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Upon hearing the news, Saps felt an array of emotion through his body, a chill running down his spine, and his stomach churning from guilt.
Flux had always saved him in multiple forms, whether it was physically, emotionally, or verbally. Whether he even knew he had saved him or not, Saparata knew he had to pay Fluixon back.. somehow.
——— - ———
The day before the surgery, Fluixon felt uneasy.
How could he not? He was taking the life of someone, someone's lover, child, and even possibly their parents. The donation came out as anonymous, if it wasn't, would he feel guiltier—or at least any better?
—— - ——
Saparata stared at his reflection from the bathroom mirror for 30 minutes that day, thoughts filling his head, and not one thought wasn't about Fluix.
…
After the excruciating hours of waiting, the surgery was successful.
Fluixon was still deep asleep from the anesthesia, unaware of what awaits him.
Outside his room, there stood Thomas, tears flowing down rhythmless. How could he—how could he be so selfish? Letting one else disappear for he couldn't stand losing his one and only.
——— - ———
When Fluix woke up and stole a glance at Thomas through the ajar door, he felt his.. heart drop.
For what reason exactly? Was it because of the state he was seeing his friend in right now? Or is it because of the guilt he's carrying?
After a while of Thomas hesitating to enter the room, Flux called out to him.
Who was he to refuse?
This is what he wanted.. wasn't it?
He just clutched the piece of paper he was holding, crumpling it, all near his chest.
Swallowing hard, Thomas swung the door open.
The first thing Fluix noticed were the swollen, red eyes of the person before him.
Intuitive, no?
Secondly, it was that.. that paper he was clutching—now soaked in tears.
"What's that?" Fluix managed to mutter out, weakly,
Thomas' breath hitched, how could he back away from this now?
“Ah.. nothing, just— trash micro doodled on.” Thomas’ heartbeat grew heavier by the second.
He lied.
He lied.
To the one person he has never told a singular lie before.
...
“I see.”
A moment of silence flew by, no one daring to make any form of sound.
...
“Thomas,” Flux called out, stealing the attention of many in the room.
“I wasn't born yesterday, what's in that paper?”
...
Thomas took in a shaky breath before handing the crumpled piece of paper to Flux with reluctance, and a shaking hand.
Flux took the paper and slowly unraveled it.
He sure took his time doing so,
As he saw the name written in cursive at the bottom of the letter, the paper crinkled under his thumb, and it felt like everything else aside from his thoughts that are drowning him have slowed down.
— The letter —
“If you’re reading this, then it means you’re awake, and I’m exactly where I was always going to be, and where I had always wanted to be.
I wish I could’ve seen your face the moment you realized. Trust me, I spent my time imagining it amidst making my decision.
Finding out that you like me back was a loophole, it was both the cruelest thing I've ever heard, and something I've wished for.
But, hey! Don’t you dare feel guilty.
You once told me I was your reason to keep going, no? So this is me, doing my part and keeping my promise the only way I knew how to.
Live a long life for me, live it like how I know you'd want it, alright? Fall in love again someday—yeah, I know, I hate that part too. But, I still want you to experience being loved by someone.
Even if that someone isn't me
I'll remind you once; If anything made all of this bearable, it was loving you.
— Forever yours, Saparata.”
...
Fluixon’s right hand left the tear-soaked paper and moved over the heart,
His heart.
His heart.
A smile slowly crept onto his face as tears strolled down his cheeks, the same ones his dear Saps had always caressed.
It was quite new to him having to wipe away his own tears,
because Saps used to always be there for him, wiping his tears away.
...
Now he isn't.