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Starbase 39-Sierra
Office of Adm. T'nae, Sector Command
“You've got to be joking!” the Andorian shouted, almost throwing the PADD onto the Admirals' desk. “You want me to go on an undercover assignment with him? He has to be the worst captain in Starfleet history!”
Admiral T'nae's eyebrow quirked momentarily. “Indeed? What are your supporting data for this contention?”
“Look at his record! His very first command was destroyed by a single Borg – not even a Borg cube, or a probe, but one Borg! His second was involved in some very questionable shenanigans that wound up with a civilian science outpost being destroyed, then he lost it in a simple astrophysical anomaly. He came back with a ship he claimed to have built himself from other wreckage, then used it to somehow... acquire an artificial intelligence from a secret Starfleet installation, which he subsequently refused to release to your office! His actions during the Undine destruction of Earth Spacedock were so questionable that he and his entire command staff were cashiered, and accepted back into Starfleet later only because they were extremely short on ships and personnel during the Iconian War. He and his ship vanished unaccountably during the height of the Second Battle of Earth – I strongly suspect because he acted like a typical Ferengi coward and ran away! - and since that time, I can't find any record of his ship accomplishing anything of note! And you think this is the person to help lead an investigation into Delta Quadrant piracy? He'd likely sell us out to the pirates at his first chance!”
“I will forgive your outburst on this occasion, Commander,” T'nae replied frostily, “as I understand that as a representative of Andorian Imperial Intelligence, you may be unfamiliar with Starfleet protocol. I shall caution you, however, that any such further displays of blatant prejudice – against any of the personnel under my command – may result in your being returned to your superiors, along with a record of your behavior. The simple fact that I have recommended Grunt as a suitable assistant for your investigation should have proved sufficient. I see now that I may have given you too much credit.” She touched her desk. “Captain, you may enter.”
The door to Admiral T'nae's office slid open, and a medium-sized Ferengi in a Starfleet uniform, collar adorned with a captain's rank pips, entered. He nodded toward the Vulcan. “Good afternoon, Admiral. I take it this isn't a social occasion?”
T'nae's eyebrow slid upward again. “Indeed not. Before we proceed, please place your hand on the verifier.” A slab slid from the top of her desk, a handprint outline glowing next to a small display screen.
Grunt laid his hand in the outline, then jerked back. “Ow! It bit me!”
“Yes,” the admiral replied imperturbably. “In light of the frequency with which shapeshifting species have infiltrated secure locations in Khitomer Alliance space, we have incorporated tissue-sample analysis along with the usual standard identification procedures.”
”Identity verified,” an emotionless voice reported from the air. ”Special Agent Grunt, admiral, Starfleet Intelligence, Field Operative division. Subject is cleared for all information regarding current assignment.”
The Andorian exploded in outrage. “What? How?”
The Ferengi shrugged. “Just kind of happened,” he said. “One thing led to another, as they tend to, and the next thing I knew, I was dragooned.”
“But – but this record!! You lost your first ship! And what were you doing during the Second Battle of Earth?!?”
Grunt smiled thinly. “What's his clearance?”
“Commander th'Taren is an operative with Andorian Imperial Intelligence,” T'nae replied. “He is cleared for information up to Top Secret, Type Red.”
Grunt shook his head. “Sorry, son,” he said to th'Taren, “I'm afraid I can't tell you that.”