see you there.”
Gen looked up at her in disbelief, maybe because they both knew that was complete bullshit. Still clutching her stomach, she forced out, “It’s fine.”
Shauna smiled pleasantly. “Great.”
Across from her, Jackie looked absolutely furious. Which honestly improved Shauna’s mood considerably.
A few more minutes passed before their coach finally blew his whistle sharply. “Alright, practice is over.” He barely even looked up from his phone as the team started gathering their things. Shauna was shoving her gloves into her backpack when she heard footsteps approaching fast behind her.
“Shipman.” Jackie was storming toward her looking genuinely ready to fight.
Cute.
“Yes, Taylor?”
“You are a complete psycho.”
Shauna slung her bag over her shoulder. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You hit her on purpose.”
Shauna gasped mockingly. “Wow. Accusing me of assault?”
“She could’ve actually gotten hurt!”
“She’s alive.”
“That’s your defense?”
Shauna shrugged. “Seems solid to me.”
Jackie stepped closer. “What is wrong with you?”
“A lot of things.”
“You’re unbelievable.”
“And you’re being dramatic.”
“She was on the ground!” Jackie threw her hands up. “She couldn’t move for a moment.”
“And now she’s walking just fine. Recovery is beautiful.”
Jackie looked genuinely speechless for a second. “You are a savage.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Shauna muttered, adjusting her bag. “Anything else? Or are we done here?”
“Fuck you.”
“Break a leg, Taylor… like literally.” Shauna didn’t need to turn around to know Jackie had just given her the middle finger.
And for the first time in weeks, she actually smiled.
Two weeks later, the Wasps were getting ready to face Newark High, the Lions. They needed this win. Not just for pride, but for the very real chance of competing for a title if the season kept going their way. Shauna showed up earlier than the rest of her team. She always did.
She stood off to the side of the field, leaning against the concrete wall beneath the bleachers while smoking a cigarette as people slowly started to filter in and take their seats. A few were clearly just avoiding the baseball game happening near them, which, judging by the occasional cheer and then immediate groan, was going about as well as expected. Shauna scanned the crowd absently as she took another drag.
She had the same routine for every match. Show up early. Smoke. Watch people arrive. Try not to think too much before the game started. It had worked so far, they’d won most of their games. Shauna wasn’t about to jinx it now.
“Contemplating how you’re going to lose today?” Shauna didn’t even bother turning around. Jackie stepped into view anyway, looking entirely too pleased with herself already.
Shauna finally glanced at her. “We both know we’re winning.”
Jackie raised an eyebrow. “You sure about that?”
“What happened to school spirit? Shouldn’t you be rooting for us?”
“I’ll never root for you.”
“Terrible attitude.”
Jackie scoffed. “Would you root for us?”
Shauna didn’t even hesitate. “Apart from winning, the second thing that brings me the most joy in life is watching you lose, so no.”
“Asshole.”
“Bitch.”
The insult landed so naturally between them, neither even reacted to it. Jackie’s eyes dropped to the cigarette between her fingers. “Smoking before a match? I thought you were more professional than that.”
Shauna let out a laugh through the smoke. “Love to know you think about me this much.”
Jackie rolled her eyes immediately. “That shit’s gonna kill your lungs.”
“It’s my tradition before any match.”
“That’s stupid.” Jackie stepped closer, looking her up and down. “But hey, smoke more. Maybe you’ll run slower and you can just stop playing altogether. Do all of us a favor.”
Shauna barked out a laugh. “You’re so obsessed with me.”
“You wish.”
“You came all the way here before my match just to insult me. That’s dedication.”
Jackie crossed her arms. “I was bored.”
“Sure.”
“I was.”
Shauna smirked faintly before glancing back toward the field. “What are you even doing here? Shouldn’t you be watching your boyfriend’s game?”
Jackie’s brows furrowed immediately. “Jeff? You do know we’re broken up, right?”
“I don’t really keep up with your life, Taylor.”
That was a lie. A very obvious one.
Because Shauna absolutely knew, everyone knew. The Jackie and Jeff saga was basically half the school’s entertainment system at this point. She just wasn’t going to admit it. Besides, Shauna had just assumed they’d gotten back together already like they always did.
“Yeah, well, no,” Jackie said, rolling her eyes. “Besides, baseball fucking sucks.”
Shauna snorted before she could stop herself. “God, I know.” For one deeply upsetting second, a rare moment of agreement settled in the air. Shauna refused to acknowledge it and Jackie looked equally disturbed by it.
“Well,” Jackie said after a moment, shoving her hands further into her pockets. “I just came here to wish you all the bad luck.”
“Not staying to watch us win?”
“Personally, I’d rather put a fork in my eye, but thanks.” Jackie turned slightly, already starting to leave, then paused. “Besides, we all know you’re not going to score a single goal.“
“Oh yeah?”
“You’re too slow.”
Shauna smiled slowly. “We’ll see.”
So Shauna scored four goals that day. It was honestly ridiculous even by her standards.
She’d been a complete menace on the pitch from the second the game started, moving faster, hitting harder, playing like she had something to prove. To who? She didn’t know. But whatever it was, it worked. The Wasps won by a humiliating margin and now half the team was packed into Mari’s house screaming over music and getting drunk.
The original plan had apparently been a “small celebration.” Unfortunately, Mari’s definition of small meant inviting half the school. So Shauna was currently standing in Mari’s kitchen trying to make herself a drink while classmates she barely recognized stumbled through the hallway behind her.
Lottie leaned against the counter beside her, sipping from a cup. “You were terrifying today.”
“That poor goalie looked emotionally devastated,” Nat added while digging through Mari’s cabinets for alcohol like she lived there.
“She should be,” Shauna replied. “I scored on her four times.”
Nat pointed at her. “See? This is the confidence I support.”
“That is narcissism,” Lottie corrected.
“Same thing.” Shauna snorted quietly as she poured beer into a plastic cup. She couldn’t believe there wasn’t any Malibu in there, she had specifically asked Mari to get that for her and she didn’t. She had one job, literally. Nat held out a blunt toward her. “We need to get absolutely shitfaced tonight.”
Shauna pushed her hand away immediately. “I need to drive, so pass.”
“Boringggg.”
“Some of us are responsible adults.”
“You literally committed assault with a hockey ball like two weeks ago.”
“That was different.”
Lottie nodded thoughtfully. “I actually think that made her more responsible somehow.”
“Thank you, Lot. This is why you’ve always been my favorite.”
Nat rolled her eyes before suddenly waving toward someone across the kitchen. “Van!”
Shauna looked up just in time to see the ginger walking toward them with Tai beside her. She frowned immediately. “Since when are you friends with the soccer team?”
“Van’s cool,” Nat shrugged.
“She’s literally a Yellowjacket.”
“Yeah, but she’s cool, get over it. You can still hate the rest.” Nat said. “Besides you literally dated one, so shut up.”
Van walked up grinning. “Damn, Shipman. You were insane today.”
Tai nodded reluctantly beside her. “Unfortunately true.”
“Thank you,” Shauna said graciously. “I thrive on praise.”
“Seriously though, Jackie was getting kinda pissed at how good you were playing.”
That immediately caught Shauna’s attention.
“Oh?” she asked casually, trying very hard to sound uninterested. “She watched? She told me she’d rather do literally anything else.”
Van snorted. “Yeah, no. She’s completely full of shit. She watches most of your games actually.”
Tai immediately slapped her girlfriend across the arm hard enough to make her yelp. “What?” She asked, confused.
Tai looked horrified. “You weren’t supposed to say that.”
Shauna blinked. Jackie watched her games? That… didn’t make any sense. Jackie hated her, to the point she barely missed an opportunity to insult her. But it seemed like the girl also spent her free time voluntarily watching the Wasps, which honestly sounded deeply counterproductive. And yet… Something warm settled unpleasantly in Shauna’s chest anyway. Like satisfaction.
Which was stupid. She absolutely did not care if Jackie Taylor watched her games.
Before she could think about it too much, Akillah appeared out of nowhere already visibly drunk.
“Beer pong!” she yelled.
Apparently refusing was not an option because five minutes later Shauna found herself standing at a folding table with Nat while the Yellowjackets lined up across from them. Unfortunately for everyone involved, Tai was horrifyingly good at beer pong.
“This is insane,” Nat complained as Tai effortlessly landed another shot. “Nobody should be this good at this shit.”
“It’s called talent,” Tai replied smugly.
“You’re ruining the spirit of the game.”
“It’s not my fault you guys are losers.”
Shauna grabbed another cup while Nat groaned beside her. Then suddenly Mari stumbled between them, nearly body-slamming directly into the table. “Did you guys hear?” she slurred loudly.
“Mari,” Nat said immediately, grabbing the table before the cups collapsed. “Get off the fucking table.”
“Naaaat,” Mari whined. “Do you guys know what happened?”
Shauna immediately recognized that tone. She knew Mari well enough to know she was seconds away from exploding with gossip. She sighed. “Know what?”
Mari leaned forward conspiratorially despite the fact she was being louder than the music. “Apparently Jackie Taylor is a lesbian.”
For a second Shauna genuinely thought she’d misheard her. Jackie Taylor? Jackie Taylor who’d dated Jeff Sadecki for years?
Jackie Taylor, queen bee of the entire school?
No fucking way.
But then Shauna looked across the table and saw the expressions on Tai and Van’s faces. And before anyone could say anything else, both of them immediately turned and pushed through the crowd like they were searching for someone.
“Ohhh,” Mari gasped, eyes widening. “So it’s true.”
“Mari,” Nat snapped, “don’t be an asshole.”
“What?” Mari looked around defensively. “I’m just shocked. It’s not like I’m homophobic, I’m literally on a team with all of you.”
“Dude,” Nat said flatly. “What the fuck does that even mean?”
Shauna felt something cold settle in her stomach. Because she knew exactly what happened after rumors like this spread through school. She knew what people said. The looks, the whispers. The comments pretending to be jokes. She remembered every second of it. If it was true, then she felt sorry for Jackie. That was literally every queer kid worst nightmare.
“It’s the twenty-first century,” Shauna said sharply, grabbing her drink off the table. “Nobody gives a shit about sexuality anymore. Get over it.”
Then she turned around and walked away before anyone could answer.
The music got quieter once she stepped outside. Cold air hit her face immediately, helping a little with the buzz from the beer pong and whatever random alcohol Mari had apparently mixed into it. She walked down the porch steps and toward the street, pulling the flannel tighter around herself against the cold. Her car was parked a little farther away from the house under one of the dim streetlights. She leaned against it for a while instead of getting in.
She probably shouldn’t drive yet anyway.
Shauna tilted her head back slightly and stared up at the sky for a second.
So apparently Jackie Taylor was a lesbian? Honestly, the words still sounded strange in her head. Not because it was impossible. Anyone could be gay. But because Jackie was… Jackie.
Perfect Jackie Taylor with her perfect boyfriend and perfect grades and perfect life. The kind of girl people already decided things about before she even opened her mouth. People at school were going to lose their fucking minds over it. And Shauna understood why Tai and Van had looked so panicked earlier.
After a while she finally pushed herself off the car, fishing her keys from her pocket. Then she noticed movement farther down the street. Someone was storming angrily down the sidewalk, moving fast enough that Shauna could already tell they were pissed about something. At first she didn’t pay much attention, just watched as the person headed toward a car parked across the road.
Probably some drunk idiot from the party.
Then the girl suddenly kicked one of the tires hard enough to make the whole car shake.
“Fuck you!” she shouted furiously. Shauna stilled immediately, she would recognize that voice literally anywhere.
Jackie.
“What the actual fuck!” Jackie yelled at nobody in particular before kicking the side door.
Well.
That was something.
"I hate you!" Jackie slammed her fists down on the hood.
Shauna watched her for another second, unsure why exactly she felt compelled to intervene.
“Why do you hate that car so much?”
Jackie spun around so fast she almost lost her balance. For the first time since Shauna had met her, Jackie actually looked caught off guard. In any other situation, Shauna probably would’ve found it funny. Instead, her attention caught on Jackie’s face, her cheeks were stained with tears.
Oh.
“Leave me alone,” the girl muttered quickly, wiping angrily at her face as she refused to meet Shauna’s eyes.
They stood there in silence for a moment, before Shauna started walking toward her slowly. “Are you cold?”
Jackie blinked. “What?”
“You’re shaking.” Shauna pointed vaguely toward the tiny crop top Jackie was wearing. “And it got colder.”
Jackie looked down at her own hands like she hadn’t even noticed. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“I don’t know if it’s the cold or if I’m just angry.”
“Probably both.”
Before she could think too much about it, Shauna shrugged off her flannel and held it out toward her. Jackie just stared at it suspiciously. “It’s not going to attack you,” Shauna said.
“What about you?” Jackie asked quietly as she pulled it on. The sleeves were obviously too big on her.
“I’m fine.” Shauna pointed toward her car. “I’ve got a jacket in there.”
Jackie nodded slightly. Silence settled between them again, but this time it wasn’t awkward exactly. Just strange. “So,” She said after a while, clutching the flannel tighter around herself, “I’m assuming you know.”
“Know what?” Shauna asked innocently.
Jackie gave her a look. “Appreciate the act, but there’s really no need.”
“What act?”
“This.” Jackie gestured vaguely between them. “You being nice to me.”
Shauna leaned against the car beside her. “Maybe I’m having a personality crisis.”
“The only reason you’d even know about this is because people are talking already.”
Shauna didn’t deny it. But she also didn’t say sorry. Something told her pity was the last thing Jackie wanted from her. “So,” Shauna said instead, nodding toward the tire, “is there a reason you’re assaulting a random car in the middle of the night?”
“I…”
“I mean, it’s not every day you catch Jackie Taylor committing a felony.”
A humorless smile crossed Jackie’s face briefly. “It’s Jeff’s car.”
Shauna straightened immediately. “And why exactly are we attacking Jeff Sadecki’s property?”
Jackie looked back toward the car, jaw tightening. “He’s the one that outed me.”
For a second Shauna genuinely thought she’d misheard her. Then rage settled coldly into her stomach. “He what?” That motherfucker.
“I told him the truth because I thought I could trust him,” Jackie said quietly. “And I guess he didn’t take it very well.” Shauna just stared at her. Jackie laughed bitterly, arms wrapping tighter around herself. “So now everyone knows and my life is basically over.”
“Your life is not over, Taylor,” Shauna said immediately. “Get over it” Jackie opened her mouth, probably already preparing an insult, but Shauna kept going. “Yeah, it’s gonna suck for a while, people are assholes. But if anyone can survive everyone talking about them, it’s you.”
Jackie blinked at her. “Oh,” she said softly. “I… thanks. I guess.”
“Don’t make it weird.” That got another tiny laugh out of her. “So why the car?”
Jackie glanced back at it. “He loves this stupid ugly thing. I guess I just wanted to damage something he cared about.” She looked down at her reddened hands with a self-deprecating laugh. “Not really working though.”
Shauna looked toward her own car thoughtfully. “Well,” she said casually, “I’ve got two hockey sticks in my car if you want to actually destroy something.”
“Are you offering to help me commit vandalism?”
“Do you want to destroy the car or not?”
For the first time all night, Jackie smiled properly. It was sharp and a little unhinged. “Give me a stick.”
Five minutes later they were standing beside Jeff’s car. Shauna honestly hadn’t thought this part through very much. But Jackie looked happier now than she had all night, so maybe this counted as community service.
“Do the honors,” Shauna said, tossing her one of the sticks.
Jackie gripped it tightly, looked at the car for one long second and then swung. The side mirror shattered immediately and she stared at it in shock. “Oh my God,” she said breathlessly before swinging again.
“Well,” Shauna muttered approvingly. “You’ve definitely got unresolved anger issues.”
“Oh shut up,” Jackie laughed, hitting the hood again. Honestly, after that Shauna kind of had to join in. Partly because she also hated Jeff and because this was weirdly therapeutic. So she swung too. The headlights cracked under the impact.
“Oh that felt nice,”
“Right?” Jackie shouted back, laughing harder now. “Holy shit!” For the next minute they completely lost their minds. Jackie was yelling insults at the car between hits while Shauna nearly doubled over laughing after knocking off part of the bumper.
“HEY!”
Both of them froze. A voice shouted somewhere down the street.
“Oh shit,” Jackie whispered as fast footsteps started approaching.
“Get in the car,” Shauna said immediately. “Get in the fucking car.” Jackie practically sprinted after her as they stumbled toward Shauna’s car.
“Hurry up, Shipman!” Jackie hissed while Shauna fumbled aggressively with her keys. “I do not want to go to fucking jail!”
“Shut up, you’re making it worse!”
“I’m making it worse?!”
“Yes!”
The footsteps got louder. Shauna finally jammed the key into the ignition and the engine roared to life. “Oh thank God,” Shauna hit the gas just as someone rounded the corner behind them yelling, and the car shot down the street while both of them dissolved into slightly hysterical laughter.
Shauna drove aimlessly for the first few minutes while Jackie had her forehead pressed against the window, wheezing quietly. “Oh my God, I can’t believe we just did that.”
“Do you think anyone saw us?.”
“God I hope not.” Jackie laughed again before finally looking around. “Wait. Where are we even going?”
Shauna blinked. “Actually? No clue.”
“You started driving without a destination?”
“I was focused on escaping.”
“Are you dumb?”
“Do you want me to take you home?”
Jackie considered it for a second before nodding. “Sure.” Then she started giving directions while Shauna drove through the streets of Wiskayok.
Twenty minutes.
That was how long it would take to get Jackie home. It was probably the longest they had voluntarily spent alone together since they were five years old. The realization seemed to hit Jackie too because after a few minutes she started glancing around the inside of the car awkwardly.
“Nice car,” she said eventually.
Shauna looked over suspiciously. Was that a compliment? She couldn’t tell if Jackie was making fun of her or not. “Thanks”
“Hm.”
Silence settled again, broken only by the low sound of the radio playing quietly in the background. Until Jackie spoke again, softer this time. “Thank you.”
Shauna glanced at her briefly. “For helping you commit a crime?”
Jackie laughed under her breath. “Yeah. And, you know…” She hesitated. “For not treating me weird.”
Shauna frowned slightly. “Why would I?”
Jackie shrugged, staring out the window again. “I don’t know. I guess I’m expecting everyone else to.”
“It’s gonna be fine, Taylor.”
Jackie let out a quiet breath that almost sounded like she didn’t believe her. After another moment Shauna spoke again. “Can I ask something?”
“That usually means the answer’s no,” Jackie muttered. “But what the hell, sure.”
“You can tell me to fuck off if you want, but…” Shauna kept her eyes on the road. “Why tell Jeff if you didn’t want everyone to know? He’s a douche.”
Jackie sighed heavily. “I know. It’s just…” She rubbed tiredly at her face. “He kept trying to get back together with me. For months. And I couldn’t take it anymore.” Shauna hummed.
“And I thought I could trust him,” Jackie admitted quietly. “We were friends before all of this, we’ve known each other forever. I thought maybe he’d understand.”
“Jeff?” Shauna snorted. “Understand? Yeah right.”
“Fuck you. You think I wanted this?”
“Obviously not, but this is what happens when people convince themselves that Jeff is a nice person.”
Jackie rolled her eyes already knowing she was about to say something mean. “You see this,” Shauna continued seriously, “is the real problem with him. The worst part about Jeff being an idiot isn’t even Jeff. It’s the people around him who somehow forget every five minutes that he’s an idiot.”
Jackie pressed a hand over her mouth trying to stop laughing. “Seriously,” Shauna continued, gesturing dramatically with one hand. “They’re all like ‘Oh my God, did you see what Jeff did? Why would he do that?’ Because he’s an idiot. We’ve had this conversation, multiple times. Jeff is a fucking idiot.”
“I hate that I can’t even argue with that.”
“Of course you can’t, I’m always right.”
Jackie shook her head, still smiling faintly before her expression softened again. “I think…” she hesitated. “I think I just dated him because it was easy.” Shauna glanced at her briefly while Jackie kept staring out the window. “He liked me and everyone expected us to stay together forever. I kept thinking maybe if I tried hard enough I could just…” She made a vague frustrated gesture. “Convince myself.” Shauna stayed quiet at that.
“I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this,”
“Maybe because I get it,” Shauna said before she could stop herself. Jackie looked over immediately. Shauna sighed internally.
Great.
“Besides,” she added quickly, “it’s not like I’m gonna tell anyone. No one would believe you willingly sat in my car anyway.”
Jackie snorted softly. “Define willingly.”
“You got in voluntarily.”
“In order to not get arrested for vandalism.”
“Still counts.”
Jackie smiled again, but it faded after a second. Then quieter, almost like she didn’t mean to say it out loud, she admitted, “I feel like I got my heart broken.” Shauna tightened her grip on the steering wheel slightly. “Which is insane, because I didn’t even love him like that. But it still feels…” She laughed bitterly. “I don’t know. Awful.”
Shauna swallowed. “He failed you.” she said quietly. “He disappointed you. So yeah… having your heart broken is awful.” Jackie looked over at her.
“And sometimes, it feels like it’s the only thing you can think about.”
The curiosity on Jackie’s face appeared immediately. “You sound like you know about that.”
“Hmm.”
Jackie narrowed her eyes. “Spill.”
“No.”
“Oh come on.”
“Nope.”
The blonde rolled her eyes and leaned back against the seat again. “Whatever.”
After that, silence settled over the car. Neither of them said another word for the rest of the drive, the tension hanging thick between them until they finally pulled up outside Jackie’s house. The girl looked around awkwardly before finally clearing her throat. “Okay well… thanks, I guess.”
Shauna nodded once. “Yeah.”
Jackie reached for the door handle, already halfway out of the car before Shauna spoke again. She didn’t really know why.
Maybe because after everything Jackie had told her, it felt fair to say something back. Or maybe she just wanted to talk about it with someone who wouldn’t immediately look at her with pity.
“I was dating someone too.”
Jackie paused instantly. Slowly, she sat back down and turned fully toward her. “Oh?” Shauna immediately regretted opening her mouth. “How did nobody know that?”
Shauna shrugged slightly, keeping her eyes on the steering wheel instead of her. “She wanted to keep it quiet, so nobody knew.”
Jackie frowned slightly. “And you were okay with that?”
“Not really,” She admitted. “I thought it was stupid. But I respected it.”
Jackie stayed quiet for a second before asking softly, “What happened?”
“She dumped me.” Shauna laughed once without humor. “For her best friend.”
Jackie winced immediately. “Shit.”
“Yep.” Shauna leaned back further into the seat. “The worst part is she suddenly doesn’t care about hiding anymore now that she’s with her.” She looked down at her hands. “So yeah. I guess I understand the whole disappointment and heartbreak thing.”
Jackie opened her mouth automatically. “I’m sor—” Then she stopped herself halfway through. Shauna appreciated that more than she expected.
“That sucks,” She said instead. “She was probably ugly anyway.”
Shauna laughed despite herself. Jackie looked weirdly pleased about it. “No, she wasn’t. But thanks.”
“I just wish there was a way to hurt her back,” she admitted after a while. “Because it sucks knowing I’m apparently the only one still thinking about it while she’s walking around all happy with someone else.” She scoffed bitterly. “Fuck her.”
Jackie nodded immediately like she understood the feeling perfectly. “Yeah, I get that.” For a second she just picked at the sleeve of Shauna’s flannel before speaking again. “I kinda wish I could hurt Jeff too somehow... Apart from the car, I mean.”
Shauna snorted. “Honestly? That felt kinda nice.”
“A little,”
“His face is gonna be priceless.”
That finally got a real laugh out of Jackie. “Oh my God,” she said, covering her face briefly. “He’s gonna lose his fucking mind.”
“He deserves it.”
“He really does.”
Jackie glanced at her again, something thoughtful crossing her face. “Can I ask who was she?”
“You’re weirdly invested in this.”
“I’m curious.”
Shauna sighed loudly. “You actually know her.”
“Do I?”
“Melissa.”
Jackie blinked once. Then again. “Wait,” she said slowly, turning toward her fully now. “Go back for a second. Melissa? Like… Melissa from my team?”
“Yes.”
“Hat?”
Shauna groaned already. “Yes, Taylor, I was dating Melissa.”
Jackie stared at her in complete disbelief. “You were dating Hat?”
“Yes.”
“Like fully dating?”
“Yes,” Shauna said slowly. “I was fully dating Hat.”
She genuinely couldn’t believe she had to phrase it like that.
Jackie actually snorted. “Oh my God. You’re crying over Hat?”
“Okay first of all, fuck you, I’m not crying over her.”
Jackie made a face. “Ehh, you kind of are.”
“No I’m not. I’m just saying I want to psychologically ruin her life.”
“Yeah, somehow that sounds worse.”
“Whatever.”
Jackie shook her head, still looking genuinely shocked. “I’m just really surprised someone like you would date her.”
Shauna narrowed her eyes immediately. “Someone like me?”
Jackie noticed the danger too late. “That’s not what I meant.”
“It definitely sounded like what you meant.”
“I just mean…” Jackie struggled for words. “You don’t look like you’d date someone like Melissa.”
“Well apparently she agrees considering she dumped me.”
Jackie snorted. “Imagine getting dumped by Hat. Couldn’t be me.”
“Imagine sucking Jeff Sadecki’s dick, couldn’t be me.”
Jackie grimaced. “Okay. Touche.”
“You know,” Shauna said, “she really hated the nickname Hat. She complained about you calling her that constantly.”
“Is this how I find out that Hat doesn’t like me?” Jackie shrugged. “Everyone has a nickname.”
“No, they don’t.”
“Okay, but hers is funny.” Jackie grinned slightly. “And accurate.”
It was kind of funny but Shauna would rather die than admit that out loud.
“No it’s not.”
Jackie looked at her knowingly. “You’re probably calling her Hat in your head right now.”
She stayed silent, Jackie smirked immediately. “Told you.” Then she frowned slightly. “Wait does that mean…” Shauna already knew what she was going to say. Her expression must’ve given it away because Jackie immediately sat up straighter. “She dumped you for Gen?”
Shauna groaned softly. “Yeah.”
Jackie stared at her in horror. “Oh, that is brutal.”
“Wow thanks Taylor, exactly what I wanted to hear.”
“No seriously,” Jackie said, still looking offended on her behalf somehow. “That’s like… wow, your life actually sucks.”
Shauna looked at her flatly. “Your ex publicly outed you like two hours ago.”
Jackie considered that. “Okay,” she admitted. “Maybe both our lives suck.”
The silence stretched between them for a moment. Then Jackie finally sighed and reached for the door handle again. “Well, I should probably go.”
“Yeah,” Shauna nodded. “Me too.”
Jackie pushed the door open and stepped out onto the sidewalk, but before closing it she paused and leaned slightly back down toward the car. “For what it’s worth,” she said after a second, “you can definitely do better than her.”
Shauna blinked in surprise. It was embarrassing because, annoyingly enough, it actually did make her feel better. She covered it quickly with a shrug. “Sure.”
“Never mind,” Jackie said immediately, like she regretted saying something sincere.
Shauna smirked faintly. “Oh, and Taylor?”
“What.”
“A little birdie told me you like watching my games.” Shauna tilted her head innocently. “Do you want an autograph or something?”
Jackie looked genuinely horrified for half a second. “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Sure, glad you enjoyed my four goals today though.”
Jackie let out a long-suffering sigh. “God, you’re annoying.” She shook her head before taking a small step backwards. “Thanks for the drive. And… everything.”
Shauna nodded once.
“But,” Jackie added quickly, pointing at her, “it goes without saying that this” she gestured vaguely between them “never happened.”
“Obviously.”
“Perfect.”
They stared at each other for another second. Then Jackie shoved her hands into the sleeves of Shauna’s flannel and started walking backwards toward her front door. “Goodnight, Shipman,” she called out. “Hope your car breaks down.”
Shauna smiled despite herself.
“Goodnight, Taylor.”