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"I got you this."
Murderbot was notoriously difficult to get gifts for and generally disliked social events anyway, so when Gurathin had thought of this, he'd just bought it. There was no point in waiting for a special occasion or even wrapping it. (That would have just annoyed it anyway.) So he simply handed over the plain paper bag he'd been given at the store.
Murderbot looked at the bag for a moment before taking it. It was fully possible it already knew what was in it, what with its drones hovering about and its paranoid surveillance. Still, Gurathin didn't think it knew, or it would have most likely said something about it earlier. He couldn't help but feel a bit giddy about having gotten it a good gift that he felt sure it'd actually like.
But his slight smile soon fell away when it took the items of clothing out of the bag and had no outward obvious reaction. It seemed to freeze, looking at the items.
It was a set of pyjamas made from high quality silk. Murderbot had been touching Gurathin constantly (in private, behind closed doors, obviously) when he'd been wearing his own set of silk pyjamas on lazy days at home, seeming to marvel at the texture and feel. Gurathin had thought it would enjoy having some silk clothing of its own to wear.
However, now he was seriously second guessing everything he'd assumed as he watched a subtle but complicated emotion play out on the construct's face—one it was trying not to show.
"You're upset," he said, lowering his eyes so he was looking at its hands instead of its face. These days, it was usually okay with him looking at it, but it would probably appreciate the gesture at the moment.
Turning its head away, Murderbot stared off to the side, its jaw flexing. It was still holding the bag in one hand and the pyjamas in the other, worrying the fabric between its fingers. It looked almost like a self-soothing gesture. For a few agonising seconds, it didn't give an answer. Gurathin was starting to think he wouldn't get one.
"Yes, I'm upset," it finally admitted, as though it was a struggle to do so. It probably was; expressing its inner emotions and feelings was still difficult sometimes, even after all their time together. "But not with you."
Gurathin let out a breath. "Okay." It could probably hear the relief in his voice, even though he tried to keep his tone neutral. He didn't say anything else. He knew to be patient and not push, waiting for it to speak on its own terms.
With a quiet whirring sound from the complex machinery in its legs, it shifted slightly on its feet, which was pretty much uncomfortable squirming when it came from Murderbot. "I'm upset for a stupidly trivial reason," it confessed. "And I'm even more upset because I'm upset for a stupidly trivial reason. It's... stupid."
It was rather cute how it sometimes refused to use any eloquent or complex words, especially when talking about its emotions. Gurathin let a small smile break out on his lips again, now that some of the tension had eased. "Yeah. Feelings are like that."
It glanced towards him before averting its eyes again, presumably checking his expression or testing how eye contact felt. "I'm upset because... I didn't think to get something like this."
Gurathin's eyebrows pulled together in a slight frown. "How do you mean?"
"I didn't consider that getting something like this for myself was even a possibility." It was glaring down at the shiny fabric as though it had personally insulted it, but it was obviously not the real target. "I have been free for so many years and I still don't—" It stopped abruptly, mouth snapping shut as though it was biting the words back.
"Hey. Hey, it's okay." Gurathin took two steps to close the distance between them, fully trusting that it would stop him if it didn't want to be approached or touched. It knew it could do that without offending him, and had in the past.
"I understand how you feel. I really do." Moving slow and deliberate, Gurathin put his hands on its chest and moved them down, smoothing down the thick fabric of its hoodie. The contact seemed to help remind it to relax its stance, let some tension out of its shoulders, and focus on its breathing. Its chest pressed against Gurathin's hands on the inhale. "When I first came here and I got clean, I didn't feel like I deserved good things. It took a long time to change that."
Murderbot was just standing there, not doing anything but letting him touch it and talk. It seemed to be calmer though, so he continued.
"I know that you logically know that you can have things, but to feel it is something slightly different." Gurathin smiled wider, perhaps a bit cheekily, and glanced up at it. "You just have to practice wanting. I'll help remind you."
By now, it was practically pouting adorably, a faint blush starting to show on its cheeks.
"I know how to want things," it grumbled.
"Oh, yeah? And what do you want?"
"I want to wear this, and I want you, also wearing silk, on my lap, on the sofa, covered in blankets."
Gurathin smiled at it. "Watching media?"
It made a noise, shockingly similar to a snort, and shot him a withering look. "That goes without saying."